5 Tips for Keeping Self-Sabotage at Bay

We want to be productive. In fact, you might even wake up in the morning with all kinds of enthusiasm for the projects you’re going to get done during the day. 

 

Now fast forward a few hours, and suddenly you’re dragging yourself home at nightfall wondering where the day went, feeling like you never accomplished anything at all.

 

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Most people feel this way at least sometimes. The trick is to realize that this isn’t something entirely outside of your control. Sure, things are going to happen, which derail you, but more often than not, you’re reaping the fruits of self-sabotage. You’ve derailed yourself, through your own negative self-talk.

 

How to get past this? Simple! Start with these easy tips:

 

Listen to Music

 

It’s hard to get yourself going if your mood is what’s dragging. Thankfully this is a quick fix. Put on some music you love, something fast-paced and catchy for a quick pick-me-up and watch your productivity soar.

 

Get up and Move

 

Like listening to music, putting your body in motion will build your energy levels (so long as you’re not trying to run a marathon). Dance around the room, take a brisk walk or try a few jumping jacks to get the blood flowing. Then tackle your task again, wide-awake and energized.

 

Look Inward 

 

Conversely, sometimes what you need is some quiet time. If you find your mind racing and yourself unable to concentrate on what you’re going, try meditation to slow things down. Find a quiet place, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing. Take deep breaths, nice and slow, and focus yourself on the present until you feel calm again.

 

Reassess What’s Important

 

It might be you’re not getting things done because you no longer find the value in your goal. If this seems to be the case, take some time to ask yourself some very crucial questions about why you’re on this journey. It might be you either need to shift your goal to something else entirely or, at the very least, adjust the outcome to serve your present needs.

 

Contribute

 

When all else fails, if you do not feel your work has value, offer to help someone else. Mentoring is one of those win-win situations where you bring your life skills and experience to help someone else who truly needs it. At the same time, you rediscover your passion through the act of teaching others what you know.

 

Do all this, and it’s good-bye self-sabotage, hello accomplishment. Soon you’ll be more productive than ever! 

 

4 Ways You Can Deal with Self-Doubt

Everyone experiences self-doubt from time to time. It's part of life. The important thing is that when you do experience self-doubt, you handle it in the right way. This will ensure that you can overcome it and get back on the road to success in no time at all. Keep reading to find a few ways to deal with self-doubt when negative thoughts arise. 

 

1. Resolve Not to Compare Yourself With Others

 

Often, thoughts of self-doubt come when you compare yourself to someone else. Resolve in advance not to let this happen. 

 

When it does (which it probably will at some point), remind yourself that you aren't the other person. They have a journey completely different from your own. Look at how far you've come on your journey. Your journey is yours and yours alone. 

 

2. Remember the Past is the Past

 

Many people experience self-doubt when thinking about the past. Whenever the past comes up in your mind, remind yourself that it is over and done with. If you dwell on the past, it will make self-doubt worse.

 

Look towards the future and all of the plans you have instead. It can also help to list all the things you are grateful for in the present. 

 

3. Remind Yourself that Failures are Lessons

 

Everyone will have failures at some point in their life. This is inevitable. When you experience a failure, you will likely have some thoughts of self-doubt. 

 

Don't let these get you down. Instead of focusing on the negative, resolve to focus on the positive. Run through the lessons you have learned to feel confident you won't make the same mistake again.

 

4. Have a Support System

 

There is nothing worse than experiencing self-doubts and feeling alone simultaneously. You should do everything in your power to have a support system in place when these doubts start to creep in. 

 

The support system doesn't have to be physical. It could also be a forum or an online support group. Either way, it should be someone you trust to talk to when the going gets rough. They can help remind you of what an amazing person you are and the journey you’ve embarked on to get where you are.  

 

Overall, battling self-doubt when it pops up is never easy. If you follow the four suggestions on this list, you will find yourself well equipped to deal with self-doubt when it does arise. Before you know it, you'll be back on your way to achieving your dreams as your confident and amazing self! 

 

Why Do We Struggle With Self-Care?

