The Balancing Act: Letting Go Of The Need To Control Everything And Finding Harmony

As chaotic as modern life can be, you can find balance. It's difficult to get it right, especially when you're trying to embrace life's spontaneity while also creating an efficient routine to maximize your time and opportunities. 

 

There's a big part of it that requires control, the problem is that the desire for too much control can stress you out and make you incredibly anxious. This need for too much control steeps you into a state of perpetual tension. Here, we talk about the balancing act and the art of letting go. 

 

Control is an Illusion 

 

Control is an illusion, it's the idea that you can dictate all of the outcomes throughout your life. There are, of course, certain things you can control. If you're getting a degree, license, or qualification in something, you can control the level of study you put in for the testing process. That's in your hands. 

 

Not everything is that simple, though, and the reality is most things in life are inherently unpredictable. So, the more you cling to this illusion of control, the more stressed out you become and the more frustrated and disappointed you feel when things don't go your way. Accept that there are limits to what you can control. 

 

Embrace the Uncertainty 

 

Some of the beauty of life lies in its unpredictability, some of the greatest moments of your life probably came from nowhere. Embrace that uncertainty, it might be a shift in your perspective, but it gives you the freedom to navigate new situations with more grace and patience. Don't resist change, don't avoid unpredictability, lean in, and recognize there's a chance for growth. 

 

Cultivate Mindfulness

 

Mindfulness is a useful tool and a powerful one in your journey to let go and find balance. By cultivating a level of mindfulness, you are detaching yourself from the desperate need to control everything. Focus on the present, find peace, and enjoy clarity in the here and now instead of getting caught up in the past or obsessing about the future. 

 

Identify Your Areas of Control 

 

As important as it is to understand how limited your control is, it's just as important to recognize your areas of control. When you understand what you can control, you can focus your efforts and energy on those areas to maximize that control. It also gives you a deep sense of empowerment, without the added burden of managing something that's unmanageable. 

 

The Process

 

While some people think letting go is showing weakness, the reality is it's recognition that you are human. Sometimes, you have to surrender to the process and let life do what it's going to do without trying to control every single detail. You can't micromanage, so don't bother trying!

 

The Joy of Imperfection 

 

There are two big issues that plague us – the need for control and perfectionism and they go hand-in-hand. When you embrace imperfection, you're letting go of control – you're letting go of the idea that everything needs to be flawless and freeing yourself from the unrealistic expectations society places on you. Find joy in those imperfections, that's where you can flourish. 

 

Embrace Self-Compassion 

 

Self-compassion is the final piece of the puzzle because you can't let go and find balance without it. You need to recognize that it's okay that you don't have it all figured out, that it's okay if you're still making mistakes – it's all part of the human experience. `Treat yourself with kindness in those moments of uncertainty. 

 

Final Thoughts

 

There is a delicate balancing act between leaning into life and letting go of control. You have to make a conscious effort to loosen your grip on those reins, but in doing so, you will finally be able to find harmony in life! The biggest secret out there is you'll find harmony in this moment, which means letting go and enjoying every moment for what it is. 

 

The Science Of Happiness: Strategies For A Joyful Life

Life can get messy and unpredictable sometimes and some things are just out of our control. The way we react to certain triggers and situations and how we show up in life determine how joyful or miserable our lives can turn out to be. It takes intentional action to make life joyful and live a happy life. 

 

As the famous quote goes, “It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you react to it that matters.” - Epictetus

 

Below are some strategies for living a joyful life: 

 

Find and Prioritize Your Purpose

 

If you want to live a joyful and fulfilled life, finding a purpose is key. Some people may find purpose in their work and job, but you can also find it outside of paid work, such as doing something for the good of the community or society.

 

Look inward and think about something that you feel passionate about, that gives back to the world, that can bring in some income, and that you are good at. This is most likely to be your calling. When you find and prioritize your purpose, you have something to look forward to and wake up to every morning. It gives you a sense of purpose and joy when you fulfill your purpose, leading to a happy and satisfied life. 

 

Nurture Relationships

 

When we look at the centenarians from the Blue Zones, we see that they highly prioritize and nurture their social relationships with friends and family. They live a simple life where one of their focuses is to build and nurture supportive relationships. 

