Are your Toxic Friends Lowering Your Self-Esteem?

Do you have toxic friends? Are there people in your friendship group that seem to be intent on bringing you down instead of lifting you up? Your toxic friends can be damaging to your health and your self-esteem. 

 

How can you tell if a friend is toxic?

 

• Do they focus on your weaknesses or bad points, even if it’s “only joking?”

• Do they criticize your clothes, appearance, choices or actions?

• Do they let you down, like “forgetting” to show up for dates?

• Do they borrow money, but don’t pay it back?

• Do they try and pressure you into doing things when you don’t want to?

• Do they always talk about themselves and their problems and never about yours?

• Do they talk up their lives, but are negative or dismissive about yours?

• Do you have to make all the organizing for trips, dinners, or even just staying in touch?

• Are they happy and celebrate your successes? Or do they snipe or criticize? 

• Do they stand you up, even if you organized that vacation, dinner, or party months ago?

 

If someone is continually telling you that you need to lose weight, or you’ll never get a good job or write that book, they are not your friend. If they borrow money or your car or your clothes, they are subliminally (and not very subtly) telling you that you’re not worth much at all. If they treat you like a doormat, sooner or later you’ll come to believe you’re a doormat. 

 

Toxic friends are holding up a distorting mirror - showing you a negative reflection that is not you - it’s a part of them. But this reflection can undermine your self-esteem and leave you feeling powerless. You don’t need that in your life. 

 

Friends are supposed to add to your life, to make you feel good, to be there for you when times are tough, to support you, and celebrate the good times. Toxic friends continually let you down and undermine you. Bad friendships can affect your physical and mental health, leading to high blood pressure, lower immunity, depression, and anxiety. Research has shown that supportive friendships can boost your immune system and people with good friends even live longer!

 

So, take a look at the so-called friends who don’t make you feel good about yourself and decide whether you want them in your life or not. You can choose to let them fade out of your life, allowing more time to make real friends. 

 

6 Things You Can Do Right Now to Change Your Life and Stop Worrying

Worry gets in to all the crevices of our lives. We worry about our jobs, our kids, our relationships, money, and a million other things every single day. It’s no wonder we feel like we’re not getting things done the way we’d like.

 

Thankfully, it doesn’t have to be this way. To change your life and stop worrying, ask yourself these quick questions:

 

What Are You Really Worried About?

 

Many times, worry is a mask for something else entirely. A hard look and some pointed questions might be necessary to get to the heart of the matter. On the other hand, once you have a clear understanding of what the real issue is, it’s easier to address the problem and stamp out the worry completely.

 

Is This Even Possible?

 

Worry inflates everything to monster proportions. If your worry seems slightly ridiculous, it probably is. Take a step back and ask yourself just how likely this outcome is. Worry can’t stand up under this kind of scrutiny.

 

Is This Something I can Control?

 

We’re very good at worrying about something we can’t change. Seriously, what difference does it make if it snows tomorrow? Nothing we do can keep the flakes from falling. Accept sometimes you’re just going to have to go with the flow and adapt to the circumstances.

 

Does this Affect Me Today?

 

Worries about the future can really derail your life today. If you’re worried about something far off, it’s time to take a step back. Ask yourself a fundamental follow-up question if you’re concerned about the future: “Is there something I can do today that will prevent this outcome tomorrow?” If so, now you have a plan of action. Get to it!

 

Am I Spending Too Much Time?

 

Obsessive worry doesn’t help anyone. If you find yourself circling back to the same concern over and over, you might need help breaking out of this cycle. Consider talking to someone, such as a good friend or even a counselor or trained professional, to help you break out of this vicious cycle.

 

Why Do I Care What Others Think?

 

If you’re worried about the opinions of others, why? If you’re concerned about impressing your boss, there are better ways to do this than worrying. More often than not, though, you’re going to find most people’s opinions really don’t matter. Don’t let them get to you.

 

Once you have the answers to these questions, you’ll find it’s easy to get your thoughts back on track. Worry becomes a thing of the past when we’re mindful of it, and don’t let it become obsessive. Imagine the difference a life without so much worry will make.

