6 Tips for Finding Optimism

Optimism... it’s a four syllable word that can be harder to find than diamonds in South Africa. But believe it or not, you too can tap into the earth of your surroundings and dig up a rich store of feel-good. Here are a few ways to do that.

 

1.    Find laughter.

 

These days, it isn’t hard to find. With YouTube and social media, there is no shortage of memes, videos, vines, and more to get you cracking. You could also rent a funny movie, watch stand-up comedy, or hangout with funny people. Laughter will lead you to smiling, and smiling will lead you to feeling good. Which brings us to our next point…

 

2.    Turn the frown upside down.

 

It’s hard to believe that something as smiling can improve your mood, but studies have linked outward acts of happiness to an internal shift. Practice by looking in the mirror and smiling, even it if feels cheesy, stupid, and inauthentic. Hold your smile for a minute, two minutes, five minutes... see how long you can go. Start the day off with a smile, and make a conscious effort to smile more.

 

3.    Use positive words.

 

Studies have shown and confirmed what spiritual traditions have long held regarding the power of the tongue: words can literally shape the reality around us. If you want to build a more positive vibe, try using more positive words. Eliminate negative talk about yourself, and others as well. 

 

4.    Find positive people.

 

The impact of those we hang out with is enormous. Avoid negative influences and people who bring your down with complaining and criticism. Misery loves company, the old adage goes, and these people will quickly bring you into a downward spiral. Find friends who are upbeat, positive, and happy, and their resilience and optimism will pass on to you.

 

5.    Stay healthy.

 

If you’re feeling tired and sick, it’s easy to get irritable and negative. By contrast, try maintaining an active lifestyle of healthy choices that can maximize your energy levels and build you up. It’s easier to be upbeat and happy when you feel good inside and out.

 

6.    Get spiritual and/or actualized.

 

Most spiritual traditions promote a positive outlook on life. If you’re not so into organized religion, find something that can provide a positive outlet for you, like exercise, music, art, or reading. Just like using positive words can turn our perspective around, filling our hearts and minds with good stuff will help optimism come easier. 

6 Defence Mechanism You Don’t Even Know That You’re Using

There are some pretty amazing defence mechanisms in nature. Sea slugs squirt out their own intestines to make a veiled escape. Birds like peacocks and turkeys ruffle their feathers. Small animals like bugs and frogs carry poisons and colours on their backs to scare away predators or punish stubborn ones. But when it comes to people, there may be a few defence mechanisms you’re using yourself that you barely recognize.

 

1.    Denial

 

Sometimes  an event or circumstance is so cataclysmically devastating, we just tune it out, and don’t even know we’re doing it. You can become aware of your denial when other people around you call something to your attention.

 

2.    Repression

 

This is sort of like denial, but it involves burying a thought of feeling deep inside, where it tends to come out in other ways. For example, you could be furious at your boss, and unable to release your anger at work, become vitriolic and argumentative at home.

 

3.    Projection

 

It’s often easier to ignore our own faults, and pretend like other people have them instead. Projection involves seeing something bad in other people, which may or may not be there (like a negative character trait) when really, you are exhibiting that same trait. 

 

4.    Rationalization

 

This one involves taking a wrongdoing (by you on others, or from others onto you) and reasoning it out to be okay. You’ll have to create a complex new system of logic in order to work this one into the universe in an acceptable way, but all sorts of crime from embezzlement to genocide have been rationalized as acceptable. 

 

5.    Regression

 

Regression basically involves taking a step back developmentally, to a space where it’s physically or emotionally safe. Children often regress as they move through life, going through periods where they revert to acting like a younger child. Adults may also undergo this process. For example, after getting fired from a job, you may revert to the safety net of looking for a comparably paying job, instead of searching for something better. 

