About Improving Yourself for Your Teenage Children’s Development

Among the different aspects of improving children, a very profound way is to try and improve oneself. Many experts have spoken about how it is important that parents first try and remove the negative traits from themselves if they want their children to improve. And this is all the more important when the child is at an impressible age such as the teenage. 

 

A teenager is easily influenced by what their parents do. If the father smokes or comes home drunk, the teenager might feel that this is all acceptable behavior. The teenager will certainly begin to emulate that. Things may not happen when the child is still living with parents but in later life, when he becomes a father himself, he might think it is all right to come home drenched in booze.

 

Whatever you do today is going to affect your children’s future lives. That includes all your positive and negative behavior. Even a seemingly minor thing like arguing with your spouse over who brings in the newspaper each morning can leave its indelible impression on a teenager’s life. For, the teenager will grow up thinking that such arguments are commonplace, they can happen and will happen, and that could lead to discord in their future life.

 

This will sound very difficult, but if you want to improve your teenager’s present and future life, you have to give them a totally positive environment at home. You have to teach them the values you want them to grow up with, and you have to ensure that you abide by those values yourself. You cannot expect to just be a preacher. You have to practice what you preach.

 

Positive values such as hard-work and integrity are also passed on from parents to children most emphatically during their teenage years. If a son sees his father slogging at work, he will respect people’s dedication to work. If a daughter sees her mother doing everything she can to run her house, she is going to have those values in her later years as well.

 

This is how you can teach your children the most valuable lessons in life when they are teenagers… by living them yourself. There is no other way to go about it. If you don’t abide by what you want to teach your children, then they aren’t going to adopt it into their lives, come what may. 

 

Learning from Your Children—A Quintessential Form of Self-Improvement

There are a lot of ways in which you can develop yourself. People who are on a constant quest of self-improvement always keep looking at avenues that they can use to enhance themselves. They look at the people around them and learn. And a very important resource here is one’s own children. There are people who look forward to learning from their children, and improve themselves in the process.

 

For a very significant portion of your life, you are teaching your children various aspects of existence. You educate them, your train them in the basic skills, you enable them to become good fits for the society they are living in and so on. But then, there comes a time when your children start growing beyond you. They are more abreast with the rapidly changing technology; and that is one reason for that. There is also the fact that children are younger than their parents, and their younger minds are more receptive to knowledge and information. It is not at all surprising when we see a father-son team and find out that the son is the better-informed of the two.

 

Parents who look forward to learning from their children start quite early, right from the schooling days of the children. Now, there might be many things you learned and forgot, many things you just didn’t learn because they weren’t invented back them. Learning along with your child is like going back to school, but a school that has revamped itself according to the contemporary times.

 

Every step of the way, your trysts with your children could be a learning process. Even when you are just trying to handle your kid, you are learning new aspects of qualities such as patience, compassion and understanding. You are developing in the process. When you are teaching your child to become responsible, you are becoming more responsible yourself.

 

Learning from your children isn’t all about seeking the new knowledge and information that they have amassed because of the big advantage that they are living in present times; it is also that you are learning how to develop your personality. A lot of people become more confident when they move with their children. They feel pride in their children’s achievements and it improves their demeanor as well. These are all different aspects of self-improvement that can happen in being spending time with your children. 

 

Which Parental Approach Is the Best?

For first time parents, it becomes very difficult to choose among the various approaches at parenting that they hear. Some parents are quite strict with their children while others are more laidback. There are all kinds of parents, and to confuse matters more, there is no uniformity in the way their children grow up to be. Why, even within the same house, siblings can turn out to be radically different from each other! So, what form of parenting should you choose?

 

If you decide to be a very strict parent who puts a lot of restrictions on their children, the whole thing may backfire. Such forms of parenting worked in the medieval periods, when children didn’t know better. They weren’t exposed to anything apart from what went on in their own family and, of course, there was a much-stinted view of family values that let such behavior be accepted. Today’s children are better aware of what goes on around them. If parents are too restrictive, they may possibly rebel.

 

At the same time, it doesn’t work being a very laidback parent either. Children are going to pick up the wrong habits along the way and it becomes important to you to correct them. You may even have to admonish them at times. Fail at that, and the children may grow up to be wrong and then they may blame you for not showing them the right path.