Becoming A Morning Person (Infographic)

 

Top Tips For Becoming An Early Riser

When it comes to time management, we often say that we all have the same amount of time each day; it comes down to how we use it. While those are wise words, could there still be a way to get an edge? Becoming an early riser is one way we can gain an edge. We can't just create more time but getting up earlier can make it feel like we have. Those quiet mornings where you are alone with yourself, and your thoughts can be some of the most productive minutes of your day. If you struggle with getting up in the morning, consider these nine ways you can become an early riser.

 

1. Start the Night Before

 

The more you prepare the night before, the less stress you will have when you wake up. Think about what will make the morning less hectic. Would packing your lunch ease some of the morning chaos? Maybe placing your briefcase, purse, or other bags on a launch pad near the door helps.

 

2. Get to Bed Earlier

 

Rising earlier doesn’t mean you can go to bed at your usual time and get up rested. Your body still needs the same hours of sleep, so plan on shifting your bedtime to accommodate your new rise time. If you need seven hours of sleep and want to get up by 5 AM, you should aim to be in bed by 10 PM.

 

3. Develop a Bedtime Routine

 

Parents understand the benefits of holding to a bedtime routine for their kids. Why not think about what you do each evening before you go to bed that helps relax you. Maybe you enjoy a warm bath or reading in bed to help you wind down. Train your body that these activities mean bedtime is on the horizon.

 

4. Avoid Screen Time Before Bed

 

The backlighting of phones, computers, and televisions keeps your brain busy even if you scroll through social media to relax. Instead, give yourself a media curfew to let your mind and brain wind down before bed. 

 

5. Ease into the New Alarm Time

 

Setting your alarm two hours before your usual time to get up may put your body into shock. You may also find that you don’t make it two days before you are back into old patterns. It benefits many to slowly turn the alarm back by 15-20 minutes each day until they get to their ideal wake-up time. 

 

6. Place the Alarm Across the Room

 

It is much easier to hit the snooze button if your alarm clock is next to your head. By putting it across the room, you force your body to get up and get moving, and you stand a better chance of staying up. 

 

7. Get Out of Bed Right Away

 

It is easy to rationalize sneaking in just five more minutes. Soon, five minutes turns to ten minutes, and you are now oversleeping. Immediately getting out of bed sends signals to your body that sleep is over and it’s time to start a new day. 

 

8. Establish a Morning Routine

 

Whatever you decide to do, you train your brain and body what is supposed to happen after jumping out of bed. You may include meditation, prayer, exercise, showering, and eating breakfast. You may find that your body does this routine out of muscle memory eventually.

 

9. Stick to the Plan Even on Weekends

 

For the best benefits, try to go to bed and get up at the same times seven days a week. You don’t have to jump into the same activities as on weekdays, but you can develop the early riser habit faster if you stick to it seven days a week. So, go ahead and enjoy a second cup of coffee while listening to morning jazz.

 

6 Ways to Deal with Naysayers and Crush Your Goals

Taking a leap of faith for yourself is an already daunting and challenging path. Naysayers or Negative Nancy’s only make the journey that much more difficult. You do not need their pessimism, nor do you have to deal with it. There are several ways to deal with these individuals so you can move past them and crush your goals.

 

1. Distance Yourself from the Negative

 

If possible, put space between those individuals and your goals. Continually listening to doubt will eventually manifest into challenging yourself. If you cannot distance yourself from a naysayer, have an honest conversation with them. Explain that you don’t have to have their support, but their discouragement is not welcome. Be polite but firm.

 

2. Bolster Yourself with Support

 

Once you have pushed away the negative, bring in the support. Surrounding yourself with people that believe in your goals will allow you to be yourself and unapologetically go after what you want. The support you receive from others will act as reassurance on the path you are taking, and they will help pick you up when times are tough.

 

3. No Justification Necessary

 

You do not have to justify yourself, your goals, or the path you are taking to anyone. Everyone is different, no two people live identical lives or achieve their goals in the same ways. If someone questions you, simply say, “This is what I choose.”

