5 Secrets To Self-Motivation

Why is it that motivating others is easy, but we struggle to motivate ourselves? There’s always another task that needs to be done, another deadline that needs to be met.

 

Yet, we need to learn how to take the time to show ourselves that we’re strong and hard-working. One of the secrets of self-motivation is to get our internal gears turning the right way so that we recognize our worth and value.

 

Everyone has goals they’re working towards. Yet, the degree of self-motivation we allow ourselves determines how hard we’re willing to work to achieve the desired result.

 

So, in a nutshell, with self-motivation, anything is possible. But, on the other hand, if it’s lacking in someone’s life, then life goals become of little significance.

 

To always encourage yourself to do better and be better, you need to show yourself kindness and motivation. Without them, you’ll achieve very little in life. To help you get inspired, we rounded up the five secrets to self-motivation.

 

Be Confident

 

“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” - A. A. Milne

 

Having the confidence to stand up for your beliefs and dreams is one of the most critical aspects of self-motivation. Yet, it can get difficult mustering up confidence when your brain is wired to shy away from a challenge.

 

To rewire your thoughts and build up your confidence, get a pen and paper. First, write down 3–4 of your achievements just to remind yourself of how much potential you have.

Then, make a habit of writing one thing you achieved each day. Little by little, that page will turn into two, then five, then a dozen—all the while creating a momentum that feeds on your self-confidence and assurance.

 

Track Your Progress

 

“Talk to yourself about your successes; be sure you’re recognizing your own accomplishments, no matter how small they may be.” - Rhett Power

 

Now that you’ve started writing down your daily achievements, even if it’s just watering the plants, it’s important to keep track of how far you’ve come.

 

You can use something as simple as a to-do list where you cross each task as you get each one done. Or, if you want to be more general, just cross off the whole day.

 

There are also numerous apps and software tools that help you create a personalized digital task board. This makes it easier to customize goals on a smaller scale, as well as all the way to the more time-consuming monthly and yearly goals.

 

As a result, you hold yourself accountable. Plus, you wake up each day knowing exactly what you’re supposed to do, giving your life purpose and meaning.

 

Maintain A Positive Outlook

 

“There’s a direct correlation between positive energy and positive results.” - Joe Rogan

 

Maintaining a positive mindset can go a long way in boosting your self-motivation. It’s also a great tool to have when things don’t go as planned. That’s when having that positive outlook can help you see things from a different perspective.

 

When your brain expects positive results, your choices will be geared towards the more positive. You’ll also be less likely to blame others for the unexpected things that pop up in your life.

 

To do this, you need to be aware of your negative thought patterns. Then, each time you feel some negative thoughts starting to pop up, replace them with positive ones immediately.

 

Another way to achieve this is by repeating positive affirmations in the morning to boost your motivation and confidence as you start your day.

 

Set Realistic Goals

 

“It must be borne in mind that the tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goals to reach.” - Benjamin E. Mays

 

Goals give your life a sense of direction, like a promise you make to yourself, then do your best to keep it.

 

For example, it could be something as simple as cutting back on sugar for a whole week. Or, maybe something a bit more consuming, like working out each day for a month.

 

Whether it’s work, family, or something personal, the best way to set goals is to break them up into measurable tasks. This can be monthly, weekly, daily, or even by the hour—whatever works for you.

 

Another tip is to make the goal just challenging enough to pique your interest. Yet, it shouldn’t be too complex that you give up easily.

 

Surround Yourself With Supportive People

 

“Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.” - Oprah Winfrey

 

Having positive people who help you achieve your potential is a great way to increase your self-esteem. In return, this gives your internal motivation a nice boost.

 

They’re also great for holding you accountable. They keep you pushing forward even when you don’t feel like getting out of bed.

 

The best thing is that it works both ways, which only works to strengthen your relationship. Plus, no one wants to let down that person who’s always there for them through the good days and the bad.

 

How To Make Healthy Food Choices On The Go

Try as you might, it’s not always possible to prepare all your meals. No one has the time or energy to spend hours preparing dishes packed with nutrients.

 

It’s also not easy sticking with a diet plan when you’re busy rushing from one meeting to the next. Sometimes, it’s just easier to grab food on the go. But the problem is that fast food isn’t always healthy food.

