5 Tips For Better Self-Care

It can be difficult to make time for self-care in our busy schedules. We run from one commitment to another, filling every gap in our life with work, study, family and social events. The chaos of modern life makes it even more important that we take the time to care for our individual wellbeing, both physically and mentally. If you are struggling with your own self-care, consider these five tips to improve your habits.

 

1.    Add self-care to your normal routine

 

When planning your weekly schedule, make sure that you have time for self-care. Cementing its place in your routine means that you will be more likely to commit to self-care as you will have allocated time specifically reserved for it. The more often you practice self-care, the more it will become a habit and part of your regular life. 

 

2.    Do what suits you

 

Self-care looks for different for everyone. Some people enjoy getting outdoors, others like catching up with friends and some people prefer sitting at home losing themselves in a good book or movie. Identify what makes you feel better and commit to that. Don’t feel pressured by what others consider self-care; long walks arenít for everyone.

 

3.    Practice gratitude

 

Engaging in regular gratitude practice is a valuable habit and a worthwhile way to spend your allocated self-care time. Take some time each day or week to write down three things that you are grateful for. Try to think of unique things that have happened for that week, rather than repeating the same common things each time. It may be difficult at first, but the more you practice gratitude the easier it will become. Regular participation in gratitude exercises trains your brain to be more thankful and positive about the things you have in your life, rather than focusing on the things you don’t have or things that aren’t going so well.

 

4.    Be brave and try something new

 

Trying something new is a great way to break the monotony of everyday life. Your mental health will benefit and you will learn new skills, both through the actual activity but also in regard to managing your nerves and being open to new opportunities. It’s a great way to take care of your mental, and depending on the activity, physical health.

 

5.    Detox from social media

 

Social media can be a great way to keep in touch with people, but in can also lead to resentment through comparison. If you are feeling overwhelmed or finding yourself in a rut, take a break of social media to become more present and rejuvenate in the real world.

4 Self-Care Tips For Extra Busy People

Finding time to invest in self-care can be challenging, especially when you live an extra busy life. When your days are spent bouncing between work, family and social commitments, there can be little time left to catch your breath let alone take time to care for your physical, mental and emotional health. If you are struggling to find time left for self-care, try these four tips to incorporate good self-care habits in your routine.

 

1.    Establish a morning routine

 

Starting the day right is a good way to ensure your mental and physical health is maintained. This might include a healthy breakfast, daily exercise or meditation; figure out what works for you and implement it daily. Over time this will become a habit, helping you to take some time for self-care every day.

 

2.    Schedule time off

 

It can be easy to find yourself in a cycle of continuous activity, moving from one activity to the next until it seems you are just going through the motions. Make sure you don’t get lost in the chaos by scheduling some time off. It might be an afternoon away from your normal routine, or something more extravagant like a weekend away or vacation. Whatever you choose, taking a break will allow you to relax and rejuvenate.

 

3.    Get enough sleep

 

It can be easy to prioritise other commitments over sleep, but the importance of sleep should not be underrated. Getting good quality sleep allows your body to heal and re-energise, helping you to perform in all areas of your life. It can also be hard to maintain a healthy lifestyle without proper sleep as we tend to make bad diet choices and avoid exercise when we are sleep deprived. Sleep is critical for physical and mental health, which is why it should be made a priority regardless of how busy you are.

 

4.    Set realistic goals

 

Manage your mental health by setting realistic goals. There’s no point committing to something that is unachievable or will put so much pressure on you that you feel like a failure. Spend some time considering your aspirations and make goals that are challenging, but possible for you to reach. You also need to set realistic goals when it comes to your self-care commitments. Add things to your routine that will work long term with your lifestyle.

 

With limited hours in the day, it can be nearly impossible to make time for self-care. These tips should help you incorporate self-care into your schedule so that you can live life to the fullest.

7 Ways to Overcome Self-Defeating Behaviour

We tend to think that most opposition comes from around us; a complaining spouse, a controlling boss, a road-raging driver but rarely do we acknowledge the truth of the matter: we are often our own worst enemies. Here are a few ways to stop self-defeating behaviour. 

 

1.    Let go of victory.

 

It’s nice to win, but you don’t have to win all the time. The lust for victory can often lead a person to keep chugging along a path of stupidity, wastefulness, and recklessness. On the other hand, sometimes it’s good to admit defeat and win a lesson instead. 

 

2.    Stop trying to please everyone.

 

You cannot make everyone happy all of the time. Rushing around and trying to make other people happy is a huge cause of self-defeating behaviour. Whether you’re doing it at work or in your personal relationships, trying to make everyone happy all the time can cost you your health and peace of mind.

