It's Never Too Late to Learn That Tomorrow Never Comes

If you have a few dirty dishes in the sink, no worries. You can always get to them tomorrow. You don't feel like doing them right now, and that's okay. There's always tomorrow. Wrong! Tomorrow never comes. All you ever have is the present moment. There's this moment in time right now, and that's it.

 

You're probably thinking that tomorrow is almost on the horizon already. If today's Monday, you know tomorrow is Tuesday. We get that. What we mean is that if you regularly adopt the policy that you can do today's tasks tomorrow, you will eventually see a tomorrow with too much to accomplish. You'll have tons on your plate because you kept procrastinating, and your responsibilities have piled up.

 

The Negative Power of Procrastination

 

SolvingProcrastination.com is a website all about, you guessed it, procrastination. They want to share a lesson that time eventually teaches us all. Procrastination is dangerous.

 

If putting things off hasn't caused any real harm in your life, good for you. The problem is, that scenario might be telling you that if you procrastinate every now and then, what's the big deal? Don't fall into that mindset, that way of thinking.

 

The negative effects of procrastination are plenty. How serious are they? Check out this warning published on the website we just mentioned.

 

"Procrastination is associated with a variety of dangers and negative effects, including worse academic performance, worse financial status, increased interpersonal relationship issues, reduced well-being, and worse mental and physical health."

 

That's rather scary. What's even more bothersome is that the person who procrastinates often gets dealt with several of those issues simultaneously. They're closely related because of certain behaviors. 

 

Frequently putting things off can be very stressful. That stress attacks the body internally. Your overall health and well-being worsen, and you might have self-esteem issues because you never accomplish everything.

 

Do It Today or Write It Down

 

If you've got something small to do, something that doesn't take much time, do it. Stop reading this right now and go and do it. If it requires more time, planning, or the accumulation of resources, break out your day planner. Write it down. Schedule it. You get much more done in your life when you write things down. This has been proven in several studies.

 

Stop procrastinating. It can wreck your mental and physical health. Procrastination ruins relationships and does damage in so many other ways. Stop putting things off unnecessarily. This is a lesson life's ticking clock eventually teaches all of us, but you were reminded of it today, so you've got a jump on Father Time.

Personal Autonomy: Strengthening Your Ability to Be Independent

Lately, the discussion has been focused on how to reach a level of personal freedom in your life that helps you achieve life goals. Being independent and practicing personal autonomy has its advantages, like having no one to answer to but yourself.

 

it encourages you to become self-aware while taking in the big picture. So, you’re not just focused purely on your needs, but you recognize that you’re part of a thriving community, with certain responsibilities, privileges, and freedoms.

 

Interested in finding out how your personal autonomy can strengthen your ability to become independent? Then, keep reading!

 

What Is Personal Autonomy?

 

There are several ways to describe personal autonomy, from being free to follow your heart to having a sense of determination and self-endorsement. Yet, the simplest explanation is that personal autonomy is your ability to act on your interests and core values.

 

Having that drive to keep you on track makes it easier to live on your own terms and live according to your desires and personal beliefs rather than being goaded to conform to someone else’s beliefs.

 

Yet, at the same time, personal autonomy requires a high degree of responsibility. You have to make informed decisions and learn how to back them up and take ownership of things when anything goes wrong. 

 

It also means that you’re able to manage yourself and take initiative when needed. It’s all about getting things done consistently without needing anyone to remind you.

 

How Can Personal Autonomy Strengthen Your Ability to Be Independent?

 

Now that we know what personal autonomy means, let’s look at some ways it can help boost your independence.

 

Have Initiative

 

Having personal autonomy means trying new things. They don’t have to be big things; they can even be trying that new coffee spot you’ve been eyeing for a couple of weeks.

 

Then, step by step, you’ll be able to go on to larger tasks. For example, you can try getting ahead start on a work presentation earlier in the week to avoid having to deal with that dreaded deadline looming overhead.

 

You could also show initiative at work by taking on additional tasks or doing a bit of research on your own regarding a certain project.

 

Initiative doesn’t have to be at work only. Why not take up a DIY project you’ve been wanting to try out? How about volunteering several hours a week at a local shelter or soup kitchen?