 

Because we know how important your health is, we rounded up some practical tips to help you make healthy food choices on the go.

 

Let’s get started.

 

Be Honest with Yourself

 

As with any new habit or lifestyle change, the first thing you have to do is be honest with yourself about a few things. Have an open, serious conversation about what your schedule is like and assess your busiest days.

 

These will probably be when you don't have time to prepare healthy meals. Thus, you’ll need to prepare a couple beforehand, so you can just grab them and go.

 

Another thing you have to be honest about is the types of food you eat. Luckily, we now live in a time when almost any food can be healthy.

 

Craving a burger? Try a veggie burger or use lettuce instead of patties. Need some chocolate in your life? Grab a bar of dark chocolate for your sweet tooth and a nice boost of antioxidants as well.

 

Understanding your likes and dislikes can go a long way in helping you make healthy food choices on the go.

 

Get the Right Tools

 

Making healthy food choices isn’t just about knowing what to buy at the grocery store. It’s also about getting suitable tools and materials to help make the process easier.

 

For example, two great buys are to-go boxes, such as microwave-safe bento and lunch boxes. Simply fill them up the night before. Then, just grab them from the fridge, pop them in your bag, and you’re set for the day.

 

For batch cooking, consider investing in a Dutch oven, Instant Pot, or crockpot. Each of these cookware is guaranteed to make meal prep quick and hassle-free. You just add the ingredients, set the timer, and leave it to their thing.

 

Think Ahead

 

Why not take a couple of hours out of your weekend to organize a meal schedule for the busy week ahead? You can go old school and use a pen and paper.

 

Or you can take advantage of today’s technology and download one of the many meal-planning apps available. These apps help you schedule meals, prepare shopping lists, and even help you manage your budget.

 

Other benefits of using a meal-planning app include the following:

 

• Focus only on the items on your grocery list, so you only buy what you need

• Suggest new and fun recipe ideas

• No more stressing over what you’ll eat or how much time it’ll take you

• Calculate how much carbs, fat, proteins, and other nutrients you’re consuming each day

• Know your total caloric intake for the day

 

Choose Wisely

 

It’s hard choosing healthy foods when you’re eating out or passing through a drive-thru. However, the good news is that now almost every fast-food place has a handful of healthy food options to choose from.

 

Thanks to the growing demand for healthier food choices, fast-food chains have amended many of their items. Some have even added brand-new ones that are all about being healthy.

 

In the meantime, try these tips:

• Pick the smaller portion sizes

• Opt for a side salad instead of fries

• Choose the grilled chicken instead of fried chicken or a beef burger

• Order water, diet soda, or unsweetened coffee or tea

 

Be a Smart Snacker

 

Sometimes we’re just so swamped with work that we don't have time to eat. So, we go to the vending machine and get a bag of chips or a bar of chocolate with a bazillion calories.

 

Sure, it’ll satiate you for about 15 minutes. But then, because they’re also loaded with carbs, your blood sugar levels will take a nose dive. Soon, you won’t be able to focus on your work, and you’ll be dying to take a nap.

 

To avoid putting yourself through all that, learn how to snack smart. This means choosing snacks that keep you feeling full for hours without all the loaded carbs, sodium, and fat.

 

Below is a list of some nutritious snacks you need to have in your bag at all times. From the sweet to the savor, these yummy snacks will ensure you always make healthy food choices.

 

• Trail mix

• Nuts like almonds, cashews, peanuts, and walnuts

• Chopped vegetables with a side of salsa or hummus

• Cut-up or whole fruit

• Rice cakes and granola

• Frozen yogurt

• Sugar-free protein bars

 

6 Tips For Working Through Your Mistakes

None of us are immune to making mistakes. Yet, those who have the skillset and confidence to learn from their mistakes are the ones who seem to do better in life.

 

By gaining knowledge and experience from our slip-ups, we boost people’s trust in our abilities. Not only that, but we become more capable of navigating life’s ups and downs with minimal stress and anxiety.

 

In this guide, I’ll discuss six tips for working through your mistakes. I’ll also talk about the psychology behind making mistakes, and how your blunders can actually help you become the best version of yourself.

 

So, let’s get started.

