Baggage Be Gone: How To Let Go Of Emotional Weight

Per Sabrina Romanoff, a clinical psychologist, in an article published in Very Well Mind, emotional baggage “...refers to unfinished emotional issues, stressors, pain, and difficulties we’ve experienced that continue to take up space in our minds and affect our present relationships”

 

In other words, the psychological wounds we carry prevent us from living peacefully. Worse, emotional baggage can lead to ongoing stress and depression, and even begin to create physical issues. It’s not uncommon for people with lots of emotional baggage to experience panic attacks, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, and insomnia. 

 

Though we all carry some sort of emotional baggage throughout our lives, the happiest people are those who learn to control their emotional baggage instead of allowing it to control them. Of course, this is easier said than done. 

 

However, we have some helpful tips on how to let go of the emotional weight so you can start living freely. 

 

Identify What Caused It

 

Think of addressing your emotional baggage like mold remediation. Though your goal is to treat the mold, you first have to identify what caused it because it doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. The same concept applies to this. 

 

If you carry guilt or commitment issues - two very common types of emotional weight - then it’s not enough to just accept what happened or just jump into a relationship to prove you’re okay. Doing so may lead to temporary satisfaction, but nothing sustainable. Instead, you need to figure out why these feelings exist. Like the mold, you have to get down to the real cause and treat that before you can address anything else. 

 

For example, the root cause of commitment issues could be anything from fear of rejection or abandonment that stems from childhood or having experienced abuse in a previous relationship. By identifying the root cause, you can then address its symptoms.

 

Seek Therapy 

 

If you’re dealing with an emotional weight that’s beginning to get too heavy to carry, then one way you can start to let go is by letting someone else help you with the load. One way to do this is by seeking the guidance and support of a licensed therapist.

 

In therapy, you can address your past and how it’s currently infringing on your life. Furthermore, you’ll get a chance to address what you don’t like about the baggage, which can help motivate you to unpack it. 

 

Though therapy has become a little more expensive in recent years, there are affordable options through apps like BetterHelp. Many therapists also work on a sliding scale or even on a pro bono basis, so don’t be afraid to ask about those options. 

 

Learn to Sit With Uncomfortable Emotions

 

One of the main reasons why we tend to hold onto emotional baggage is because we don’t take the time to process it. 

 

Though everyone has their coping mechanisms, it’s never healthy to avoid your emotions or try pushing them under the rug. Even if you do that - and think things are okay for a little while - they will eventually pop up again the next time you encounter a similar emotion or situation. 

 

A good example would be grief. If you don’t take the time to feel sad and angry, you may not be equipped to take care of yourself or be a strong support system for others when they, too, eventually encounter loss. 

 

It’s going to be uncomfortable but sit with your sadness when you start feeling sad. Cry when you feel like crying. Scream when you feel angry. Starting out, and to make this easier, you can even set a timer so you’re only dealing with these negative emotions within a window you feel comfortable with. 

 

When you do this, you take the power back from these emotions, so they no longer control you. With enough practice and time, you’ll be able to encounter a sad moment instead of allowing the emotional weight of a trigger to ruin your entire day. 

 

These are just a few of the best ways you can begin to let go of emotional baggage. While we all have emotional weight, you don’t have to let it rule over you. There’s a grace in allowing yourself to be human and remember that what words or actions hurt you in the past don’t have to be your identifiers forever. 

 

15 Super Weight Loss Tips

I’m sure that over the years we’ve all heard our own share of unrealistic and ineffective weight loss advice. From detox diets to spot-reduction exercises and even supposedly nifty things like magic pills or slimming wraps. But the truth is that these fad diets and gadgets barely work, and even if they do the results aren’t long-term. 

 

The key to losing weight is to do it in a healthy manner, that doesn’t do you more harm than good. Here are 15 tried and tested tips that can aid you in this difficult journey. 

 

1. Control Your Portions

 

Starving yourself is never the answer but a little psychological warfare never hurt anyone. Trick your mind into thinking you’re eating more by dividing your meals into smaller portions. So, instead of eating 3 large meals per day, have smaller portions 5 times instead. 

 

2. Skip Out on Seconds

 

Pay special attention to serving sizes on nutrition labels and stop yourself from reaching out for a round of seconds. Having 5 meals a day can effectively solve this problem by ensuring that you don’t go hungry again soon after lunch or dinner. 

