Are The Decisions You Make In Your Life Self-Supportive?

Decision making is one of the basic cognitive processes of human behaviors by which a preferred option or a course of actions is chosen from among a set of alternatives based on certain criteria. (Yingxu Wang et al, 2007). 

 

Daily, we must make decisions for our future selves, whether we want to or not. Making difficult decisions, whether they be about where you will move next year or whom to marry, is unavoidable.

 

Because we are an "intelligent" species, our experiences in life should continue to improve our capacity to make smart decisions as time goes on. 

 

According to LifeHack, "Does a three year old think about good or bad choices? Every choice is the right one when life is just one big adventure of discovery and excitement. It’s only as we begin to discern, judge, and regret that the importance of making good choices that align with our goals becomes apparent."

 

There are times when we make a seemingly rational decision, yet life throws us a right hook. Life is unpredictable, but what about the times when we repeat the same thing over and over again, expecting different results? It would have to be insane to make terrible decisions on purpose, wouldn't it?

 

Here are three ways that will help you to make good decisions that supports your life goals.

 

Keep Your Core Values In Heart

 

According to National Park Service, "Core values are the strategies we employ to accomplish our mission.  The values underlie our work, how interact with each other, and which strategies we employ to fulfill our mission.  The core values are the basic elements of how we go about our work.”

 

They are the practices we use (or should be using) every day in everything we do." You may believe that you can compromise while being loyal to yourself, yet a small part of you will always be out of sync.

 

That irritation will develop like a pearl in an oyster shell, but the eventual result will be less than appealing.

 

Ask For Help, But Make Your Own Decisions

 

According to LinkedIn, "Dr. Travis Bradberry, president of TalentSmart, mentioned that the most successful people seek for outside counsel. "Their perspectives help you weigh your options more objectively and to spot your subjective or irrational tendencies."  

 

Every choice you make in life has one main thing in common, and that is you. No one will know what you go through on a daily basis or what your inner senses are telling you. While it's nice to seek advice from others, failing to listen to your own intuition may lead you down a path that is less fulfilling.

 

Make Conscious Choices

 

Improvisation is okay, but there is a thin line between instinctive reflex and compulsion. Being present is one thing, but it's all too easy to confuse an instinctive reaction with a regular one rooted on years of mental impulses or even habits. 

 

"Consciousness is a gift permanently available to you should you choose to use it. You might perceive it as restrictive or boring, but in reality it is liberating, as well as working in your own best interests. Consciousness allows another perspective in your thinking as an alternative to the hard-wired version that has developed over the years" according to the Harvard Business Review.

 

The essence of artistic expression is intuition and imagination. Unlike restricting harmful beliefs, consciousness allows your thoughts to flow while fostering awareness. This knowledge will enable you to make better decisions and handle the consequences.

 

Learn To Believe In Yourself

 

No one can be as persistent in their backing of you as you can. Being nice to oneself boosts your self-esteem and decreases your desire for acceptance. Self-love and care not only strengthen your self-confidence, but also strengthen your bonds with others. 

Having the courage to trust oneself is a challenging feat in and of itself, but once you do, you may feel more comfortable making major decisions for yourself in the future.

 

Conclusion

 

Making decisions becomes exciting rather than a work when you connect with your truth, stay conscious, trust your intuition, savor the plethora of options before you, and value yourself. 

 

Follow these suggestions and watch your confidence soar as you reap the benefits of making great decisions.

 

Battling Indecision In Your Life

Are you struggling with indecision? Does picking an outfit for a party put you into an anxious mental state? Are you paralyzed when tasked with making a decision concerning taking a new job or not? Struggling with indecision is just no fun. 

 

According to Marcus Tullius Cicero, “More is lost by indecision than wrong decision. Indecision is the thief of opportunity. It will steal you blind.”

 

While the reasons for being indecisive are numerous, and some might be logical, the good news is that making decisions is a skill, and like any skill, anyone can learn it.

In this article, we shall discuss how indecision affects your life and discuss ways you can effectively battle indecision and become more decisive.

 

Understanding Indecision

 

Research into understanding indecision shows a universally adverse effect of indecisiveness. According to a study by the Netherland Journal of Psychology, “Indecisiveness is a widespread phenomenon. It is capable of limiting all aspects of your life, from your romance to your career.”