 

Get Organized

 

Being organized doesn’t just mean tidying up your workspace, picking scattered documents off the floor, or alphabetizing your bookshelf. Don’t get me wrong, all that sounds great! But it’s not enough for personal autonomy.

 

To actually become independent, you need to learn how to organize and manage your time and money. Luckily, dozens of life-saving apps can help you do just that.

 

Start by writing down all the things you do during a typical workday. Then, expand it to a whole week and eventually to an entire month. Don’t forget to schedule how long each task or activity takes. Also, remember to include any chores, errands, appointments, or sports events going on during that time.

 

An independent person is capable of efficiently mapping out their schedule. They’ll also be able to remove or postpone certain tasks if things get too hectic.

 

Be Responsible

 

We also talk about being responsible, but what does it actually mean?

 

Basically, responsibility is knowing what you have to do, getting it done on time, and taking credit for your hard work. You’re dependable, you honor your commitments, and keep your word no matter what.

 

That’s the cheerful side of responsibility. You’ll know you’ve made it when you feel that you’re on top of your game and everyone is singing your praises.

 

Yet, it’s not always so bright and cheery, especially when you have to muster up the courage to hold yourself accountable instead of coming up with excuses or blaming others when things don’t go as planned. Let’s be honest here, sometimes that can be easier said than done.

 

Yet, as soon as you admit that you were wrong about so-and-so, or that you failed to meet certain deadlines, you’ll instantly feel better. Then, you’ll be able to move on from that and work towards fixing what needs to be fixed.

 

3 Simple Steps to Reprogram Your Mind

It is a known fact that our minds, more specifically our subconscious minds, control our lives. We are what we think or believe. Research has shown that there is a mind-body connection and that the mind can help us overcome health problems.

 

There are many ways to reprogram your mind: NLP, hypnosis, visualization, EFT, havening, affirmations and coaching. The method you choose will depend on your mind-set and budget.

 

You may feel able to make positive changes on your own with a little knowledge and some resources. You can find a ton of information online or by going to your local library.

 

If you need help then there are hypnotherapists, NLP practitioners, and coaches that can be hired to work with you.

 

Whichever route you choose one element that is crucial is your attitude. For any method to be successful in creating change in the subconscious you have to want the change and to believe totally in its success. You cannot succeed without this belief.

 

While every method is different, there are three steps that each method uses to reprogram your mind.

 

Step 1: Relax. To achieve relaxation you have to take your brain to Alpha level. This is the level where you are able to 'speak' directly with the subconscious. Alpha level brainwaves are experienced first thing in the morning as you first awaken and last thing at night just before you go to sleep. In Alpha level you are awake (conscious) and aware of your surroundings but your subconscious is fully alert and you are most responsive to learning and accepting new ideas.

 

You can achieve Alpha level by practising relaxation techniques.

 

Step 2: Visualize. Picture your goal as an image or movie with you 'in the moment'. It must be in the present so you must be living it. Use all of your senses to make it as real as possible. Tell a story and if you can add some humor even better. Your subconscious loves stories and it loves humor. By fully engaging your senses it becomes more real. Make the scenes really bright and colorful. Hear the sounds, Feel the emotions. Touch and taste things.

 

When visualizing always answer these questions:

 

• What can you see?

• What can you hear?

• What can you feel (Physical touch as well as emotions)?

• What can you smell?

• What can you taste?

 

Step 3: Affirm. While visualizing yourself living your goal it is also important to affirm this. You can either say your affirmations out loud or just think them. To make them even more powerful and effective you can write them down and display them wherever you will see them regularly throughout your day. You can also record yourself saying them out loud and listen to them first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

 

Affirmations must be:

 

• In the present tense.

• Said with positive conviction (You must believe in what you are saying).

• Include emotion.

 

For example: I am giving a presentation to my department and superiors. I am standing at the front of the room. I feel confident and calm. I am speaking with conviction. I know my topic. My presentation is interesting and fun to give. The audience are listening intently. They are smiling and nodding their heads as I speak. My voice is confident and easy to hear, even at the back of the room. I am standing tall wearing my favourite navy suit. I feel smart.

 

Knowing these three simple steps can help you successfully program your mind for positive change.