 

3.    Accept imperfection.

 

If you seek perfection, you will never find completion. Can you imagine great artists like Michelangelo continuing to work and work on the Sistine Chapel, because it wasn’t exactly the way he wanted it? Nothing would ever get done! Imperfection is part of being human, and most of the time, you’re the only one who will notice your mistakes anyway. 

 

4.    Eliminate bad habits.

 

These days, most people have bad habits that relate to technology, like obsessively checking our email or social media accounts. Take stock of how you spend your time. Make a detailed log of the minutes and hours, and see how much time you might be wasting with various pursuits. 

 

5.    Overcome fear.

 

Fear is something that holds most people back from living a higher purpose. You can’t fly if you don’t jump, and you can’t jump if you’re afraid. Fear doesn’t necessarily have to be a direct sense of trepidation. It might be disguised as laziness or avoidance. 

 

6.    Stop being a lone wolf.

 

Everybody needs help sometimes, even lone wolfs. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help when you need it, because a severe, self-imposed sense of independence could actually be doing you more harm than good. Whether it’s in business or personal life, make friends, accept help, and seek help when it’s needed.

 

7.    Drop the guilt.

 

Allow yourself to enjoy life, even if your past is checkered. People can change and grow, so you don’t have to let your past hold you back. Most of us are raised with a mentality that we have to slave away for someone else and only enjoy the weekend, but you can break free from this thought prison.

6 Tips for Finding Optimism

Optimism... it’s a four syllable word that can be harder to find than diamonds in South Africa. But believe it or not, you too can tap into the earth of your surroundings and dig up a rich store of feel-good. Here are a few ways to do that.

 

1.    Find laughter.

 

These days, it isn’t hard to find. With YouTube and social media, there is no shortage of memes, videos, vines, and more to get you cracking. You could also rent a funny movie, watch stand-up comedy, or hangout with funny people. Laughter will lead you to smiling, and smiling will lead you to feeling good. Which brings us to our next point…

 

2.    Turn the frown upside down.

 

It’s hard to believe that something as smiling can improve your mood, but studies have linked outward acts of happiness to an internal shift. Practice by looking in the mirror and smiling, even it if feels cheesy, stupid, and inauthentic. Hold your smile for a minute, two minutes, five minutes... see how long you can go. Start the day off with a smile, and make a conscious effort to smile more.

 

3.    Use positive words.

 

Studies have shown and confirmed what spiritual traditions have long held regarding the power of the tongue: words can literally shape the reality around us. If you want to build a more positive vibe, try using more positive words. Eliminate negative talk about yourself, and others as well. 

 

4.    Find positive people.

 

The impact of those we hang out with is enormous. Avoid negative influences and people who bring your down with complaining and criticism. Misery loves company, the old adage goes, and these people will quickly bring you into a downward spiral. Find friends who are upbeat, positive, and happy, and their resilience and optimism will pass on to you.

 

5.    Stay healthy.

 

If you’re feeling tired and sick, it’s easy to get irritable and negative. By contrast, try maintaining an active lifestyle of healthy choices that can maximize your energy levels and build you up. It’s easier to be upbeat and happy when you feel good inside and out.

 

6.    Get spiritual and/or actualized.

 

Most spiritual traditions promote a positive outlook on life. If you’re not so into organized religion, find something that can provide a positive outlet for you, like exercise, music, art, or reading. Just like using positive words can turn our perspective around, filling our hearts and minds with good stuff will help optimism come easier. 

6 Defence Mechanism You Don’t Even Know That You’re Using

There are some pretty amazing defence mechanisms in nature. Sea slugs squirt out their own intestines to make a veiled escape. Birds like peacocks and turkeys ruffle their feathers. Small animals like bugs and frogs carry poisons and colours on their backs to scare away predators or punish stubborn ones. But when it comes to people, there may be a few defence mechanisms you’re using yourself that you barely recognize.

 

1.    Denial

 

Sometimes  an event or circumstance is so cataclysmically devastating, we just tune it out, and don’t even know we’re doing it. You can become aware of your denial when other people around you call something to your attention.

 

2.    Repression

 

This is sort of like denial, but it involves burying a thought of feeling deep inside, where it tends to come out in other ways. For example, you could be furious at your boss, and unable to release your anger at work, become vitriolic and argumentative at home.

 

3.    Projection

 

It’s often easier to ignore our own faults, and pretend like other people have them instead. Projection involves seeing something bad in other people, which may or may not be there (like a negative character trait) when really, you are exhibiting that same trait. 