 

Though there is nothing like a foolproof method of parenting, it is important to avoid the extremes. Don’t be too strict and don’t be too lenient either. You have to walk on the middle path. You have to show your children what’s wrong when they err and you have to reward them when they do something commendable. This is the form of parenting that you have to emulate. This is the most practical approach, the situation-based approach. You don’t decide in advance how you are going to react. You take things at a time and then you behave as per the situation. 

 

How to Develop Yourself as a Parent

You may be expecting too much from your children, want your children to do things in a particular way, but in that you may have lost sight of the most important fact. And that is, there might be shortcomings within you that are keeping you away from becoming a good parent. Are there any such pitfalls? You have to realize them when there is still time and improve upon them. This is what can keep you developing as a better parent.

 

Your children will try to emulate you, consciously and subconsciously. Many of their developmental aspects are going to depend on your personality. For example, if you behave in society in a particular way, your children are very likely to behave in the same manner as well. This is because of exposure. Children become like what they are exposed to because they don’t know of any other way. When they learn the options they have in later life, it is too late for them to change themselves. That is the reason why people from a family tend to behave in a similar manner.

 

There are many such traits that children directly or indirectly pick up from their parents. Some of these include honesty, diligence to work, way of interacting with people, money-mindedness, love and affection, behavior with friends, etc. Every minute of your life you are training your children on these aspects, and most times you don’t even realize you are.

 

For instance, if a storekeeper gives you some money by mistake and you return it, children learn the value of honesty. They understand that they should not keep what is not theirs. When they see you working hard, they realize that hard work is important. When they see you helping your friends, they realize friends are important. These are lessons you are giving out to your children at all times.

 

Hence, if you want your children to be better individuals, maybe you need to improve yourself first. When you work in these positive values within yourself, your children are going to see the results of those values, see that they are good, and then try to incorporate those values in their own lives. They are going to become better individuals just because their parents were better people. So, you know now where the real training for your child begins—within yourself as their parent. 

 

5 Parental Self-Improvement Tips

In your quest to become a better parent, you often tend to ignore the fact that it is self-improvement that is the priority. Improving your children comes next. Most people try to change their children, while what would probably be better in the long run is to improve their own personality.

 

If you are looking at being a better parent yourself, then these are five important things that you should not ignore at all.

 

Learning from Mistakes

 

Parents must have the elegance to learn from their mistakes. When you are with your children, you are going to have several situations when things don’t work your way. At such times, your children are looking at you, learning from you. They are seeing how you handle the situation. Do you learn anything from it and put in a better effort? If you do, if you learn from your failings, then your children are subconsciously going to pick the habit as well.

 

A Thirst for Knowledge

 

Most parents want their children to be the most knowledgeable people on earth, but what do they do to gain knowledge themselves? You have to keep learning. Whenever something new happens, make an effort to know about it. Emphasize on the importance of knowing all you can. This is what sets your children going. They also get this insatiable craving for knowledge and that stays with them for life.

 

Being Social and Sociable

 

Children learn from their parents by observing them. How are you socially? Are you concerned about the people around you? Do you behave well in public? When you do that, your children are sure to follow in your footsteps. But if you are gregarious, a nuisance to others, thinking too much about yourself, then your children are going to think this is acceptable behavior.

 

Not Expecting Too Much

 

To avoid hurt, parents must refrain from building too many expectations from their kids. Children are going to be what they want to be; they will be individuals in their own right. Parents can only lead them to a distance; they cannot go all the way with them. And the root cause of parental hurt is over-expectation. Don’t expect your children to live in a particular way and you will be happier.

 

Relationship with Your Partner

 

The most important thing is that you have to be loving and caring towards your partner. This has a very deep influence on your child’s life. If you are affectionate to your partner, your child will learn what love is. Try building on this relationship at all times. It is probably the most important education you are giving your child.

 

Parenting—What to Expect from Your Children

A large share of all parental torment stems from belied expectations. Parents tend to expect a lot from their children as they are growing up. They want their children to be at the head of the class, win awards in sports, excel at their college studies, bag the best job possible, get a life partner that they approve of, have exactly the right number of children according to their ideas and so on. At every step of the way, parents hold expectations from their children. And when these expectations are belied—which is bound to happen if there are so many of them—the parental hurt begins.

 

When a person holds a child—their own child—for the first time, the feeling that generally crosses their mind is that they want to turn these children into spitting images of themselves. Most times, they want to transform these children into what they couldn’t become in life. Within those brief minutes of their first encounter with their children, most parents map out an entire lifetime for them… right from the way they will give the children their first room in the house to the time they will build their own household in their later life.