 

5 Brain Hacks to Build Your Belief in Yourself

There's just aren’t enough hours in the day to do everything you want. We find ourselves caught up in a slew of obligations involving everything from work to taking care of our families. In the end, who has time to better themselves?

 

Or are there enough hours after all?

 

If your self-belief is dragging, the last thing you need is to put yourself on the back burner. Why? Because you need self-belief if you’re going to succeed in your life. Thankfully, there’s help. Keep reading to discover five brain hacks guaranteed to build your belief in yourself, without taking up a lot of your extra time.

 

Affirmations

 

You’ve probably already seen a lot about positive affirmations, mostly because they actually work! By writing out several statements to encourage yourself, and then making an honest effort to read them daily (especially out loud) you’ll find after a while, you start believing them. How to make them work with minimal effort? Write them on sticky notes and place them around your house where you’ll find as you go about your daily life. Make a point of reading them when you find them.

 

Work Your Subconscious

 

The beauty of our brains is we don’t always realize how much is being processed without our awareness. Put positive reminders around that trigger feelings of confidence and contentment. Won an award? Hang it where you can see it. That letter of commendation? Why not frame it?

 

Journal

 

We process things better when we write them down. Keep a journal and write about the things you’ve accomplished each day. Add in what inspires you, and notes toward positive growth. Re-read previous passages to remind you of how far you’ve come.

 

Watch the Talk

 

If that internal voice is what’s getting you down, it’s time to tell your inner critic to shut up and find somewhere else to live. Put a stop to negative self-talk. Instead, substitute more positive variations on what’s being said. Replace lies with truths about how much you’ve already done, and how awesome you truly are.

 

Meditate

 

You don’t have to dedicate an hour for meditation to be effective. Taking even 10 or fifteen minutes to empty your mind and relax will help you focus inward. If you have a little more time, try a guided meditation, focusing on one of your affirmations for an extra positive jolt.

 

None of these items has to take long to be effective. The key is to repeat these steps daily until they become a habit. Before you know it, your confidence will rise. Self-belief is ready to open the door to a more productive, happy, and successful life.

5 Tips for More Effective Conflict Resolution

Conflicts are bound to happen, whether at home, at work, or in between. Unfortunately, what can start as something trivial can quickly escalate to something much more serious in a matter of minutes.

 

That’s why it pays to know how to effectively resolve any conflict you find yourself in. This way, you can create some healthy boundaries and balance your emotions without creating unnecessary stress and anxiety.

 

Here are five tips for more effective conflict resolution that will help you out of any jam. Take a look.

 

Tip #1: Find the Source of the Conflict

 

The first step in conflict resolution is to identify the source of the problem. Once you identify the issue, you can start taking the right measures toward fixing it.

 

On the other hand, if you carry on without knowing exactly why you’re feeling the way you do, you’ll be angry and all worked up without really knowing why.

 

So, while it may seem like a waste of time at first, if you think about it, you can’t solve any problem unless you first find the source of the problem.

 

Here’s another way of looking at it:

 

When you identify the root cause of the issue, everyone involved can help strive towards not repeating the same thing in the future.

 

Tip #2: Find a Quiet and Safe Place to Talk

 

Once you understand the underlying causes of the conflict, it’s time to bring in the other person if you haven’t already. The thing about conflict is that you have to nip it in the bud and address it in a timely manner, so it doesn’t manifest into something bigger over time.

 

Remember that there’s nothing wrong with having a difference of opinion every now and then. Yet, it’s how you communicate that makes all the difference in the world!

 

However, we’ve all been in similar situations and it can be daunting to try and engage in this type of discourse. Yet, you have to muster up the courage and just start because the sooner you deal with it, the better the outcome will be.

 

Tip #3: Actively Listen

 

Active listening plays a big role in determining the way your conflict resolution proceeds. So, you have to be patient when it’s the other person’s turn to speak.

 

Write down any rebuttals that pop into your head to avoid interrupting them.

 

Show that you respect the other person’s emotions and point of view. This way, they’ll make it a point to try and do the same when it’s your turn to speak.

 

Tip #4: Point Out Ways to Solve the Problem

 

After each person has had their chance to talk and listen, the next step is to try and find some sort of middle ground that both parties can agree on.

 

You’ll probably need a pen and paper or a board to write down your ideas. Then start brainstorming.

