4 Things I Learned From Overcoming Conflict

We all think differently. We all come from different walks of life. The sooner we accept it, the better everything will be. Acceptance comes first. Knowing that the other person is not necessarily wrong but that there are different perspectives in the equation will help avoid conflict. 

 

Once you figure out how to overcome conflict, remaining calm when being overwhelmed will become easier. You’ll be more aware of your surroundings, will know how to react in certain situations, and what to expect the outcome to look like. 

 

Here are 4 things I learned from overcoming conflict over the years – taking my experiences into consideration will ultimately help with making informed decisions. 

 

Communication Matters 

 

Our words often don’t mimic what we’re trying to say. During intense conversations, saying things out of anger, and impulsive statements will jeopardize relationships in the long run. Despite the thrill at the time, it is not worth it. Be rational. Be mindful of how your words can affect another person. Using the right language matters. 

 

In workplace dynamics, using exclusionary language, referring to someone as an opposing person will further impact your relationship. There’s a reason why there’s emphasis on being inclusive towards each other. Every word matters. 

 

Importance of Setting Your Ego Aside

 

There are times when you need to take a step back, reflect on your actions, and accept that arguing further out of pettiness will not help anyone. Ego always fuels our desire to be defensive and achieve a meaningless debate – it helps no one. 

 

From my experience, with a project at my workplace, there were conflicting opinions on what the right approach is. Everyone on my team came with their personal perspective on the matter, and it held a lot of weight. In such times, I learned that it is important to find a middle ground and compromise on senseless points. 

 

Talking in Person Matters 

 

It is an underrated trait but trust me, talking in person is far better than going back-and-forth on emails or text. Dealing with a professor in college, or your supervisor at work, comes with a lot of power dynamics. It is difficult to comprehend what the actual message is on either end when looking at a phone screen. 

 

We’re all hooked to our screens, but it is also important to act in an old-school way and confront someone when there’s a sense of conflict arising. 

 

Paying a visit in-person will help humanize the conversation and it is a much more immediate way to find a mutual understanding of things. When there is distance and passive aggressiveness along the way, it is difficult to fully understand what the other person is trying to say. 

 

Having Empathy for Others

 

While dealing with conflict, understanding that everyone comes with their own set of emotional baggage, and you have to deal with them accordingly is essential. Once you acknowledge the fact that everyone has different privileges and circumstances – it is easier to understand everyone’s situation. 

 

Active listening helps here. In relationships, listening to one another, fully grasping the intensity of the situation from all perspectives is vital while trying to resolve conflict. Being there for each other goes a long way – especially in situations where you’re actively trying to build a healthier relationship.

 

Conclusion

Communicate. Don’t let your ego take over you. Confront at the right time. And ultimately, have a sense of empathy for everyone around you. It’ll take you a long way, professionally, and in personal life. 

 

In most cases, conflicts happen due to unaddressed conversations, giving away the willingness to understand someone’s situation. We should all collectively do better. 

 

7 Good Morning Questions That Create Happiness

Voltaire says, “Judge someone by their questions, rather than by their answers.”

 

In other words, the right kind of questions are those that expand your thinking. They make you reflect on how to be better and do better. They can also help determine the quality of your day.

 

A good question can be especially helpful in the morning when you’re trying to get ready for work or school.

 

So, why not try to add some liveliness and vigor to your mornings with a few motivational questions?

 

Starting your day out with purpose and a sense of gratitude has been proven to be one of the most effective ways to live a happy, fulfilling life.

 

Asking the right questions in the morning has the power to put you in a good mood for the whole day. As a result, having a positive mindset allows you to focus more, retain more information, and get more done.

 

Here are seven good morning questions to create happiness and start your day with focus and energy. Try them out and see which ones work best for you.

 

What is the most important thing I can do today for my well-being?

 

There’s a reason why they tell you to put on your oxygen mask first. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of others. So, take the time to figure out what you can do to serve your own well-being.

 

Remember, every day is a new chance to change and improve the life you’re living. Work hard to reach your goals and achieve the things you believe in. Take small steps, and before you know it, you’ll get closer and closer to your goals.

 

What am I excited about accomplishing today?

 

Visualize your schedule for the day, starting from when you walk out of the door, reach your workplace, then come back home. What tasks do you need to accomplish? Do you have any deadlines for today? Meetings?

 

Try to picture everything in detail but put more focus on the positive aspects of your day. By giving yourself something to look forward to, you’ll be better equipped to handle the complex or tedious tasks of the day.

 

How can I encourage others, and myself, today?