 

4. Don’t Share

 

If you know someone you will need to be around think you are crazy for going after your goal in a big way, don’t give them ammunition. Avoid talking about your plans around them. If they try to bring it up, take the conversation another direction.

 

5. Turn Doubt into Motivation

 

If someone doubts you, use their doubt as motivation. Maybe that means making a wager or promising yourself that you’ll prove him or her wrong. Either way, do not let the uncertainty of others weigh you down. Most likely, what they think really doesn’t matter.

 

6. Embrace Solitude and Reflection

 

Keeping up the hustle to achieve your goals can be a lonely path sometimes. Give yourself downtime to reflect on your goals, how far you have come, and re-evaluate your plan of action. This quiet time will also fill your cup and let new ideas and motivation form.

 

Naysayers are everywhere in life. They are in your family, at work, and maybe even your friend group. This does not mean that you need to spend your life working within the parameters of their beliefs. You can move beyond their negativity and crush your goals with relentless willpower. 

4 Ways Introverts Can Enjoy More Social Confidence

We used the word "enjoy" in that title for a reason. Social confidence is important for building relationships. This is true of the introvert, the extrovert and the average person who is somewhere between those two personality extremes.

 

You can enjoy a much more successful career when you have powerful social skills. Your personal relationships benefit. The person who's confident when interacting with others has a high level of self-esteem. They enjoy a powerful self-belief that they are capable in social situations.

 

That's not to say that introverts don't have wonderful and rewarding lives. They simply have a view of their best life that's different from an extroverted person.

 

By the way, it's often believed that introverts despise interacting with people. That's almost never the case. It's simply that they would prefer to spend more time on their own. That's how they recharge their batteries. The extroverted person does the same thing by spending a lot of time with other people. Each of these individuals is different in many ways, and no one approach is worse or better than the other.

 

That having been said, introverts often want better skills at socializing. They understand they can improve some aspect of their life if they had more confidence when dealing with people. If this sounds like you, we're here to help. Here are 4 ways that have been proven to help introverts build confidence in social settings.

 

1. Don't Overdo It

 

Introverts can enjoy socializing just as much as introverts. In many cases they do. The difference is that the introverted person loses physical and mental energy from socializing too frequently or for too long. 

 

If you want to perform better in social situations, limit your exposure. Pick your battles. Don't try to drink from a fire hydrant. Plan short periods of time where you're going to expand your social skills over the next week or month. When you feel your energy starts to wane, return home or wherever it is you feel most comfortable recharging your batteries.

 

2. Prepare Ahead of Time

 

You might be an introvert that doesn't have much experience interacting with others. That's okay. You can learn how to socialize. Do some prep work before you know you're going to deal with others. 

 

Think of the conversation beforehand. What's the environment going to be like? Who's going to be there? This type of homework can help you succeed in social situations and become more confident and capable.

 

3. Remember … Rome Wasn't Built in a Day

 

The old saying that it took a long time to build one of the greatest civilizations in human history is important here. Big accomplishments don't happen overnight. If you are extremely introverted, work on one step at a time to become more of a social animal. 

 

Maybe the first thing you want to do is get comfortable leaving your house. You might leave your home and walk 100 feet down the road and then return home. If that's a big deal for you, give yourself a huge pat on the back!

 

You did great. Once you're comfortable leaving home, then strike up a conversation with a stranger. Take one small step at a time and before you know it you'll have walked a mile down the road to improving your social skills.

 

4. Look at Rejection like a Successful Salesperson

 

The best salespeople get excited when they hear, "No." They know that every rejection gets them closer to making their next sale. You can look at social rejection the same way. See the situation objectively. What can you learn? What did you do right? What did you do wrong? Take rejection or social failure as an opportunity to get better, and then move on.

 

Introverts aren't necessarily scared of people. They usually aren't. They just prefer to spend a minimal amount of time in the presence of others. If this is you, and you want to build your social confidence, the tips we just shared with you can help. They make you feel more comfortable when interacting with people. You'll also be proud of yourself for stepping out of your comfort zone.