 

Own Your Mistakes

 

The first step in working through a mistake and learning from it is to admit to it. It’s not easy owning up to our oversights, but it’s part of the process of growth and self-discovery.

 

Also, try not to make excuses or justify your actions. I have to admit that it’s a lot easier to hide behind some lame reason or just blame someone else for what happened.

 

Let’s face it; we’re all afraid of being criticized and judged. However, when you do that, you only feel good for a short while. But then, soon after, the guilt starts to eat away at you.

 

So, while difficult to do, holding yourself accountable will be better for you in the long run. First of all, it’ll give you peace of mind. Plus, you’ll gain the respect of your peers as well as yourself.

 

Shift Your Perspective

 

Why did Thomas Edison have no problem failing all those times throughout his career? Because he didn’t see his mistakes and failures as something bad to be ashamed of.

 

Instead, he took them as an opportunity to learn. If he’d been afraid of what people might say about his repeated mistakes when he was inventing the light bulb, he wouldn’t have made history and become one of the most famous inventors of all time.

 

The same goes for hundreds of successful people. Yet, we usually don’t focus on their journey. Instead, we fast forward to the part where they became famous, forgetting that they spent days and weeks slipping up and trying to fix their errors.

 

Explore Alternative Courses of Action

 

Once you’ve trained your mind to see the good that can come from making mistakes, you’ll be better equipped to understand what went wrong.

 

You’ll also know why it happened and what you can do in the future to prevent it from happening again.

 

Yet, probably one of the most significant advantages of making mistakes is when you’re able to dig through the rubble and come up with alternative courses of action. For example, list the facts and devise other ways to handle the same situation or something similar.

 

This is a great way to take advantage of what happened and use it as a stepping stone to the next big thing in your life. As a result, you’ll find it easier to work through your mistakes and manage things more effectively.

 

Stop Dwelling on the Past

 

It’s only natural to find yourself fixated on that time you spilled coffee all over your presentation. Or when you stumbled on your way up the stairs and nearly ran into your boss.

 

Yet, dwelling on the past and overthinking are two of the biggest barriers to working through your mistakes.

 

Not only that, but they have a negative effect on your self-esteem. As a result, you become more anxious and apprehensive and have trouble moving on.

 

When you feel like your negative self-talk is taking over, you have to make a conscious effort to stop it before it gains momentum. Show yourself the same kindness and empathy you’d show to a friend.

 

The best way to do that is to make peace with your mistakes. Tell yourself that life moves on.

 

You can’t change what happened. So, the best way to get over something like that is to use it to avoid making the same mistake in the future.

 

Create a Plan of Action

 

The next logical step is to develop a plan of action. This is where you create a vivid mental image of what you should and shouldn’t do differently to get better results.

 

To start, gather as much information as you can and analyze it. Then, finally, put your plan into motion.

 

One of the best ways to ensure your plan is successful is to rely on new resources or skills. So, why not join a class or pick up a hobby? It’ll get you involved in new experiences while exposing yourself to new skill sets that you can use for self-improvement.

 

Make New Mistakes

 

No matter how old you are or what position you hold in your workplace, you will make mistakes. They’re a natural part of growing as an individual.

 

The only thing you can do is to make the most of your mistake and use it as a learning tool. This way, you’ll minimize their impact on your mental and emotional health, and you’ll be able to pick up the pieces much more efficiently.

 

So, the next time you find yourself slipping up, try taking a solution-oriented approach rather than dwell on the actual mistake. This positive way of dealing with things will allow you to think a few steps ahead to focus more on the solution rather than the problem.

 

Should You Keep Your Dreams to Yourself?

In 2010, Derek Sivers participated in a TED Conference. His speech lasted just three minutes and in it, he encouraged people to not share their goals with their friends, family, co-workers, or anyone around them. Derek backed up his reasoning with several scientific studies (listen to his presentation here).

 

In his speech, Derek says, “When you tell someone your goal and they acknowledge it, psychologists have found that’s called a social reality. The mind is kind of tricked into feeling it’s already done. Then because you’ve felt that satisfaction, you’re less motivated to do the actual hard work necessary.”

