Which Parental Approach Is the Best?

For first time parents, it becomes very difficult to choose among the various approaches at parenting that they hear. Some parents are quite strict with their children while others are more laidback. There are all kinds of parents, and to confuse matters more, there is no uniformity in the way their children grow up to be. Why, even within the same house, siblings can turn out to be radically different from each other! So, what form of parenting should you choose?

 

If you decide to be a very strict parent who puts a lot of restrictions on their children, the whole thing may backfire. Such forms of parenting worked in the medieval periods, when children didn’t know better. They weren’t exposed to anything apart from what went on in their own family and, of course, there was a much-stinted view of family values that let such behavior be accepted. Today’s children are better aware of what goes on around them. If parents are too restrictive, they may possibly rebel.

 

At the same time, it doesn’t work being a very laidback parent either. Children are going to pick up the wrong habits along the way and it becomes important to you to correct them. You may even have to admonish them at times. Fail at that, and the children may grow up to be wrong and then they may blame you for not showing them the right path.

 

Though there is nothing like a foolproof method of parenting, it is important to avoid the extremes. Don’t be too strict and don’t be too lenient either. You have to walk on the middle path. You have to show your children what’s wrong when they err and you have to reward them when they do something commendable. This is the form of parenting that you have to emulate. This is the most practical approach, the situation-based approach. You don’t decide in advance how you are going to react. You take things at a time and then you behave as per the situation. 

 

How to Develop Yourself as a Parent

You may be expecting too much from your children, want your children to do things in a particular way, but in that you may have lost sight of the most important fact. And that is, there might be shortcomings within you that are keeping you away from becoming a good parent. Are there any such pitfalls? You have to realize them when there is still time and improve upon them. This is what can keep you developing as a better parent.

 

Your children will try to emulate you, consciously and subconsciously. Many of their developmental aspects are going to depend on your personality. For example, if you behave in society in a particular way, your children are very likely to behave in the same manner as well. This is because of exposure. Children become like what they are exposed to because they don’t know of any other way. When they learn the options they have in later life, it is too late for them to change themselves. That is the reason why people from a family tend to behave in a similar manner.

 

There are many such traits that children directly or indirectly pick up from their parents. Some of these include honesty, diligence to work, way of interacting with people, money-mindedness, love and affection, behavior with friends, etc. Every minute of your life you are training your children on these aspects, and most times you don’t even realize you are.

 

For instance, if a storekeeper gives you some money by mistake and you return it, children learn the value of honesty. They understand that they should not keep what is not theirs. When they see you working hard, they realize that hard work is important. When they see you helping your friends, they realize friends are important. These are lessons you are giving out to your children at all times.

 

Hence, if you want your children to be better individuals, maybe you need to improve yourself first. When you work in these positive values within yourself, your children are going to see the results of those values, see that they are good, and then try to incorporate those values in their own lives. They are going to become better individuals just because their parents were better people. So, you know now where the real training for your child begins—within yourself as their parent. 

 

5 Parental Self-Improvement Tips

In your quest to become a better parent, you often tend to ignore the fact that it is self-improvement that is the priority. Improving your children comes next. Most people try to change their children, while what would probably be better in the long run is to improve their own personality.

 

If you are looking at being a better parent yourself, then these are five important things that you should not ignore at all.

 

Learning from Mistakes

 

Parents must have the elegance to learn from their mistakes. When you are with your children, you are going to have several situations when things don’t work your way. At such times, your children are looking at you, learning from you. They are seeing how you handle the situation. Do you learn anything from it and put in a better effort? If you do, if you learn from your failings, then your children are subconsciously going to pick the habit as well.

 

A Thirst for Knowledge

 

Most parents want their children to be the most knowledgeable people on earth, but what do they do to gain knowledge themselves? You have to keep learning. Whenever something new happens, make an effort to know about it. Emphasize on the importance of knowing all you can. This is what sets your children going. They also get this insatiable craving for knowledge and that stays with them for life.

 

Being Social and Sociable

 

Children learn from their parents by observing them. How are you socially? Are you concerned about the people around you? Do you behave well in public? When you do that, your children are sure to follow in your footsteps. But if you are gregarious, a nuisance to others, thinking too much about yourself, then your children are going to think this is acceptable behavior.