 

4.    Rationalization

 

This one involves taking a wrongdoing (by you on others, or from others onto you) and reasoning it out to be okay. You’ll have to create a complex new system of logic in order to work this one into the universe in an acceptable way, but all sorts of crime from embezzlement to genocide have been rationalized as acceptable. 

 

5.    Regression

 

Regression basically involves taking a step back developmentally, to a space where it’s physically or emotionally safe. Children often regress as they move through life, going through periods where they revert to acting like a younger child. Adults may also undergo this process. For example, after getting fired from a job, you may revert to the safety net of looking for a comparably paying job, instead of searching for something better. 

 

6.    Reaction

 

Sometimes the primal instincts take over, and we get ready to fight. In situations that don’t have a lot of time around them, you can quickly jump into a reactionary mood before reflecting and calming down... for example, if someone cuts you off in traffic, you could step into a mode of road rage; or, if someone argues with you at work, you could quickly defend yourself by escalating the situation into a shouting match. 

5 Ways to Drive Away Negative Thinking

Remember those scenes from The Exorcist where the priest tries to drive the ghost out of the possessed child? Driving away negative thoughts doesn’t require as much effort, but it can be a pretty serious battle. You can’t just tell them to be gone, but instead, need to develop a longstanding strategy for driving them away and keeping them out for good. 

 

1.     Admit you have a problem. 

 

It can be downright impossible to do self-reflection on this topic, because we often don’t pay attention to your own words or body language. One helpful way to gauge your level of self-defeatist attitude and negativity is to create a chart with two sides. On one side, write down all you positive thoughts that day. On the other, write down all your negative thoughts. You’ll be amazed by how much negativity the average person keeps in their head.

 

2.    Exercise.

 

Getting your body moving is great for changing your mood and your thoughts. You don’t have to run a marathon or swim across the English Channel to make that kind of change... you can just step up, take a walk, do some jumping jacks, or dance. That’s right... dance. Try turning on your favourite music and moving and grooving for a few minutes; see if you’re feeling negative afterward.

 

3.    Practice Gratitude. 

 

If making a list of your thoughts was the first step to recognizing your negativity problem, building a positive list could be the first step toward solving it. Make a list of all the things you’re grateful for. Having trouble coming up with a list? How about your breath, your pulse, your sight, and all the other basic amenities we take for granted. Once you start writing your list out, you will find that it snowballs and fills your mind with positivity.  

 

4.    Talk about it. 

 

Find a friend, family member, therapist, or helpful ear to listen to your problems without judgement, and without recommendation (unless you want it). You could also pray, journal, or craft an art project around your feelings. Once they’re out there, you’ll find yourself strangely (perhaps magically is a better word) unburdened of negative thinking. 

 

5.    Change your language. 

 

Take stock of the vocabulary and phrases you use regularly, as you did in point #1. Eliminate negative phrases and words from your lexicon, and watch your thoughts change as well. You should also take note of your body language and posture. Avoid slouching, and above all, smile!

5 Ways to Declutter Your Mind

When it comes to decluttering your home, there’s a simple solution: put everything on eBay (this is a bit oversimplified, but it’s possible, isn’t it?). Yet, when it comes to decluttering your mind, it’s not really possible to unload your thoughts onto eager internet buyers... or is it? Here are a few ways to declutter your mind.

 

1.    Declutter your space.

 

We are what we eat... and what we see. While people may argue about whether or not violent movies can raise a generation of messed-up, angry kids, let’s just err on the side of caution and declutter the space around us. With less things in our field of vision, we have less garbage to stew over and worry about... freeing up the space in our mind.

 

2.    Declutter your schedule.

 

Another thing that can drive us crazy is the constant rush from one activity to another. Take a look at your schedule and start eliminating things that aren’t necessary. All they’re doing is adding stress to your day and giving you more food to throw into the ever-spiralling mental stew of stress.

 

3.    Unplug from the party.

 

Would you be able to sleep and rest easily if you were attending a party of several thousand people say, like Times Square on New Year’s Eve? That’s pretty much what’s going on with your smartphone, tapped in as you (probably) are to several social media networks. The pings, dings, and rings from various contacts, along with the thrill of finding a new message are all adding small but unhealthy doses of stress to your day. 

 

4.    Practice mindfulness.

 

Mindfulness is all about engaging with the present in a fully, alive way. There are lots of ways to practice the skill of mindfulness, from meditation to just staring at an object (like a candle) and contemplating its existence. Mindfulness will help you learn how to push relevant concerns out of your conscious thought process, leading to increased concentration and a decluttered mind. 