 

Derek goes on to point out how talking about an important life change or goal can make you less likely to succeed. But those aren’t the only reasons you may want to keep your latest ambition a secret from everyone else. Here are three more reasons you should consider keeping mum:

 

Talking about a Goal Destroys Your Stamina

 

How many times have you told someone else you were going to do something hard? Maybe you told a co-worker that you’re planning on losing 50 pounds. Perhaps you told a family member that you were going to get out of debt this year. 

 

You may think doing this pumps you up and makes you more likely to accomplish your goals. But talking about doing something hard can actually drain your energy. You start to come up with all the reasons you won’t achieve it. You might tell yourself, “Well, I just can’t say ‘no’ to sugar. I don’t mind debt that much and I don’t want to change my standard of living.”

 

Sharing a Goal Can Discourage You

 

You’re really going to do it. This will be the year that you quit the factory job you hate so much and start your work at home business. Then you make the mistake of sharing a goal with someone else. 

 

The problem is the other person is negative and quickly points out all of the reasons you’re bound to fail. They may say unsupportive things like, “You don’t have a degree. You don’t have the time. Where are you going to get the money?” 

 

Within a few minutes, you start feeling discouraged. You’d felt so energized and were determined to act on your motivation earlier. But now, you’re filled with self-doubt and negativity.

 

Telling Others about Your Goal Can Damage Your Reputation

 

You’re always the one in your circle of friends with the big dreams. You love sharing your visions and ideas with other people. After all, your new goal is going to work out spectacularly.

 

The only problem is your goals change frequently.  You’re always pursuing something new and you rarely see a goal through to completion. While being a dreamer has its advantages, if you don’t pair your goals with follow-through, you can end up damaging your reputation. People will describe you as flaky and no one will trust your word.

 

Before you tell a friend or family member about your next goal, consider carefully if you should do that. You may accomplish this dream and become more successful if you keep it to yourself rather than sharing it with someone else.  

 

What’s the Dream You’re Afraid to Share?

You have a dream in your heart. It’s the one that’s so precious, so fragile, and so important to you that you don’t share it with others. You hold it close, in the hopes that by protecting it, you’ll one day get the chance to live it. 

 

That’s what Maddie did. She’d dreamed of being a writer since she was a kid. She wanted to write books and see them sold at bookstores around the world. She never shared the dream with anyone and by the time she graduated high school, she decided she needed a practical career.

 

So, she went to college for years and got a degree. Then she began a career as a dentist. She enjoyed getting to help her patients but she still went home every night, feeling unfulfilled. She daydreamed in the quiet moments about the books she’d write.

 

Why Does This Dream Scare You?

 

Are you like Maddie? Do you have a dream that you’ve managed to quiet over the years? Maybe you’ve told yourself that you’ll write that book when the kids are grown. Maybe you’ve decided that you’ll have time to travel when you retire. Maybe you’ve said that one day you’ll go back to school and pursue that career dream, just as soon as you have enough money.

 

But stop and think. Ask yourself what you’re really afraid of. What makes you so frightened of going after the dream? Are you afraid of what people will say? Do you worry that your spouse won’t be supportive? Are you concerned about being shunned by others in your community?

 

How Will It Change Your Life?

 

Sometimes, we fear fulfilling our dreams because it means change. Even good changes – like finally working in a career that makes you happy or making room in your life to travel as often as you want – can feel scary. 

 

Before you can go after that dream, you need to ponder how your life will change. You need to imagine the day you’ll leave your job. You should visualize the moment you step on the stage and receive the diploma you’ve always wanted. You need to close your eyes and create the life of your dreams in your mind.

 

Are You Ready to Pursue It?

 

There is a chasm between the life of your dreams and your life now. The space in between the two will be filled with hard work, bitter tears, crippling setbacks, and intense pain. But if you’re willing to persevere, you’ll find the life you want is on the other side.

 

Maddie followed after her dream of becoming an author. She started writing books. She took writing classes. She networked with other authors. She began submitting her work to publishing houses and got feedback that helped her improve her work even more. She hasn’t sold a book yet, but she’s close. 

 

It takes courage to pursue your dreams and it’s tough. But it’s not nearly as hard as sitting on the sidelines of your own life, hoping that one day you get a chance to live out your deepest longings.

Are You Journaling Your Dream?