 

Not Expecting Too Much

 

To avoid hurt, parents must refrain from building too many expectations from their kids. Children are going to be what they want to be; they will be individuals in their own right. Parents can only lead them to a distance; they cannot go all the way with them. And the root cause of parental hurt is over-expectation. Don’t expect your children to live in a particular way and you will be happier.

 

Relationship with Your Partner

 

The most important thing is that you have to be loving and caring towards your partner. This has a very deep influence on your child’s life. If you are affectionate to your partner, your child will learn what love is. Try building on this relationship at all times. It is probably the most important education you are giving your child.

 

Parenting—What to Expect from Your Children

A large share of all parental torment stems from belied expectations. Parents tend to expect a lot from their children as they are growing up. They want their children to be at the head of the class, win awards in sports, excel at their college studies, bag the best job possible, get a life partner that they approve of, have exactly the right number of children according to their ideas and so on. At every step of the way, parents hold expectations from their children. And when these expectations are belied—which is bound to happen if there are so many of them—the parental hurt begins.

 

When a person holds a child—their own child—for the first time, the feeling that generally crosses their mind is that they want to turn these children into spitting images of themselves. Most times, they want to transform these children into what they couldn’t become in life. Within those brief minutes of their first encounter with their children, most parents map out an entire lifetime for them… right from the way they will give the children their first room in the house to the time they will build their own household in their later life.

 

But this is where parents sow the seeds of troubles in their later life. If you expect too much from your children, you are simply bracing yourself to face the hurt later on. And it is not fair on your children as well.

 

The one thing—and the most important thing—that you have to keep in mind is that your children are not extensions of yourself. They are independent people. They have their own personalities. They have their own likes and dislikes. They have an opinion about everything. And all of these things may be different from what you have.

 

You give an education to your child. You give them the things they want to survive in life. You find out what talents they have and then give them the avenues to explore them more. You give them financial security in their lives. You monitor them so that they don’t fall into bad habits and ruin their lives. You teach them values. You show them what’s right and what’s wrong. You teach them to be independent.

 

But, it would be very wrong if you let them depend on you for their entire lives. Once you have handheld them through their younger days, there comes a time when you should let them go ahead in the world. Let them stumble and get up themselves if they have to. Let them find out things, the way you did.

 

The key is to not expect more from your children. They are individuals too, and as their life with catch up with them, they will have similar limitations and constraints as you have today. Despite meaning well, they may not be able to demonstrate their love and affection for you.

 

But let this not hamper your parental love for them. This is the way it should be, the way nature has ordained it to be. 

 

Parenting—What to Give to Your Children

When you are a parent, you have to shoulder a lot of responsibilities, one of the most important of which is raising your child. Anyone starting out as a parent has a lot of hopes and expectations… they want to be able to give their children the best they can and they hope to make their children better than anyone else’s have ever been. This is a common idea that all parents have. But, somewhere along the way, compromises begin. Parents begin to see that their children aren’t turning out to be the best in everything like they hoped for. And what torments the parents the most is that they believe they are giving their children every facility they would need.

 

If you want to be a happy, satisfied parent, then you should know what you should give your children and within what limits.

 

The best parent isn’t one who has been able to give every commodity under the sun to their kids. Your parenting isn’t measured by the things you give to your children. You should understand that the love you get from your children is beyond material goods.

 

Instead of buying the most expensive toy in the store for your kid, if you spend some time playing with them in the park, it would be appreciated more by the children. Most parents kick-start the toy habit in children themselves by giving them toys initially. Now, that doesn’t mean that you have to stop giving toys to your children altogether, but don’t make it a habit that the child depends on for happiness. When you are giving a toy to your child, also make sure that you can sit down and play with your child for a while.

 

The best thing that the child can want from you when they are young is your company. They want you to tell them how to do everything and they can take on from there by themselves. You have to be their guide in their younger years. This is more important than giving them material things such as food, clothes and toys.

 

At the same time, it becomes your responsibility to help them enrich their skills, talents and intelligence. Just going to a school is not enough. You have to keep abreast of their special gifts. Can your child sing very well? Or are they very good in some particular sport? What are you doing about it? It is an important—though oftentimes ignored—parental responsibility to give children the things they need to hone their talents. Your child shouldn’t grow up and say that they could become the next Picasso but their parents never let them hold a paintbrush in their hands.

