6 Benefits to Having an Unwavering Belief In Yourself

Every day we make dozens of decisions. Our whole day is nothing more than a series of actions, one after another. We're used to it because this is part of what it means to be an adult, right?

 

The thing is, sometimes, we become worn down by the challenges of life. We miss the mark and start to doubt ourselves. Life becomes more difficult. 

 

What does this have to do with the decisions we make or the actions we take? Simple. When you start faltering, you lose your belief in yourself. Everything becomes a little harder. 

 

Now consider what it would be like to simplify things again. By believing in yourself, amazing things happen.

 

You Show Yourself Respect

 

When you doubt yourself, you run yourself down. You're saying you're not good enough or smart enough to know what you're doing when in truth, you are. You wouldn't allow someone to do this to your best friend. Why would you do it to yourself? Instead, by choosing confidence, you're also choosing to acknowledge just how awesome you are.

 

You Learn About Yourself

 

We all have a lot of knowledge we're not even aware we possess. This knowledge is an accumulation of wisdom we've collected in our lives that we tap into when making decisions. When you trust your instincts, you discover just how much you truly do know.

 

You Push Yourself

 

Sure, some decisions are easy. History tells us exactly what to expect when we make them. But when you take a leap of faith into unwavering self-confidence, you're also challenging yourself to see how much you truly know and just how right you can be. It is a pretty powerful feeling.

 

You Gain More

 

Nothing is ever gained by standing still. When you hesitate because of self-doubt, you're going to miss all kinds of possibilities. Lack of confidence keeps us from trying new things. After all, if there's no chance of success, why even try? But confidence knows you've got what it takes to seize an opportunity when you see it.

 

You Learn Tenacity

 

When you don't trust yourself, you tend to avoid the hard decisions entirely, stalling out any progress in your life. By choosing to believe in yourself, you keep going, learning how to hang in there during the rough stuff. This is also where you achieve real growth as an individual.

 

You Feel Motivated

 

When you're down on yourself, it's easy to think there's no point in even trying. Self-doubt will drop you right into depression if you're not careful. But unwavering self-belief creates optimism. The whole world looks brighter, and you can't wait to be part of it because you know you have what it takes to succeed there.

 

4 Ways You Can Deal with Self-Doubt

Everyone experiences self-doubt from time to time. It's part of life. The important thing is that when you do experience self-doubt, you handle it in the right way. This will ensure that you can overcome it and get back on the road to success in no time at all. Keep reading to find a few ways to deal with self-doubt when negative thoughts arise. 

 

1. Resolve Not to Compare Yourself With Others

 

Often, thoughts of self-doubt come when you compare yourself to someone else. Resolve in advance not to let this happen. 

 

When it does (which it probably will at some point), remind yourself that you aren't the other person. They have a journey completely different from your own. Look at how far you've come on your journey. Your journey is yours and yours alone. 

 

2. Remember the Past is the Past

 

Many people experience self-doubt when thinking about the past. Whenever the past comes up in your mind, remind yourself that it is over and done with. If you dwell on the past, it will make self-doubt worse.

 

Look towards the future and all of the plans you have instead. It can also help to list all the things you are grateful for in the present. 

 

3. Remind Yourself that Failures are Lessons

 

Everyone will have failures at some point in their life. This is inevitable. When you experience a failure, you will likely have some thoughts of self-doubt. 

 

Don't let these get you down. Instead of focusing on the negative, resolve to focus on the positive. Run through the lessons you have learned to feel confident you won't make the same mistake again.

 

4. Have a Support System

 

There is nothing worse than experiencing self-doubts and feeling alone simultaneously. You should do everything in your power to have a support system in place when these doubts start to creep in. 

 

The support system doesn't have to be physical. It could also be a forum or an online support group. Either way, it should be someone you trust to talk to when the going gets rough. They can help remind you of what an amazing person you are and the journey you’ve embarked on to get where you are.  

 

Overall, battling self-doubt when it pops up is never easy. If you follow the four suggestions on this list, you will find yourself well equipped to deal with self-doubt when it does arise. Before you know it, you'll be back on your way to achieving your dreams as your confident and amazing self! 