Staying Young Through All Your Years

There’s nothing wrong with enjoying the experience and wisdom that comes as we get a bit older. Even looking at those grey hair or fine lines can give you a feeling of fulfilment.

 

However, what most people dread about aging isn’t just looking old; it’s also feeling old. Everybody wants to avoid all those aches, pains, and cognitive decline that sometimes accompany old age.

 

Yet, we’re here to tell you about some expert-approved strategies that can help you look and feel young, healthy, and vibrant.

 

Let’s get started.

 

1. Meditate Daily

 

Constant surges of cortisol and adrenaline take a heavy toll on your mental, emotional, and physical health. They’re also one the biggest instigators of chronic diseases, like depression, high blood pressure, heart diseases, and dementia.

 

An effective way to slow down the effects of stress hormones is by meditating. You can do it for just five minutes a day for an hour, depending on how much time you have and your skill level.

 

The most important part of meditation is breathing deeply and avoiding pushing away thoughts that pop into your mind. If you do get any thoughts, simply accept them, then go back to your breathing.

 

Some people also repeat a mantra, such as a certain word, phrase, prayer, or a simple hum. Mantras are known in the meditation world as ‘a relaxation response’ to the stressors of the outside world.

 

2. Volunteer Often

 

Helping others is a great way to stay young at heart. Studies show that when we help others, whether it’s a stranger or your best friend, our brain releases oxytocin. This ‘feel-good’ hormone enhances your mood and counteracts the effects of the stress hormone cortisol.

 

Volunteering also gives you a sense of purpose, boosting your self-esteem and making you feel good about yourself.

 

Another benefit of volunteering is that you get to meet new people who share similar interests. It also strengthens your support network and boosts your ties to the community.

 

3. Exercise Regularly

 

The great thing about exercise is that it doesn’t have to be grueling hour-long sessions at the gym. It can be as calming as doing some yoga or tai-chi. Both are designed to help reduce stress while strengthening your muscles.

 

There’s even been research done on their ability to rejuvenate the immune and digestive systems. Not only that, but physical exercise is great for boosting brain power as well.

 

So, they’re good for keeping your mind and body young. Other types of anti-aging workouts include:

 

• Walking

• Low-impact cardio routines

• Standing calf raises

• Swimming

• Arm and leg crosses

 

4. Eat Right

 

One of the best ways to feel and look young through all your years is to eat the right types of food. Certain foods contain the vitamins and minerals we need to reduce the risk of chronic diseases, cancer, and even Alzheimer’s.

 

Pomegranates, berries, leafy veggies, and nuts are all great examples of what health experts refer to as ‘superfoods.’ They recommend we eat these foods daily because they contain high levels of antioxidants and amino acids, as well as loads of vitamins and minerals.

 

When taken in the right amounts, they help you sleep better, boost your immune system, and improve your memory!

 

5. Stay Hydrated

 

Drinking water and other healthy beverages throughout the day helps keep your cells supple and healthy. People who drink large amounts of water throughout the day tend to have fewer wrinkles and soft lines than those who don’t.

 

Some drinks, such as green tea, have the potential to lower the risk of certain types of cancer. Even more impressive is that several studies show that drinking at least one cup a day can help boost your concentration and memory and keep your brain sharp.

 

Final Thoughts

 

Staying young through all your years is easy if you follow these tips. The important thing is to stay young at heart, adopt a positive mindset, and never stop learning.

5 Examples Of Social Anxiety

Social anxiety disorder, also known as social phobia, affects around 6.8 million adults in the U.S. Still, many people struggle with this condition. They are not officially diagnosed by a mental health care provider, according to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). 

 

NIMH states that this anxiety disorder can be mild to moderate and sometimes only lasts several hours. It can be long-lasting, preventing you from participating in everyday activities and relationships with others.

 

SAD can be defined as excessive worry and nervousness about social situations and interactions with other people that impact an individual’s ability to function. 