 

Concerning the causes of indecision, numerous studies on the psychology of indecision have shown that there are diverse causes of indecision. These causes are unique for every individual, and the cause of your indecisiveness isn’t the same for someone else. 

 

There, however, are certain common keys that are determinant on whether you are unable to quickly make sound decisions or not, the include the following.

 

·   Trying to please people. This is making a decision that will please others in hopes that they will like you more. When you always make decisions to please other people, you lose the ability to make decisions that are your own.

·   Losing faith in yourself. This is common after a series of bad or wrong decisions leaves you hurt or disappointed. Most people lose faith in their own judgment and become indecisive after that.

·   Too many choices. It is common to be indecisive when you are presented with too many options. An example is making a choice from a menu. You are presented with dozens of options, and that makes it harder to make up your mind.

 

The Benefits Of Indecision?

 

While indecision can impact our lives negatively, indecision isn’t always a bad thing. Indecision makes you hesitate and gives you more time to consider the situations and the options available critically. You are provided with more time to gather and weigh the facts and make a better-informed choice. 

 

Experiencing indecisiveness when making a life-changing choice is common and only shows that whatever decision you are trying to make really matters to you. It is, however, important to know when you are taking time to weigh your choices and when you are forever stuck in the loop of indecisiveness. 

 

Eliminating Indecision

 

The steps below will help if you find yourself continually plagued by indecisiveness.

 

Forget The Fear

 

If you are unable to make a decision, there exists a chance that you are scared of something. To eliminate this fear, consider why you are afraid and write it on paper. Once that is done, acknowledge the repercussions of such fear coming to pass. If this fear materializes, how will you cope? What is the possibility of this happening? Weigh this against the fear of all the options you are battling with.

 

A good example of this is choosing to take a new job. Maybe the pay of the new job is lower than what you currently earn, but there is a higher growth rate. There might be a valid fear of reduced income for a while. 

 

Carefully consider how your life will be affected by this decreased income and how you can handle it. Once this is done, it’s much easier to eliminate the fear and make the best decision.

 

Trust Your Emotions

 

If you are constantly indecisive, the reason is that you do not trust your guts and need to stop over-analyzing. While there is a place for considering your options when making a serious decision, trusting your guts is a surefire way to develop intuitions that helps you make decisions easily. 

 

Some ways to practice this, according to a study by Psychology Today, are:

 

Putting A Time Limit On Your Decisions

 

Create a list that reminds you of the times when your decisions turned out to be just right.

 

Keep a journal where you daily input details on how you feel as it relates to making decisions. This helps you tap into intuitive and reflective capacities that are being ignored. 

 

Practice On The Small Stuff

 

According to research on Education Resources Information Center, decisiveness is a skill. That is great because it means that it can be learned and mastered like every other skill. While there is no universal step to eliminate indecisiveness, you can only know what works for you by constant practice and experimentation. 

 

Begin by making a series of small decisions every day. You can set a target of 10 - 15 decisions per day. Little decisions like what to eat, the route to take, an inexpensive purchase, and other small decisions that lack any serious consequences.

 

As you make these decisions daily, you are practicing, growing in confidence, and gaining an ability that would come in handy when the time to make serious life-changing decisions comes.

 

Conclusion

 

To conclude, do not become indecisive about the steps to battle indecision! Decide to try out these steps today, and before long, you’ll find yourself handling even the big decisions easier. 

 

Characteristics Of A Good Choice

Global health expert Timothy A Carey Ph.D. considers good choices to be the actions we take that further our lives in a positive way. This obviously means that bad choices tend to work against our lives and can lead to failure, stress, and depression. (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-control/201508/making-good-choices).

 

In our daily lives we are inundated with choices ranging from what we eat, or what we wear all the way up to major career decisions. Hidden among these many daily choices are good options and bad options making it hard to always know what to do. There are, however, some key characteristics of good choices which may help you make better decisions. 

 

They Match Your Values

 

According to Professor Jay Parsons of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, values are important in making good decisions. We all have different values and goals in life so this is why it is key to understand ourselves before making important decisions. (https://agecon.unl.edu/cornhusker-economics/2016/seven-characteristics-good-decision).