 

3. Curate a Diet Consisting of High-fiber and Lean Protein 

 

Fiber is your biggest weight loss ally and lean protein helps you maintain your muscle mass and control your appetite. Incorporate foods that are high in fiber, like fruits, vegetables, and whole-grain, and foods that are rich in lean protein, like chicken, fish, and tofu into your diet. 

 

4. Snack Smartly 

 

If you need to snack between meals, choose healthy, portion-controlled options. Nutrient-dense snacks like mixed nuts, fruit, or yogurt can keep you satisfied and energized without adding additional calories to your diet. 

 

5. Beware of Liquid Calories

 

Calorie-laden beverages like sugary sodas, fruit juices, and high-calorie coffee drinks can add empty calories to your diet without providing the feeling of fullness that solid foods offer. It’s better to stop consuming them if you’re trying to lose weight. 

 

6. Keep Your Body Hydrated

 

Did you know that your body can actually confuse being thirsty with being hungry, causing you to overeat? To prevent this from happening, stay hydrated throughout the day. In addition to that, drink a glass of water before meals to curb your appetite and reduce calorie intake. 

 

7. Make Exercise a Priority 

 

Eating healthy can only get you so far. You have to stay active and work out regularly to lose weight. Try to incorporate at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise in your daily routine. Remember that consistency is key, and it will take a few weeks before you see any results. 

 

8. Get Adequate Sleep

 

A poor sleeping schedule leads to late night cravings which in turn results in further weight gain. Getting quality sleep is essential for weight loss. Try to get at least 7 to 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep every day. 

 

9. Be Mindful when Eating 

 

When you eat while watching the tv or using your smartphone you’re unable to appreciate your meals and get hungry soon after. Eating mindfully means that you savor each bite of your food and feel fulfilled after the meal. 

 

10. Meal Prep in Advance

 

When you’re unsure of what to eat, you can end up making impulsive and unhealthy choices. This is why it’s better to meal prep for the whole week in advance. This can save you lots of time and effort, especially on days when you feel low on energy. 

 

11. Avoid Crash Diets

 

If you have a big event coming soon then you might be tempted to start a crash diet to make sure you fit into that new dress you bought. But trust me, these diets are unsustainable and can also lead to nutritional deficiencies and a range of adverse health effects. Avoid them at all costs.

 

12. Track Your Progress

 

Monitoring the daily progress that you make. Keep a food and exercise journal to stay on top of your routines. Smartphone apps can help you track your calorie intake and workouts with ease. Seeing the progress, you’re making gives a sense of fulfillment and motivation to continue. 

 

13. Celebrate the Small Achievements

 

Weight loss is a journey full of milestones. Reward yourself whenever you hit one to keep the motivation going. Whether it’s treating yourself to a slice of your favorite chocolate cake or ordering some takeout. A cheat meal once in a while doesn’t hurt anyone. 

 

14. Cultivate a Body Positivity Mindset

 

Negative self-talk can hinder your progress and motivation. Practice loving yourself and your body. Replace self-criticism with self-encouragement and affirmations to feel good about yourself.

 

15. Share Your Weight Loss Journey with Others

 

Sharing your weight loss journey with others can not only make it easier, but also provide valuable encouragement and accountability. Join a weight loss support group or enlist a workout buddy to boost your motivation.

 

Conclusion

 

It’s important to remember that there's no one-size-fits-all approach to weight loss. Find the tips that work best for you and make them a part of your daily routine. These 15 tips are just the starting point for your own journey of self-discovery, leading to a healthier and fitter you. 

 

Self-Parenting 101

Self-parenting, self-love, and self-care go hand in hand. All three are there to help you make conscious decisions and allow you to take better care of yourself.

 

After doing a lot of internal work, I now have a clearer vision of why we need to practice good self-parenting. The problem is that many people feel this type of self-care is shallow or selfish. But that couldn’t be further from the truth!

 

Below are some self-parenting 101 tips and tricks that can help ensure that you always prioritize what you need to thrive and lead a fulfilling life.

 

Let’s get started.

 

What Is Self-Parenting?

 

In short, self-parenting is a type of focused care that involves healthy living patterns and positive daily habits. It puts a spotlight on the things that truly matter in your life, like sleep, nourishment, and security.

 

Yet, while those are all great ways to manage your overall health, self-parenting takes it a step further.

 

At its core, self-parenting is how you can fulfill unmet needs lingering from your childhood. It’s a way to tone down your inner critic, which is actually a culmination of voices that you’ve internalized and now believe as your own.