 

Even at 90 years old, these people are seen to be fit, healthy, and happy free of any chronic diseases due to their lifestyle and familial support. Therefore, it is important to learn a lesson from the people of the Blue Zones that nurturing healthy relationship has a positive impact on living a happy life. We all need support in our lives, a shoulder to cry on, and like-minded friends to share the joys of life with. 

 

Let Go of Things that No Longer Serve Us

 

Life is full of different phases and each phase requires a different and more evolved version of you. To live a joyful life, learn to let go of things, people, situations, and memories that no longer serve you, and be clear on who and what deserves to move forward into the next season of your life. 

 

This can help you let go and embrace release, leading to a happier life. To live more joyfully, learn to let go of perfectionism and how you think life ‘should be’ or what ‘could have been.’ Embrace the present moment fully and declutter your life of habits, negative mindsets, toxic relationships, and feelings of regret, guilt, or shame from the past. Learn to let go of any emotional baggage that may deter you from living a joyful life. 

 

Be Kind and Compassionate to Yourself

 

Self-care is an integral part of living a happier life. This can simply mean being kind and compassionate to yourself by not talking negatively to or about yourself. It could also mean practicing self-care like taking time out of work to rest and wind down instead of overworking yourself, focusing on improving your mental and emotional well-being, taking care of your body, and whatever else you may prefer as self-care. 

 

To be happier, you should ditch the negative self-talk, rewire, and reframe your mindset to be more kind to yourself, and see how your life shifts from misery to joy. 

 

Joy can look different to every person. What you perceive as joy may not be the same version for someone else. Some may find joy in nurturing relationships while others may prefer some ‘me time’ with themselves in solitude. 

 

It is important to discover your version of joy to live a happier life. Lastly, remember to fill your cup first so that you can pour it into others. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so find your purpose, do activities that enrich your life, let go easily, lean on others, and laugh more to live a joyful life. 

 

Finding Balance: Juggling Work, Life, And Self-Care

The more technology we have, the easier life is supposed to be – but somehow, the world just gets faster-paced and everything feels much more frantic than it did before. You're trying to kill it in your career while looking after friendships, romance, and maybe even children, but what about self-care? It feels like you're constantly juggling and if you take your eye off any of the balls for even a second, one drops to the ground. 

 

Your career demands your attention. 

 

Your family and friends need you just as much as you need them. 

 

And what about self-care? 

 

Believe it or not, you can have them all if you simply find the right balance… and you can find the tips you need to do that below. 

 

Boundaries and Priorities 

 

Step one in your journey to finding balance is establishing boundaries based on your priorities. That might mean you need to sit down and establish your priorities if you haven't already. That means understanding your core values and getting to grips with what matters most in your personal and professional life. 

 

Once that's settled, you can establish boundaries that will protect your energy and time. Just be ready to communicate your boundaries clearly and be firm when saying no. 

 

Think about your boundaries around technology, too – do you pick up emails even when you're off the clock? Do you feel the need to reply to every message instantly? Think about your relationship with the internet and social media. 

 

Organization and Time Management

 

Organization and time management work in tandem and once you crack this code, you will find it much easier to find balance. Use a calendar or diary, utilize to-do lists, and structure your day to break down your responsibilities and when you will tackle each. 

 

By breaking down every task into manageable moments, you avoid the risk of multitasking, reduce stress, improve productivity, and give yourself time for everything. 

 

Delegate

 

Something that many people struggle with is letting go of control. Let's be clear about this – you can delegate! At work and at home, you can assign appropriate tasks and responsibilities to family members and employees or colleagues. The key to finding balance is sharing the load, so learn to let go. 

 

Take Breaks Intentionally 

 

Part of finding balance and practicing self-care is taking regular breaks, which means you might need to schedule them when you sit down with your calendar and to-do list. So, schedule a take-five, go for a brief walk, sit down for a quiet meditation session, or just chill out with a glass of water or hot tea. A break should not be viewed as a luxury, it's a necessity to improve productivity and performance. 

 

Say No 

 

There's no point in establishing boundaries if you don't learn to say no! 