 

6.    Reaction

 

Sometimes the primal instincts take over, and we get ready to fight. In situations that don’t have a lot of time around them, you can quickly jump into a reactionary mood before reflecting and calming down... for example, if someone cuts you off in traffic, you could step into a mode of road rage; or, if someone argues with you at work, you could quickly defend yourself by escalating the situation into a shouting match. 

5 Ways to Drive Away Negative Thinking

Remember those scenes from The Exorcist where the priest tries to drive the ghost out of the possessed child? Driving away negative thoughts doesn’t require as much effort, but it can be a pretty serious battle. You can’t just tell them to be gone, but instead, need to develop a longstanding strategy for driving them away and keeping them out for good. 

 

1.     Admit you have a problem. 

 

It can be downright impossible to do self-reflection on this topic, because we often don’t pay attention to your own words or body language. One helpful way to gauge your level of self-defeatist attitude and negativity is to create a chart with two sides. On one side, write down all you positive thoughts that day. On the other, write down all your negative thoughts. You’ll be amazed by how much negativity the average person keeps in their head.

 

2.    Exercise.

 

Getting your body moving is great for changing your mood and your thoughts. You don’t have to run a marathon or swim across the English Channel to make that kind of change... you can just step up, take a walk, do some jumping jacks, or dance. That’s right... dance. Try turning on your favourite music and moving and grooving for a few minutes; see if you’re feeling negative afterward.

 

3.    Practice Gratitude. 

 

If making a list of your thoughts was the first step to recognizing your negativity problem, building a positive list could be the first step toward solving it. Make a list of all the things you’re grateful for. Having trouble coming up with a list? How about your breath, your pulse, your sight, and all the other basic amenities we take for granted. Once you start writing your list out, you will find that it snowballs and fills your mind with positivity.  

 

4.    Talk about it. 

 

Find a friend, family member, therapist, or helpful ear to listen to your problems without judgement, and without recommendation (unless you want it). You could also pray, journal, or craft an art project around your feelings. Once they’re out there, you’ll find yourself strangely (perhaps magically is a better word) unburdened of negative thinking. 

 

5.    Change your language. 

 

Take stock of the vocabulary and phrases you use regularly, as you did in point #1. Eliminate negative phrases and words from your lexicon, and watch your thoughts change as well. You should also take note of your body language and posture. Avoid slouching, and above all, smile!

5 Ways to Declutter Your Mind

When it comes to decluttering your home, there’s a simple solution: put everything on eBay (this is a bit oversimplified, but it’s possible, isn’t it?). Yet, when it comes to decluttering your mind, it’s not really possible to unload your thoughts onto eager internet buyers... or is it? Here are a few ways to declutter your mind.

 

1.    Declutter your space.

 

We are what we eat... and what we see. While people may argue about whether or not violent movies can raise a generation of messed-up, angry kids, let’s just err on the side of caution and declutter the space around us. With less things in our field of vision, we have less garbage to stew over and worry about... freeing up the space in our mind.

 

2.    Declutter your schedule.

 

Another thing that can drive us crazy is the constant rush from one activity to another. Take a look at your schedule and start eliminating things that aren’t necessary. All they’re doing is adding stress to your day and giving you more food to throw into the ever-spiralling mental stew of stress.

 

3.    Unplug from the party.

 

Would you be able to sleep and rest easily if you were attending a party of several thousand people say, like Times Square on New Year’s Eve? That’s pretty much what’s going on with your smartphone, tapped in as you (probably) are to several social media networks. The pings, dings, and rings from various contacts, along with the thrill of finding a new message are all adding small but unhealthy doses of stress to your day. 

 

4.    Practice mindfulness.

 

Mindfulness is all about engaging with the present in a fully, alive way. There are lots of ways to practice the skill of mindfulness, from meditation to just staring at an object (like a candle) and contemplating its existence. Mindfulness will help you learn how to push relevant concerns out of your conscious thought process, leading to increased concentration and a decluttered mind. 