 

As a result, you learn how to listen more to your emotions and thoughts. You become more compassionate towards who you are as a person, and you allow yourself to feel worthy and seen.

 

It does this by providing new experiences that can lead to more satisfying behavior and a more positive effect, thus helping you create better outcomes in your life.

 

5 Self-Parenting Tips

 

In my search for ways of being a better parent to myself, I looked at some of the ways good parents care for their kids. Then, I used them to create an outline that adults can apply to themselves to enhance their inner parent.

 

Take a look.

 

Accept Your Emotions

 

Feelings help us define what’s happening so we can articulate our thoughts and act accordingly. When children have intense feelings, it can sometimes be overwhelming. If we’re not taught at a young age how to deal with those big, scary emotions, we still won’t be able to deal with them as adults.

 

This is where self-parenting can really help. Tell yourself that it’s okay to have feelings, no matter how big or small.

 

More importantly, avoid making yourself feel guilty or ashamed about feeling a certain way. Instead, learn how to make the most of these feelings to better understand what you’re going through and help yourself move forward.

 

Set Healthy Boundaries

 

When your life has clearly defined expectations, you can safely navigate and explore within those boundaries. So, make it super clear what you expect of yourself and your life.

 

Yet, we’re trained to listen to our elders and to behave properly. Then, we grow up and we fear what will happen if we assert our needs as adults. So, we put everyone’s needs before our own to avoid rejection.

 

However, with boundaries, you have the power. It may sting a bit if someone rejects you for saying no for whatever reason. But you’ll survive and you’ll come out stronger and more confident.

 

Have Reasonable Expectations

 

Write down realistic goals for the year ahead. Start with long-term goals, then break them down into monthly, weekly, and daily objectives.

 

Working down from larger to more manageable short-term goals will give you a sense of accomplishment. Plus, it helps you focus on what you have to do and avoid feeling hurt or helpless.

 

Remind yourself to be proud of your commitment to do the work. And each time you achieve something on our list, reward yourself. Then, after each one, think about setting new goals that can help you achieve more in your personal and professional life.

 

Create a Regular Routine

 

Knowing that you’ll be doing certain things at certain times is one of the best self-parenting techniques ever! Having a routine helps prepare you for what’s ahead so you can have time to adjust and react accordingly. It also teaches you responsibility, leadership, and discipline.

 

For example, one of the first things experts will advise you to do is to go to bed at a specific time each night. Not only that, but you need to create a nightly ritual to help you unwind and relax at the end of the day.

 

Start by turning off all screens 30–60 minutes before bedtime and dim the lights. You can bring an enjoyable book to read. Or you can play some soft music to ease you into sleep mode and reduce any nighttime jitters you may have.

 

Know Your Core Values

 

Adults who come from neglectful homes are often not taught morals when they were children. So, as your self-parent, it’s up to you to determine what it takes to become a helpful, empathetic member of your community.

 

You also have to learn the importance of respecting yourself and others, as well as being honest and trustworthy. And the best way to do that is by finding out what your core values are.

 

One thing you can do to appreciate the role that helping others has in your life is to volunteer at a local shelter or community center. Even a simple gesture, holding the door for someone or smiling at a stranger, can do miracles for your self-esteem.

 

7 Action Steps To Maximize Your Potential

Maximizing your potential means being more productive and having the ability to flourish in most situations. The basis is to understand your goals and be persistent in achieving them. It requires time, effort, dealing with obstacles, and taking risks to achieve the result. However, the benefits are powerful. Following are seven steps that you can take to maximize your full potential.

 

Step 1: Define Your Goals

When people have defined goals to achieve, they have a roadmap for pursuing their objectives and dreams. The first step is to think about what you want to accomplish in your life, whether it be short or long-term. Goals should be realistic. For example, if your goal is to become a professional actor, but you have no experience, your chances of success are low and can lead to disappointment. On the other hand, realistic goals would be to take classes and perform in local community theater to gain experience.

 

• Make a list of goals that motivate you.
• Evaluate each goal and define the steps needed to achieve the goal.
• Set a completion due date for each step within a goal.
• Monitor your progress.

 

Step 2: Develop a Growth Mindset

People with a growth mindset are optimistic and embrace challenges. Other characteristics include:

 

• Acknowledging areas of self-weakness
• Learning to listen to constructive criticism
• Focusing on the process, not the result 
• Being motivated by the success of others
• Knowing that failure is an opportunity to grow
• Never giving up when things are difficult
• Thinking of learning as an opportunity to exercise the brain

 

Step 3: Journal Your Thoughts and Ideas

Keeping a journal enhances self-growth and can lead you to maximize your potential. Journaling has numerous benefits, such as boosting creativity, improving mental health, and motivating you to achieve goals.