 

You should be able to say no to things that don't fit or feel right without feeling guilty about it. Everyone has limits, and if saying yes means pushing yourself beyond yours, you need to say no. Whether it's coffee with a friend on your busiest day of the calendar month or picking up an extra project at work when things are hectic at home. There will be times you can say yes to those things, but if you can't say yes now, don't!

 

Lean On Your Support

 

Everyone needs human connections and having a strong support system when you're dealing with life's obstacles and challenges is key. So, be sure that you are surrounded by people who respect you, understand your goals, and build you up. These people should be willing to go 50/50 in sharing responsibilities and happy to pick up the slack from time to time when it's necessary. 

 

Final Thoughts 

 

It might feel like an impossible task, but with a bit of intention, you can strike a balance between work, life, and self-care. It might be difficult at the start, but once you establish your boundaries and learn to stick to them, the rest will come with time and practice. When you do find the balance, you will start to see everything in your life improve. 

Self-Parenting 101

Self-parenting, self-love, and self-care go hand in hand. All three are there to help you make conscious decisions and allow you to take better care of yourself.

 

After doing a lot of internal work, I now have a clearer vision of why we need to practice good self-parenting. The problem is that many people feel this type of self-care is shallow or selfish. But that couldn’t be further from the truth!

 

Below are some self-parenting 101 tips and tricks that can help ensure that you always prioritize what you need to thrive and lead a fulfilling life.

 

Let’s get started.

 

What Is Self-Parenting?

 

In short, self-parenting is a type of focused care that involves healthy living patterns and positive daily habits. It puts a spotlight on the things that truly matter in your life, like sleep, nourishment, and security.

 

Yet, while those are all great ways to manage your overall health, self-parenting takes it a step further.

 

At its core, self-parenting is how you can fulfill unmet needs lingering from your childhood. It’s a way to tone down your inner critic, which is actually a culmination of voices that you’ve internalized and now believe as your own.

 

As a result, you learn how to listen more to your emotions and thoughts. You become more compassionate towards who you are as a person, and you allow yourself to feel worthy and seen.

 

It does this by providing new experiences that can lead to more satisfying behavior and a more positive effect, thus helping you create better outcomes in your life.

 

5 Self-Parenting Tips

 

In my search for ways of being a better parent to myself, I looked at some of the ways good parents care for their kids. Then, I used them to create an outline that adults can apply to themselves to enhance their inner parent.

 

Take a look.

 

Accept Your Emotions

 

Feelings help us define what’s happening so we can articulate our thoughts and act accordingly. When children have intense feelings, it can sometimes be overwhelming. If we’re not taught at a young age how to deal with those big, scary emotions, we still won’t be able to deal with them as adults.

 

This is where self-parenting can really help. Tell yourself that it’s okay to have feelings, no matter how big or small.

 

More importantly, avoid making yourself feel guilty or ashamed about feeling a certain way. Instead, learn how to make the most of these feelings to better understand what you’re going through and help yourself move forward.

 

Set Healthy Boundaries

 

When your life has clearly defined expectations, you can safely navigate and explore within those boundaries. So, make it super clear what you expect of yourself and your life.

 

Yet, we’re trained to listen to our elders and to behave properly. Then, we grow up and we fear what will happen if we assert our needs as adults. So, we put everyone’s needs before our own to avoid rejection.

 

However, with boundaries, you have the power. It may sting a bit if someone rejects you for saying no for whatever reason. But you’ll survive and you’ll come out stronger and more confident.

 

Have Reasonable Expectations

 

Write down realistic goals for the year ahead. Start with long-term goals, then break them down into monthly, weekly, and daily objectives.

 

Working down from larger to more manageable short-term goals will give you a sense of accomplishment. Plus, it helps you focus on what you have to do and avoid feeling hurt or helpless.

 

Remind yourself to be proud of your commitment to do the work. And each time you achieve something on our list, reward yourself. Then, after each one, think about setting new goals that can help you achieve more in your personal and professional life.