 

Why Do We Struggle With Self-Care?

We all know that self-care is important to your well-being and success in life. This fact alone doesn't make it any easier to carve out more time in your life for it. Please keep reading to discover some of the reasons you may struggle with self-care so that you can be more aware as you try to work it into your routine. 

 

You Feel Shame

 

Many people don’t find the time for self-care for the simple reason that deep down; they don't believe that they deserve it. This comes from a poor self-image when an individual doesn't believe they are worth the time for proper self-care. Improving your self-image and reminding yourself that you are deserving of self-care can make it easier to schedule time in your busy life for it. 

 

You Don’t Want to Make the Effort

 

It is also an effort to set aside time out of your schedule to take care of yourself, and some people are too lazy to make this effort. Often this laziness goes back to a poor self-image or poor time management, or both, so these two aspects may need to be addressed if you find yourself not wanting to make an effort to include self-care in your life. Sometimes these people find it is easier to engage in self-care when they put it directly into their schedule. 

 

You Don’t Know What Self-Care is

 

In this day and age, it is common to hear people say "treat yourself," and it's important to distinguish that treating yourself is not self-care. Treating yourself should come as a reward after a specific activity, not a regular staple in your life. For example, "treating yourself" is an ice cream cone on a Friday night, while "self-care" is being sure you eat enough healthy fruits and vegetables. 

 

You Are Tired

 

The number one reason that people struggle with self-care is that they are tired. This is a self-perpetuating problem because, without proper self-care, you will feel increasingly tired. If this is something you struggle with, it's important to get over that first hump of self-care and get yourself some rest so that you don't feel too tired for future self-care sessions. 

 

All in all, there are several reasons you could be struggling with self-care. This article might not even list your specific reason here. Regardless, it would be best if you found out why you are struggling with self-care so that you can solve the problem. Without self-care, you will be tired and stressed for the rest of your life. 

 

The Balancing Act: Letting Go Of The Need To Control Everything And Finding Harmony

As chaotic as modern life can be, you can find balance. It's difficult to get it right, especially when you're trying to embrace life's spontaneity while also creating an efficient routine to maximize your time and opportunities. 

 

There's a big part of it that requires control, the problem is that the desire for too much control can stress you out and make you incredibly anxious. This need for too much control steeps you into a state of perpetual tension. Here, we talk about the balancing act and the art of letting go. 

 

Control is an Illusion 

 

Control is an illusion, it's the idea that you can dictate all of the outcomes throughout your life. There are, of course, certain things you can control. If you're getting a degree, license, or qualification in something, you can control the level of study you put in for the testing process. That's in your hands. 

 

Not everything is that simple, though, and the reality is most things in life are inherently unpredictable. So, the more you cling to this illusion of control, the more stressed out you become and the more frustrated and disappointed you feel when things don't go your way. Accept that there are limits to what you can control. 

 

Embrace the Uncertainty 

 

Some of the beauty of life lies in its unpredictability, some of the greatest moments of your life probably came from nowhere. Embrace that uncertainty, it might be a shift in your perspective, but it gives you the freedom to navigate new situations with more grace and patience. Don't resist change, don't avoid unpredictability, lean in, and recognize there's a chance for growth. 

 

Cultivate Mindfulness

 

Mindfulness is a useful tool and a powerful one in your journey to let go and find balance. By cultivating a level of mindfulness, you are detaching yourself from the desperate need to control everything. Focus on the present, find peace, and enjoy clarity in the here and now instead of getting caught up in the past or obsessing about the future. 

 

Identify Your Areas of Control 

 

As important as it is to understand how limited your control is, it's just as important to recognize your areas of control. When you understand what you can control, you can focus your efforts and energy on those areas to maximize that control. It also gives you a deep sense of empowerment, without the added burden of managing something that's unmanageable. 

 

The Process

 

While some people think letting go is showing weakness, the reality is it's recognition that you are human. Sometimes, you have to surrender to the process and let life do what it's going to do without trying to control every single detail. You can't micromanage, so don't bother trying!