 

Then there is security too. Whether you save money in your kid’s name or buy insurance plans that are customized for their needs, it does not matter, but you need to give them some financial stability as they are growing up. This helps you cope with their ever-increasing demands as well.

 

These are the things you have to be worried about. Parenting is not about giving children the best of toys; it is their enrichment that you have to aim for. 

 

Parenting Is a Mutual Joy and a Combined Job

It is rightly said that the true worth of any person is adjudged only when that person becomes a parent. And, parenting is a shared responsibility. It is to be done by two people, who have committed to be with each other and add to the joys of each other. When you decide to become parents, you are significantly adding to that joy… probably this is the most joyful thing that the two of you will ever do together.

 

The child who is coming into your lives needs love from both of you. Hence, a very important thing to do during the long wait of pregnancy—a wait that has been intelligently devised by nature itself—is that you have to try and reinforce those commitments that you made with your partner. You have to repair the relationship if anything had gone astray come closer together. As it is, the very fact that you are sharing the joy of bringing someone into this world helps bring drifting couples closer. But you have to let that happen.

 

One of the important things to remember is that you shouldn’t expect too much from your partner. Whether you are going to be the father or the mother, you shouldn’t lean too much on the other person. Apart from the biological responsibilities, which are ordained by nature itself, there are no other set responsibilities in parenthood. So, there is no reason why the father shouldn’t change the baby’s diapers or prepare the formula. Similarly, there is no reason why the mother shouldn’t take the baby for their vaccination shots and bear the medical expenses. It is all about shared responsibilities, and there is no demarcation as to who does what in the relationship.

 

You will achieve true parental joy only when you perform parental jobs without complaining about them. Make sure you add parenting to your list of priorities—this is something you will have to do apart from your work and social obligations, whether you are the father or the mother. Most importantly, look into your partner’s eyes when you speak with them. They have experienced new joy as well. If you learn to be happy in their happiness, you are on the right path to building a very contented family. 

 

Important Things to Do During Pregnancy Months

You have been blessed with the greatest blessing a human can ever get… that of becoming a mother. You are nurturing a life within you, and you are suddenly feeling more important than you ever felt. You are now not alone. Soon you are going to bring another individual into this world and you want to ensure the best for them.

 

A lot of expecting mothers all over the world are undergoing different kinds of trainings right from the time they know that they are holding an embryo inside them. In some parts of the world, especially in the developed countries, such training is necessitated by law. However, it is your moral responsibility as well. And, apart from undergoing all those baby orientation classes, there are several other things you should do as well.

 

Here is a list of things you have to pay absolute attention to in your pregnancy months.

 

Eat Well

 

If you are a careless eater, you cannot afford that habit anymore. One of the first things you will need to do is to make your diet healthier. And, that too, you will have to improve your diet not just for yourself but for the baby within you as well. You will be recommended an elaborate dietary regimen by your doctor and you will have to follow it. Apart from that, you will be given various supplements as well.

 

Take All Medicines

 

Pregnancy nowadays involves a battery of medicines. They will be recommended to you by your doctor and you will have to follow them diligently. If you have any medical condition that could jeopardize the baby’s health, you should tell the doctor about that in advance so that the doctor can put you on some kind of preventive program.

 

Exercise

 

You cannot do vigorous exercise when you are expecting. But you can at least try some stretching exercises such as Pilates so as to keep your limbs in perfect working order. It is not recommended to sleep your way through your pregnancy. This will only worsen your health when you eventually have the baby.

 

Read and Entertain Yourself

 

Make sure to spend a good amount of time enriching your mind. You could do this by reading good books, watching nice movies, listening to classic music and so on. Everything that you do right now helps in the overall development of the fetus within your body as well.

 

Meditate

 

Meditation through Yoga is highly recommended when you are pregnant. This helps you keep your mind under better control and you can become a better mother later on.

 

Keep that Flame of Love Burning!

 

All through your pregnancy, realize one important thing. This baby is something that belongs to you as well as your partner. It is his joy as well. At the same time, you shouldn’t let the incoming baby weaken the relationship the two of you have. Make a conscious effort of reassuring your partner that you love him, and accept what he does in reciprocation. 