 

Although this condition may seem common, many people don’t understand what it means to have social anxiety or how it manifests itself in day-to-day life. Here are five examples of social anxiety and how you can learn from them to shed light on this topic.

 

1. Speaking in public

 

Public speaking is a common fear, and it's not surprising that it causes social anxiety. Many people fear public speaking because they don't want to be judged and scrutinized by an audience. 

 

These feelings often lead to physical symptoms like increased heart rate and sweaty palms. Speaking in front of a small group or an individual may seem less daunting than presenting in front of hundreds of people. It's important for those with this fear to realize that most audiences have members who feel anxious before making their presentations.

 

2. Going out with friends

 

Going out with friends is an event that can trigger social anxiety. However, this experience doesn't have to be a terrible one. With the right mindset, you can make it a positive experience. Below are a few ways to help manage this anxiety: 

 

• Make your expectations realistic. 

• Plan and know what to expect. 

• Practice what you'll say beforehand to feel more confident when meeting new people.

• Bring a friend or someone you know who's been there before to help introduce you. 

• Arrive early so you don't feel rushed.

 

3. Talking on the phone

 

Phone conversations are one of the most common triggers for people with social anxiety. Feeling anxious about talking on the phone typically stems from a fear that the person on the other end will be judging you. 

 

It's important to remember that this is not always the case and that they may have a similar experience or understanding of what you are going through.

 

Think about why it might bother you to talk on the phone: 

 

• What does it mean if someone calls? 

• What are you afraid might happen when someone calls? 

• Why do those thoughts make you feel uneasy? 

• How does it make your body feel when these thoughts come up? 

• What would need to happen for those thoughts to stop bothering you?

 

4. Meeting new people

 

When meeting new people, it is important to be able to start a conversation confidently.

 

If you are too anxious to do so, try one of these techniques:

 

• Ask the person their name and tell them yours. 

• Compliment the person on their appearance or wearing something. 

• Tell them how much you enjoy their work.

• Bring up an interest in common that you share with the person, such as sports or music.

• The next time you see this person, remember what you talked about so you can pick up where your last conversation left off.

 

5. Ordering food at restaurants

 

If ordering food at a restaurant, you may feel intimidated and scared. Why? You're not sure what to say or how to act. You want the person taking your order to like you, and you're terrified they won't. 

 

You worry that the way your voice sounds is unattractive, that you don't sound smart enough, or that they'll think your voice is annoying. The anxiety that occurs when eating in public: Eating in public can be stressful for someone with social anxiety. It's hard to eat while ensuring no one looks, talks too much, or is too quiet.

 

Final thoughts

 

Social anxiety can make a person feel self-conscious, embarrassed, and even experience panic. It is important to remember that social anxiety is a common condition that many people experience at one time or another. 

 

While it is not easy to deal with, there are ways to overcome social anxiety and improve your quality of life. Remembering these five examples of social anxiety may help you deal with it better in the future.

3 Simple Ways to Recharge Your Body

When it comes to being productive, your body is just as important as your brain. If you don’t care for your body, you’ll have a hard time finding the motivation to get through your day. You’ll experience decreased energy and be more likely to feel sluggish and tired. 

 

The best way to get back into your normal productive routine is to recharge your body. You’ll find it easier to tackle your work with motivation and you’ll be able to give your full attention to all of the projects on your plate. While there are many ways you can recharge, here are three of the most popular ways.

 

Take a power nap.

 

A power nap is a short nap that enables you to wake up feeling refreshed. The trick with a power nap is the timing. If you don’t nap long enough, then you may feel groggy upon waking. If you nap too long, then you’ll have a tough time getting to sleep when it’s bedtime.

 

Many people find that the best length of a power nap is between fifteen and twenty minutes. For even better results, stick to a regular nap schedule. Most doctors advise taking your power nap in the middle of the day. This will allow you to get the benefits of a power nap without it wrecking your sleep cycle.

 

Treat yourself to a massage.

 

Many business owners spend a significant part of their day in front of a computer. When you sit all day like this, it’s easy to overwork the muscles in your neck and shoulders. That’s why it can be helpful to get a shoulder or neck massage. 