 

The Joy of Imperfection 

 

There are two big issues that plague us – the need for control and perfectionism and they go hand-in-hand. When you embrace imperfection, you're letting go of control – you're letting go of the idea that everything needs to be flawless and freeing yourself from the unrealistic expectations society places on you. Find joy in those imperfections, that's where you can flourish. 

 

Embrace Self-Compassion 

 

Self-compassion is the final piece of the puzzle because you can't let go and find balance without it. You need to recognize that it's okay that you don't have it all figured out, that it's okay if you're still making mistakes – it's all part of the human experience. `Treat yourself with kindness in those moments of uncertainty. 

 

Final Thoughts

 

There is a delicate balancing act between leaning into life and letting go of control. You have to make a conscious effort to loosen your grip on those reins, but in doing so, you will finally be able to find harmony in life! The biggest secret out there is you'll find harmony in this moment, which means letting go and enjoying every moment for what it is. 

 

Forgiveness As Liberation: The Art Of Letting Go Of Resentment

Everyone has experienced conflict and hurt from other’s words or conduct. Suppose a co-worker got credit for your work, or you were bullied as a child. Incidents such as these leave you feeling resentful, bitter, and angry long-term if not resolved. Unresolved resentment can have a significant impact on your health.

 

“There is an enormous physical burden to being hurt and disappointed,” says Karen Swartz, M.D., director of the Mood Disorders Adult Consultation Clinic, Johns Hopkins Hospital. Chronic resentment can affect blood pressure, heart rate, and immune response, raising the risk of heart disease, depression, and other conditions.

 

On a positive note, forgiveness helps to calm your stress level, resulting in better physical and mental health.

 

Why Do We Feel Resentment?

 

When someone hurts us, we may feel a range of negative emotions such as sadness, hostility, or even hatred. When we don’t let go and forgive, we are consumed with those pessimistic feelings, affecting our self-esteem and well-being. If you are suffering from chronic resentment, you can learn to be forgiving; forgiving is a choice.

 

What is Forgiveness?

 

Psychologists commonly define forgiveness as “A conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.” 

 

Bear in mind that you can forgive without denying or forgetting the wrongdoing against you. You are not required to mend a bad relationship or release others from legal liability. 

 

How to Forgive

 

Choose Forgiveness

 

First, you need to decide whether you choose to forgive. While you don't have to forgive, it is to your benefit to do so. Research by the Annals of Behavioral Medicine shows that increased forgiveness decreases perceived stress and improves mental and physical health.

 

Leverage the Power of Positive Thinking

The effect of negative thinking and feelings is unhappiness. In order to heal, be consciously aware when you’re burdened with pessimistic thoughts. Use positive self-talk to replace the distressing thoughts. For example, you may want to retaliate against the person who hurt you. Remind yourself that you will be fair with that person and that you will not mirror their harmful actions.

 

Change Your Perspective

Think about the other person to understand their actions better. Was the person hurt by others or mistreated? Is the person going through a difficult time? That person may be in pain, struggling with chronic resentment, affecting their behavior with others. Look at the person with a compassionate perspective to gain insight. You don’t need to excuse the person, but you can forgive and move forward.

 

Acknowledge and Accept Your Pain

Recognize the hurt you’re feeling; don’t avoid it. Explore the emotions you’re experiencing and accept the pain. Psychology Today reports “Pain is actually a necessary part of happiness, and research shows that it can lead to pleasure in several ways.” For example, pain helps you recognize happiness; otherwise, you wouldn’t recognize it as happiness. Also, relief from pain is pleasurable and increases your happiness.

 

Conclusion

When someone hurts us, we may have a difficult time letting go of the feelings of resentment. Chronic resentment harms our well-being in many ways. On the other hand, forgiveness frees us from negative emotions, calms our stress levels, and brings us peace of mind. While we don’t have to deny or forget the offense against us, letting go of resentment and practicing forgiveness is liberating and necessary for optimal wellness.