 

How to Know You Are Ready to Become a Parent

When you have had a relationship with someone for a few years, you might want to take things to the next level… that of becoming a parent. Now, though this may be making you very excited, there are those jitters too. How do you know you are ready to become a parent? What should you base your decision on?

 

First and foremost, you need to think how well your relationship has shaped up to be. The person who will also become a parent with you—your partner—how is your relationship with them? Do you understand each other well? Is your partner also looking for becoming a parent? Parenting works well only if it is a mutual decision. Yes, there is a trend of becoming single parents nowadays, but that isn’t half as easy as sharing parenting responsibilities with someone.

 

Second, look at your financial situation. Are you capable right now to assume the financial responsibilities of an additional person in the house? This looks like an obvious thing that people will definitely think about, but it is surprising to see how many people ignore to do so, or at least undermine the financial aspect. Babies are extremely expensive to look after. Just their diapers will mean an additional $8,000 to $10,000 or more per year. No kidding!

 

Then, there is the fact that you will have to give your new member time. You will have to handle them, talk with them, feed them, clean them, clothe them, train them, look after their medical needs, spend sleepless nights in trying to make them sleep and so on. Are you ready to bear such drastic changes to your life? Are you willing to give everything else a backseat to look after your baby?

 

Also, you need to be spiritually and mentally prepared. You have you give your baby good values, make them trained in your religion, educate them to become responsible people in later lives and so on. You cannot do this unless you are in the right frame of mind yourself. Hence, you do need to see whether you are psychologically prepared too.

 

Just wanting a baby is not enough. They look very cute when they are cleaned and clothed and are sleeping in their prams, but only their parents (or nannies) know the troubles that go into coercing the baby to dress up and sleep in their prams. Realize that part of parenting, and knowledgeably take the decision. That’s the best way, and the only way there is. 

 

How to Find Time to Do Things You Want despite Your Busy Schedule

One common complaint in today’s world is that we are just too busy to find time for the things that we really like to do. We are too consumed by our work hours and then by our responsibilities towards family and society that we get very little time for personal enrichment of any kind. We don’t find time to pursue a hobby, for example, or to go on a holiday or maybe to just go for a walk.

 

However, if we managed things in a better way, we could be able to find time for the things that we like to do. It is all about proper management.

 

Set Priorities

 

What are the most important things for you? Yes, you need to be good at your job and your wife and children need you, but don’t you have a responsibility towards yourself as well? We are not asking you to become selfish, but when you are spending the better part of your day at work and a significant amount of time each day performing your various other obligations, shouldn’t you spare an hour or two at least once every two days for your personal gratification? Remember that improving self is extremely vital.

 

What Is It You Would Like to Do?

 

Decide what you want to do with the time you get for yourself. Are you going to enrich it in some way? You may be planning to do something creative or just thinking of entertaining your mind so that you become more productive. When you know what you are going to do with your time, that in itself becomes an incentive. For instance, if you think that you will watch a movie when you are free, the movie itself becomes the incentive. You work faster so that you make sure to free up some time to watch it.

 

Make a Commitment

 

Just as you commit to perform all your other jobs, make a commitment to yourself as well. Commit that you will spend 1 hour each day on enriching yourself. This time could be when you return home from your office and want to just relax, or an hour before going to be or an hour in the early morning. But, promise to yourself that you will spend an hour on self-improvement and stick to that religiously.

 

Ask Others

 

Ask people you trust what changes they want to see in you. Ask them what they think you are good at. These are people you trust, people who don’t have any ulterior motives when they are talking with you. They will tell you the truth about what they want you to do. They will tell you to improve on your talents, to spend time for yourself and do what you are best at. When you find people telling you such things, you start making a conscious effort to spend time on yourself.

 

How to Impress People at the First Meeting—5 Tips

Creating a good first impression is considered to be a very difficult thing, something that only a few people are good at. Maybe you find it difficult too. After all, is there a way to enamor someone in the brief period of the first meeting? Well, the truth is that it is, otherwise there wouldn’t be the concept of favorable first impressions at all! Read on to find out what you can do.

 

Be Confident about Yourself

 

The first thing is that you shouldn’t be jittery. Don’t be nervous when you are meeting someone for the first time. They are also people like you and probably they are also uneasy at having to meet you. When you think that way, you feel easier about your meeting with them.

