3 Reasons and 3 Ways to be Present

The greatest minds on the subject will tell you we don't fully understand what existence is. For regular people, there's the idea of a past, a present, and a future. We understand we're living right now, and that's pretty much what we can wrap our minds around. We see our life playing out before us. We have senses we use to experience the world.

 

We're in the present now and have memories of a past existence. We have hopes and plans for our future. For most of us, that's what we know about life.

 

Deep thinkers tell us that all we have is the present moment. When you think about it, that makes sense. Your past is gone. There's no control over it. You really don't have any control over your future either. All you have is right now. As it turns out, embracing your present reality has a lot of benefits. Here are three reasons why you should spend more time in the present moment and three simple ways you can do just that.

 

3 Benefits of Embracing the Moment

 

1. Better Relationships and Improved Social Skills

 

Focusing on right now opens your eyes. You see the people in your life with more clarity. This includes those that you barely interact with, as well as the people you see frequently. That leads to better social skills and healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

 

2. Less Stress and Anxiety

 

This is the go-to benefit lifelong mindfulness practitioners talk about. There is much less stress when you worry less about tomorrow, next week, and next month and appreciate the present. 

 

3. Greater Self-Love and Self-Esteem

 

Being mindful of your present state of being leads to self-awareness. You find you have so much more to appreciate about who you are right now and fewer expectations of your future self.

 

3 Simple Ways To Live in the Present Moment

 

1. Breathe Deeply

 

Take a few deep breaths and focus on them. Breathe in and out and appreciate your present moment. Do this for a couple of minutes whenever you need to calm your racing mind. This is a stress-relieving aspect of mindfulness, meditation, yoga, and other practices for living in the now.

 

2. Practice Daily Gratitude

 

Look around you. What do you have to be grateful for? Your truest blessings are here right now. Practice gratitude each day for the good things in your life. This teaches you to appreciate the present moment instead of spending all your time wishing for something better in the future.

 

3. Forgive Yourself and Others

 

Forgiving is about letting go of the past. You remove future expectations as well. This is key to experiencing all you can in the present moment.

 

Those are just a few reasons why being present is so important. You also have three proven ways to focus more on right now and less on the past and future. Give yourself the gift of being present today so that your tomorrow can be more fulfilling.

 

Don't Let Your Circumstances Dictate Your Self-Worth

Star Trek was a groundbreaking science fiction TV series of the 1960s. A matter transporter was one of the technological wonders the show employed in many episodes. An object or a person could be teleported from the Star Ship Enterprise to a transporter on board another spacecraft or a nearby planet.

 

Imagine that the fictitious transporter worked. You could teleport yourself from your current location to anywhere else on earth. You could leave any environment or situation in just a few seconds and transport yourself to a much more favorable location.

 

If you are familiar with the original Star Trek television series or the many TV and movie shows and films it spawned, you know how timely the transporter could be. Captain Kirk, Spock, Dr. McCoy, and others were often saved from imminent death when transported to a much safer and friendlier location.

 

Transporting Your Self-Worth

 

You have a virtual transporter in your mind. You can transport yourself to another reality whenever your experiences change. When things are going great, many people live in a high self-worth reality. When life gets tough, they shift their self-worth to a lower-quality reality. 

 

We often allow our perception of ourselves to change due to our experiences. We allow people, places, and things to change our feelings. If we already struggle with self-worth, it happens more often than not. It’s part of being human, a flawed human that we all are. That doesn’t make it right. It just means you need to be aware of the possibility of it happening.

 

Keep this in mind, your environment and your thoughts might change but it doesn’t change the unique individual you are. You are a good person soul deep. You are capable and worthy. So, wherever you go, no matter what external factors are involved, there you are.

 

There’s No Need to Shift Your Self-Worth

 

Feeling the need to flee doesn't happen to someone with a high level of self-worth. They recognize the person that they are inside no matter what external factors are happening around them. 

 

People with a great self-image and high self-esteem are comfortable in their skin. They don't change their opinion of who they are just because of the surrounding circumstances. This is good because our circumstances and experiences frequently change without us being able to stop them.

 

Value yourself. Embrace who you are, warts and all. Intimately get to know your strengths and weaknesses, your skills and abilities. Respect the fact that you are a unique individual that has never existed before you came along and will never exist after you are gone. That's reason enough to respect and love yourself greatly. 

 

Admire who you are. You were created uniquely and are valuable to the world just as you are. Don't let your present circumstances change the way you perceive yourself because they can change without any control on your part.

 

Why Do We Struggle With Self-Care?

We all know that self-care is important to your well-being and success in life. This fact alone doesn't make it any easier to carve out more time in your life for it. Please keep reading to discover some of the reasons you may struggle with self-care so that you can be more aware as you try to work it into your routine. 