 

• Think about your feelings and write them in your journal.
• Evaluate the triggers for each feeling – what happened that caused the feeling?
• Assess your emotions – for example, were you angry, sad, or embarrassed?
• Examine each scenario for lessons learned – what can you do better in the future?

 

Step 4: Embrace Mistakes

 

Everyone makes mistakes occasionally. When you make an error, you have an opportunity for personal growth by exploring what went wrong and how it happened. The lessons learned will help you to prevent the same mistake in the future. 

 

Step 5: Opportunities and Risk

 

As you work toward maximizing your potential, you may encounter risks. Assume that you have a limited budget to achieve your goal. There is a risk that you could run out of money to bring your objective to a successful conclusion. This may cause you to worry excessively about the risk, distracting you and decreasing productivity. You might feel like giving up.

 

Avoid worrying about risks by identifying the types of risks that could occur. Evaluate each risk and how to mitigate it: accept, avoid, reduce, or transfer it. Learn more about Risk Management at Coursera.

 

Step 6: Practice Self-Care

 

When you feel good mentally and physically, you may reap the benefits of increased motivation, adaptability to changes and coping with difficult situations, reduced stress, a sense of well-being and happiness, and more. 

 

Start your self-care journey by eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep. 

 

Step 7: Manage Your Time

In today’s hectic world, it feels as though there is never enough time to do everything. Don’t let that be a blocker to reaching your full potential. Following are several time management tips to help you make the most of your time.

 

• Plan Ahead: The evening before, plan for the next day. Make your to-do list and prioritize each task. Remove tasks that are not essential or delay low-priority tasks to another day.
• Minimize Interruptions: Set a “do not disturb” time each day. During that time, find a quiet place and temporarily ignore social media, phone calls, texts, and emails. Share your boundaries with those you know so they are aware. You’ll accomplish more in less time without unnecessary interruptions.

 

Conclusion

 

Being your best self requires knowing your goals and making a lifelong commitment to learning. It takes time and practice to improve yourself; the benefits are vast. When you maximize your potential, you have a vision for your life and are on the road to success! 

 

4 Things I Learned From Overcoming Conflict

We all think differently. We all come from different walks of life. The sooner we accept it, the better everything will be. Acceptance comes first. Knowing that the other person is not necessarily wrong but that there are different perspectives in the equation will help avoid conflict. 

 

Once you figure out how to overcome conflict, remaining calm when being overwhelmed will become easier. You’ll be more aware of your surroundings, will know how to react in certain situations, and what to expect the outcome to look like. 

 

Here are 4 things I learned from overcoming conflict over the years – taking my experiences into consideration will ultimately help with making informed decisions. 

 

Communication Matters 

 

Our words often don’t mimic what we’re trying to say. During intense conversations, saying things out of anger, and impulsive statements will jeopardize relationships in the long run. Despite the thrill at the time, it is not worth it. Be rational. Be mindful of how your words can affect another person. Using the right language matters. 

 

In workplace dynamics, using exclusionary language, referring to someone as an opposing person will further impact your relationship. There’s a reason why there’s emphasis on being inclusive towards each other. Every word matters. 

 

Importance of Setting Your Ego Aside

 

There are times when you need to take a step back, reflect on your actions, and accept that arguing further out of pettiness will not help anyone. Ego always fuels our desire to be defensive and achieve a meaningless debate – it helps no one. 

 

From my experience, with a project at my workplace, there were conflicting opinions on what the right approach is. Everyone on my team came with their personal perspective on the matter, and it held a lot of weight. In such times, I learned that it is important to find a middle ground and compromise on senseless points. 

 

Talking in Person Matters 

 

It is an underrated trait but trust me, talking in person is far better than going back-and-forth on emails or text. Dealing with a professor in college, or your supervisor at work, comes with a lot of power dynamics. It is difficult to comprehend what the actual message is on either end when looking at a phone screen. 

 

We’re all hooked to our screens, but it is also important to act in an old-school way and confront someone when there’s a sense of conflict arising. 

 

Paying a visit in-person will help humanize the conversation and it is a much more immediate way to find a mutual understanding of things. When there is distance and passive aggressiveness along the way, it is difficult to fully understand what the other person is trying to say. 