 

Write out all the ideas that come, even the crazy ones. Those are usually the ones that lead to an effective end to the problem.

 

Although, there’s one critical thing to always remember when working to resolve any conflict, and that’s to only focus on the issue at hand and not the person.

 

This will help make the other person feel safe enough to start finding ways to solve the issue, rather than always be on the defensive or feel like they’re constantly being judged.

 

Tip #5: Agree on the Best Solution

 

Finding common ground can be easier said than done. It requires each party to own up to their part of the conflict.

 

Not only that, but it also means they have to put in the effort of looking for a suitable compromise. Plus, they have to take the necessary steps to resolve it and make sure it doesn’t happen again.

 

That can only take place once all parties have set clear expectations while respecting the other person’s differences. Also, it’s helpful to think of conflict as an opportunity to grow. When it’s managed properly, it can bring great insight and help you become more attuned to your needs and the needs of those around you.

 

The good news is that after opening up communication lines, taking the time to listen, and collaborating on solutions, it’s all downhill from there. It becomes easier to establish neutral ground where everyone feels comfortable speaking and sharing ideas.

 

Bringing Out The Best In Others

When you take the time to bring out the best in others, you may find that it is enough to change the world. Everyone has something that makes them unique and special, something that makes them stand out from the crowd. But not everyone knows what that is or how to find their unique talents. They may assume that they are not as good as others and their self-esteem is going to falter as well. 

 

You could be the change that will help them to see the best in themselves, the champion behind them that will never let them fall behind. Some of the ways that you can bring out the best in others include:

 

Be Generous

 

To start, you need to be generous. Give others your time and energy. Even more importantly, give them the benefit of the doubt. Believe in them, even when they fail or stumble and struggle to believe in themselves. It takes no talent to believe in someone who is already reaching their goals and knocking down all the walls. The hard thing is to see some of the talents that are buried deep inside someone, especially when that person doesn’t even know that talent is there. 

 

Be Open-Minded

 

Talent can take a lot of different forms and it can bring someone into unusual situations. Many of the most talented people you may meet throughout your life will be completely different than you. For example, maybe you like to have things quiet and this person likes to be loud and outgoing. The greatest talent in seeing the best in others is to get past some of your own biases. Kick that to the curb and see what a difference it makes. 

 

Be Clear

 

When you want to bring out the best in others, your role is to be clear and interact with other people. If you want to do this, you need to collaborate, foster talent, and be there for the other person. You don’t have to be the most capable or the smartest or the best person in the room. You just need to be clear and ready to listen and learn along the way. Let the other person know that you value them and would like to be there for them as they learn more about their talents as well. 

 

Be Persistent

 

It is never easy when it is time to foster talent. The other person can get discouraged and often distracted. They can come to rely on you to do most of the work, rather than taking on the initiative and using some of their talents and skills. This is natural because finding talent can be difficult and some people may get discouraged. Your goal is to be persistent with them and not let them give up at all. You can be there to help others, but your job is not to do the work for them. With some good persistence, you will be able to help them reach their goals and they will be proud that they put in the work themselves. 

 

Be Present

 

You need to pay attention and be present to spot the talent in other people. You need to be able to find some of the smallest clues because most people don’t know their talents and so will not show them off to you in the process. You have to be curious to learn more about that person and then be present enough to show that you care and want to be there for them as well. The greater your ability to pay attention, the more talent you can find for other people. 

 

Developing Willpower And Self-Control To Change Behavior

Willpower and self-control are crucial ingredients for success, transformation, and mastery. So, how can you develop each one to change your behavior and thought process for the better? Keep reading to find out.

 

Willpower

 

The spiritual leader and activist, Mahatma Gandhi, said, “Strength doesn’t come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will [power].” Yet, what exactly is willpower?

 

Basically, willpower is your ability to turn down and curb inner conflicts, such as short-term temptations, to meet long-term goals.

 

Say you want to supersize your takeout order or smoke a cigarette. But, deep down, you know you shouldn’t.

 

Or it could just as easily be the reverse. Maybe there’s something you know you should do, but keep procrastinating to avoid doing it, like going to the gym or filing your taxes.

 

When you reach this crossroads, that’s when your willpower kicks in. This instantaneous reaction stems from the prefrontal cortex (PFC), which is the front section of the brain responsible for regulating our behavior and decision-making abilities.