 

If a decision path matches well with your personal values and aims in life this may be a solid indicator that it is a good choice for you. As an example, if you are an empathetic person who wishes to do something fulfilling to help others, the decision to follow a career path that matches this is likely a good choice.

 

You Understand the Choice

 

A key characteristic of a good choice is one that you fully understand. When it comes to clothes and food this is simple because you know what you like, these are simple choices. When it comes to more complex and impactful choices further understanding is required. Researching the path, you think you may take will help you understand if it is a good choice for you. 

 

The Pros Outweigh the Cons

 

This is a simple but important characteristic to a good choice, it must have more positives than negatives to your life. In the simplest format imagine considering wearing Summer swimwear to go outside when it’s well below zero and snowing outside. Unless you happen to be a swimwear model and are going to be paid thousands to do this there are no pros. There are countless cons, however, not least the risk of hyperthermia.

 

As decisions become more complicated the pros vs cons list becomes longer and sometimes less definitive. A good choice though will always be clear based on the pros of the decision being more beneficial to you than the cons. 

 

You Feel the Motivation to Push Forward

 

Any choice we make requires us to have the motivation to see it through. When choosing clothes to wear or food to eat there may be a lot of options but there is always ultimately motivation to follow through. This is because we must eat and to go out in public, we generally need to wear clothes.

 

When considering a more complex choice it is key that we have the drive to pursue this choice. If it’s a career choice that we really want and we feel fully motivated then this could be a good choice. But if the choice leaves us feeling unmotivated and we feel it will fail then this may not be the best choice.

 

Flexibility

 

Choices do not have to be set in stone in order to be good ones. In fact, a characteristic of a good choice is the allowance for flexibility. 

 

For example, if you take an educational course with the plan to pursue a particular career this decision can be even better if there are multiple different careers that such a course would be suitable for. So, a choice that allows for a pivot to a plan B or even C could potentially be a very good choice.

 

Don’t Leave Life to Chance, Make Intentional Decisions in Support of You

More than likely each of us are in search of purpose at some point, or some clarity as to what this short life on earth is about. Some people assume that their purpose will come to them, by chance if you may. The problem with this is that you may get lucky, or you may be left very confused as to what you are supposed to be doing with your precious time. 

 

There are so many different paths to take in life. For some of us, it is entirely too overwhelming to choose just one. You must start somewhere though. You must start with some intention to get what you want and need out of life, because indecisiveness kills creativity. You will inevitably have to make decisions along the way, many of them difficult.

 

Once you realize the direction you are heading, or want to head, these decisions become much easier to make clearly. It’s not a good feeling to feel as though you are flailing about with no real intention or purpose.

 

Living with Intent 

 

The term “purpose” could be a bit overused in society today. There is this utopian view of finding your purpose in life and living happily ever after once you’ve got your purpose figured out. It is a bit simplistic.

 

Again, by hoping and thinking positively that good things will come to you is a bit naïve and quite frankly leaves what happens to chance. There is nothing inherently wrong with choosing to be optimistic and laid-back, it just shouldn’t be a method used in isolation. 

 

Finding a purpose takes work, experiences, and hard decisions. After that, there will be a new obstacle to overcome. Once you have decided what you want, how will you get it? This requires making intentional decisions along the way. 

 

The Intentional Decisions Model

 

An intention consists of a decision maker’s aim to bring about one particular state (usually within a given time frame). The Intentional Decisions Model may serve as a tool to visualize and monitor the decisions you are making. Ideally, the choices you make cumulatively add up to leading a fulfilling life. 

 

That means that each choice can make a difference and should be backed by intention. It is a framework of the components of being either a) a creator of your life or b) a victim of your life. The basics of this model are:

 

1. Act proactively rather than reactively.

 

Basically, plan ahead instead of waiting for things to happen.

 

2. Choose empathy for others versus sympathy for yourself. 

 

Put yourself in others’ shoes to truly understand situations rather than focussing on yourself and engaging in self-pity. 

 

3. Be engaged over simply showing up. 

 

Attendance in life is one thing but being actively engaged is what gives meaning to the things happening around us.