 

To accomplish anything meaningful in life, you need to dream big and believe in those dreams. The more you believe, the farther you’ll get.

 

Yet, sometimes, we need a small push to get us going. This is when spreading around some reassuring words of encouragement and motivation. Be courageous in your thinking, yet also maintain your sense of optimism and cheerfulness. In other words, have your head in the clouds and your feet firmly planted in the ground.

 

Don’t forget to spread your eagerness and zeal to everyone around you.

 

What am I grateful for?

 

Socrates said, “Contentment is natural wealth, luxury is artificial poverty.”

 

Don’t waste your life fixating on what you don’t have rather than what you already have. If you do, you’ll never have enough.

 

The best thing you can do is appreciate the goodness that’s already yours, and you’ll have plenty to be grateful for. When you appreciate the people and things in your life, you’ll discover that you have a lot to live for.

 

How can I show my love to those I care about?

 

Relationships with friends, family, and life partners only work when the two sides decide to make a conscious effort to put in the work. They can be small acts of love and appreciation, just to tell one another that you’re there and that you care.

 

But these small acts go a long way in, especially when they come from the heart because it’s not so much what you do as it is how you do it. So, understand what matters most to those you care about. Then, spend a few minutes showing them in their own love language.

 

Can I take a break?

 

This question can be taken to mean two things: can I take a break for the entire day? Or can I take a break during the day?

 

If you find that you keep asking yourself the first question every morning, it could be your body’s way of telling you need to schedule time for yourself. Try to set aside no less than 15 minutes each day for some self-care.

 

On the other hand, if you’re asking yourself ‘Can I take a break during the day?’ that alone can unlock those feel-good hormones and happy emotions.

 

Even if your schedule is packed for the day, knowing that you have a break coming up will give you something to look forward to.

 

What would I like to remember about today?

 

Every day is special because it’s a chance to live your truth and take action toward meaningful goals. Yet, many times we take our days for granted without embracing the gift we’re giving with each sunrise.

 

So, ask yourself this: what can you do today that’s worth remembering?

 

8 Methods To Boost Your Problem-Solving Skills

Problem is defined by the dictionary as “a matter or situation regarded as unwelcome or harmful and needing to be dealt with and overcome.”

 

“Problem solving is the process of achieving a goal by overcoming obstacles, a frequent part of most activities. Problems in need of solutions range from simple personal tasks to complex issues in business and technical fields.” (Wikipedia)

 

Why You Need Problem Solving Skills

 

1. For one, when you ignore your problems, they tend to get worse.
2. The life skill of problem solving gives you some level of control over your life, in the present and even in the future.
3. Whether in personal dilemmas or professional quandaries, the right approach can turn obstacles into opportunities. 
4. Problem solving helps build resilience.
5. Lastly, it’s a vital skill that helps you deal with life on life’s terms.

 

This article offers eight key methods to enhance your problem-solving acumen, ensuring you tackle issues with clarity, creativity, and confidence. Dive in to master the art of addressing challenges head-on.

 

Defining the Problem with Clarity 

 

Understanding the problem is the foundational step in any problem-solving process. To address any issue effectively, one must first ensure they grasp its entirety. 

 

This involves more than just identifying the problem's existence; it means delving deep to understand its root cause, the people it impacts, and the circumstances under which it arises. 

By dissecting the problem into more digestible parts, the process becomes less overwhelming and paves the way for a more lucid solution-finding journey.

 

The Power of Brainstorming 

 

Once the problem is laid out clearly, the next step is to gather a plethora of potential solutions. This phase should emphasize open-mindedness and creativity, allowing for a wide range of ideas, from the conventional to the out-of-the-box. 

 

The essence of brainstorming is diversity. Including individuals from different backgrounds or fields can infuse the process with varied viewpoints and enrich the pool of solutions.

 

Creative Problem Solving

 

Harvard Business School describes another approach to problem solving that while less structured offers valuable opportunities and one that is ideal for situations where the root cause has not yet been identified or defined.

 

The tools of creative problem solving include:

 

• Brainstorming
• Divergent thinking exercises: This involves coming up with a variety of solutions, each unique and each offering possible alternatives. 

 

Visualization

 

Seeing the Problem In many scenarios, visual aids can be incredibly potent tools in the problem-solving arsenal. When dealing with complex issues, writing them down on flowcharts, diagrams, or mind maps can give you insights into their complexities. 

 

Such visual representations can demystify complexities, showcase how different elements interrelate, and pinpoint areas that might require special attention.