 

So, the first thing you need to do to develop your willpower is to keep your prefrontal cortex in good shape by:

 

• Getting quality sleep each night

• Eating a nutritious, well-balanced diet

• Exercising 3–5 times a week

• Managing stress

 

Can We Run Out of Willpower?

 

Interestingly enough, experts say that we have a finite stockpile of willpower. You start your day with only so much and the more you use it, the faster you run out.

 

Take, for example, trying to control your temper on your way to work, at work, then on your way back home from work. You also use up your willpower when you try to ignore distractions, help your kids with their homework, and negotiate a compromise with your partner.

 

Just like our actual muscles, our willpower gets worn out from all that repetitive use.

 

How to Develop Your Willpower

 

Check out these tips to increase your reserve of willpower.

 

• Learn breathing techniques

• Practice daily affirmations

• Meditate each day

• Focus on what’s important now by postponing what you shouldn’t do for later

• Limit your intake of addictive substances, like alcohol and nicotine

 

Self-Control

 

Self-control is defined as the “restraint exercised over one’s impulses, emotions, or desires” and works side-by-side with willpower. When you practice self-control, you direct your willpower toward the outcome you want.

 

This means that at times, you’ll have to not do something, like when you want to eat healthy and pass on the supersize meal. It also means that there will be times when you have to put in a conscious effort to dosomething, like building good habits or getting started on those taxes.

 

Ego Depletion

 

And, as with willpower, it’s also finite. In other words, each time you use self-control, your power to make sound decisions gradually diminishes until you start again the following morning. This is what experts refer to as ‘ego depletion’ and it happens because you spend most of your waking hours trying your best to focus on making decisions and exerting your willpower.

 

So, it’s no surprise that by the end of the day, you feel depleted and exhausted, and probably find it difficult to think coherently, let alone be able to make choices you won’t regret in the morning.

 

How to Develop Self-Control

 

Luckily, there are ways to improve your levels of self-control and reduce the impact of ego depletion. Many of them rely on the same techniques used to boost your willpower, like getting good sleep and managing stress, while others are slightly different.

 

Take a look.

 

• Learn how to regulate your emotions.

• Practice self-compassion.

• Become aware of your wants and needs to direct energy toward self-improvement.

• Manage your time and energy more efficiently.

• Create short and long-term goals to stay motivated.

 

The Stress Relieving Value of Accepting Your Differences

Were you ever teased as a child? A lot of us were. Some kids will make fun of others who are fatter or skinnier, taller or shorter, or different in some other way. They, unfortunately, learn this behavior from adults who likewise chastise their colleagues, friends, and others for nothing more than being different.

 

This becomes a big problem when several children attack another child and declare some difference to be negative. When this behavior is ongoing, the different child can begin to feel low self-worth. After all, if everyone is telling her that she's different and that her differences aren't good, they must be right.

 

Why else would they all be saying the same thing? That child becomes upset with the person she sees in the mirror. Why is she overweight? Why is her skin different from others? Why wasn't she given the intelligence that all her friends have? This leads to self-doubt, low self-esteem, and in some cases, risky and unsafe behavior.

 

Stress Is a Killer, but It Doesn't Have To Be

 

Obviously, that's a very stressful scenario. Unfortunately, this is a common situation for not just children but teens, young adults, and even older grown-ups.

 

It causes so much stress, both physical and mental. The stress starts to build up because the differences are seen as negative. The marvelous, unique individual that was created is not allowed to be who they really are. They try not to be themselves.

 

On the physiological side of the equation, this chronic stress produces chemicals that lead to anxiety, depression, and other negative feelings. Ask any doctor, and they'll tell you stress is related to most chronic illnesses and many major causes of death.

 

Your differences don't have to be stressful. They shouldn't be. When you embrace who you are, you realize you have much to offer the world. You're fine just like you are right now. This leads to confidence and less stress. You aren't as anxious about trying to please others by fitting into some silly idea they have of who you should be.

 

Your confidence and self-esteem go up when you accept and love your differences. 

 

You'll also find that certain people in your life want to manipulate you rather than accept who you are. Perhaps you should move on from these people and spend more time with supportive individuals who encourage your uniqueness.

