Key Steps To Gaining Self-Awareness That Helps You Grow

To understand why you need self-awareness, it helps to know exactly what self-awareness is. According to Psychology Today, self-awareness is “the accurate appraisal and understanding of your abilities and preferences and their implications for your behavior and their impact on others.”

 

To become self-aware, the first thing you need to do is get an accurate appraisal and understanding of your abilities. This can be one of the harder parts of becoming self-aware. Why?

 

Many times, our Ego will protect itself from any negative thoughts about our ability. Alternatively, on the opposite end of the spectrum, people with low self-esteem will not have a good view of their abilities. So, how do we gain an accurate understanding of our abilities?

 

Self-Testing

 

Both Psychology Today and Psych Central recognize that self-testing is one of the keys to recognizing your abilities. People self-test through both real world experience and by taking personal inventories. 

 

It is important to go through this testing period to gain self-awareness. Most people do this as adolescents. However, those with histories of trauma or other significant life experiences at early ages or as teens may not have gone through this process. This self-testing period is where you try new things to find out what you're good at and what you're not good at. 

 

You should continue self-testing throughout your life to discover hidden talents and new joys. Often people lack the confidence to endeavor into things they are passionate about until they are more mature. 

 

Once you have a good idea of your skill set and preferences you are ready for the next portion of self-awareness. Understanding how those abilities and preferences affect your behavior and how they impact others. 

 

Your Behavior

 

Knowing that loud noises make you uncomfortable is one thing. Understanding that this is why you get irritated in crowded spaces is another. Analyzing the reasons for your behaviors is the next step in becoming self-aware.

 

Not all behavior analysis should be negative. For example, you may discover that the reason you really enjoy going to a craft store (but never craft or purchase crafting goods) is that it reminds you of your grandmother. Making these types of behavioral connections can be extremely rewarding.

 

As It Relates To Others

 

This area of self-awareness can change your life. Knowing why you react and relate to people the way you do is the final step in being truly self-aware.

 

This can also be the most difficult step in becoming self-aware because it requires you to have gone through the first two steps of the self-awareness work. It also requires you to be 100 percent honest with yourself about how you perceive other people as well as your performance.

 

An example of self-aware behavior in the work place would be seeing your boss behaving indifferently to you after poor performance at an important presentation. Because you are self-aware, you know your performance was bad because you had been sick. You also know it is not an excuse for poor performance. Instead of getting angry with your boss for his indifferent behavior, you accept that there were things that could have gone better during the presentation.

 

A person who is not self-aware, in the same set of circumstances, would likely deny their poor performance. Things would only escalate from there as their inability to see their own shortcomings causes feelings of resentment towards their boss. Now instead of performing better, they perform their duties with resentment towards their boss for the boss’ poor attitude. 

 

The situation can go many different ways depending on the level of self-awareness that everyone involved has. It is only through self-awareness that people can begin to recognize how their role affected the outcome of a situation. 

 

7 Key Ways to Take Charge of Your Life

Have you ever found yourself pausing mid-day to reflect on life? Are you happy doing what you’re doing? Or are you just merely reacting to everything being thrown at you without taking the time to think about anything, really. Do you feel like your life has no real meaningful direction? Well, you’re not alone.

 

Many people, working or not, women and men, young and old, all feel disconnected from their core values and beliefs. And very rarely do they ever follow their heart.

 

The good news is taking charge of your life can be done. Here are a few tips to how to regain control over your life.

 

1.  Be honest with yourself and understand what you’re avoiding. Whether it’s the job, or the career path that you don’t like but are too scared about facing a change, be honest about your feelings. Only then can you start being upfront with yourself. Being authentic makes you feel better, about who you are, and quite soon, you’ll find yourself treating those around you with the same sincerity, helping you forge more meaningful relationships in your life.

 

2.  Take responsibility. We’re all good at making excuses, and blaming everything and everyone else. It’s called the “self-serving bias’ where we blame failures on external factors when we’re just as to blame. It takes the load off of facing our shortcomings and coming face to face with the fact that we were lacking in some way or we didn’t’ try our best.

 

3.  Do your best without judgment or criticism. Have you ever seen top athletes taking it easy on themselves because they’ve excelled at something? No, because if they did, they’d lose their edge. They don’t take it easy and relax just because they’ve become great. Instead, they push themselves even further. And remember, whatever you do, make the loudest voice your own. Don’t get pulled in by others’ opinions of you. Have faith in your own abilities and trust your instincts.

