Friendly Persuasion: How To Get The Things You Want And Need

Life is made up of wants and needs. Whether we get our hands on those wants and needs depends on how good we are at convincing others to give them to us. But no one gives out anything without a convincing reason. That’s where your powers of friendly persuasion come in.

 

People generally gravitate towards friendly people. So, if you learn how to come across as nice and trustworthy, then you’ll be able to win over even the most difficult of people.

 

Yet, remember that persuasion is a skill that needs to be honed and perfected. To help you get started, we rounded up five persuasive strategies you can use to get the things you want and need.

 

Be Confident

 

When you talk with poise, you give off the message that you’re convinced of your idea and know that you’re going to get your way. This subconsciously influences the other party to just give you what you want.

 

According to a study done by the University of Leicester, ‘the single significant behavioral difference between persuaders and persuadees was in the expression of confidence.’

In other words, your ability to persuade people starts with your level of assertiveness. In other words, the more confidence you exude, the more powerful your appeal will be.

 

The great thing about confidence is that it’s easy to fake. If you just act confident, the person in front of you won’t be able to tell whether it’s real or made up. So, take a deep breath, stick out your chin, and show them what you’ve got!

 

Just make sure you don’t oversell it. You might come across as arrogant and cocky, which is a big turnoff for most people.

 

Start with a Logical Argument

 

Generally, people are persuaded by logic. Once they’re convinced that something is the right thing for them to do, then they’ll do it without question.

 

Say you’re trying to convince a co-worker to help you out with a pile of work. Their first reaction will be to resist and probably claim they have their own pile of endless files to deal with.

 

Nevertheless, if you use logical reasoning, you may be able to convince them that they’re the best person to help you.

 

You can also tell them that by working together, both of you will finish faster, which will make both of you earn points with the boss and help the company get projects done at a quicker rate.

 

Choose Your Words

 

It’s no secret that some words have more positive connotations than others. Those are the ones you want to use to win over your argument because they have a higher value than others.

 

They can go a long way in helping you persuade people to see your point of view and help you get what you want.

 

For example, ‘reasonable’ sounds much better than ‘okay,’ and a ‘lucrative’ deal makes it sound so much more exciting than simply a ‘good’ deal.

 

Now, we’re not suggesting you memorize a bunch of bulky words and stuff them in your conversation. All we’re merely saying is that you should put in a bit of effort to arrange your sentences for the best possible outcome.

 

For starters, you’ll come across as a skilled communicator. Not only that, but you’ll also sound more intelligent, coherent, and attentive—all of which make you more trustworthy and, ultimately, more persuasive.

 

That’s the power of rhetoric.

 

Highlight How the Other Person Can Benefit

 

Not only do people gravitate towards friendly people who make logical arguments, but they also need to benefit from whatever it is they’re doing.

 

Here’s another example:

 

Imagine that you’re trying to convince your friends to help you move. Of course, their first reaction would be to run for the hills. No one likes all the hassle and headache of moving.

 

But, if you tell them that you’ll have fun sorting through all your old stuff and that you’ll probably give some of your old things away, they may reconsider. You can also tell them that you’re getting pizza and drinks afterward, and they’ll be all in!

 

Use Subtle Flattery

 

You need to be savvy when using this tactic because it can be a bit tricky to master. Not enough flattery and the other party won’t have time to take it in.

 

On the other hand, too much flattery will come across as too blunt or pushy. Then, the other person will quickly catch on and they’ll feel like you’re bribing them with ill-appropriate remarks. Of course, this means you won’t get what you want.

 

Instead, give them sincere, well-thought-out compliments that boost their self-confidence and make them feel good about themselves. As a result, they’ll be more willing to listen to you and give you what you want.

 

8 Power-Ups for Reclaiming Confidence

There is nothing more crippling than losing your confidence.

 

Without confidence, everything gets harder. You struggle to concentrate. Tasks feel overwhelming. If you stay there, you’ll even find a more long-term emotional impact, where you might fall into depression or become bogged down in indecision. Without confidence, you lose all forward progress.

 

This is why it’s so important to reclaim your confidence after suffering a blow. For a fast boost, try these eight power-ups.

 

Do What Makes You Uncomfortable

 

When you take risks, you stretch yourself in surprising new ways. This is a powerful feeling. Why? It takes confidence to step outside your comfort zone. Trying something new forces you to act with confidence, whether you started out feeling it or not.