You’ve decided to get serious about your dream. But the dream is big and you feel overwhelmed. You’re not sure where to start or how to breathe life into it. You only know you want it so badly that you can taste it.

 

You’re first step could be journaling your dream. Find or buy a journal. Pick one that fits your personality and inspires you to fill each page. Some people like buying fancy leather bound journals while others prefer notebooks from a discount store. It doesn’t matter what your journal looks like or what material it’s made from, it only matters that you love it.

 

Capturing the Journey

 

If you’re not sure how to begin your journal, begin by writing about your dream. Talk about when you first remember becoming aware of the dream. Did you know you wanted to write books when you stepped into the library as a little kid? Did you know you were meant to be on stage when you participated in the theater club in high school? Did you only just discover your dream? Write about it!

 

It’s important that you remember this journal is for your eyes only. You don’t have to worry about perfect spelling and grammar. You’re not going to be graded on your sentence structure or expected to use the right punctuation. You’re free to let everything out in this space.

 

Praying for the Dream You Desire

 

Some people use journaling as a way of connecting with God and praying over their dreams. For example, one woman would start her journal entries with the words: “Dear Heavenly Father…”. She viewed each entry as a love letter to God and found it helpful to share her dream journey with Him.

 

Another woman used her journal to draw images that depicted her life. If she had a bad day and experienced a setback, she would sketch her frustrations and pain. When she had a good day, she would depict her feelings in the forms of cartoons. 

 

Speaking Your Dream into Existence

 

After you’ve dreamed or doodled your goals in your journal, it can be helpful to brainstorm your mantra. You can then repeat these mantras when you’re working on your goal and when you’re tempted to give up and let your dream die.

 

For example, Lesley’s dream was to become a public speaker despite the fact that she suffers from social anxiety. She wanted to spend her time motivating teenagers who felt like everyone had given up on them. 

 

As she began looking for speaking opportunities, she would repeat to herself, “I believe in myself and in my dreams. The world is filled with hurting teenagers who need to hear my message.” 

 

When it comes to your journal, there are no rules. If you want to doodle or draw all over it, do it. If you want to fill it with letters to God or the universe, do it. If you want to write your mantra down a hundred times a day, do it. Remember, this is your safe space where you’re free to dream. 

You Can Communicate Your Feelings Without Upsetting Others—Here’s How

Have you ever held back on saying something because you didn’t want to upset someone? There’s always a point where you internally debate whether or not to open up or say something, and it’s vital that you take that moment to decide to go forth and communicate. It’s not about avoiding upsetting people but rather about being confident in yourself and your feelings. You’re allowed to feel a certain way, and in order to communicate those feelings, start with these X tips. 

 

1. Understand Yourself Fully First

 

If you start a conversation off with anger or frustration or something else that fuels you to confront someone, chances are you will upset them. Instead, take some time to understand yourself first. Then, when you decide to communicate your feelings, you’ll have a clear headspace, and you’ll be ready to discuss maturely. 

 

2. Decide What to Communicate and What Not to Communicate

 

Some things are best kept to yourself. That doesn’t mean repressing them, but if you get annoyed at your friend for going shopping too often, that’s more of a personal problem than a problem you should voice. Before you jump into a conversation, delineate between the things you should discuss and the things you shouldn’t discuss. 

 

3. Think About Who You Trust

 

Opening up about emotions and vulnerability means you are ready to talk to someone about something serious. But that doesn’t mean you trust the person. You may feel vulnerable and just want a listening ear, but if you’re opening up to someone you don’t trust, you could get yourself into trouble. Make sure the person you’re speaking to is someone you trust – and someone who cares about you! 

 

4. Be Caring

 

There’s nothing good about a conversation that spirals into a heated discussion or anger-fueled debate. Be caring and empathetic with your words. Remember that at the end of the day, the person you’re communicating with is a human just like you. They deserve the respect you’d like to be treated with. The golden rule may seem outdated, but it should always be in the back of your mind – especially when you’re opening up in a feely discussion. 

 

5. Be Independent

 

It seems counterintuitive to think about being independent when you’re opening up to someone, but it’s a big component of a healthy discussion. Despite your relationship with this person, you are you. You need to be responsible for your feelings and actions, and you need to understand that no one is responsible for making you feel a certain way other than yourself. 