 

4.  Enjoy the little things. Kierkegaard said, “Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.” Find out what you want to do in life, what excites you and makes you happy. Try to challenge yourself daily by trying something new or doing something you’re used to but in a different way, this way, you’re not stuck in some mindless daily grind. Little by little, you’ll learn how to enjoy every moment of your life. Even doing the dishes can be enjoyable under the right circumstances; turn on some music or take that time to practice mindfulness which is in itself a form of meditation so you’re putting every minute to good use.

 

5.  Try new things. No one has everything figured out. Even those who seem like they know what they’re doing, constantly ask themselves if they’re doing it right. Therefore, it’s important to make it a habit of trying one new thing per week to help open your eyes to new experiences and meet new people in the process. Even if you find yourself not enjoying something, move on and try something new.

 

6.  Have direction. If you’re going to accomplish anything, knowing which way to go is necessary. Have faith and be honest with yourself every step of the way. One of the best ways to do that is just by giving yourself a few minutes of “me” time every day to do something for yourself without any distractions or noise. Start a journal, read a book, or practice meditation. When you give your brain some downtime, you’ll gain clarity to what you really want to do with your life. Plus, cortisol levels will drop as a result, allowing you to become more focused.

 

7.  Be patient. If you get frustrated at every turn and tumble, you won’t get very far in life. Start small at a pace you’re comfortable with. Then gradually increase the pace, one day at a time. Only then can you have real control over your life.

 

The Importance Of Inner Peace

If you’re like me, the first time you heard the term inner peace was from an animated, talking turtle on the children’s movie Kung Fu Panda (Master Oogway). There was something so serene about the smile of the fictional character that I needed to know more.

 

Perhaps you already know that inner peace is a state of quiet calm. Inner peace is achieved in the mindthrough partial emotional a detachment and selective focus. Inner peace is important because it allows you to guide your life through conscious decisions rather than emotional reactions. Inner peace enables you to stop reacting to your environment and to really choose your actions.

 

Partial emotional detachment and selective focus seem like easy concepts when you say them out loud. However, these two concepts can be some of the most difficult mind-work that you ever embark on. Master Oogway attempted to introduce many people to the concept of inner peace, and he was dead-on in describing the concepts. For an animated character, he had some pretty important points to make.

“There is just news. There is no good or bad.”

 

One of the key concepts that Master Oogway tries to teach during the movie is a tenant of inner peace. There is no such thing as good or bad news, it is all just news. Successconsciousness.com highlights how slight detachment can allow you to look at information without reacting to it. If someone tells you something that you don’t like Successconsciousness.com suggests that you start by asking yourself some important questions.

 

·      Is the news important?

·      Why am I affected by the information?

·      Is it true?

 

If we react with the emotions first, these types of questions cannot be asked. If we don’t know whether or not the information is true, we cannot choose to use it. If the information isn’t important, then we can choose not to react to it at all. Finally, if we know why we are affected by the information, we can truly begin to understand how it pertains to us. 

 

Realizing that all news is just information and our reactions to it are within our control helps us achieve inner peace and guide our lives through conscious decisions rather than emotional reactions.

“An acorn can only become the mighty oak, not a cherry tree.”

 

Many times people who are struggling to find inner peace are struggling because they are fighting against nature and choosing to focus on their failures. Selective focus allows you to choose which elements in your life to highlight. It also helps you learn acceptance.

 

Tiny Buddha discusses how acceptance plays an important role in finding inner peace. Knowing that you cannot change other people or situations can greatly increase your satisfaction with the world. Just as you cannot make an acorn become a cherry tree, you can’t change things that are outside of your control. The only thing you can change is your acceptance of the situation or other people’s behavior.

 

Selective focus is choosing how you see things. Selective focus is also choosing what you spend your energy on. Daringtolivefully.com notes that when you take responsibility for your state of mind and stop giving power to others, you can choose how you feel. Tiny Buddha backs this up by noting that you are in full control of your thoughts.

 

Before researching inner peace, many people feel that their thoughts are outside of their own control. They are too focused on trying to get an acorn to turn into a cherry tree, so they cannot even conceptualize about anything else. Once you take control of your thoughts and focus on the benefits of the acorn tree your satisfaction and inner peace will increase.

 

Yes, there is more to learn about inner peace than something that can be taught from an animated turtle on a children’s movie. But, inner peace can be broken down into pretty easy concepts introduced in simple ways to people everywhere.

 

If you need more guidance than what Master Oogway provides, you can always seek professional guidance and counseling or spiritual counseling to help you on your way to finding inner peace. No matter how you get there, having inner peace will certainly serve you in your life.