 

We don’t need to be happy all the time as much as we need to be in creator-mode as much of the time as possible. While happiness is a form of success, it is simply not always achievable. We cannot always control situations that happen that may make us unhappy, but we can control how we react and the decisions we make thereafter. 

 

It is good to have strategies in place that set positive habits towards leading a life with intent. That way, if you feel yourself slipping into victim-mode, seek your strategy in place to turn that way of thinking around and shift back toward creator-mode. 

 

Having clear and attainable goals in life is not only healthy, but also necessary. Goal setting is a separate process but making intentional decisions that support your goals is integral to achieving what you want out of life. 

 

Feeling Confident In Your Decisions, Even If…

Sometimes even the simplest decisions feel difficult, especially when you're insecure in your abilities or you have a history of poor decisions. If that sounds like you, then you may be the kind of person who feels real anxiety over choosing which restaurant to visit for dinner. 

 

There are myriad reasons to feel insecure about your decisions and it could have started in your childhood when a parent couldn't let go of making easy decisions or it could have come later when you made a string of poor decisions. Whatever the cause, you have to make decisions on a daily basis and you have to feel confident in them. 

 

If worry and anxiety are always present when you are making your decisions, then you have to work to remove the what if. What if this happens or what if that happens. You can play every possible scenario out in your mind, but ultimately, no one sets out to make poor decisions. 

 

When you make a decision, you make the best one you can with the available information. You cannot predict what consequences may come; you can only address regrets if they appear later. And if your decision leads to regret, so what? If that's the worst thing that happens, you're doing just fine. 

 

But you get nervous about what others might say about your decision, you worry that everyone is laughing at you, or you think about everything blowing up in your face. 

 

It all stems from a lack of self-confidence. You are overwhelmed by fear and paralyzed into inaction. So, why make a decision at all? Maybe you can avoid making a poor decision by making no decision at all, but that is a decision of sorts and it's rarely the right one. So, let's move you to a place of confidence, even if…

Affirm Abilities

Do you know what helps build confidence and will make you feel more confident in your decisions no matter what? Affirming your abilities often! Think about all of the times you have made good decisions, all of the times you've done a good job. That's proof of your ability to produce results. 

Do things you're good at when you need a healthy boost of confidence. Give yourself plaudits for every decision you make, no matter how small, it will help you gear up to tackle the biggest decisions.

Remove Fear 

You have to challenge your limiting thoughts and question whether they are accurate or not. You struggle with feeling confident in your decisions because you question whether you are good enough, smart enough, strong enough, or if you have the right abilities. You can change your thoughts because you have a choice in the matter. Don't just let them run rampant, put them to the test. 

Action

Perhaps your first instinct is to hold back and wait before making a decision, but that's a great way to get caught up in negative thoughts. So, sometimes the best thing to do is to take action. Once things are in motion you can focus on making the right decision. Take action by researching what you need to know because that will help create a clearer picture. 

Values

Your values should be your guide because if your decision aligns with your values, it is more than likely the right decision at the time regardless of what happens after. You need to know what your priorities are, you need to understand what you value, what's important, and that can steer you to the right choices. 

 

You won't always make the right choices, you might fluff your lines from time to time, but the worst thing to come from that might be failure and that's something you can bounce back from. You have to feel confident in your decisions because as long as you're doing your best, you're doing it right. 

 

Make The Decision To Pursue Your Dreams

The Top 5 Ways You Can Begin The Journey

 

During childhood, we are often asked what we want to be when we grow up. The answers range from teachers to astronauts. Rarely would a child say they want to be a customer service representative or gas attendant. 

 

In fact, a recent study conducted by Harvard University asked 2,000 students if they have pursued their childhood dreams. “78.06 percent of adults do not end up following through on the career path of their six-year-old imaginations.”

 

Throughout adulthood, many individuals have multiple jobs. Research has shown that working adults change careers once every four years. Yet, there is still the dream to go after their passions. 

 

Let us look at the best five practices to go after that childhood dream:

Remember, life is short – While it is often necessary to choose career paths that fit in with current lifestyles, the dream does not have to go by the wayside. Childhood dreams do not always pertain to careers, it might be as inspiring as a portrait painter. Even if a career change is not available, the time to begin trying is now.