 

You Feel Shame

 

Many people don’t find the time for self-care for the simple reason that deep down; they don't believe that they deserve it. This comes from a poor self-image when an individual doesn't believe they are worth the time for proper self-care. Improving your self-image and reminding yourself that you are deserving of self-care can make it easier to schedule time in your busy life for it. 

 

You Don’t Want to Make the Effort

 

It is also an effort to set aside time out of your schedule to take care of yourself, and some people are too lazy to make this effort. Often this laziness goes back to a poor self-image or poor time management, or both, so these two aspects may need to be addressed if you find yourself not wanting to make an effort to include self-care in your life. Sometimes these people find it is easier to engage in self-care when they put it directly into their schedule. 

 

You Don’t Know What Self-Care is

 

In this day and age, it is common to hear people say "treat yourself," and it's important to distinguish that treating yourself is not self-care. Treating yourself should come as a reward after a specific activity, not a regular staple in your life. For example, "treating yourself" is an ice cream cone on a Friday night, while "self-care" is being sure you eat enough healthy fruits and vegetables. 

 

You Are Tired

 

The number one reason that people struggle with self-care is that they are tired. This is a self-perpetuating problem because, without proper self-care, you will feel increasingly tired. If this is something you struggle with, it's important to get over that first hump of self-care and get yourself some rest so that you don't feel too tired for future self-care sessions. 

 

All in all, there are several reasons you could be struggling with self-care. This article might not even list your specific reason here. Regardless, it would be best if you found out why you are struggling with self-care so that you can solve the problem. Without self-care, you will be tired and stressed for the rest of your life. 

 

Self-Parenting 101

Self-parenting, self-love, and self-care go hand in hand. All three are there to help you make conscious decisions and allow you to take better care of yourself.

 

After doing a lot of internal work, I now have a clearer vision of why we need to practice good self-parenting. The problem is that many people feel this type of self-care is shallow or selfish. But that couldn’t be further from the truth!

 

Below are some self-parenting 101 tips and tricks that can help ensure that you always prioritize what you need to thrive and lead a fulfilling life.

 

Let’s get started.

 

What Is Self-Parenting?

 

In short, self-parenting is a type of focused care that involves healthy living patterns and positive daily habits. It puts a spotlight on the things that truly matter in your life, like sleep, nourishment, and security.

 

Yet, while those are all great ways to manage your overall health, self-parenting takes it a step further.

 

At its core, self-parenting is how you can fulfill unmet needs lingering from your childhood. It’s a way to tone down your inner critic, which is actually a culmination of voices that you’ve internalized and now believe as your own.

 

As a result, you learn how to listen more to your emotions and thoughts. You become more compassionate towards who you are as a person, and you allow yourself to feel worthy and seen.

 

It does this by providing new experiences that can lead to more satisfying behavior and a more positive effect, thus helping you create better outcomes in your life.

 

5 Self-Parenting Tips

 

In my search for ways of being a better parent to myself, I looked at some of the ways good parents care for their kids. Then, I used them to create an outline that adults can apply to themselves to enhance their inner parent.

 

Take a look.

 

Accept Your Emotions

 

Feelings help us define what’s happening so we can articulate our thoughts and act accordingly. When children have intense feelings, it can sometimes be overwhelming. If we’re not taught at a young age how to deal with those big, scary emotions, we still won’t be able to deal with them as adults.

 

This is where self-parenting can really help. Tell yourself that it’s okay to have feelings, no matter how big or small.

 

More importantly, avoid making yourself feel guilty or ashamed about feeling a certain way. Instead, learn how to make the most of these feelings to better understand what you’re going through and help yourself move forward.

 

Set Healthy Boundaries

 

When your life has clearly defined expectations, you can safely navigate and explore within those boundaries. So, make it super clear what you expect of yourself and your life.

 

Yet, we’re trained to listen to our elders and to behave properly. Then, we grow up and we fear what will happen if we assert our needs as adults. So, we put everyone’s needs before our own to avoid rejection.

 

However, with boundaries, you have the power. It may sting a bit if someone rejects you for saying no for whatever reason. But you’ll survive and you’ll come out stronger and more confident.

 

Have Reasonable Expectations

 

Write down realistic goals for the year ahead. Start with long-term goals, then break them down into monthly, weekly, and daily objectives.

 

Working down from larger to more manageable short-term goals will give you a sense of accomplishment. Plus, it helps you focus on what you have to do and avoid feeling hurt or helpless.

 

Remind yourself to be proud of your commitment to do the work. And each time you achieve something on our list, reward yourself. Then, after each one, think about setting new goals that can help you achieve more in your personal and professional life.

 

Create a Regular Routine

 

Knowing that you’ll be doing certain things at certain times is one of the best self-parenting techniques ever! Having a routine helps prepare you for what’s ahead so you can have time to adjust and react accordingly. It also teaches you responsibility, leadership, and discipline.