 

Find Your Purpose

 

Knowing what you’re destined to do is a fantastic feeling and fills a person with confidence. If you’re unsure why you’ve set a particular goal, or are questioning what you’re doing, you’re not likely to feel confident at all. Solidifying the goal in your mind is a rapid boost to confidence then. 

 

Keep Trying

 

It’s normal to experience failure from time to time. This kind of disaster can easily destroy confidence. You regain this confidence when you get up and try again. 

 

Learn Things

 

Knowledge truly is power. When you really understand something inside out, you tend to be very confident (at least in that area). Continually learning new things expands your knowledge base. As a result, your confidence extends in new directions as well. 

 

Drop the Idea Things Have to be Perfect

 

When nothing is ever good enough, confidence falters. How are you supposed to feel sure of yourself when you’re feeling things are always unfinished or lacking somehow? By accepting things as they are, warts and all, you’ll find you’re relax more and even become more confident in what you’re doing because you’re telling yourself that what you have or are doing is exactly what you need.

 

Dress for Success

 

How we present ourselves to the world really can affect our mental state. Wearing what makes you feel good about yourself will restore confidence. A change in attitude is only a change in outfit away.

 

Trust Yourself

 

When you doubt your instincts, you’re telling yourself you don’t really know what you’re doing. This is why it’s so important to ‘go with your gut’ when faced with a challenge. This kind of trust instills confidence in your ability to judge a situation or outcome.

 

Look Forward

 

Confidence has a hard time standing up to ghosts from the past. When you get caught up in your previous failures or uncertainties, confidence falters. Instead, look forward to positive emotions. When you recognize your potential, you start seeing just how amazing you are. 

 

Embrace Imperfection to Raise Self-Worth

Everywhere you look nowadays there is advice on how to strive, beat the competition, be happy, successful, wealthy, thin, married to your soul-mate, have perfect kids, balance work, and life, win the marathon and then come home and make the perfect dinner. In other words, how to be perfect or at least our early twenty-first-century concept of perfect. There are self-help books to improve every conceivable aspect of your life from your personality to your career.

 

But what if striving to be perfect is not the right goal? What if beating yourself up and scheduling and improving isn’t where you should be? Because becoming 'your best you' isn’t about being perfect (and is, in fact, a shortcut to disappointment at best and a breakdown at worst).  Perfection is an illusion, and making it your life’s aim is a damaging mistake. The bottom line is–you will never be perfect. Imperfection is not only inevitable, but it's also okay. And it’s the thing that keeps us moving forward.

 

Perfection is a mirage, and if it's your goal, you are very likely to fall into the trap of carping on yourself when you don’t achieve it. You will have a skewed view of yourself by having the wrong expectations. The more you try, and fail, the worse your self-esteem will become. That is not a recipe for a happy life.

 

Be kind to yourself – if you’re constantly striving for perfection and criticizing yourself for not meeting those impossibly high standards, you’re setting yourself up for a miserable life because you can’t achieve the impossible goal of perfection. 

 

Take a look around you – despite what you see on television and social media, no one is perfect. Ever. At no point in human history has anyone been perfect. People just do their best, most of the time.

 

Embrace your imperfection – it’s part of what makes you human and not a robot (and remember even robots can malfunction!) Imperfection makes you quirky and interesting and brave and admirable. What’s to admire in someone who gets a perfect score first time, compared to someone who worked hard, made mistakes, learned from them and got there in the end? Or didn’t, but gave it their best shot? 

 

Trying to be perfect is choosing to suffer when you don’t need to. Trying to be your best self is a very different proposition. That’s likely to lead you down all sorts of interesting and fulfilling paths if you’re prepared to make mistakes along the way.

 

5 Steps to Effectively Communicate Your Feelings in Relationships

In relationships, there’s communication, and then there’s effective communication. Communication is something that takes a lot of work, and once you’ve successfully positioned yourself as a communicator, the next step is to crack the code at being an effective communicator. If you’re at that step, try these 5 mini steps to help you along with effectively communicating your feelings. 

 

1. Allow Yourself to Feel 

 

Going into a conversation with guilt or apprehension about your feelings? That won’t help you or your partner. You’re completely allowed to feel whatever you’re feeling, and you’re also allowed to talk about those feelings. 

 

2. Label your Feelings

 

You’re experiencing these feelings, but are you reading more into them? Are you labeling them and trying to put into context the essence of your emotions? It’s not easy to do, but it’s a really important exercise for you to do on your own before opening up and sharing with someone else. 