"I think the first step is to understand that forgiveness does not exonerate the perpetrator. Forgiveness liberates the victim. It's a gift you give yourself." - T.D. Jakes

 

References

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/forgiveness-your-health-depends-on-it

 

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/forgiveness/definition#what-is-forgiveness

 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5055412/

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201511/5-reasons-you-have-accept-pain-if-you-want-be-happy#:~:text=But%20pain%20is%20actually%20a,t%20recognize%20it%20as%20happiness

Detox Your Mind: The Importance Of Letting Go Of Negative Thoughts

You might believe that negative thoughts only impact your mental space. However, the truth is that negative thoughts have the capability to invade every area of life. Here, we look at three major areas affected by negative thoughts, including mental health, physical health, and social health.

 

Mental Health

 

Negative thoughts don’t feel good. We all know that. Beyond just making us feel miserable in the moment, though, there are long-term mental health consequences of allowing negative thoughts into our mind. Some of the potential diagnoses that could arise from repeated negativity include:

 

• Major Depressive Disorder

 

• Generalized Anxiety Disorder

 

• Social Anxiety Disorder

 

• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

 

• Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

 

• Psychosis

 

Even if the mental health concerns don’t advance to an official diagnosis, you could still experience a number of mental health symptoms due to frequent negative thoughts. Some of these include:

 

• Depression

 

• Anxiety

 

• Panic attacks

 

• Low self-esteem

 

• Perfectionism

 

Physical Health

 

The mind has a lot more power over the body than most people realize. The way you think impacts how healthy your physical body is. Some examples are:

 

• Increased risk of diagnoses such as asthma, cardiovascular disease, and high blood pressure

 

• Decreased immune system strength

 

• Healthier weight

 

• Healthier blood sugar levels

 

You’ve certainly heard the phrase “mind over matter” at some point in your life. This refers to using the mind to control the body’s physical reactions to external stimuli. You can apply this principal to positive versus negative thinking. When you allow negative thoughts, your physical condition worsens in general.

 

Social Health

 

Negative thoughts can destroy any type of relationship. When you have excessive negative thoughts, you tend to ignore positive experiences and characteristics of others. This can also lead to you believing things about the other person that simply aren’t true or making up devastating scenarios in your head. You’ll also find that you’re more sensitive to jokes and other comments in conversation with others. This negativity not only damages your trust and connection with the other person but it also causes you to treat others negatively as well. Some examples of social relationships that could be affected include:

 

• Romantic partners

 

• Friends

 

• Family members

 

• Coworkers and/or supervisors

 

• Neighbors

 

• Teammates and hobby club members

 

• Classmates

 

How to Let Go of Negative Thinking

 

The first step in overcoming negative thoughts is a desire to change your thought patterns. You have to be committed. It will be tough at times but, with the right motivation, you can make it through. Try these tips for overcoming negative thoughts:

 

• Journal daily and write out your negative thoughts and emotions. Turning them into a physical form prevents them from lingering in your mind.

 

• Designate a time of day to review negative thoughts. Write down your thoughts when they occur outside this 10-15 minute time frame. This lets you move on quickly throughout your day and process later.

 

• Replace negative thoughts with positive ones when they occur. For example, instead of beating yourself up for being late, be thankful that your friend is willing to be flexible.

 

• Consciously dedicate energy toward receiving and giving love and positivity.

 

• Take care of your physical health. Again, the mind-body connection is a powerful force. Take care of one and the other will improve.

 

• Use positive affirmations for yourself and others. For example, give yourself praise for even the smallest victories.

 

• Practice gratitude for the relationships, possessions, and achievements that you have.

 

• Avoid upsetting media consumption. Incorporate humor and heartwarming media into your daily life.

 

• Dedicate your negative energy toward something productive when the thoughts occur.

 

• Practice daily meditation, such as mindfulness and loving-kindness meditation.

 

Source Links

 

https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2016/05/09/13-coaches-explain-how-to-overcome-negative-thought-patterns/?sh=147fd31b35cb

 

https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2015/08/positive-emotions-your-health

 

https://www.news-medical.net/health/How-Do-Your-Emotions-Affect-Your-Physical-Health.aspx

 

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2020/01/negativity-can-ruin-relationships/604597/

 

https://www.verywellmind.com/negative-self-talk-and-how-it-affects-us-4161304

 

Self-Parenting 101

Self-parenting, self-love, and self-care go hand in hand. All three are there to help you make conscious decisions and allow you to take better care of yourself.