 

5.    Let go. 

 

Remember that scene from Titanic where Kate says to Jack, I’ll never let you go? Well, sometimes it’s best to let old memories die. From broken relationships to diabolical bosses, we tend to have a whole lot of backstory spinning in the back of our mind. Just let it all go, and like a computer that suddenly operates faster, you’ll find your mind in a much more free and easy state.

10 Traits of Highly Motivated People

You know a highly motivated person when you see one. They seem indefatigable in the face of a challenge and possessive of more energy than a pink bunny with a drum… but what exactly are the character traits that help them stay that way?

 

1. Purpose. Highly motivated people are able comprehend and internalize the bigger picture. They see how their work fits into the whole, and therefore don’t start feeling like the smaller components of the journey are meaningless.

 

2. Optimism. With a positive vision of what could be in the future, motivated people gain energy to go about their work towards the happy outcome they envision.

 

3. Self-Esteem. It’s hard to do anything when you don’t feel like you can do it. But motivated people know their strengths, and they believe in themselves.

 

4. Bravery. Motivated people delight in taking on new challenges, and they don’t back down from risk. They’re not afraid to take chances, get mistakes, and get messy—just like the teacher on the Magic School Bus.

 

5. Energy. Motivated people have the requisite energy—mental, physical, or emotional—to move forward with their plan and fight the good fight. 

 

6. Persistence. People with high levels of motivation don’t just give up when the going gets tough. They buckle down and stick to their guns.

 

7. Perspective. Highly motivated people don’t get it twisted with the small stuff. They know how to sort through life’s myriad concerns and ignore the little things that could pull them off course.

 

8. Reflective. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson, an old adage goes, and motivated people get that. While bravery, energy, and persistence are some of their sterling qualities, that doesn’t mean they make stupid choices. Motivated people reflect on the process and move forward with intelligence and strategy.

 

9. Humility. Motivated people also have perspective on their own strengths and weaknesses. An arrogant person will quickly run up against a wall again and again as opposing egos clash with their quest. By contrast, a humble person will have an easier time carrying out their plan, taking feedback, and adjusting course as necessary. They’re not offended—their eyes are on the prize, and they’ll take the help they need to get there.

 

10. Celebration. Motivated people enjoy success and they celebrate it. It’s not about throwing it in other people’s faces, but about appreciating the hard work just done, and looking forward to a new journey.

7 Deadly Sins That Destroy Motivation and What You Can Do About Them

Feeling like you just can’t rise up and climb uphill to your goal, or even walk at a leisurely pace along a flat path to get there? Here are seven things that may be holding you back. 

 

1. You don’t believe in yourself. You may not be motivated to achieve your goals because deep down inside (or maybe not so deep down) you don’t think you can do it, or you don’t feel like you deserve it. Developing self-confidence is a key component to strengthening your motivation. 

 

2. You’re overwhelmed. Perhaps you just have too much stuff going on right now, and you need to clear your plate. You might be procrastinating because you don’t want to face the stress of going down your large and overwhelming to-do list.

 

3. You bit off more than you can chew. While self-confidence is important, it’s also good to be realistic. If you’ve made a goal to save up a million dollars this year, but you make less than six figures, you’ll probably give up on your goal once you realize it’s impossible. Try setting goals with realistic expectations you can fulfill.

 

4. You’re afraid. Believe it or not, you could actually be procrastinating and avoiding your destiny because—get this—you’re afraid of the greatness within. You could also be afraid of the changes that will come about if you meet your goals. Confront your fears by writing them out, and perhaps process them with a friend or loved one, so your motivation won’t be detracted by fear of change.

 

5.  You live in the past. You may be circling back unnecessarily to previous similar attempts to achieve your goal, and getting locked into the story of how it didn’t work out so well that time. Wipe the slate clean and move on—if you live in the past you’ll never be able to move successfully toward the future. 

 

6. You’re not getting the support you need. Take a moment to reflect on the people around you. What are they saying about you and your goals? Are they being supportive and checking in to see how you’re doing, or are they disparaging your dreams and trashing your abilities? Consider spending less time with negative people that reduce your motivation, or at least not including them in the loop of this one subject.

