If You Want to Be Better at Starting Conversations, Take a Break from Social Media

Social media has helped many people connect and reconnect. People who have not seen each other since high school or college are now striking up conversations on Facebook. But there is something lost when connecting in this manner. It’s possible we have become more isolated due to these channels, which makes it more difficult when meeting people face-to-face.

 

There is nothing like a physical meet up with people. Emoticons aside, there is no replacement for seeing someone’s smiling face. Also, the more we engage in social media conversation, the less we make ourselves available to chat one-on-one.

 

The appeal of social media is understandable. Where else can you strike up instant conversations with friends you haven’t seen in ages? We can share pictures, listen to music together, and keep each other up-to-date with what is going on in each of our lives. When we have struggles, we can turn to our friends and hope someone can help. At the very least, we can get emotional support from them.

 

The internet has made us less connected in some ways. The next time you find yourself in the presence of several people, take note of how many of them are typing away on their smart devices. There isn’t much need to start up a conversation since people are already in the process of speaking to someone else. In fact, if you decide to try, you’ll probably find people getting annoyed because you interrupted their conversation online.

 

Before the proliferation of smart devices, people chatted with each other all the time. On trains, in the subways, and even at the bus stop, it was all fair game. 

 

These days, if you want to stand out from the crowd, strike up a conversation with a stranger. In fact, you can talk about the technology the person uses for his or her smart device. This can be a great conversation starter. Simply go up to someone and say, “Excuse me. I am currently thinking about buying a new smart device. Can you tell me about the one you have?” Even if you aren’t in the market for one, this conversation starter will get them talking for a while.

 

Social media isn’t going away. However, it can’t hurt to connect directly with people face-to-face. You can determine within a few moments whether the person is worth continuing speaking to. You don’t have this luxury with social media.

 

The 2/1 Communication Secret to Become More Charming

Charming is a word that has different meanings for different people. The word charisma is often brought to mind. When you think of someone as charming, you may feel that person is desirable and delightful, pleasant and appealing, maybe even magnetizing. 

 

Often times you won't be able to put your finger on exactly what draws you to that person. You just know you feel pleasant in their company and enjoy being around them.

 

Do you want to be more like that? Could you advance your career if you learned how to turn on the charm when dealing with others? It's an important skill that socially graceful people use to improve their relationships. Even when interacting with people they don't necessarily like or respect, a charming person can leave a good impression.

 

If you'd like to communicate more effectively and have people refer to you as charming and likable, there's one very simple thing you need to start doing. By the way, this doesn't take much practice. You are already physically hardwired to give off a more friendly, charming, and engaging vibe.

 

You just have to do a little basic math.

 

How Many Ears Do You Have? How Many Mouths?

 

Don't worry. You don't have to break out the calculator here. Just perform a simple math-based assumption.

 

• You have 2 ears that are always open.

• You only have 1 mouth, and it can be closed.

 

That should tell you what you were created to do more often. You should be listening much more than talking. The charming person is an excellent listener. 

 

She doesn't do it falsely. She asks many questions and uses facial expressions to show she's interested in the person talking. She listens deeply and can repeat things that have been told to her. Those are charming qualities.

 

As writer Eugene O'Neill stated ...

 

"We were given mouths that close and ears that don't ... that should tell us something."

 

Ancient philosopher Epictetus gave us the same lesson for being more charming.

 

"We have two ears and one mouth, so we can listen twice as much as we speak."

 

Being Charming Is All About Listening

 

Talking is an important part of being charming. You have to say the right things. You should also be genuine. People can tell when you're false and trying to manipulate them. So really care about the person you're talking to. Say pleasant things and think about the experience for the other person rather than yourself.

 

Then listen deeply. Get into the conversation, so when you decide to talk, you repeat things the person has said. You let them know you're truly listening and getting into the feelings and emotions being relayed. You were given two ears and only one mouth, and that mouth can close. So do at least two times more listening than talking if you want to be more charming and engaging.

Improve Your Communication Skills

Communication consists of sending messages which involve speaking, listening, writing and understanding. The act of communication takes at least two people to complete. 

 

It is extremely important to have good communication skills in all areas of your life. When you think about it, you communicate at almost every opportunity. You may be sending a text message, writing an email, talking to someone or listening to someone. 

When communication is not done effectively this can lead to unresolved issues and difficulties. Many couples get divorced due to lack of communication.  