 

5 Characteristics Of Decisive People

The effects of being indecisive go beyond taking hours to decide on a dish from a menu or days to pick a paint color for their room. According to the study, A psychological theory of indecisiveness by the Netherland Journal of Psychology, indecisiveness leads to the loss of time, money, and opportunity.

 

Decisive people make up their minds quickly when presented with several choices, and they stick to their decisions. There are a few characteristics that are unique to decisive people. 

 

People who wish to become decisive can work on emulating these characteristics and attempt to exhibit them. Practicing will help you to develop this skill and in no time, you'll find yourself being more decisive. 

 

Self-Confidence

 

This is the principal characteristic of decisive people and what fuels their ability to make quick decisions. They have complete confidence in themselves and trust their ability to make good decisions quickly. 

 

This entails having a precise idea of who they are and making decisions that help them grow in that direction. Knowing who you are helps make the process of making decisions easier. 

 

According to Angelina R. Sutin of the NIH Biomedical Research Center in her study Personality and Career Success: Concurrent and Longitudinal Relations, one way of showing confidence is extroversion. This entails being socially confident and comfortable with discussing with people in a social gathering.

 

Great Observers

 

Life is all about relationships and decisive people know who they are up against and who to partner with. The knowledge to make this decision is obtained through observation and being able to ask the right questions.

 

They hear and remember every small detail. This usually means they are armed with the essential information required to make a decision when one is demanded quickly. 

 

Live In The Present

 

Decisions have their consequences, and no one can boast of ALWAYS making the right decisions. Decisive people are not people with a 100% track record of correct decisions; they may have made one or two wrong decisions in the past. What differentiates them from indecisive people is the fact that they live in the present. They are not stuck in the past, worrying about what went wrong the one time they picked a wrong choice. They leave such failure in the past and only pick the lessons it taught. 

 

Likewise, decisive people do not spend time stressing about potential problems that may arise due to a decision. They make a choice and deal with the issues as they emerge.

 

Continuous Learner

 

Being knowledgeable about a topic makes making a decision infinitely easier. A decisive person never knows enough; they are continuous learners, always investigating new ideas and exploring new topics.

 

They constantly hone their skills by broadening their knowledge on a wide variety of topics. They learn from experience and consider every time they made a wrong decision as a lesson on how to do better going forward. 

 

Focused Thinking

 

Decisive people do not get easily distracted once their eyes have been set on a goal. This eliminates all thoughts and keeps their mind focused on the outcome they desire. Due to this fact, it is easier to make decisions that help bring the said outcome without letting external factors interfere. 

 

Several Psychology studies have found that focusing and eliminating distractions helps make decisions easier as a break in concentration leads to a regression in the thought process. When these distractions are eliminated by focused thinking, regressions are eliminated, and decisions are made faster.

 

Summary

 

Decisiveness is a skill and lacking this skill doesn't mean you have to be forever hindered by indecisiveness, as it is a skill that can be learned with practice and dedication. 

 

Everyone wants to be more decisive, and a way to become more decisive is learning the characteristics of decisive people and trying to emulate said characteristics. Copying and following these characteristics is a good start in your journey to being more decisive.

 

5 Most Pivotal Life Decisions You Will Make

Every decision that you make helps shape your life, but some are more pivotal than others. For example, choosing a donut for breakfast instead of fruit is not going to have the same impact as choosing one job over another. 

 

The decisions you make today might affect your life immediately, it might be a week from now or even a decade from now. It might be a ripple effect or it could be cumulative. With that in mind, let's discuss the five most pivotal life decisions you will make. 

Retirement 

You might be surprised that this is the number one decision, but it's one you make early on. At least, it should be. How much of your paycheck is auto paid into your retirement fund? The majority of people delay this for far too long which is why the majority of people are not prepared for retirement.

Unless you want to work a part-time job in your 70s because you have to, then you should look at your budget and up the ante. If the world was perfect, you would dedicate 25% of your monthly salary to your retirement fund, but as we all know that isn't always possible. Whatever your number is, you need to set up an automatic payment so you never see it. It's a lot easier to cope when it never lands in your main account. 

Career

This is two-fold because the first pivotal career decision you make is what career to embark on. This generally starts with college and selecting your major, entering a trade school, or skipping continued education altogether. Regardless of the direction you take, you have to decide what you want to do with your life. 

The second pivotal career decision you make is when you realize you got it wrong the first time and have to decide how to change it. Maybe you want to start over entirely and return to school. Perhaps you want to chase a high position in a different company or change industries. 

Whatever it is, this is perhaps an even more challenging situation than the first because by this point in your life you have bills, salary expectations, and responsibilities that make everything feel impossible, but nothing is impossible. 