 

Be happy with who you are. You're the only "you" that will ever be created. There will never be another human being exactly like you. When you embrace that fact and look at your differences as advantages, you'll suffer less stress and anxiety and enjoy more self-love, fulfillment, and success.

 

How Avoidance Actually Creates More Stress

When you have an especially difficult or stressful task on your plate, it can be very tempting to avoid completing said task. Or if you don’t like to think about a subject because of an experience, it can seem easier to just not think about that topic. Both of these situations are known as avoidance, and though it may be tempting to engage in this behavior, it causes more stress than it relieves. 

 

You Won’t Stop Thinking About It

 

If you’ve ever experienced trauma, it can be tempting to avoid all thoughts of things that may remind you of the trauma you experienced. Although this may be less painful in the short run, the truth is, long term, this will stress you out more because the thoughts of your trauma will always return until you genuinely learn to deal with them rather than avoid them. The same holds for certain physical tasks. You may put them off because you don’t want to think about them, but this will only stress you out more because you will have to keep thinking about the task instead of simply completing it now.

 

You’ll Run Out Of Time

 

When you put off a task, you may momentarily relieve your stress by telling yourself you will complete the task later. But this is worse than doing the job now because later you will experience more pressure as you are faced with a fast-approaching deadline. This is especially true if you haven’t left yourself enough time to complete the task and have to rush at the last minute. 

 

Avoidance Creates Conflict

 

Maybe a coworker is waiting for you to complete your work so they can get started on theirs. And if you didn’t leave yourself enough time before the deadline, you may cause them to be late on meeting their deadline as well. This can cause a conflict between you as your coworker may be upset that you made them late. And when you experience conflict in your relationships, this only adds to your overall stress level rather than lowering it.

 

Although it can be extremely tempting to avoid certain tasks or put them off, this is a flawed approach as it will only cause you more stress in the long run. This is because avoidance doesn’t solve any problems. Instead, it just creates conflict, which leads to increased stress in the future.

 

If You Want Less Stress and Anxiety, Learn to Empathize More

Stress is a killer. You might hear someone say, "The stress at my job is killing me!" They could be overstating the situation. In many cases though, stress can quite literally kill you.

 

Chronic stress is related to the six leading causes of death. It's believed that more than 75% of all trips to the emergency room or a doctor are stress-related. So the next time a friend tells you stress is killing him, you might want to take that statement seriously.

 

Ask anyone you know and they'll tell you of a stressful situation they experienced recently. This is an unfortunately common occurrence. You might have too much stress in your own life.

 

For a number of reasons, you can benefit from stressing less and relaxing more often. If that sounds like something you'd enjoy, just learn to empathize more.

 

How Empathy Leads to Less Stress and Depression

 

An empathetic person can place themselves in the emotional experience of someone else. That's the first part of empathy. The part of the empathetic process some people forget is responding in a way that's helpful.

 

You see a coworker has a huge workload. She's stressing out and you know there's no possible way she can hit a proposed deadline. You communicate to her that even though her productivity is excellent and she's a great worker, you don't know how she's going to get everything done. 

 

You just paid her a compliment. You saw her emotions were frazzled and she wasn't in a good place mentally. So, you said something nice about her ability on the job.

 

The next thing you can do after you identify with her situation is to provide assistance. Offer to help her tackle some of her responsibilities. When you do, your coworker will thank you. She'll experience less stress, and science tells us that you'll also have less stress, anxiety and depression.

 

When you learn to recognize that someone else is experiencing negative emotions, you want to help. This is the response for most people. What also happens is that you subconsciously recognize that you're not in that situation. You can understand your coworker's emotional stress, but you aren't experiencing the same thing yourself.

 

Dr. Jamil Zaki is a psychology professor and the director of the Social Neuroscience Laboratory in Stanford. He says empathy can help you see past the many differences people have. It helps you move past prejudice or bias. These are negative emotions. They can produce a stress response in your body. Empathy doesn't allow that to develop.

 

Dr. Zaki also says empathy makes people happier in their relationships and even more successful at work. Studies show us that an empathetic person learns how to process his or her own emotions properly by being able to recognize the emotions other people are going through. That means being more empathetic in your life cannot only help others, but it can also give you a wonderful boost of less stress and more peace of mind.