 

Start by making a list of short-term dreams and long-term dreams. Perhaps a short-term goal is to learn to salsa dance. The long-term goal is to perform on stage. Make time to learn that craft, even in short periods. There is no timeline. The idea is to go after that dream for personal achievement.

Have confidence in your dream – Nothing can be as mentally draining as others negative opinions about your personal dreams. From family to investors, the words can be damaging. The mind can begin to doubt itself. To keep that confidence up, you need to be mentally strong for your dream. 

When someone questions your motives for that dream, reply in a calm tone to not appear defensive. Explain your goal in an outline. Keep it general but seemingly achievable. Another good way to keep up your confidence is to reach out to like-minded individuals achieving the same dreams. 

Do it for personal satisfaction – Maybe one of the long-term dreams is to lose weight so you can wear your favorite shirt again. Hundreds of studies have been done on weight loss. One of the recent studies conducted by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) claimed,”49.1 percent of U.S. adults tried to lose weight in the last 12 months. A higher percentage of women (56.4 percent) than men (41.7 percent) tried to lose weight.”

Though life can be busy and fast-food restaurants provide a quick meal, this is hindering your health. Try not to think as cooking as a chore. Instead, make it enjoyable. Start with switching out your potatoes for a salad a few times a week. Experiment with different healthy toppings such as mandarin oranges or grilled asparagus. The more you enjoy the process, the easier it is to stay on track. 

Having side dreams can be beneficial at work – Many people have side hobbies outside of the workplace. Researchers from Pittsburgh University created a scale called the Pittsburgh Enjoyable Activities Test. 

This study focused on the effect of hobbies and leisure pursuits on overall health. When it came to happiness, the report showed, “People who said they participated often in enjoyable activities also had greater life satisfaction and felt their lives had a greater sense of purpose and meaning.”

Start using your days off to devote to your dream. Engage fully in the activity and allow your body and mind to return to base level by Monday morning. When at work, commit to that task and not focusing on outside interests. This gives balance to both your personal and work life.

Be an inspiration to others = When we are children we are inspired by others before us. We create our own version of that dream. We respect the information and take lead from that. While your goal might seem silly, the reality is, your story might inspire others to do the same. What a great feeling for you.

 

In Conclusion

 

This is the time to begin your journey of pursuing your dreams. They are achievable and attainable. As Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli once quoted, “Through perseverance many people win success out of what seemed destined to be certain failure.”

 

Pivotal Life Decision: Career/Work Choice

Professor of business psychology Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic Ph.D. suggests there is a great deal tied to a person's career choices. This is because we spend a large proportion of our lives working, spending more time at work than we do having fun or sleeping. To many people what they do is far more important to them than who they are (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mr-personality/201106/the-psychology-career-choices-why-personality-matters).

 

This then is why decisions regarding a person's career are so pivotal to their life. The truth is that very often people are in jobs that they do not enjoy. It’s a lucky person who can come home at the end of a day and look forward to going back to work tomorrow. 

 

Be Scientific With Your Choices

 

It would be an interesting survey to know how many people grow up to do the job they wanted when they were 5 years old. If we could follow that youngster's dreams, we would likely have an overabundance of astronauts, firefighters, and ninjas. The truth is we have to be more scientific when making career choices.

 

Our success in education is likely to impact our options as does geographic location. If we have a huge career dream then we need to put in the work to achieve that. In the short term we may land in a less attractive job but that doesn’t stop us working on our dreams. What we must avoid is letting emotion play too big a part in our career path. 

 

Imagine Your Future Self

 

When deciding on a career it is important to consider who you want to be in 5, 10, 15 years' time. Do you want a family? Will you buy a home? Basically, who will you be? Committing to a career that requires a lot of you may lead to difficulties with relationships later on. Try to imagine the work/life balance of your career and how your priorities may change. 

 

Consider All Your Options

 

It’s good to have options when it comes to career so rather than focusing entirely on one path consider others as well. The first opportunity may not be the best choice. Give all of your potential career choices an equal amount of consideration. Spend time comparing the pros and cons of each before you settle on a final choice. 

 

Stop Seeking Signs

 

When we are unhappy in our jobs, we may sometimes find ourselves seeking justification for walking away. The little phrase “Maybe it’s a sign” enters into too many thoughts especially within our careers. Things at work that are not going as they should are seen as “signs” that we shouldn’t be in the job or that we are no good at it. 