 

5.    Let go. 

 

Remember that scene from Titanic where Kate says to Jack, I’ll never let you go? Well, sometimes it’s best to let old memories die. From broken relationships to diabolical bosses, we tend to have a whole lot of backstory spinning in the back of our mind. Just let it all go, and like a computer that suddenly operates faster, you’ll find your mind in a much more free and easy state.

10 Traits of Highly Motivated People

You know a highly motivated person when you see one. They seem indefatigable in the face of a challenge and possessive of more energy than a pink bunny with a drum… but what exactly are the character traits that help them stay that way?

 

1. Purpose. Highly motivated people are able comprehend and internalize the bigger picture. They see how their work fits into the whole, and therefore don’t start feeling like the smaller components of the journey are meaningless.

 

2. Optimism. With a positive vision of what could be in the future, motivated people gain energy to go about their work towards the happy outcome they envision.

 

3. Self-Esteem. It’s hard to do anything when you don’t feel like you can do it. But motivated people know their strengths, and they believe in themselves.

 

4. Bravery. Motivated people delight in taking on new challenges, and they don’t back down from risk. They’re not afraid to take chances, get mistakes, and get messy—just like the teacher on the Magic School Bus.

 

5. Energy. Motivated people have the requisite energy—mental, physical, or emotional—to move forward with their plan and fight the good fight. 

 

6. Persistence. People with high levels of motivation don’t just give up when the going gets tough. They buckle down and stick to their guns.

 

7. Perspective. Highly motivated people don’t get it twisted with the small stuff. They know how to sort through life’s myriad concerns and ignore the little things that could pull them off course.

 

8. Reflective. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson, an old adage goes, and motivated people get that. While bravery, energy, and persistence are some of their sterling qualities, that doesn’t mean they make stupid choices. Motivated people reflect on the process and move forward with intelligence and strategy.

 

9. Humility. Motivated people also have perspective on their own strengths and weaknesses. An arrogant person will quickly run up against a wall again and again as opposing egos clash with their quest. By contrast, a humble person will have an easier time carrying out their plan, taking feedback, and adjusting course as necessary. They’re not offended—their eyes are on the prize, and they’ll take the help they need to get there.

 

10. Celebration. Motivated people enjoy success and they celebrate it. It’s not about throwing it in other people’s faces, but about appreciating the hard work just done, and looking forward to a new journey.

7 Deadly Sins That Destroy Motivation and What You Can Do About Them

Feeling like you just can’t rise up and climb uphill to your goal, or even walk at a leisurely pace along a flat path to get there? Here are seven things that may be holding you back. 

 

1. You don’t believe in yourself. You may not be motivated to achieve your goals because deep down inside (or maybe not so deep down) you don’t think you can do it, or you don’t feel like you deserve it. Developing self-confidence is a key component to strengthening your motivation. 

 

2. You’re overwhelmed. Perhaps you just have too much stuff going on right now, and you need to clear your plate. You might be procrastinating because you don’t want to face the stress of going down your large and overwhelming to-do list.

 

3. You bit off more than you can chew. While self-confidence is important, it’s also good to be realistic. If you’ve made a goal to save up a million dollars this year, but you make less than six figures, you’ll probably give up on your goal once you realize it’s impossible. Try setting goals with realistic expectations you can fulfill.

 

4. You’re afraid. Believe it or not, you could actually be procrastinating and avoiding your destiny because—get this—you’re afraid of the greatness within. You could also be afraid of the changes that will come about if you meet your goals. Confront your fears by writing them out, and perhaps process them with a friend or loved one, so your motivation won’t be detracted by fear of change.

 

5.  You live in the past. You may be circling back unnecessarily to previous similar attempts to achieve your goal, and getting locked into the story of how it didn’t work out so well that time. Wipe the slate clean and move on—if you live in the past you’ll never be able to move successfully toward the future. 

 

6. You’re not getting the support you need. Take a moment to reflect on the people around you. What are they saying about you and your goals? Are they being supportive and checking in to see how you’re doing, or are they disparaging your dreams and trashing your abilities? Consider spending less time with negative people that reduce your motivation, or at least not including them in the loop of this one subject.

 

7. You don’t have a strategy. It’s hard enough to achieve your goal and bring a new entity into existence, but to do it without a plan is almost impossible. You may be lacking motivation because you’re not leveraging powerful tools like affirmations or a schedule.