 

3. Start with Yourself

 

If you’re extroverted or you like talking about your feelings a lot, your first inclination may be to talk it out with your significant other. That’s a great thing to do, but it begins with you. You’ll have a hard time processing everything if you’re influenced by someone else’s insight or advice. Start with yourself, and then work your way up to a discussion with your partner. 

 

4. Remember How Much You Matter

 

You matter to your significant other; your feelings matter to your significant other.  Keep this in mind and try to negate the potential fear or hesitation you may be experiencing. Swap those feelings for feelings of confidence and security in the strength of your relationship. 

 

5. Swap “You” for “I”

 

Whenever you get close to saying “You made me feel” or “You did this,” swap it for a personal statement. A conversation is helpful for you to share your perspective – not for you to point fingers at your loved one. Think about how you feel, why you feel that way, and what has happened to contribute to those feelings. 

 

Above all, when you’re entering into a conversation with your significant other, be happy that you’re taking this step. It’s excellent for you and even better for your relationship. Give yourself (and your partner) a pat on the back for working through something difficult, and keep yourself reminded of the light at the end of the communication tunnel – a happy, healthy dynamic between you and your partner. 

 

6 Reasons Unwavering Belief In Yourself Improves Your Relationships

You probably already know how having an unwavering belief in yourself improves your work life or even helps you be more confident in your everyday life. But were you aware of just how much having this kind of self-belief improves your relationships with others?

 

Think about these things:

 

You’ll be More Genuine

 

When we're unsure of ourselves, it's easy to adopt a persona, especially when around people we're hoping to impress. But how do others around you like the 'fake' you? Sooner or later, the reality always comes out, and when it does, your partner will feel betrayed. Even in non-romantic relationships, trying to be something you're not is a sure recipe for disaster.

 

You’ll Contribute More to the Relationship

 

When you’re unsure of yourself, you tend to let the other person make all the decisions or carry the weight of maintaining the relationship. 

 

While some people don’t mind taking the lead, this does lead to an unbalanced relationship which can even turn into codependency if you’re not careful. The question is, do you want a caregiver or a partner?

 

Confidence is Sexy

 

Ask anyone what they notice first about a person, and the answer which comes up more often than any other is, "Confidence." When you see someone who knows who they are, are comfortable in their own skin, and seem to have a clear view of where they're going, you’re just drawn to them naturally.

 

There’s Less Baggage

 

People who believe in themselves don't need to carry the opinion of others around with them anymore. For example, if your ex put you down, you don't care because you know you're worth more than this. More importantly, confidence frees you up to fully enter into new relationships with others without those old expectations or negative emotions to trip you up.

 

You’ll Argue Less

 

If you get into a disagreement with your friend or lover, you'll be less apt to take things personally and more willing to work through the problem. An important bonus? You won't be so caught up in the other person's opinion of you to where you put up with abuse or leave the argument crushed and broken. People with unwavering self-belief know when to walk away from the fight altogether.

 

You Will Be Respected

 

Finally, when you have a strong sense of self-confidence, you have a strong feeling of self-respect, which goes along with it. When others see you treat yourself as worthy of this respect, they are more likely to treat you with respect as well.

 

As a side note, relationships of every variety always work out best if you have a strong feeling of self-worth. The rest of the world already knows confident people are people worth knowing. Now, so are you.

How Can I Be More Supportive In My Relationships?

Do you feel like you aren’t supportive enough of your friends? Or maybe of your significant other? Being supportive in any sort of relationship is an important part of maintaining that relationship. This is especially true in a romantic relationship. Below are a few ways you can work on being more supportive in your relationships to ensure you keep them healthy and strong.

 

Check-In Frequently

 

Everyone has that one friend they haven’t heard from in a while. But the phone and internet work two ways. Don’t be afraid to message or call your friends to check-in. After all, they may be in dire need of support and may just have been too busy to reach out to you. You never know until you check. And even if you live with your significant other, it’s important to ask how their day was because they may not volunteer information that is bothering them until you ask. 

 

Just Listen

 

Sometimes, you may reach out to a friend and find that they need to vent about some things going on in their life for a few minutes. And the best way you can help this friend or significant other is just by sitting quietly and listening to their problems. If they want advice or help, you can offer it, but even the most put-together people just need to vent now and then.

 

Help Lower Their Stress

 

Although you may not solve a problem or situation your significant other may be facing, this doesn’t mean you can’t help lower their stress in other areas of their life. For example, if your husband or wife is experiencing a lot of stress at work, maybe take on a few of their household duties so that when they come home in the evening, they can just relax. You can also do something simple but nice for them, such as an offer to draw them a bath or a shoulder massage, anything which will lower their stress if even just for a few minutes. 