 

7. You don’t have a strategy. It’s hard enough to achieve your goal and bring a new entity into existence, but to do it without a plan is almost impossible. You may be lacking motivation because you’re not leveraging powerful tools like affirmations or a schedule.

6 Ideas that Drive Motivation

 

Motivation can seem to be a mysterious entity—sometimes it’s there, and sometimes it isn’t. That said, most people do have the motivation to get up out of bed every morning and live life. 

 

But what exactly causes them to act?

 

Here are a few theories behind the force that carries us toward our goals.

 

1. Instinct. Although this theory has somewhat fallen out of vogue, the idea here is that people are programmed to behave a certain way to due to evolution. One of the prime examples of this theory at work is animal migration. But when it comes to people, this theory may not be able to explain more complex motivations around non-biological goals.

 

2. Incentive. This idea promulgates that people do things to receive a reward. For example, you may be motivated to dress nicely at work because you think you’ll be more likely to receive the reward of a promotion. The greater the reward, the more motivated you will be to pursue the path to it.

 

3. Drive. The theory of drive-based motivation suggests that people to things to meet internal forces that impel them towards a particular course of action. For example, if you’re body needs more salts, you might develop a craving for salty food. 

 

4. Arousal. This doesn’t refer just to sex, but to all types of excitement and energy. When you’re feeling low on the spectrum, you might be motivated to add some excitement to your life with something like an action movie, a jog, or even an argument. When you need to balance out your day with relaxation, you could be more motivated to read a book or drink soothing tea.

 

5. Humanism. We are not robots, but rather complex creatures with layers of thought, desire, and feeling. Humanistic drives relate to a hierarchy of needs proposed by psychologist John Maslow. While things like food, water, and shelter are basic needs that must be met, people also have more intangible needs to fulfill like self-actualization, creative expression, and loving relationships.

  

6. Expectancy. This theory circulates around the idea that people—in a way—can build their own future just by what they think about themselves and the world around them, and be motivated to act accordingly. For example, a person who feels good about themselves and confident about what they can achieve will be more motivated to pursue their goals, while someone who feels down and out will be less motivated.

6 Hacks to Keep Motivation Going

So you got motivated recently. Maybe you saw an awesome speaker or got a stinging dose of honesty from a friend or family member. But initial motivation often fades…so here are a few ways to keep it going strong.

 

1. Remember the pain points. In sales lingo, pain points are problems that come about when the solution being offered is not taken. Try to keep in mind all the things that could or will happen if you don’t stay the course. For example, if you were once motivated to go running three times a week, think about what will happen if you don’t give your heart the exercise it needs.

 

2. Don’t play leapfrog. Feelings of motivation can sometimes slip into the category of finding the next high. Instead of bouncing from goal to goal, make sure you finish what you start before getting motivated about something else. For example, if you really like language and made a goal for yourself to learn French, learn it before you switch to learning German, and then Italian, or whatever else.

 

3. Know Thyself. When you try to accomplish goals that other people set for you, your motivation can wane. Take a look at your goals and make sure they’re goals you have for yourself…not goals that other people want you to achieve. If they’re not, you may want to set them aside and reassess where you’re going.

 

4. Visualize. Picturing the end result of your goal can go a long way towards continuing your motivation to succeed, and it has some seriously awesome side effects. The positive energy you build around that imagery will affect you at a subconscious level, while the mental affirmation that you can achieve it will do loads for your self-confidence, which will also help you stay the course.

 

5. Let go of stuff beyond your control. When it comes to motivation, it can be easy to give up because things don’t’ go according to plan. Learn to let go of things beyond your control, otherwise they’ll reduce your motivation to succeed.

 

6. Get organized. If you want to stay motivated, you need to work a little bit to keep the motivation alive, otherwise it will just slip into the traffic stream of life’s feelings that inevitably comes over everyone—just like happiness, sadness, or anger, motivation will just be another feeling unless you concretize it. Put your goals on the calendar and make an action plan.