 

After doing a lot of internal work, I now have a clearer vision of why we need to practice good self-parenting. The problem is that many people feel this type of self-care is shallow or selfish. But that couldn’t be further from the truth!

 

Below are some self-parenting 101 tips and tricks that can help ensure that you always prioritize what you need to thrive and lead a fulfilling life.

 

Let’s get started.

 

What Is Self-Parenting?

 

In short, self-parenting is a type of focused care that involves healthy living patterns and positive daily habits. It puts a spotlight on the things that truly matter in your life, like sleep, nourishment, and security.

 

Yet, while those are all great ways to manage your overall health, self-parenting takes it a step further.

 

At its core, self-parenting is how you can fulfill unmet needs lingering from your childhood. It’s a way to tone down your inner critic, which is actually a culmination of voices that you’ve internalized and now believe as your own.

 

As a result, you learn how to listen more to your emotions and thoughts. You become more compassionate towards who you are as a person, and you allow yourself to feel worthy and seen.

 

It does this by providing new experiences that can lead to more satisfying behavior and a more positive effect, thus helping you create better outcomes in your life.

 

5 Self-Parenting Tips

 

In my search for ways of being a better parent to myself, I looked at some of the ways good parents care for their kids. Then, I used them to create an outline that adults can apply to themselves to enhance their inner parent.

 

Take a look.

 

Accept Your Emotions

 

Feelings help us define what’s happening so we can articulate our thoughts and act accordingly. When children have intense feelings, it can sometimes be overwhelming. If we’re not taught at a young age how to deal with those big, scary emotions, we still won’t be able to deal with them as adults.

 

This is where self-parenting can really help. Tell yourself that it’s okay to have feelings, no matter how big or small.

 

More importantly, avoid making yourself feel guilty or ashamed about feeling a certain way. Instead, learn how to make the most of these feelings to better understand what you’re going through and help yourself move forward.

 

Set Healthy Boundaries

 

When your life has clearly defined expectations, you can safely navigate and explore within those boundaries. So, make it super clear what you expect of yourself and your life.

 

Yet, we’re trained to listen to our elders and to behave properly. Then, we grow up and we fear what will happen if we assert our needs as adults. So, we put everyone’s needs before our own to avoid rejection.

 

However, with boundaries, you have the power. It may sting a bit if someone rejects you for saying no for whatever reason. But you’ll survive and you’ll come out stronger and more confident.

 

Have Reasonable Expectations

 

Write down realistic goals for the year ahead. Start with long-term goals, then break them down into monthly, weekly, and daily objectives.

 

Working down from larger to more manageable short-term goals will give you a sense of accomplishment. Plus, it helps you focus on what you have to do and avoid feeling hurt or helpless.

 

Remind yourself to be proud of your commitment to do the work. And each time you achieve something on our list, reward yourself. Then, after each one, think about setting new goals that can help you achieve more in your personal and professional life.

 

Create a Regular Routine

 

Knowing that you’ll be doing certain things at certain times is one of the best self-parenting techniques ever! Having a routine helps prepare you for what’s ahead so you can have time to adjust and react accordingly. It also teaches you responsibility, leadership, and discipline.

 

For example, one of the first things experts will advise you to do is to go to bed at a specific time each night. Not only that, but you need to create a nightly ritual to help you unwind and relax at the end of the day.

 

Start by turning off all screens 30–60 minutes before bedtime and dim the lights. You can bring an enjoyable book to read. Or you can play some soft music to ease you into sleep mode and reduce any nighttime jitters you may have.

 

Know Your Core Values

 

Adults who come from neglectful homes are often not taught morals when they were children. So, as your self-parent, it’s up to you to determine what it takes to become a helpful, empathetic member of your community.

 

You also have to learn the importance of respecting yourself and others, as well as being honest and trustworthy. And the best way to do that is by finding out what your core values are.

 

One thing you can do to appreciate the role that helping others has in your life is to volunteer at a local shelter or community center. Even a simple gesture, holding the door for someone or smiling at a stranger, can do miracles for your self-esteem.