 

The truth is we may just be lacking confidence and motivation. The job isn’t sending cosmic signs, the only sign sender is yourself. We are not enjoying our job, we want a reason to leave. This may be an indication of a need to change path or perhaps an indication of trying to find a reason to stay. 

 

Don’t Choose in Fear

 

We may feel strongly about a career path but those we love may be telling us that it’s a bad one. This may lead some people to abandon their dreams so as to not upset parents or others. It is important to not change a decision because of the fear of other people's opinions.

 

Another fear factor to avoid is leaving decisions too long. If we spend too much time trying to pick our career path, we may find ourselves desperate to get any kind of work. Don’t overthink things or you may end up having to take what you can get, not what you want.

Pivotal Life Decision: Finding Fulfillment

According to former US Army Infantry and bestseller author Kamal Ravikant, “Life is a series of choices, and we are poised to live a fulfilled life when we make the best decisions.” 

 

While life might - at first glance - seem like a series of external adventures, the real adventure is also internal. There are occasions in the lives of everyone where we are required to make certain key decisions that tend to change the trajectory of our lives. These internal decisions are what fuel the fulfilled life that is seen externally. 

 

We shall, in this post, discuss some of those pivotal life decisions that are determinant to whether your life is “fulfilled” or not. 

 

Your Choice On College Or Grad School

 

In today’s world, there is intense pressure to attend college and finish a program. However, there are people who do not feel like attending college or taking a break from it all. 

 

The decision should be down to you as a person because the perks of attending college might be enormous but still there are other things in life besides a college degree or society’s perception. 

 

Pursuing a path that you aren’t passionate about is a sure way of feeling unfulfilled. 

 

Your Choice On A Hobby And Career

 

Passion is the context in which true success occurs, and everyone requires something - a hobby or career - to feel passionate about.

 

Finding what you are passionate about might require some exploring; however, once you discover what you love doing and are great at, it’s vital to put in the time to become a master at that task. 

 

Mastery requires an extensive time investment; hence, it is a smart idea to pick a career that aligns with your hobby. This way, you can enjoy the “work” you are doing, and time spent at work wouldn’t seem torturous.

 

Your Choice Of A Spouse

 

The choice of a future spouse will impact every aspect of your life going forward unless you get a divorce. Apart from being disheartening and frustrating, divorce is surprisingly expensive and takes a massive toll on everyone involved in the process. 

 

This makes making the right choice for a life partner much more important. It is important to commit to the decision once it has been made and continually work on yourself to find fulfillment in your relationship. 

 

While marriage has its immense benefits, it is important to note that the institution of marriage isn’t for everybody, and you can live a happy and fulfilling life without a primary partner. 

 

The decision on whether marriage is right for you and whom to marry is wholly up to you, and you shouldn’t be pressured to making a decision that will leave you unhappy. 

 

Your Relationship With Money

 

Money is a system of expression and at the root of many conflicts that we humans face in life. According to a study by the University of Minnesota’s College of Education and Human Development, “One source of conflict is how differently people are raised to think about money.” 

 

A wrong personal belief or memory about money would leave anyone who lacks money feeling utterly dismayed and unfulfilled. These feelings and thoughts concerning money are subconscious and operate outside of our conscious awareness. 

 

In order to heal and have a better relationship with money, a conscious effort has to be taken to explore and change these misconceptions. The decision to deeply ponder the topic of money is one of the most significant life decisions necessary to living a fulfilled life.

 

Your Relationship With The Health Of Your Physical Body

 

According to Mahatma Gandhi, “It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.” When you are healthy, you feel on top of the world are ready to face whatever challenges of life. 

 

The decision to honor your body and prioritize health is one of the pivotal life decisions. A lot of people consider self-care as an afterthought and put it off as something to do later when “there is more time.” 

 

Taking conscious steps to have a healthy lifestyle and ensuring that you are able-bodied gives a certain sense of empowerment and fulfillment. 

 

Conclusion

 

These pivotal decisions are the foundation for a fulfilled life and making the right choices will have you set up to live a healthy, joyful, and fulfilled life. It is never too late or too early to start a new phase of your life’s journey.