Location 

Where you live is also a pivotal decision. Do you move out of state to the big city where you have more career options? Do you stay closer to your family even though your room for growth will be limited? Those are big factors to consider and even if you do choose the big city, will you be able to afford the cost of living there? Once you know the location you have to decide whether to buy or rent. It's not always a choice you get to make, many people are forced into renting especially in areas where housing costs are rising. 

Marriage 

Marriage is a big decision. If it doesn't work out you can get divorced and that isn't a shameful thing, but it can be complicated for finances as well as the emotions caught up in the process. Regardless of the outcome, if you choose to marry and who you choose to marry will have a massive impact on your life. 

Family 

Your decision to have a family or to not have a family is also something that will heavily impact your life. Adding children to the mix is perhaps one of the biggest life-changing events you can experience. The thing is, you won't really know whether it's the right decision for you until you're in it. 

There is no perfect time to have a family because if you wait for the perfect time, it will never come. When/If you choose to embark on the journey of parenthood, it will impact how you spend your time, your career, your vacation plans, and literally every aspect of your life. 

 

5 Ways To Make Decisions You Won't Regret

According to a study by the University of Massachusetts, "Decision making is the process of making choices by identifying a decision, gathering information, and assessing alternative resolutions." 

 

Daily, we make choices; everything we say and do is the consequence of a decision, whether we realize it or not. There is no simple formula for choosing the best option in each situation, big or small. 

 

Every decision we make contributes to the present state of affairs. It influences who we are as individuals since we routinely carry out our decisions without even knowing it. Good decision-making is a skill that must be acquired. 

 

It is not something we are born with but rather a step-by-step process that is generally learned via life experience. Now, let's look at the five different ways to making decisions you won't regret.

 

Identify Your Objectives

 

Keeping your focus on your objective is one of the most successful decision-making methods. Simply said, this involves determining the objective of your decision by asking yourself what issue needs to be addressed.

 

And why is it necessary to tackle this issue? It will be easier for you to make excellent judgments if you can figure out what is most important. When you understand why you've made a certain decision, you'll be better able to stick with it and fight for it.

 

Trust Your Instincts

 

We frequently take too long to decide because we are frightened of what will happen. Consequently, before making a decision, we go over issues like meticulous research, in-depth analysis, and pros and drawbacks. 

 

This whole process takes time. According to LifeHack "Instead, learn to trust your gut instinct. For the most part, your first instinct is usually the correct one or the one that you truly wanted to go with."

 

Consider The Implication Of Your Decisions

 

Considering the implications of your decisions is an important step since it allows you to go over the advantages and disadvantages of the many alternatives you mentioned in the previous step.

 

It's also crucial because you want to be confident with your options and the probable outcomes of whatever you decide. In this step, you'll ask yourself what the potential outcomes of your decision will be. What impact will it have now? What impact will it have on your future?

 

Speak To Loved Ones About Your Decisions

 

According to WebMD, "You are there to listen to and support your loved one, but you also need a support person. Talk openly and honestly with a friend or family member." Speaking to loved ones about what we're planning to do makes us more likely to follow through. 

 

Share the specifics of your decision, as well as any concerns you have about what may go wrong. Simply expressing your concerns about the decision may help you feel better, and your friend or family member may be able to provide you with helpful advice or encouraging words.

 

Carry Out Your Decision

 

Now that you have identified your objectives, considered the implications of your decisions, and spoken to someone, It's time to make a decision and put that decision into action. It's crucial to recognize that this step might generate a lot of worry for some individuals since you have to trust your instincts. 

 

If you want to create lasting changes in your life, you must make it a habit to follow your decisions. You will feel more secure in making the next decision you have in mind after going through this process so many times.

 

Summary

 

Life-changing decisions are more difficult to make, but you can have greater faith in yourself with these five bits of advice, even while making the most crucial decisions.

 

6 Reasons Your Choice Of Partner Will Be One Of The Most Important Decisions You Make

When you start dating someone, you hardly think of it as an impactful decision, but your choice of partner will be one of the most important decisions you make. It influences every part of you, from your happiness and success to your health and finances, as well as your family, friends, and your children too. It isn't a decision that you should take lightly. 

 

You want to choose someone who will bring out the best bits of you, someone who brings joy, who makes life easy just as you do for them. Your partner should contribute positively to your physical and emotional well-being. 

 

Often, people emphasize the practical aspects of selecting the correct partner. They are logical and practical, to consider income and profession, even sophistication and status. Logical, but what is good on paper is not always good in reality. 