 

Would you say that you know how to communicate well in your everyday life? A person that communicates well displays the following characteristics: 

• They know how to pay attention.

• They demonstrate that they understand the situation.

• They pay attention to the person who is speaking.

• They look directly into the eyes of this person.

• They watch for body language including facial and hand gestures.

When you become good at communication you will find it easier to build relationships and keep them. People who communicate well can work on a team together and produce fantastic results. 

 

Listening skills have to be on the top of the skill list for communication. You can’t very well respond if you don’t clearly understand the situation. The best way to develop your skills is by doing the following: 

• Pay attention and then ask questions, especially if you are unsure of a certain point.

• Show the person sympathy and understanding, even if your own feelings are a little different.

• Don’t interrupt the person when they are speaking. Let them finish talking before taking your turn and if necessary present your point of view.

• Do not judge people. Everyone is entitled to their point of view on any subject. This essentially means that there is no one right or one wrong view point on anything.  

When you can put all of these things into play you are on your way to becoming a good listener. Once you have mastered this skill then you can improve your other communication skills such as writing and speaking. 

 

You have to agree that it will be much easier to respond by email to someone, when you have fully understood the issue. This will be because you took the time to listen attentively in the first place. 

 

Remember taking the time to improve your communication skills can help improve all areas of your life including building your self-confidence and self-esteem. 

 

Charles Darwin Discovered the Powers of Rest on his "Thinking Path"

Most people, you included, can only go full tilt for about 90 to 120 minutes. After that, if you try to push through and continue to produce at a high level, you start fouling up the works. Keeping mentally focused and at your highest production level is difficult. Your mental engine begins to break down.

 

The same is true with your physical body. You can't go very long at a high level physically without taking a break. 

 

The greatest athletes in the world take several breaks in the middle of a game. Basketball, football, and soccer players regularly substitute in and out of a game. Their coaches know that's the only way to keep the freshest and most capable bodies in the game most of the time.

 

The human mind and body require rest. In many cases, a higher level of productivity and creativity can only be achieved if rest happens regularly. That's what Charles Darwin discovered ... the hard way.

 

Charles Darwin, the Stereotypical Work Addict

 

You may know Charles Darwin as a naturalist, biologist, and important figure in evolutionary biology. He is famous for his theories on natural selection, though he contributed in important ways to various other fields.

 

He wrote thousands of letters and papers which helped us understand our world. From all accounts, he was your typical workaholic. What he discovered about constantly working was that it didn't lead to his greatest discoveries.

 

He would push past mental fatigue, or at least try to. The result was eventually a crash-and-burn state, physically and mentally. Once he realized he was being counterproductive, he shut down his brain. Darwin stepped outside his home in Kent in the UK and walked on a gravel track. 

 

He returned to work refreshed and rejuvenated. Darwin began to schedule morning and afternoon walks on what he eventually called his Thinking Path, where he rested his mind and exercised his body.

 

He discovered that frequently taking breaks from his work's physical and mental aspects led to his greatest achievements.

 

Evolution by Natural Selection Was Born on the Thinking Path

 

Darwin had toyed with the idea of natural selection when he lived in London. It wasn't until he moved to Kent and began regularly taking breaks from work on his Thinking Path that his natural selection evolutionary theory was fully developed.

 

It is said that Darwin would sometimes stop talking in the middle of a sentence when he realized he needed a break. It may have been a break from work, a break from socializing, or a rest from whatever he was doing at the present time.

 

He believed in the power of resting because he saw the wonderful results in his life.

 

You may not strive to rewrite humanity's views on some important topic. That doesn't mean you can't benefit physically, mentally, and creatively from scheduling rest into your day. It's a simple fact that your mind and body need to rest and rejuvenate to be their best. Start resting more regularly to achieve and produce more in your life.

Keep Your Brain Healthy in Just 5 Minutes a Day

You look after your body, stay as fit as you can and make time for a healthy lifestyle, right? It’s just as important to keep your brain healthy too if you want to deal better with stress, be more productive, and reduce your risk of Alzheimer’s disease and dementia later in life. 

 

The good news is that you can keep your brain in tip-top condition by practicing meditation for as little as five minutes a day. Meditation has been shown to reverse the shrinking that happens as part of the natural aging process from your mid-20s onwards. A Harvard study showed that meditation can increase the size of your brain after just eight weeks of regular practice. 

 

Here’s how you can develop a meditation practice to suit you and your lifestyle to start taking better care of your brain right now. 