5 Ways to Stay Motivated in Business

If you own your own business or are an entrepreneur, you can often be faced with challenges that strike down your motivation to go on. But here are a few ways you can reign in the troops and find the gumption to keep going.

 

1. Define your core values. Core values encapsulated in a mission statement will guide your company through times good and bad by helping you find direction and bringing you through turbulent times. “Making money” is not a goal that’s sure to keep you motivated when clients aren’t coming, but “delivering sustainable sources of energy” or something similarly specific will help you stay motivated towards a goal that forms the bigger picture.

 

2. Take a look at the checkpoints. There may be a gap between your desired results and the actual results of what’s happened so far because your goal is monolithic and too far into the future. Take a look at smaller components to get a more accurate picture of how things are progressing, which will also bolster your motivation to continue carrying the torch.

 

3. Surround yourself with friends. The people around you play a big role in your success. When it comes to running your own business, there are a lot of naysayers out there who will throw in their two cents, but take it all with a grain of salt. Instead, seek out like-minded visionaries and entrepreneurs, both at networking events and in casual contexts. Get inspiration and motivation from those in a similar station who also have an imaginative vision for the future. 

 

4. Remember that the grass isn’t always greener. If you’re one of those business owners who have previous experience in the nine-to-five economy, remember what it was like to sign away your schedule and practically your soul to a corporate overlord. While running your business is tough, it sure beats being underpaid, underappreciated, and overworked by someone who can just flick you away at the drop of the hat. Do you really want to return to that kind of environment? 

 

5. Figure out what you want. Desire is the motivating force behind almost anything, and business is no different. If you’ve pegged your desires as shallow goals like making more cash, it can be easy to get discouraged. But if you dig a little deeper and get to some core reasons for being inspired, it’s easier to stay the course—for example, a better home, providing for your family, or enjoying life to the fullest.

8 Ways Leaders Pull the Team through Tough Times

It’s easy to be a leader when things are hunky-dory. In fact, it can be downright awesome—especially if you get your own castle or palace (this may not apply to the typical shift manager). 

 

But when your team is in the trenches under fire, you need some serious leadership skills to hold it all together. 

 

1. Grit. Grit is defined as courage, resolve, and strength of character, but the final blend of those characteristics yield a quality that’s perhaps best summarized by one word: toughness. Good leaders hold the team together in tough times by staying committed to the battle.

 

2. Optimism. While grit mainly relates to the present, optimism is a component of leadership that looks to the future. A leader who has a positive view of the outcome is creating a mental framework for the team to pull through, because they foster the belief that something great is on the other side.

 

3. Pragmatism. While a leader needs to be gritty and optimistic, they also need to be practical, using intelligence and common sense to navigate their way through the given situation. Having rose colored glasses for the future is great, but having them on as you look at the present can lead to costly mistakes.

 

4. Selflessness. A bad leader will try to save their own skin, but a good captain goes down with the ship—because he makes sure crewmembers get off first (that said, he doesn’t necessarily have to go down with the ship). 

 

5. Resolution. Tough times are ripe for dissension and mutiny, but a good leader holds command. Sometimes you have to show tough love and put the proverbial boot down when members of the team start talking smack. They’ll thank you later.

 

6. Encouragement. A good leader encourages the team during a tough time to help them find the drive to make it through. Sometimes encouragement can be as simple as wandering around the group, patting some backs, and giving smiles or friendly words.

 

7. Preparedness. A good leader never finds their team unexpectedly thrust into bad times without some prior preparation. A good leader has a plan to cover all the possibilities, and knows what to do if things don’t go exactly the way they were hoping.  

 

8. Bravery. Fear can undermine the entire mission, whether the war is on a battlefield, a sporting field, or the sales floor. A good leader is brave and inspires his team with that bravery.