 

But this is where parents sow the seeds of troubles in their later life. If you expect too much from your children, you are simply bracing yourself to face the hurt later on. And it is not fair on your children as well.

 

The one thing—and the most important thing—that you have to keep in mind is that your children are not extensions of yourself. They are independent people. They have their own personalities. They have their own likes and dislikes. They have an opinion about everything. And all of these things may be different from what you have.

 

You give an education to your child. You give them the things they want to survive in life. You find out what talents they have and then give them the avenues to explore them more. You give them financial security in their lives. You monitor them so that they don’t fall into bad habits and ruin their lives. You teach them values. You show them what’s right and what’s wrong. You teach them to be independent.

 

But, it would be very wrong if you let them depend on you for their entire lives. Once you have handheld them through their younger days, there comes a time when you should let them go ahead in the world. Let them stumble and get up themselves if they have to. Let them find out things, the way you did.

 

The key is to not expect more from your children. They are individuals too, and as their life with catch up with them, they will have similar limitations and constraints as you have today. Despite meaning well, they may not be able to demonstrate their love and affection for you.

 

But let this not hamper your parental love for them. This is the way it should be, the way nature has ordained it to be. 

 

Parenting—What to Give to Your Children

When you are a parent, you have to shoulder a lot of responsibilities, one of the most important of which is raising your child. Anyone starting out as a parent has a lot of hopes and expectations… they want to be able to give their children the best they can and they hope to make their children better than anyone else’s have ever been. This is a common idea that all parents have. But, somewhere along the way, compromises begin. Parents begin to see that their children aren’t turning out to be the best in everything like they hoped for. And what torments the parents the most is that they believe they are giving their children every facility they would need.

 

If you want to be a happy, satisfied parent, then you should know what you should give your children and within what limits.

 

The best parent isn’t one who has been able to give every commodity under the sun to their kids. Your parenting isn’t measured by the things you give to your children. You should understand that the love you get from your children is beyond material goods.

 

Instead of buying the most expensive toy in the store for your kid, if you spend some time playing with them in the park, it would be appreciated more by the children. Most parents kick-start the toy habit in children themselves by giving them toys initially. Now, that doesn’t mean that you have to stop giving toys to your children altogether, but don’t make it a habit that the child depends on for happiness. When you are giving a toy to your child, also make sure that you can sit down and play with your child for a while.

 

The best thing that the child can want from you when they are young is your company. They want you to tell them how to do everything and they can take on from there by themselves. You have to be their guide in their younger years. This is more important than giving them material things such as food, clothes and toys.

 

At the same time, it becomes your responsibility to help them enrich their skills, talents and intelligence. Just going to a school is not enough. You have to keep abreast of their special gifts. Can your child sing very well? Or are they very good in some particular sport? What are you doing about it? It is an important—though oftentimes ignored—parental responsibility to give children the things they need to hone their talents. Your child shouldn’t grow up and say that they could become the next Picasso but their parents never let them hold a paintbrush in their hands.

 

Then there is security too. Whether you save money in your kid’s name or buy insurance plans that are customized for their needs, it does not matter, but you need to give them some financial stability as they are growing up. This helps you cope with their ever-increasing demands as well.

 

These are the things you have to be worried about. Parenting is not about giving children the best of toys; it is their enrichment that you have to aim for. 

 

Parenting Is a Mutual Joy and a Combined Job

It is rightly said that the true worth of any person is adjudged only when that person becomes a parent. And, parenting is a shared responsibility. It is to be done by two people, who have committed to be with each other and add to the joys of each other. When you decide to become parents, you are significantly adding to that joy… probably this is the most joyful thing that the two of you will ever do together.

 

The child who is coming into your lives needs love from both of you. Hence, a very important thing to do during the long wait of pregnancy—a wait that has been intelligently devised by nature itself—is that you have to try and reinforce those commitments that you made with your partner. You have to repair the relationship if anything had gone astray come closer together. As it is, the very fact that you are sharing the joy of bringing someone into this world helps bring drifting couples closer. But you have to let that happen.

 

One of the important things to remember is that you shouldn’t expect too much from your partner. Whether you are going to be the father or the mother, you shouldn’t lean too much on the other person. Apart from the biological responsibilities, which are ordained by nature itself, there are no other set responsibilities in parenthood. So, there is no reason why the father shouldn’t change the baby’s diapers or prepare the formula. Similarly, there is no reason why the mother shouldn’t take the baby for their vaccination shots and bear the medical expenses. It is all about shared responsibilities, and there is no demarcation as to who does what in the relationship.