 

Say Something Meaningful

 

Your first words will always be remembered. Hence, you need to say something that’s smart and relevant. It is all right if you speak slowly, but weigh your words and say the right thing. Your speech is the most important part of the favorable first impression.

 

Be a Better Listener than a Talker

 

People don’t like those who talk much, but at the same time they want someone to listen to them. Remember this basic human trait and play on it! When you are meeting someone, especially for the first time, listen more than you talk. If the other person is talking about themselves, listen to it with full attention. Punctuate the conversation with meaningful questions that shows your concern and interest. This is a sure way of getting into the good books of someone you meet for the first time.

 

Be Caring

 

Even within that brief first interlude, you can be caring. The way you hear other people out is a method of showing that you care. There are other means too, and they will present themselves along the way. Follow all rules of etiquette, especially if you are with a lady. Even in your talks, be compassionate and show that you care for people.

 

Smile

 

This is the cheapest ornament you can wear. Flaunt it! But, your smile should not be forced. It should be a breezy, natural smile that doesn’t put the other person off. Don’t smile too much too, and know when to smile and when not to… the rest will all work out quite fine.

 

So, implement these five suggestions and see how you can charm people the first time you meet them. Of course, this needs practice and an earnest desire to impress that person. Without either, you won’t be able to achieve what you want to. 

 

Why Regular Exercise Is Such an Important Aspect of Personal Development

If you are on a quest to try and improve yourself, then you certainly cannot ignore one of the chief aspects of personal development—exercise. You must have already heard the adage A Healthy Mind in a Healthy Body. If you want to be really fit and become a successful person, your body has to be just as fit as your mind is. Undermining any of these aspects takes you away from developing your body fruitfully.

 

There are several benefits of regular exercise that are specific to personal development, as you shall see…

 

1.  When your body is fitter, you look more attractive. A lot of people still equate good personality with an attractive body. Hence, you are pandering to one of the basest definitions of personal development. And, who’s complaining actually? Who doesn’t want to have an attractive body anyway?

 

2.  A healthier body means that you have more energy to accomplish things. You are able to work faster and produce better results. You can go ahead of your competitors. This you won’t be able to do if you lack stamina and get breathless on your way to the top. A modicum of exercise is needed to keep you moving on.

 

3.  Another very important benefit of regular exercise is that it keeps diseases away if not completely avoids them. You don’t need to call in sick as much as a person who doesn’t exercise would. You are healthier not only in body but also in mind, and that’s the reason why you can think better. Your plans and suggestions have a better chance of being accepted because you have formulated them in good health, something that your exercise-shirking rivals have not done.

 

4.  Exercise helps free up your mind. If you haven’t exercised already, try it now. Exercise early in the mornings, which is the best time. Even if you just work out on the treadmill for 15 minutes in the morning, you will feel rejuvenated. You will feel as though you can just run out and grab what you want to achieve. Also, it gives you time to think, to plan out things, which is very important. While the blood is pumping in the body, it is pumping in the brain as well. It is filling up those little grey cells and ideas are generated.

 

These are just four of the many benefits that regular exercise has. Invest your time wisely in exercise—if you are looking for personal development, you cannot afford to downplay its importance in your life. 

 

Finding Inspiration and Motivation in Life

You already realize the fact that life is all about progress. Even if you are doing great right now, it won’t help if you keep doing the same thing 5 years hence. You have to keep improving upon yourself and constantly seek challenges and face them. This is the only thing that keeps you going on. However, to be able to do that, you need inspiration in your life. You also need motivation. An inspiration is something that sparks your life with excitement; motivation is something that gives you the energy to keep moving.

 

So, where do you go to find these two fundamental ingredients for your success?

 

One of the best places to begin is your neighborhood bookstore. Visit there and check out the books in the nonfiction section. You are likely to find a whole lot of books about people in your industry who have made it to the top. Most of these people will be already known to you. Pick out the person who interests and intrigues you the most and head back home. Then start reading their story. You will see that it was no easy task for them either. Regardless of what success they achieved in their later life, they began in a very ordinary way… maybe you are in the same situation right now as they began with.

 

Reading such stories can be highly motivating. You get a blow-by-blow account of how they made it to the top. You get something to move on with. Most importantly, you gain an optimistic view of life. With a little more analysis into their lives, these famous luminaries could be your inspirations, your role models.