 

Whereas some people focus on impractical traits like adventure, fun, and spontaneity. You can't get caught up on one or two things, you can't be all practical or all impractical, you have to strike a balance. Balance is what brings us success and ultimately, your heart and your head have to have a role in the decision-making process. 

Reason 1: This Is Your Career

 

Every part of your life will be impacted by your partner. You need to be with someone who respects you, who builds you up, highlights your ambitions, and pushes you to chase your dreams. You should be with someone who respects every part of you and you should offer the same in return. There shouldn't be jealousy over someone's career taking off when the other person's career isn't, everything you do is a team effort. 

 

Reason 2: This Is Your Happiness

 

The partner that you end up with will heavily influence your level of happiness. How happy are you going to be if you end up with the wrong person? Anyone who has lived with the wrong partner knows how much that can impact your happiness levels. 

 

While happiness isn't external and it has to come from inside you, your partner will influence your internal world more than you would care to admit. Only you can make yourself happy, but that doesn't mean others can't make you unhappy. 

Reason 3: This Is Your Love 

 

If someone is fine or they're nice to you, but that's all you have to say for them then what are you doing? You are going to make a life with your partner and someone being fine or nice is not enough to hold that together. Whether you're having children or not, there should be more to your relationship than that. 

 

Reason 4: This is Your Health 

 

There are plenty of articles about how marriage positively impacts your health, but I think it's important to highlight that it's happy marriages and I would suggest that extends to live-in relationships as well. 

 

In addition to your physical health, the right partner is good for your mental health too. In that, if you are dealing with stress or anxiety, a good partner will support you. Whereas a bad partner might be a contributing factor to your issues. 

Reason 5: This Is Your Co-Parent

If you plan to have children then your partner is going to be your co-parent, even if you break up down the line. They are going to be tied to you forever and it's important to consider what type of parent they would be. 

Reason 6: This Is Your Life 

The person you choose to spend your life with is going to be with you all the way through every step of life. If you can't imagine seeing them at your side for all of the milestones and failures then maybe you haven't met the right person.

 

6 Tips to Make Life Decisions Based on Your True Self and Your Needs and Desires

According to Psychology Today people often approach decision making from two main perspectives. The first is in reaction to familiar situations in which a person will often use instinct and experience to reach a quick decision.

The second is in reaction to a new situation in which a person must think more in depth and take more time. (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/decision-making). 

 

1. Visualize the Outcome

 

When faced with making a decision that will impact your future life it is important to deeply consider the ramifications. Try to envisage what will likely come of making this decision and determine if this outcome is what you would be happy with. Ask yourself if there is any chance that making this decision may lead to regret. 

 

2. Do Your Homework

 

A decision may seem logical and like it could make you happy based on your emotions and feelings but sometimes there is more to it. Once we make a decision there will be steps to take and things that need to be done. 

 

This is why we need to educate ourselves when making important decisions. There may be difficult steps ahead that require us to learn new skills or be ready to face daunting challenges. Research the important factors of your decision before you finally settle on this option. 

 

3. Weigh All of Your Options

 

You may have an option in front of you that seems like it will make all your dreams come true but is it the only one worth pursuing? The answer is, not always. The shiny object isn’t always gold, it's important to look critically at your options before settling on one course of action. 

 

There may be multiple paths to your goal, some may take longer but will be easier in the long run. Others may get you to your destination quickly but leave you drained, exhausted and regretting your decision. So always remember to weigh all of your options before diving on with the first that comes along. 

 

4. Prepare for Pushback

 

Sometimes when we do something for ourselves there may well be family or friends who disagree with your decision. In an ideal world everyone would support the decisions of others but the world is far from ideal. 

 

People may try to say the decision is wrong and attempt to make you change your mind. This may come from a place where they are concerned for you but it could also be jealousy or a need to try and control you.

 

It is important to be prepared that not everyone will agree with your choices in life. This may cause stress and strain on relationships. Ultimately though if you are making a decision that will lead to a better, more contented life for you and those you love then do not let the haters deter you. It’s okay to listen to advice because sometimes that is helpful but if all that is presented is criticism and no solutions this needs to be shut out. 

 

5. Be Willing to Alter Course

 

There may be bumps along the road so it is important to have flexibility in your decisions. Steel yourself that you may hit roadblocks but you can if you try to work around them. 

 

6. Trust Your Decisions

 

The final important tip to make positive life decisions that will be best for you is to trust yourself. It will take confidence and motivation to help you work toward your goal. Once you make your decision, come what may trust that you made the right choice.