 

Evaluating and Prioritizing Solutions 

 

With a list of possible solutions in hand, the next logical step is to sift through them. This involves a meticulous examination of each idea based on various parameters such as feasibility, potential impact, and resources needed. 

 

An objective assessment can also uncover possible risks and upsides tied to each solution. This methodical analysis is crucial in zeroing in on the most viable solutions while sidestepping potential hazards.

 

Tackling Complex Problems Piece by Piece 

 

One common pitfall in problem-solving is becoming paralyzed by the sheer magnitude of an issue. The antidote to this is segmentation. 

 

By deconstructing a colossal problem into bite-sized tasks, it becomes less daunting. This approach not only prevents feelings of being overwhelmed but also instills a progressive sense of achievement with each completed task.

 

The Value of Collaboration and Feedback 

 

Solving problems in isolation can often be limiting. By bringing in a fresh set of eyes, be it peers, mentors, or domain experts, new perspectives can be added to the mix. 

 

Additionally, Engaging in discussions can unearth insights that one might have missed, highlight unforeseen challenges, or suggest alternative paths. This collaborative spirit can amplify creativity and drive towards a more holistic solution.

 

Embracing Mistakes as Learning Opportunities 

 

When it comes to problem-solving, perfection is a myth. It's natural to encounter roadblocks or realize that a chosen solution doesn't yield the desired results. Instead of viewing these as failures, they should be perceived as invaluable lessons. 

 

By introspecting on what didn't work, refining strategies, and persisting in the face of setbacks, one not only finds better solutions but also strengthens their problem-solving aptitude and resilience.

 

Conclusion 

 

Problem-solving is a vital skill in both personal and professional life. By consistently practicing and refining these methods, you'll be better equipped to tackle challenges head-on and come up with effective solutions. 

 

Whether it's a minor hiccup or a significant hurdle, developing strong problem-solving skills will serve you well in any situation.

 

15 Super Mental Health Tips

Prioritizing mental well-being is more crucial than ever. With increasing external pressures and internal challenges, it's vital to have strategies in place to maintain and enhance our mental health. While professional help is essential for severe mental health issues, everyday practices can significantly boost our overall mental wellness. 

 

This article delves into 15 super tips, grounded in both ancient wisdom and modern research, to help you navigate the pathways of your mind. 

 

Practice Mindfulness Meditation

 

Mindfulness meditation is a practice that focuses on the present moment without judgment. It's a technique that has its roots in ancient Buddhist traditions but has gained significant attention in modern psychology for its benefits. 

 

Research shows that practicing mindfulness can reduce stress, improve concentration, and even increase one's overall happiness.

 

Taking just a few minutes each day to sit quietly, breathe deeply, and focus on the present can make a significant difference in one's mental well-being.

 

Stay Physically Active

 

Exercise isn't just for physical health; it plays a pivotal role in mental wellness, too. Regular physical activity can help alleviate symptoms of depression and anxiety. 

 

When we exercise, our body releases endorphins, which are natural mood lifters. Whether it's a brisk walk, a yoga session, or a high-intensity workout, find an activity you enjoy and make it a part of your routine.

 

Get Adequate Sleep

 

“While insomnia can be a symptom of psychiatric disorders, like anxiety and depression, it is now recognized that sleep problems can also contribute to the onset and worsening of different mental health problems, including depression, anxiety, and even suicidal ideation.” (https://www.columbiapsychiatry.org/)

 

Sleep is essential for mental health. Lack of rest can exacerbate feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression. It's crucial to establish a regular sleep routine, ensuring you get at least 7-9 hours of sleep per night.

 

Avoid screen time at least an hour before bed, keep your bedroom dark and cool, and try to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day.

 

Connect with Loved Ones

 

“When people are socially connected and have stable and supportive relationships, they are more likely to make healthy choices and to have better mental and physical health outcomes. They are also better able to cope with hard times, stress, anxiety, and depression.” (Centers For Disease Control)

 

Human beings are social creatures. Connecting with friends, family, and even pets can provide emotional support and reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation. 

 

Spend quality time with loved ones, engage in meaningful conversations, and seek support when needed. Remember, it's okay to lean on others when you're feeling down.

 

Limit Alcohol and Caffeine Intake

 

While a glass of wine or a cup of coffee might seem like a good idea at the moment, excessive intake can negatively impact your mental health. 

 

Both alcohol and caffeine can disrupt sleep patterns and exacerbate anxiety. It's essential to consume them in moderation and be aware of their effects on your mind and body.