 

1.    Find the Right Meditation Style for You

 

Possibly the most important way to start a meditation habit is to find what works for you. You don’t have to sit on a cushion for hours in a temple unless you want to. There are meditation apps for your smartphone, yoga and meditation tutorials on the internet, or you can find a meditation group in your local community. It can be as easy as sitting in a park during your lunch hour. 

 

2.    Schedule Meditation Time

 

Be intentional and make time in your schedule for regular meditation practice. Studies have shown that as little as five or ten minutes a day is enough to feel the benefits of meditation, but it must be done consistently. If you can find time to brush your teeth, you can find time to meditate.

 

3.    Start Small

 

You don’t have to launch into a full meditation to start with. Take baby steps and begin by just sitting quietly and focusing on your breath. Observe your breathing and feel calmer as you concentrate inwards. 

 

4.    Add Some Meditation Exercises

 

Once you feel comfortable with sitting and breathing quietly, you can add in some meditation exercises. A good one is the V-Shaped Breath exercise:

 

Focus your attention on the point between your eyes. Imagine cool air coming in and out in the shape of a V. As you breathe in, expand the V across your forehead. Then as you exhale bring the breath down the V to the point between your eyes. 

 

As well as regulating your breathing, you are calming your frontal lobes, increasing your capacity to analyze and problem solve. Adding a five-minute meditation practice to your day is the first step in a healthier, happier brain.

 

8 Proven Ways Walking Improves Your Brain

It might surprise you to hear that something as simple as walking can actually improve your brainpower. It doesn’t even have to be full-on power walking! Even a twenty- or thirty-minute walk during your lunch break can have a positive impact on your brain. Here are eight ways science has proven that walking is excellent for your brain. 

 

1.    Walking Helps Lower Your Risk of Depression

 

Walking is an excellent way to improve your mental health. A 2018 study showed that any kind of moderate aerobic exercise like brisk walking can boost your brain health and lower your risk of developing depression by a third. 

 

2.    Walking Improve Your Cognitive Function

 

A number of studies have shown that the magic amount of twenty to thirty minutes of daily aerobic exercise, such as walking, improves cognitive function and memory.

 

3.    Walking Stimulates Endorphins

 

Just ten minutes of walking is enough to start your brain releasing endorphins, the brain chemicals that lower stress, boost your mental health, and make you feel good. You’ve heard of the runner’s high? Well, you can get a similar positive rush from a brisk walk!

 

4.    Walking Releases the Brain’s Magic Protein

 

Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor (BDNF) has been dubbed the brain’s ‘magic protein’ as it helps to rewire and build new neural pathways. Scientists believe it can even help lower your risk of Alzheimer’s Disease. And cardiovascular exercise is an easy way to stimulate the production of BDNF and keep your brain in peak condition. 

 

5.    Walking Lowers Physical and Mental Fatigue

 

A 2008 study by the University of Georgia found that just three sessions a week of a low-intensity exercise like walking can reduce fatigue levels by as much as 65 percent. 

 

6.    Walking Builds Hippocampus Strength

 

Your hippocampus is the key part of the brain for forming and storing memories. Research has shown that even brief walks can actually increase the size and efficiency of your hippocampus.

 

7.    Walking Improves Creativity

 

Artists, writers, and philosophers have long known the importance of walking for clearing blocked creativity and getting inspiration flowing again. Science can now back this up with a 2014 study by Stanford University showing that walking increases your creative output by up to sixty percent. 

 

8.    Walking Increases Blood Flow to the Brain

 

Blood is vital for every organ in your body, not least of all, your brain. That magic twenty minutes is all it takes to increase the blood flow to your brain to keep it active and healthy. 

 

3 Ways to Supercharge Your Brain Power Through Exercise

You know exercise is good for your physical health, but did you know it’s also good for your brain? The latest neurological research has shown that there is a so-called ‘magic protein’ called Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor (BDNF) that has the power to supercharge your brain and improve your memory. And it is stimulated by cardiovascular exercise!

 

BDNF can rewire and build new neural pathways in the brain, especially in the crucial areas that control memory (the hippocampus) and analysis, thinking, and decision-making (the frontal lobes). Your frontal lobes are where most of the intellectual activity of the brain takes place, from processing the data that’s coming in all the time to problem-solving and making ethical decisions.  And you can keep these critical parts of your brain bathed in BDNF by merely increasing the amount of exercise in your daily routine. 