 

For example, one of the first things experts will advise you to do is to go to bed at a specific time each night. Not only that, but you need to create a nightly ritual to help you unwind and relax at the end of the day.

 

Start by turning off all screens 30–60 minutes before bedtime and dim the lights. You can bring an enjoyable book to read. Or you can play some soft music to ease you into sleep mode and reduce any nighttime jitters you may have.

 

Know Your Core Values

 

Adults who come from neglectful homes are often not taught morals when they were children. So, as your self-parent, it’s up to you to determine what it takes to become a helpful, empathetic member of your community.

 

You also have to learn the importance of respecting yourself and others, as well as being honest and trustworthy. And the best way to do that is by finding out what your core values are.

 

One thing you can do to appreciate the role that helping others has in your life is to volunteer at a local shelter or community center. Even a simple gesture, holding the door for someone or smiling at a stranger, can do miracles for your self-esteem.

 

The Stress Relieving Value of Accepting Your Differences

Were you ever teased as a child? A lot of us were. Some kids will make fun of others who are fatter or skinnier, taller or shorter, or different in some other way. They, unfortunately, learn this behavior from adults who likewise chastise their colleagues, friends, and others for nothing more than being different.

 

This becomes a big problem when several children attack another child and declare some difference to be negative. When this behavior is ongoing, the different child can begin to feel low self-worth. After all, if everyone is telling her that she's different and that her differences aren't good, they must be right.

 

Why else would they all be saying the same thing? That child becomes upset with the person she sees in the mirror. Why is she overweight? Why is her skin different from others? Why wasn't she given the intelligence that all her friends have? This leads to self-doubt, low self-esteem, and in some cases, risky and unsafe behavior.

 

Stress Is a Killer, but It Doesn't Have To Be

 

Obviously, that's a very stressful scenario. Unfortunately, this is a common situation for not just children but teens, young adults, and even older grown-ups.

 

It causes so much stress, both physical and mental. The stress starts to build up because the differences are seen as negative. The marvelous, unique individual that was created is not allowed to be who they really are. They try not to be themselves.

 

On the physiological side of the equation, this chronic stress produces chemicals that lead to anxiety, depression, and other negative feelings. Ask any doctor, and they'll tell you stress is related to most chronic illnesses and many major causes of death.

 

Your differences don't have to be stressful. They shouldn't be. When you embrace who you are, you realize you have much to offer the world. You're fine just like you are right now. This leads to confidence and less stress. You aren't as anxious about trying to please others by fitting into some silly idea they have of who you should be.

 

Your confidence and self-esteem go up when you accept and love your differences. 

 

You'll also find that certain people in your life want to manipulate you rather than accept who you are. Perhaps you should move on from these people and spend more time with supportive individuals who encourage your uniqueness.

 

Be happy with who you are. You're the only "you" that will ever be created. There will never be another human being exactly like you. When you embrace that fact and look at your differences as advantages, you'll suffer less stress and anxiety and enjoy more self-love, fulfillment, and success.

 

The Importance of Self-Love

You’ve been told time and time again to love those around you, but did you know that you also must love yourself? There are several reasons to love yourself, all of which are important. Read on to find out more about the importance of self-love and why you should prioritize it in your life. 

 

Self-Love is Important for Relationships

 

The number one reason self-love is important is that before you can love someone else, you must first learn to love yourself. You learn about how to treat someone you love based on how you treat yourself. So if you don’t treat yourself with respect and love, you won’t be able to treat someone you love the same way. This can ruin your relationships with others, both friends and family alike. Therefore, if you want to love others, start by loving yourself.

 

Without Self-Love, You’ll Burn Out

 

Besides learning how to love yourself to love others, you also need to learn how to love yourself so you don't burn out. Burnout happens when you spend too much time focusing on others or your duties in life and neglecting self-care. It is characterized by an inability to focus and a sense of exhaustion that won't go away. Self-love is important because it helps keep you from burning out. 

 

Self-Love is Critical to Success

 

Do you want to be successful? Who doesn't! Self-love is important for success. This is because you can't possibly focus on bettering yourself or your place in life while you are constantly being negative about yourself or your abilities. You need to love yourself and embrace your flaws to use them to your advantage. Learning to love even the mistakes you make is a critical part of self-love. 

 

Self-Love Makes You Happier

 

Do you enjoy walking around not liking who you are as a person? Probably not. It is impossible to be happy when you spend your whole life hating on yourself and not loving yourself. If you want to lead a happy and healthy life, you need to work towards self-love today. Plus, you will feel better when you practice self-love, and when you feel better about yourself and the world around you, happiness isn't that far behind!

 

Self-love is a difficult thing to pursue in life, but it is critical to the quality of your life. Without self-love, you will have poor relationships with others, you may burn out, and you will probably never achieve success. Not to mention that you probably won't lead a very happy life! This is why you should put self-love first in your life today!