 

Set Realistic Goals

 

Setting achievable goals can give you a sense of purpose and direction. Start with small steps and celebrate your achievements along the way. 

 

Whether it's related to your career, personal life, or hobbies, having clear goals can act as a motivating force and enhance your self-esteem. Remember, it's okay to adjust your goals based on changing circumstances or feelings.

 

Take Breaks and Manage Stress

 

It's essential to recognize when you're feeling overwhelmed and give yourself a break. Whether it's a short walk, a day off, or a vacation, taking time to relax and rejuvenate can significantly benefit your mental health. 

 

Incorporate stress-reducing activities into your routine, such as deep breathing exercises, journaling, or listening to music.

 

Maintain a Balanced Diet

 

What you eat can significantly influence your mental health. A balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins can boost your mood and energy. 

 

Avoid excessive sugar and processed foods, which can lead to mood swings and feelings of fatigue. Drinking plenty of water also helps in maintaining optimal brain function.

 

Limit Exposure to Negative News

 

While it's essential to stay informed, constant exposure to negative news can take a toll on your mental well-being. Set boundaries for how often and when you consume news. 

Consider designating specific times in the day to check updates and avoid doing so right before bed. Remember to balance the intake with positive stories and news as well.

 

Seek Professional Help When Needed

 

There's no shame in seeking help. If you feel persistently sad, anxious, or overwhelmed, it might be time to consult a professional. 

 

Therapists, counselors, and psychiatrists can provide valuable insights, coping strategies, and support. Remember, taking the step to seek help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

 

Limit Screen Time

 

Spending excessive time in front of screens, whether it's for work or leisure, can negatively impact mental health. Studies have shown that prolonged screen time can lead to symptoms of depression and anxiety. 

 

It's crucial to take regular breaks, perhaps following the 20-20-20 rule: every 20 minutes, look at something 20 feet away for at least 20 seconds. Also, consider setting a screen curfew before bedtime to improve sleep quality.

 

Engage in Creative Activities

 

Engaging in creative activities can be therapeutic. Whether it's painting, writing, crafting, or playing a musical instrument, expressing oneself creatively can provide a sense of accomplishment and act as an emotional outlet. 

 

The good news is that you don't have to be an expert; the process is more important than the end product.

 

Practice Gratitude

 

Focusing on positive aspects of your life and practicing gratitude can significantly boost mental well-being. Consider maintaining a gratitude journal, where you jot down things you're thankful for each day. 

 

Studies have shown that practicing gratitude can lead to increased happiness and reduced depressive symptoms.

 

Avoid Drugs and Substance Abuse

 

While some might turn to drugs or alcohol as a coping mechanism, substance abuse can exacerbate mental health issues. It's essential to be aware of the consequences and seek support if you find yourself relying on substances for emotional relief.

 

Educate Yourself

 

Understanding mental health, its challenges, and various coping mechanisms can empower you to take better care of yourself. 

 

Numerous resources, both online and offline, provide valuable insights into mental well-being. Educating yourself can also help in reducing the stigma associated with mental health issues.

 

References

• Kabat-Zinn, J. (2003). Mindfulness-based interventions in context: Past, present, and future. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 10(2), 144-156.

• Babyak, M., Blumenthal, J. A., Herman, S., Khatri, P., Doraiswamy, M., Moore, K., ... & Krishnan, K. R. (2000). Exercise treatment for major depression: maintenance of therapeutic benefit at ten months. Psychosomatic Medicine, 62(5), 633-638.

• Walker, M. P. (2017). Why we sleep: Unlocking the power of sleep and dreams. Simon and Schuster.

 

How To Make Criticism Work For You

It may seem counter-intuitive, but sometimes a critique can be the most impactful thing someone can offer you. It all comes down to what you decide to do with it. If you’d like to discover how to make criticism work for you, rather than derail you, read on.

 

Create Distance

 

When someone says something critical about you, you have some choices to make. Of these choices, one of the most significant is whether or not you choose to be offended. 

 

The stoic philosopher Epictetus said this on the subject, “If someone in the street were entrusted with your body, you would be furious. Yet you entrust your mind to anyone around who happens to insult you and allow it to be troubled and confused. Aren't you ashamed of that?”^[1]

 

In other words, don’t fall into the trap of allowing the opinions of others to control your emotions and take charge of your mind. By recognizing that someone’s thoughts about you only have the significance you afford them, you can decide how you will feel, and you see the foolishness of letting other people’s words control you. 

 

This recognition creates distance between what is said and your sense of self-worth, a powerful tool to assist you in navigating snares of modern life such as the attention economy and cancel culture.