 

Create a Regular Routine

 

Knowing that you’ll be doing certain things at certain times is one of the best self-parenting techniques ever! Having a routine helps prepare you for what’s ahead so you can have time to adjust and react accordingly. It also teaches you responsibility, leadership, and discipline.

 

For example, one of the first things experts will advise you to do is to go to bed at a specific time each night. Not only that, but you need to create a nightly ritual to help you unwind and relax at the end of the day.

 

Start by turning off all screens 30–60 minutes before bedtime and dim the lights. You can bring an enjoyable book to read. Or you can play some soft music to ease you into sleep mode and reduce any nighttime jitters you may have.

 

Know Your Core Values

 

Adults who come from neglectful homes are often not taught morals when they were children. So, as your self-parent, it’s up to you to determine what it takes to become a helpful, empathetic member of your community.

 

You also have to learn the importance of respecting yourself and others, as well as being honest and trustworthy. And the best way to do that is by finding out what your core values are.

 

One thing you can do to appreciate the role that helping others has in your life is to volunteer at a local shelter or community center. Even a simple gesture, holding the door for someone or smiling at a stranger, can do miracles for your self-esteem.

 

7 Action Steps To Maximize Your Potential

Maximizing your potential means being more productive and having the ability to flourish in most situations. The basis is to understand your goals and be persistent in achieving them. It requires time, effort, dealing with obstacles, and taking risks to achieve the result. However, the benefits are powerful. Following are seven steps that you can take to maximize your full potential.

 

Step 1: Define Your Goals

When people have defined goals to achieve, they have a roadmap for pursuing their objectives and dreams. The first step is to think about what you want to accomplish in your life, whether it be short or long-term. Goals should be realistic. For example, if your goal is to become a professional actor, but you have no experience, your chances of success are low and can lead to disappointment. On the other hand, realistic goals would be to take classes and perform in local community theater to gain experience.

 

• Make a list of goals that motivate you.
• Evaluate each goal and define the steps needed to achieve the goal.
• Set a completion due date for each step within a goal.
• Monitor your progress.

 

Step 2: Develop a Growth Mindset

People with a growth mindset are optimistic and embrace challenges. Other characteristics include:

 

• Acknowledging areas of self-weakness
• Learning to listen to constructive criticism
• Focusing on the process, not the result 
• Being motivated by the success of others
• Knowing that failure is an opportunity to grow
• Never giving up when things are difficult
• Thinking of learning as an opportunity to exercise the brain

 

Step 3: Journal Your Thoughts and Ideas

Keeping a journal enhances self-growth and can lead you to maximize your potential. Journaling has numerous benefits, such as boosting creativity, improving mental health, and motivating you to achieve goals.

 

• Think about your feelings and write them in your journal.
• Evaluate the triggers for each feeling – what happened that caused the feeling?
• Assess your emotions – for example, were you angry, sad, or embarrassed?
• Examine each scenario for lessons learned – what can you do better in the future?

 

Step 4: Embrace Mistakes

 

Everyone makes mistakes occasionally. When you make an error, you have an opportunity for personal growth by exploring what went wrong and how it happened. The lessons learned will help you to prevent the same mistake in the future. 

 

Step 5: Opportunities and Risk

 

As you work toward maximizing your potential, you may encounter risks. Assume that you have a limited budget to achieve your goal. There is a risk that you could run out of money to bring your objective to a successful conclusion. This may cause you to worry excessively about the risk, distracting you and decreasing productivity. You might feel like giving up.

 

Avoid worrying about risks by identifying the types of risks that could occur. Evaluate each risk and how to mitigate it: accept, avoid, reduce, or transfer it. Learn more about Risk Management at Coursera.

 

Step 6: Practice Self-Care

 

When you feel good mentally and physically, you may reap the benefits of increased motivation, adaptability to changes and coping with difficult situations, reduced stress, a sense of well-being and happiness, and more. 

 

Start your self-care journey by eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep. 

 

Step 7: Manage Your Time

In today’s hectic world, it feels as though there is never enough time to do everything. Don’t let that be a blocker to reaching your full potential. Following are several time management tips to help you make the most of your time.