 

If you find it hard to commit to regular exercise, here are three ways you can make it easier and supercharge your brain at the same time. 

1.    Make it Fun

The key to maintaining an exercise regime is to choose an activity or activities that you enjoy. Not everyone likes going to the gym, but there are many other ways to increase your heart rate and get the BDNF pumping. 

 

Dancing, swimming, hiking out in nature, and bike riding will all get your heart rate up, and you’ll enjoy doing it. Even brisk walking will help. As a bonus, exercise will boost your endorphins, too, making you happier and more relaxed. 

 

2.    Schedule Your Exercise

 

It’s easier to stick to a regular exercise plan if you schedule time in your diary. Set aside time and increase your sessions until you’re exercising for thirty minutes, four or five times a week. Like any other habit, once you make it a priority, it will become just another part of your regular routine like brushing your teeth. 

 

3.    Make it Musical

 

Research has shown that music can increase motivation and happiness. Exercise will be much more fun if you’re bopping away to your favorite tunes. Even housework can become a brain-boosting dance routine when you’re vacuuming along to music that makes you smile. Turn up the volume and start cleaning to the beat!

 

Create a playlist of your favorite songs, and you will find that exercise is pleasurable and much easier to stick to when there’s upbeat music to encourage you!

5 Ways To Boost Emotional Growth

Emotional growth, also known as emotional maturity, is being wise enough to understand your feelings and apply that understanding in your life. People with emotional maturity are good at handling difficult situations in a calm, non-invasive manner.

 

They also know when to reach out for help or acknowledge that they need a break for fear of burning out. This level of self-awareness allows you to identify your emotions and those of others around you. Thus, it will enable you to enjoy better relationships and live a more fulfilling life.

 

Several studies have been carried out on the value of emotional growth, especially in the workforce. Their findings show that the highest performers were those who displayed high levels of emotional maturity.

 

So, it’s not just about regular intelligence anymore. Emotional growth is just as important in both your professional and personal lives.

 

Let’s take a look at five ways to boost emotional growth.

 

Become More Self-Assured

 

Emotionally mature people know how to communicate their thoughts and beliefs in an assertive yet respectful way. They earn people’s respect because they know they come off as neither being too passive nor too aggressive.

 

They’re good at being direct and getting straight to the point. Still, they consider others’ opinions and respect what they have to offer.

 

Learn to Listen

 

There’s a difference between hearing someone speak and actually listening to what they’re saying. Most people just nod their heads as they wait for their turn to speak.

 

But actively listening means you pay close attention to what someone is saying before offering a valid response. It also means you hone in on the speaker’s nonverbal clues. This helps avoid any misunderstanding or mix-up that might take place during the conversation.

 

Maintain a Positive Mindset

 

Your thoughts determine your outlook on life, which determines your behavior. Hence, being aware of your mood and doing what needs to be done to have a good day is a great way to boost your emotional growth.

 

For example, you’re late for a meeting because you got stuck in traffic. Rather than complain and fuss all day over what happened, you can choose to keep an open mind.

 

One way to do that is to write down an uplifting quote that makes you smile and keep it at your desk. You can also practice mindfulness meditation or just go for a walk during your lunch hour.

 

Be Your Own Motivator

 

People who work on their emotional intelligence are self-motivators. They recognize that success comes from the inside. They don’t wait for others to cheer them on or for circumstances to magically align in their favor.

 

Instead, they set goals, and they work hard to attain them. They also remain steadfast in the face of challenges and don’t let setbacks get them down.

 

Empathize with Others

 

Learning how to empathize with others isn’t easy. First, it requires that you take a close look at your own emotions and self-worth, which can be intimidating at first.

 

Yet, once you get past those initial barriers, you’ll find that it’s quite liberating. Empathy is also more about empowerment and emotional strength than anything else.

 

There’s nothing better than being able to relate to others. It’s a great way to find common ground based on mutual respect, despite any differences in opinion or belief people may have.

 

A Final Note

 

Emotional growth, or maturity, is being aware of your feelings and subsequent actions. It’s how you interact with others and listen to what they’re really saying. It’s also your ability to empathize with others and identify with them on a basic human level.

 

By boosting your emotional growth, you have a better understanding of how you see yourself and those around you. As a result, you can achieve more, learn to be proud of your accomplishments, and give yourself the encouragement you need to do even more!