 

Another very important thing you should do is to always keep a steadfast focus on what you want to achieve. Set your goals and write them down. Then, determine yourself to follow these goals, come what may. Promise yourself that you will not let anything sway you from the path. When you are totally devoted to the results, then ways of how to get there automatically start becoming visible to you.

 

This is how you gain your motivation and inspiration. When you get your motivation, you get this unstoppable and impatient energy to get on with the work. You just cannot wait anymore. And when inspiration happens, you hear a click somewhere. Something suddenly snaps into place. You know this is what you want to follow, and your success almost becomes visible to you. 

 

How Can You Think Positively Even Though Everything Around You Is In Turmoil

Whatever you have tried lately has backfired. Things have definitely not gone according to plan. You are at the end of your tether, you simply don’t know what you can do to make things right. And, still, people around you tell you to think positively. Even the Internet self-help gurus tell you that. Probably even you realize that you have to be optimistic, but in the current scenario which is completely bleak, how can you do that?

 

The truth is that even in the grimmest of situations, it is possible to keep hope afloat. You can think positively, though it is not an easy task. Let’s talk here about some ways how you can do that.

 

First, you need to learn to separate the problem from the person, which is you. You have to understand that the problem could have happened with anyone; you are not limited in any way. It is just that you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. When you begin to understand the universality of a problem, it slowly begins to seem less harmful.

 

The next step is to try and analyze what went wrong. Why did you succumb to such a situation? What was the precipitating factor? When you think about this, slowly a picture begins to emerge. You begin to understand what you can do to solve the problem that you are facing.

 

When you are going through difficult times, however difficult they might be, the key lies in the solution… the things you can do to eliminate the problem itself. When you understand what you can do to improve your situation, you start becoming optimistic. You have a solution in your hands now, and that makes you better equipped to face the situation that’s staring you in the face.

 

Always keep your focus on the results. What will be the outcome of staying depressed and just blaming everyone possible for your situation? On the other hand, what will be the outcome of cheering up and trying to confront the situation? The latter option will probably remedy the problem itself. That is what you should go after, and not sit and brood over what could have happened.

 

Most importantly, remember that life has to move on. There is nothing in the world that’s worth sitting and brooding over. Even the people who sit and sympathize with you today won’t appreciate it if you don’t pull yourself together soon. They might just walk out on you. That would simply aggravate matters.

 

The key to solving any problem lies in positive thinking. Accept its power and implement it in your daily life. That’s the only thing that keeps you moving on. 

 

Benefits of Positive Thinking

You must have heard a lot being said about the power of positive thinking. Even the very famous Law of Attraction which has been immortalized in the book The Secret speaks about the power of optimism. The law goes as far as to say that if you think positively about something with complete devotion, then even nature changes its plans to make it happen for you. That may be well be true because if you have a very positive thought about something, you are going to consciously or subconsciously take some actions in order to fulfill it. You may not even know that you are doing something for your wish fulfillment. And, when you are planning things in a particular direction, things begin to take the shape you want.

 

That apart, there are several other benefits of positive thinking that you may not have given much thought to. Here are some of them.

 

1.  When you divest yourself in thinking positively, people consider you to be better company. Who would anyway want to be with someone who is always shrouded in the cloak of pessimism? Pessimism is infectious; it doesn’t just pull you down, but it dampens the spirits of the people who are with you too. Hence, if you think too negatively, people are not going to want to associate themselves with you.

 

2.  Positive thinking can make you cheerful. Try it the next time you are going through a rough patch. Forgetting the turbulent times you are in, think optimistically about the future. And think hard. You will find that sooner or later you are able to shun the thought of debility and surge ahead. You cannot completely forget the gravity of the situation, but at least you become more gracious in handling it.

 

3.  Also, positive thinking keeps you moving on. Pessimism can make you depressed and you lose your strength to move on. You begin wallowing with self-pity and do nothing to improve the situation. You begin blaming yourself and others. Nothing constructive is done when you waste your time thinking negatively. Such waste is criminal. But, if you begin to think positively, you can get up again and move on.

 

4.  If you want to have an impressive personality, a personality that can inspire people, then you have to start thinking positively. When you do that, you are motivating people; you are showing qualities of leadership. This is what people like to see and admire.

 

So, do not undermine the power of positive thinking. This is something that can take you places that you never thought existed before.