 

• Plan Ahead: The evening before, plan for the next day. Make your to-do list and prioritize each task. Remove tasks that are not essential or delay low-priority tasks to another day.
• Minimize Interruptions: Set a “do not disturb” time each day. During that time, find a quiet place and temporarily ignore social media, phone calls, texts, and emails. Share your boundaries with those you know so they are aware. You’ll accomplish more in less time without unnecessary interruptions.

 

Conclusion

 

Being your best self requires knowing your goals and making a lifelong commitment to learning. It takes time and practice to improve yourself; the benefits are vast. When you maximize your potential, you have a vision for your life and are on the road to success! 

 

7 Good Morning Questions That Create Happiness

Voltaire says, “Judge someone by their questions, rather than by their answers.”

 

In other words, the right kind of questions are those that expand your thinking. They make you reflect on how to be better and do better. They can also help determine the quality of your day.

 

A good question can be especially helpful in the morning when you’re trying to get ready for work or school.

 

So, why not try to add some liveliness and vigor to your mornings with a few motivational questions?

 

Starting your day out with purpose and a sense of gratitude has been proven to be one of the most effective ways to live a happy, fulfilling life.

 

Asking the right questions in the morning has the power to put you in a good mood for the whole day. As a result, having a positive mindset allows you to focus more, retain more information, and get more done.

 

Here are seven good morning questions to create happiness and start your day with focus and energy. Try them out and see which ones work best for you.

 

What is the most important thing I can do today for my well-being?

 

There’s a reason why they tell you to put on your oxygen mask first. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of others. So, take the time to figure out what you can do to serve your own well-being.

 

Remember, every day is a new chance to change and improve the life you’re living. Work hard to reach your goals and achieve the things you believe in. Take small steps, and before you know it, you’ll get closer and closer to your goals.

 

What am I excited about accomplishing today?

 

Visualize your schedule for the day, starting from when you walk out of the door, reach your workplace, then come back home. What tasks do you need to accomplish? Do you have any deadlines for today? Meetings?

 

Try to picture everything in detail but put more focus on the positive aspects of your day. By giving yourself something to look forward to, you’ll be better equipped to handle the complex or tedious tasks of the day.

 

How can I encourage others, and myself, today?

 

To accomplish anything meaningful in life, you need to dream big and believe in those dreams. The more you believe, the farther you’ll get.

 

Yet, sometimes, we need a small push to get us going. This is when spreading around some reassuring words of encouragement and motivation. Be courageous in your thinking, yet also maintain your sense of optimism and cheerfulness. In other words, have your head in the clouds and your feet firmly planted in the ground.

 

Don’t forget to spread your eagerness and zeal to everyone around you.

 

What am I grateful for?

 

Socrates said, “Contentment is natural wealth, luxury is artificial poverty.”

 

Don’t waste your life fixating on what you don’t have rather than what you already have. If you do, you’ll never have enough.

 

The best thing you can do is appreciate the goodness that’s already yours, and you’ll have plenty to be grateful for. When you appreciate the people and things in your life, you’ll discover that you have a lot to live for.

 

How can I show my love to those I care about?

 

Relationships with friends, family, and life partners only work when the two sides decide to make a conscious effort to put in the work. They can be small acts of love and appreciation, just to tell one another that you’re there and that you care.

 

But these small acts go a long way in, especially when they come from the heart because it’s not so much what you do as it is how you do it. So, understand what matters most to those you care about. Then, spend a few minutes showing them in their own love language.

 

Can I take a break?

 

This question can be taken to mean two things: can I take a break for the entire day? Or can I take a break during the day?

 

If you find that you keep asking yourself the first question every morning, it could be your body’s way of telling you need to schedule time for yourself. Try to set aside no less than 15 minutes each day for some self-care.

 

On the other hand, if you’re asking yourself ‘Can I take a break during the day?’ that alone can unlock those feel-good hormones and happy emotions.

 

Even if your schedule is packed for the day, knowing that you have a break coming up will give you something to look forward to.

 

What would I like to remember about today?

 

Every day is special because it’s a chance to live your truth and take action toward meaningful goals. Yet, many times we take our days for granted without embracing the gift we’re giving with each sunrise.

 

So, ask yourself this: what can you do today that’s worth remembering?