 

Conclusion

 

Being supportive in all of your relationships is no easy task. But you can start by checking in with your friends and significant other frequently, listening to them when they need it, and lowering their stress in any way possible. Not only will this improve your relationship with said individual, but it will also keep the relationship strong for years to come. 

 

4 Simple Ways to Avoid Procrastination When You Work from Home

Working from home is every office worker’s dream, right? But how do you stay on track and not get caught up in those endless procrastination loops? When you don’t have to go into the office, it’s easy to get distracted by all the comforts and demands of home life. Whether it’s a sudden urge to do housework or the immediate need for snacks, before you know it, you’ve frittered away a couple of hours and not got any paid work done. 

So how can you take back control and avoid procrastination when you’re working at home? 

 

1. Make an Office Space

 

Part of your procrastination problem is that your home is a relaxation space. When you’re in an office, everything is geared towards work and getting the job done. Home is about chillaxing, housework, familial responsibilities. You need to carve out some space that is just for your work. A separate home office is a perfect solution, but having a proper desk setup also works. Set yourself up with a water bottle and a bowl of fruit for healthy snacking and to stop those regular trips to the kitchen!

 

2. Learn to Prioritize

 

Be professional in organizing your time. Use a planner or a diary for deadlines and allot time in your day for particular tasks. If you’re a morning person, get your demanding or thought-heavy tasks done in the first half of the day. Conversely, night owls can choose to work late or use morning time to sort emails or do admin. Make a daily task list and check things off as you achieve them. That last achievement will feel like a slam-dunk!

 

3. Stay Motivated

 

Research has shown that lack of motivation is a crucial driver of procrastination. If your motivation is low, there’s little reason to get on with your work. 

 

If you find it hard to stay focused on your work, consider using rewards to boost your motivation. It can be as simple as choosing to do a work task before you check social media or have a movie night to celebrate hitting a milestone. If you’re struggling, try reframing each piece of work as money in your pocket.

 

4. Use Apps

 

Technology can be your friend in defeating procrastination. You can choose from several apps that will freeze distracting social media while you work. You can also choose to have a separate browser that is only used for work. Time tracking apps will help you see what you’re achieving, and as they generate reports, it will also help when it comes time for billing clients. 

6 Changes to Your Schedule to Help You Manage Your Time Like a Pro

You’ve learned some tricks on how to manage your time, whether you’ve learned from a boss, a friend, or on your own. Yet putting those tricks into action is a different story. You have to learn how to make a schedule for yourself, which sounds about as daunting as being your own boss. Take out your self-starter hat and get ready to learn how to manage your time all on your own with these six hacks!

 

1. Leave Wiggle Room Between your Time Blocks

 

Friends, meet buffer-time. No one should have a fully stacked calendar with no time in between for a break. Block out buffer-time on your calendar in between meetings and tasks. Your future self will thank you when your days are more productive, and the hours are less exhausting. 

 

2. Organize Yourself

 

This is a big life change for some people because organization habits don’t always come easily. At first, it may feel like you are spending extra time trying to stay organized, but the payoff is worth it. Here’s a staggering statistic: On average, Americans waste about 2.5 days a year looking for misplaced objects. Don’t be part of that statistic! Find a place for your belongings and always put them back where they belong. This goes for computer files too! Create a simple filing system and save new documents to the correct location. 

 

3. Make Use of the 80-20 Rule

 

Have you ever heard of the Pareto Principle? Otherwise known as the 80-20 rule, this principle says that you can get 80% of the work done in 20% of the time. Similarly, 80% of the results come from 20% of the actions. It can be applied to many things in life, so it’s a great concept to apply to your usage of time. Get in the habit of noticing what tasks get the most results. Spend more time on those actions and cut out some of the responsibilities that take up time but don’t produce the outcomes you are looking for.

 

4. Stop Waiting

 

Every once and a while, you’ll inevitably have to wait for something: at the grocery store, in the doctor’s office, in traffic. Instead of actually waiting, or deferring to your phone for entertainment, do something productive with your time. Listen to a podcast you’ve been dying to try out, read a book on an interesting topic, or write in your journal. Turn waiting time into productive time.

 

5. Organize Your Tasks in Blocks

 

Batch all your similar tasks together. For example, don’t check your email every time someone pings you. If it’s urgent, go right ahead, but otherwise, set a time block every two hours or so to plow through all your emails at one time. This keeps you focused, which is a more efficient way to work. 