 

Besides helping your muscles, a massage is an excellent way to increase your blood circulation and getting one will make you feel more alert. It’s also helpful if you suffer from chronic pain due to a medical condition like fibromyalgia or arthritis. You can opt for a day trip to the local spa or you could find a massage therapist online through a website like American Massage Therapy Association (AMTA).

 

Go on a mini retreat.

 

A retreat is a chance to withdraw from everything around you. It gives you the space to reflect on your priorities and sort through your emotions. A mini retreat might be just what your body needs if you’ve been experiencing a difficult time such as the diagnosis of an illness, the loss of a loved one, or another catastrophe.

 

Your mini retreat doesn’t have to last long. You can choose to have your own private retreat for just a few hours. Try to pick a place or a series of places that you can go where you feel safe and comfortable. For some people, a safe place might be a library, church, or museum. 

 

Remember that in many ways your body is like your car. It can get you to your destination but it does need regular care and maintenance in order to operate well.

 

Journal Your Thoughts

 

• What are some warning signs that you’re about to burnout? What are some activities that will recharge you and prevent burnout?

• What's your favorite way to re-charge?

• How often do you schedule time to re-charge? If you don't, how can you work 'recharge time' into your day?

 

Achieve Inner Peace and Focus with These 6 Strategies

It’s difficult to stay productive when your brain is buzzing. You have so many ideas and thoughts in your head that it’s tough to focus on your to do list. But you don’t have to let the mental noise ruin your productivity. You can quiet your brain by doing a few simple things then you’ll be able to return to work with focus and clarity.

 

Start a journal. 

 

When your mind is buzzing, try writing down your thoughts in a journal. This exercise will help you empty your mind so that your brain is free to focus again. Once you’ve finished with your thoughts, write about the benefits that finishing your tasks for the day will bring you. By writing about your tasks, you’ll be able to sort through and pick which ones are the most important to you.

 

Try coloring.

 

Coloring for half an hour is a great way to let go of mental clutter. Allow your thoughts to come as you focus on the design of your coloring sheet. Besides helping calm your brain, coloring also allows you to get into a creative mindset. That makes it a great activity if you’re trying to come up with a solution to a problem or seeking inspiration for a project you’re working on. If you dislike coloring, you might try doodling instead. You’ll still get the same benefits as coloring.

 

Practice yoga.

 

Yoga is another great way to calm your mind. It’s effective because it allows you to get fully in tune with your body. If other thoughts try to interrupt you, push them away and focus on your current pose. You don’t have to buy an expensive DVD to practice yoga. There are many yoga videos available for free on YouTube.

 

Take a walk.

 

Taking a walk, even a short one, is helpful when your brain is buzzing. Not only does walking get you away from your desk, it’s also a great way to relieve stress. You can powerwalk or jog if you prefer that to a leisurely pace. But be choosy with your location. Busy streets can make it hard for you to focus and relax. Instead, opt for quiet streets or walk at local park that you enjoy visiting.

 

Meditate.

 

Meditation is a quick way to calm your mind and body. Get into a comfortable position and focus on your breathing. Take slow breaths and feel your body move as you inhale and exhale. Release any conscious thoughts as they come to you. If you’re new to meditation, it can be helpful to choose an object or word to focus on during your session. 

 

Take a hot bath.

 

A hot bath is the perfect way to calm an overactive brain. Besides helping you relax, a warm bath can also improve circulation and ease tense muscles. After you’re finished soaking, try to take a quick shower with lukewarm or cold water. This wakes your body up and energizes you so that you’re ready to tackle the rest of your to do list.

 

When your brain is buzzing, don’t try to work despite it. Instead, acknowledge how you feel right now and try one of the exercises listed above. Then you’ll be able to return to work with a focused mindset.

 

Journal Your Thoughts

• When you're overwhelmed, what helps you relax the most?

• Do you find yourself frequently flitting from task to task without accomplishing anything? What do you think is causing this?

• How can you create a system that lets you capture and organize your ideas?