 

Let Life Be Your Teacher

 

Choosing to learn from each experience you have is profoundly empowering. You don’t have to agree with people or even think they’re intelligent. The important thing is that you can garner lessons from everything you encounter in life.

 

When someone criticizes you, it’s a great opportunity. Since you’ve already chosen to create distance and not allow words to offend you, you now have the chance to scan over what was said and see if there’s anything useful there. You’re ready to learn and grow if possible, transforming the encounter from a trial to a win.

 

Embrace The Process

 

Sometimes a little humility goes a long way. When we acknowledge that we’re all works in progress, it doesn’t hurt so much to encounter criticism. Instead of feeling embarrassed or belittled, you can figure out how the observation might pave the way for improvement. After all, a lack of growth often leads to stagnation, so we should embrace the process, relishing opportunities to break the mold and move forward.

 

Criticism Can Cultivate Creativity

 

Sometimes hearing what is wrong with something you’ve done can pave the way for innovation. For example, when someone presents you with issues in a proposal you present, or holes in a story you’ve written, it can reveal new ideas that were previously obscured from your view. This expanded vision is a part of how collaboration works, making more minds better than one.

 

According to Harvard Business Review, there’s a sweet spot in criticism that recognizes the flaws in something without throwing the baby out with the bathwater. They refer to this process as “yes, but, and.” In this scenario, the “yes, but” portion presents the issue with a presented idea, while the “and” portion presents potential solutions.^[2]

 

By approaching a discussion this way, the critique becomes an invaluable method for creating novel solutions without disregarding a person’s initial concept. As with many encounters, showing regard for other people’s feelings and perspectives while giving constructive criticism makes for more thorough communication and better outcomes.

 

Final Thoughts

 

It isn’t all bad to be criticized, even when the critic has questionable intentions. When we choose to analyze a person’s words, scan them for utility, and refuse to take them personally, we will always learn from the encounter. The freedom from releasing the perception of insult paves the way for vast personal improvement while removing potential suffering.

 

The benefits of criticism are amplified when it is used constructively amongst respectful individuals. In this ideal scenario, you will be encouraged to elevate your ideas and hone your skills, while being free from personal attack. Thus, being amongst good company is another potent way to make criticism work for you.

 

References

 

1. Salomon, Albert, editor. The Enchiridion. Translated by Thomas Wentworth Higginson, Bobbs-Merrill, 1955. 
2. “Why Criticism Is Good for Creativity.” Harvard Business Review, 16 July 2019, https://hbr.org/2019/07/why-criticism-is-good-for-creativity.

 

Cultivating a Balanced Mindset

In the pursuit of achieving balance, we often get caught up in the external world - creating to-do lists, scheduling commitments, and striving for efficiency. However, a crucial element often overlooked is cultivating a balanced mindset.

 

Shifting Your Perspective

 

Instead of viewing life as a constant struggle for balance, adopt the perspective that balance is an internal state. It's not about achieving external perfection but finding peace and acceptance within yourself. This shift in perspective allows you to approach life's challenges with greater resilience and navigate the inevitable ups and downs without feeling overwhelmed.

 

Practicing Mindfulness

 

Mindfulness practices like meditation and deep breathing can be powerful tools for cultivating a balanced mind. These practices help you focus on the present moment and become aware of your thoughts and emotions without judgment. By training your mind to be present and accepting, you can better manage stress, reduce anxiety, and approach life's challenges with greater clarity and calmness.

 

Gratitude as a Source of Strength

 

Gratitude is another powerful tool for cultivating a balanced mindset. It allows you to shift your focus from what you lack to what you already have, fostering a sense of contentment and appreciation for the good things in life. Taking time to reflect on what you're grateful for, big or small, can significantly improve your well-being and overall outlook.

 

Self-Compassion is Key

 

Finding balance requires compassion for yourself, especially on days when you feel overwhelmed or unable to adhere to your ideal schedule. Instead of self-criticism, practice self-acceptance and understanding. Acknowledge your limitations and forgive yourself for setbacks. Remember, everyone struggles with achieving balance at times, and it's not about attaining perfection but about making progress and learning from your experiences.

 

Cultivating a balanced mindset is a journey, not a destination. By incorporating mindfulness practices, fostering gratitude, and practicing self-compassion, you can create a foundation for inner peace and navigate the ebbs and flows of life with greater ease and resilience. This, in turn, will contribute to a more balanced and fulfilling life, even when faced with external demands and challenges.