 

6. Try to Do Less

 

This may sound like a slacker approach, but it’s not. Believe it or not – we take on way more than we need to, meaning we take on more than is beneficial to our work. If you find yourself planning parties, chatting with your coworkers, and dabbling in another department’s workload, you may have spread yourself to thin. By doing that, you’re not helping yourself or your peers. In the end, you could wind up letting down people because you overpromise and under-deliver. 

 

5 Simple, Yet Effective Time Management Tasks You Should Start Using Today

Are you trying to become an expert time manager? Have you noticed you don’t spend your time well throughout the day? We could keep going with these questions all day, but that would be a waste of time, right? We’re going to jump into five simple, yet effective time management tasks you should incorporate into your daily life. 

 

1. Track your Time

 

If someone asked you how long you spend reading emails every day, what would you say? What about your lunch break? Chances are, you don’t really know how long you spend on certain time blocks of the day. Start tracking your time and learn how to make changes so you can maximize it. 

 

2. Set up Time Blocks

 

When you have a certain set of tasks to do every day, set up time blocks for yourself. Give yourself 2 hours to do one thing and then 1 hour for another. It becomes a competition against yourself because you’ll be rushing to beat the clock, competing against yourself.

 

3. Plan it out

 

Morning person or a night owl, it doesn’t matter. Use the beginning and the end of your day to make a plan and try your best to stick to it. Before you leave work at night, write a list of important tasks to get done the next day. In the morning, prioritize your list and review the items. Then, get to work!

 

4. Get it out of the Way 

 

Eat that frog – Mark Twain said it himself. Pick the most important, and most dreaded, tasks first, and knock them out first thing in the morning. It’s such a relief once you finish them, and then the rest of your day is devoted to tasks that you care more about and find more challenging. 

 

5. Delegate When You Can

 

If you have a task on your plate that a subordinate could do (maybe even better than you could), delegate it to them. Some people worry that this is a bad work ethic, but it’s part of company culture. You’re all on the same team, so it’s a matter of asking for help rather than being lazy. Understand what your point of genius is and use your time for those important tasks while handing off things that you aren’t great at or that are below your paygrade. 

 

We kept it simple with these tasks. Time management is an art worth perfecting, and you’ll get there. Check-in with yourself (and the clock), and make sure you’re really optimizing the hours you get in the day. And if you don’t, fear not! There’s always tomorrow. It’s a constant work in progress, so do your best, and the rest will fall in place. 

 

7 Tips for Creating a Simple Morning Routine at Work

When you want to create a better day for yourself, you need to start out where you begin. This means having a morning routine at work as well as at home.

 

Think about this for a moment. A morning routine at home will set you up for success by getting you out of bed and ready to transition into wakefulness. 

 

Likewise, a morning routine at work can get you settled into a mindset of getting work done and ready to face the work world. Think of it as a series of steps designed to transition you into productivity.

 

How can you do this?

 

Start with How You Get There

 

Don't arrive stressed out at the very last second. To set yourself up for success, it's important to arrive with time to spare after a relaxing commute. Strategize to make this happen by allowing enough time to get where you need to go. Also, consider your route. Heavy traffic or construction is always more stressful in the long run, so you might want to adapt your route to a quieter one to reduce unwanted stress.

 

Schedule Check

 

What do you have going on today? What work is expected from you by what time? Get a mental picture of the day by noting what needs to happen when.

 

Set-Up

 

What needs to happen so you can get your work done? Are you lacking supplies or resources? Are there things you might need to delegate? Taking a few minutes to track down these items will help the rest of your day run more smoothly.

 

Habit Check

 

What detractors are already pulling at you, trying to derail your day? If you're someone who checks your phone often or can get caught up socializing with coworkers, think about how you can limit these activities as part of your routine. For example, you might want to schedule email checks at certain times or limit socialization to break times.

 

Make a List

 

Jotting down the 3-to 4 big items you want to get done today will help give you a clearer view of what needs doing and set up your goals.

 

Get Comfortable

 

Before you buckle down to work, do you need coffee? A Bathroom break? Do these things now, so you don't have to break concentration later. Also, take a minute to stretch if you haven't yet.

 

Begin

 

Time to get going. Take the first item on your list and dive in, concentrating fully on what you’re doing.

 

Of course, adapt your routine to fit whatever you need to get started for the day. The key here is to be intentional in your actions, shift your mindset, and set yourself up for success. Do only what works for you.