5 Steps to Effectively Communicate Your Feelings in Relationships

In relationships, there’s communication, and then there’s effective communication. Communication is something that takes a lot of work, and once you’ve successfully positioned yourself as a communicator, the next step is to crack the code at being an effective communicator. If you’re at that step, try these 5 mini steps to help you along with effectively communicating your feelings. 

 

1. Allow Yourself to Feel 

 

Going into a conversation with guilt or apprehension about your feelings? That won’t help you or your partner. You’re completely allowed to feel whatever you’re feeling, and you’re also allowed to talk about those feelings. 

 

2. Label your Feelings

 

You’re experiencing these feelings, but are you reading more into them? Are you labeling them and trying to put into context the essence of your emotions? It’s not easy to do, but it’s a really important exercise for you to do on your own before opening up and sharing with someone else. 

 

3. Start with Yourself

 

If you’re extroverted or you like talking about your feelings a lot, your first inclination may be to talk it out with your significant other. That’s a great thing to do, but it begins with you. You’ll have a hard time processing everything if you’re influenced by someone else’s insight or advice. Start with yourself, and then work your way up to a discussion with your partner. 

 

4. Remember How Much You Matter

 

You matter to your significant other; your feelings matter to your significant other. Keep this in mind and try to negate the potential fear or hesitation you may be experiencing. Swap those feelings for feelings of confidence and security in the strength of your relationship. 

 

5. Swap “You” for “I”

 

Whenever you get close to saying “You made me feel” or “You did this,” swap it for a personal statement. A conversation is helpful for you to share your perspective – not for you to point fingers at your loved one. Think about how you feel, why you feel that way, and what has happened to contribute to those feelings. 

 

Above all, when you’re entering into a conversation with your significant other, be happy that you’re taking this step. It’s excellent for you and even better for your relationship. Give yourself (and your partner) a pat on the back for working through something difficult, and keep yourself reminded of the light at the end of the communication tunnel – a happy, healthy dynamic between you and your partner. 

 

The 2/1 Communication Secret to Become More Charming

Charming is a word that has different meanings for different people. The word charisma is often brought to mind. When you think of someone as charming, you may feel that person is desirable and delightful, pleasant and appealing, maybe even magnetizing. 

 

Often times you won't be able to put your finger on exactly what draws you to that person. You just know you feel pleasant in their company and enjoy being around them.

 

Do you want to be more like that? Could you advance your career if you learned how to turn on the charm when dealing with others? It's an important skill that socially graceful people use to improve their relationships. Even when interacting with people they don't necessarily like or respect, a charming person can leave a good impression.

 

If you'd like to communicate more effectively and have people refer to you as charming and likable, there's one very simple thing you need to start doing. By the way, this doesn't take much practice. You are already physically hardwired to give off a more friendly, charming, and engaging vibe.

 

You just have to do a little basic math.

 

How Many Ears Do You Have? How Many Mouths?

 

Don't worry. You don't have to break out the calculator here. Just perform a simple math-based assumption.

 

You have 2 ears that are always open.

You only have 1 mouth, and it can be closed.

 

That should tell you what you were created to do more often. You should be listening much more than talking. The charming person is an excellent listener. 

 

She doesn't do it falsely. She asks many questions and uses facial expressions to show she's interested in the person talking. She listens deeply and can repeat things that have been told to her. Those are charming qualities.

 

As writer Eugene O'Neill stated ...

 

"We were given mouths that close and ears that don't ... that should tell us something."

 

Ancient philosopher Epictetus gave us the same lesson for being more charming.

 

"We have two ears and one mouth, so we can listen twice as much as we speak."

 

Being Charming Is All About Listening

 

Talking is an important part of being charming. You have to say the right things. You should also be genuine. People can tell when you're false and trying to manipulate them. So really care about the person you're talking to. Say pleasant things and think about the experience for the other person rather than yourself.

 

Then listen deeply. Get into the conversation, so when you decide to talk, you repeat things the person has said. You let them know you're truly listening and getting into the feelings and emotions being relayed. You were given two ears and only one mouth, and that mouth can close. So do at least two times more listening than talking if you want to be more charming and engaging.