 

You will achieve true parental joy only when you perform parental jobs without complaining about them. Make sure you add parenting to your list of priorities—this is something you will have to do apart from your work and social obligations, whether you are the father or the mother. Most importantly, look into your partner’s eyes when you speak with them. They have experienced new joy as well. If you learn to be happy in their happiness, you are on the right path to building a very contented family. 

 

Important Things to Do During Pregnancy Months

You have been blessed with the greatest blessing a human can ever get… that of becoming a mother. You are nurturing a life within you, and you are suddenly feeling more important than you ever felt. You are now not alone. Soon you are going to bring another individual into this world and you want to ensure the best for them.

 

A lot of expecting mothers all over the world are undergoing different kinds of trainings right from the time they know that they are holding an embryo inside them. In some parts of the world, especially in the developed countries, such training is necessitated by law. However, it is your moral responsibility as well. And, apart from undergoing all those baby orientation classes, there are several other things you should do as well.

 

Here is a list of things you have to pay absolute attention to in your pregnancy months.

 

Eat Well

 

If you are a careless eater, you cannot afford that habit anymore. One of the first things you will need to do is to make your diet healthier. And, that too, you will have to improve your diet not just for yourself but for the baby within you as well. You will be recommended an elaborate dietary regimen by your doctor and you will have to follow it. Apart from that, you will be given various supplements as well.

 

Take All Medicines

 

Pregnancy nowadays involves a battery of medicines. They will be recommended to you by your doctor and you will have to follow them diligently. If you have any medical condition that could jeopardize the baby’s health, you should tell the doctor about that in advance so that the doctor can put you on some kind of preventive program.

 

Exercise

 

You cannot do vigorous exercise when you are expecting. But you can at least try some stretching exercises such as Pilates so as to keep your limbs in perfect working order. It is not recommended to sleep your way through your pregnancy. This will only worsen your health when you eventually have the baby.

 

Read and Entertain Yourself

 

Make sure to spend a good amount of time enriching your mind. You could do this by reading good books, watching nice movies, listening to classic music and so on. Everything that you do right now helps in the overall development of the fetus within your body as well.

 

Meditate

 

Meditation through Yoga is highly recommended when you are pregnant. This helps you keep your mind under better control and you can become a better mother later on.

 

Keep that Flame of Love Burning!

 

All through your pregnancy, realize one important thing. This baby is something that belongs to you as well as your partner. It is his joy as well. At the same time, you shouldn’t let the incoming baby weaken the relationship the two of you have. Make a conscious effort of reassuring your partner that you love him, and accept what he does in reciprocation. 

 

How to Know You Are Ready to Become a Parent

When you have had a relationship with someone for a few years, you might want to take things to the next level… that of becoming a parent. Now, though this may be making you very excited, there are those jitters too. How do you know you are ready to become a parent? What should you base your decision on?

 

First and foremost, you need to think how well your relationship has shaped up to be. The person who will also become a parent with you—your partner—how is your relationship with them? Do you understand each other well? Is your partner also looking for becoming a parent? Parenting works well only if it is a mutual decision. Yes, there is a trend of becoming single parents nowadays, but that isn’t half as easy as sharing parenting responsibilities with someone.

 

Second, look at your financial situation. Are you capable right now to assume the financial responsibilities of an additional person in the house? This looks like an obvious thing that people will definitely think about, but it is surprising to see how many people ignore to do so, or at least undermine the financial aspect. Babies are extremely expensive to look after. Just their diapers will mean an additional $8,000 to $10,000 or more per year. No kidding!

 

Then, there is the fact that you will have to give your new member time. You will have to handle them, talk with them, feed them, clean them, clothe them, train them, look after their medical needs, spend sleepless nights in trying to make them sleep and so on. Are you ready to bear such drastic changes to your life? Are you willing to give everything else a backseat to look after your baby?

 

Also, you need to be spiritually and mentally prepared. You have you give your baby good values, make them trained in your religion, educate them to become responsible people in later lives and so on. You cannot do this unless you are in the right frame of mind yourself. Hence, you do need to see whether you are psychologically prepared too.

 

Just wanting a baby is not enough. They look very cute when they are cleaned and clothed and are sleeping in their prams, but only their parents (or nannies) know the troubles that go into coercing the baby to dress up and sleep in their prams. Realize that part of parenting, and knowledgeably take the decision. That’s the best way, and the only way there is.