 

Having Empathy for Others

 

While dealing with conflict, understanding that everyone comes with their own set of emotional baggage, and you have to deal with them accordingly is essential. Once you acknowledge the fact that everyone has different privileges and circumstances – it is easier to understand everyone’s situation. 

 

Active listening helps here. In relationships, listening to one another, fully grasping the intensity of the situation from all perspectives is vital while trying to resolve conflict. Being there for each other goes a long way – especially in situations where you’re actively trying to build a healthier relationship.

 

Conclusion

Communicate. Don’t let your ego take over you. Confront at the right time. And ultimately, have a sense of empathy for everyone around you. It’ll take you a long way, professionally, and in personal life. 

 

In most cases, conflicts happen due to unaddressed conversations, giving away the willingness to understand someone’s situation. We should all collectively do better. 

 

7 Good Morning Questions That Create Happiness

Voltaire says, “Judge someone by their questions, rather than by their answers.”

 

In other words, the right kind of questions are those that expand your thinking. They make you reflect on how to be better and do better. They can also help determine the quality of your day.

 

A good question can be especially helpful in the morning when you’re trying to get ready for work or school.

 

So, why not try to add some liveliness and vigor to your mornings with a few motivational questions?

 

Starting your day out with purpose and a sense of gratitude has been proven to be one of the most effective ways to live a happy, fulfilling life.

 

Asking the right questions in the morning has the power to put you in a good mood for the whole day. As a result, having a positive mindset allows you to focus more, retain more information, and get more done.

 

Here are seven good morning questions to create happiness and start your day with focus and energy. Try them out and see which ones work best for you.

 

What is the most important thing I can do today for my well-being?

 

There’s a reason why they tell you to put on your oxygen mask first. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of others. So, take the time to figure out what you can do to serve your own well-being.

 

Remember, every day is a new chance to change and improve the life you’re living. Work hard to reach your goals and achieve the things you believe in. Take small steps, and before you know it, you’ll get closer and closer to your goals.

 

What am I excited about accomplishing today?

 

Visualize your schedule for the day, starting from when you walk out of the door, reach your workplace, then come back home. What tasks do you need to accomplish? Do you have any deadlines for today? Meetings?

 

Try to picture everything in detail but put more focus on the positive aspects of your day. By giving yourself something to look forward to, you’ll be better equipped to handle the complex or tedious tasks of the day.

 

How can I encourage others, and myself, today?

 

To accomplish anything meaningful in life, you need to dream big and believe in those dreams. The more you believe, the farther you’ll get.

 

Yet, sometimes, we need a small push to get us going. This is when spreading around some reassuring words of encouragement and motivation. Be courageous in your thinking, yet also maintain your sense of optimism and cheerfulness. In other words, have your head in the clouds and your feet firmly planted in the ground.

 

Don’t forget to spread your eagerness and zeal to everyone around you.

 

What am I grateful for?

 

Socrates said, “Contentment is natural wealth, luxury is artificial poverty.”

 

Don’t waste your life fixating on what you don’t have rather than what you already have. If you do, you’ll never have enough.

 

The best thing you can do is appreciate the goodness that’s already yours, and you’ll have plenty to be grateful for. When you appreciate the people and things in your life, you’ll discover that you have a lot to live for.

 

How can I show my love to those I care about?

 

Relationships with friends, family, and life partners only work when the two sides decide to make a conscious effort to put in the work. They can be small acts of love and appreciation, just to tell one another that you’re there and that you care.

 

But these small acts go a long way in, especially when they come from the heart because it’s not so much what you do as it is how you do it. So, understand what matters most to those you care about. Then, spend a few minutes showing them in their own love language.

 

Can I take a break?

 

This question can be taken to mean two things: can I take a break for the entire day? Or can I take a break during the day?

 

If you find that you keep asking yourself the first question every morning, it could be your body’s way of telling you need to schedule time for yourself. Try to set aside no less than 15 minutes each day for some self-care.

 

On the other hand, if you’re asking yourself ‘Can I take a break during the day?’ that alone can unlock those feel-good hormones and happy emotions.

 

Even if your schedule is packed for the day, knowing that you have a break coming up will give you something to look forward to.

 

What would I like to remember about today?

 

Every day is special because it’s a chance to live your truth and take action toward meaningful goals. Yet, many times we take our days for granted without embracing the gift we’re giving with each sunrise.

 

So, ask yourself this: what can you do today that’s worth remembering?