We all know that self-care is important to your well-being and success in life. This fact alone doesn't make it any easier to carve out more time in your life for it. Please keep reading to discover some of the reasons you may struggle with self-care so that you can be more aware as you try to work it into your routine. 

 

You Feel Shame

 

Many people don’t find the time for self-care for the simple reason that deep down; they don't believe that they deserve it. This comes from a poor self-image when an individual doesn't believe they are worth the time for proper self-care. Improving your self-image and reminding yourself that you are deserving of self-care can make it easier to schedule time in your busy life for it. 

 

You Don’t Want to Make the Effort

 

It is also an effort to set aside time out of your schedule to take care of yourself, and some people are too lazy to make this effort. Often this laziness goes back to a poor self-image or poor time management, or both, so these two aspects may need to be addressed if you find yourself not wanting to make an effort to include self-care in your life. Sometimes these people find it is easier to engage in self-care when they put it directly into their schedule. 

 

You Don’t Know What Self-Care is

 

In this day and age, it is common to hear people say "treat yourself," and it's important to distinguish that treating yourself is not self-care. Treating yourself should come as a reward after a specific activity, not a regular staple in your life. For example, "treating yourself" is an ice cream cone on a Friday night, while "self-care" is being sure you eat enough healthy fruits and vegetables. 

 

You Are Tired

 

The number one reason that people struggle with self-care is that they are tired. This is a self-perpetuating problem because, without proper self-care, you will feel increasingly tired. If this is something you struggle with, it's important to get over that first hump of self-care and get yourself some rest so that you don't feel too tired for future self-care sessions. 

 

All in all, there are several reasons you could be struggling with self-care. This article might not even list your specific reason here. Regardless, it would be best if you found out why you are struggling with self-care so that you can solve the problem. Without self-care, you will be tired and stressed for the rest of your life. 

 

Why Didn't They Tell Us Happiness Is a Choice?

A few lessons time teaches us are difficult to accept. The biggest is probably that the most important, wonderful, and influential people in our lives will sometimes be taken away from us. Older folks will tell you that you never get over the pain of losing a loved one. You try to focus on all that person's great memories and good qualities.

 

In other words, you choose to focus on good things rather than obsess over not having that person in your life anymore. You make a choice. Instead of reacting, you take a proactive approach. You act on the memory of that person positively rather than negatively.

 

Another Choice You Can Make in Life Is to Be Happy or to Be Sad Most of the Time

 

The earlier in life you can figure this out, the better. This knowledge doesn't come to everyone. You may know someone who doesn't realize that happiness is a choice. Some people live their entire lives embracing negativity and believing that the world is out to get them.

 

Let's imagine for a second that you are that type of person. 

 

Nothing good ever happens to you. If it does, it's by pure chance. Life will certainly return to its old routine of knocking you down and kicking you while you're there. Every person, thing, and experience you encounter will undoubtedly cause stress, strife, sadness, and other negative emotions.

 

Living life as this poor soul, one day, your company decides to part ways with you. You're fired. It's not that you were a particularly terrible employee. It's just that the company is downsizing, and you've got to go. This doesn't surprise you, of course. The passage of time has taught you repeatedly that you are the whipping boy of the universe.

 

Now Imagine for a Moment That, for the First Time in Your Life, You Realize You Have a Choice

 

You can view this as just another of the many mistreatments life has dealt you. Or you can look at this as a wonderful opportunity. Now you've got time to start that project you've always dreamed about. You see the silver lining in the cloud rather than just another rainy day.

 

We all have choices. Every day we're given the ability to steer our life in any direction we desire. We can accept that life is tough and there's not much sense in making an effort. Or we can now decide to take action and start doing the things that give us meaning and purpose. Don't live most of your life and discover that you can choose to be or feel anything you want. That's your choice right now. Embrace that idea and start living your best life today.

 

How To Start Meditating

Getting started with meditation is a lot easier than you may think. There isn’t any special equipment you need to buy or classes you should be taking. While buying a book, a guided meditation audio recording or an app for your smartphone are certainly options, you don’t even have to do that to get started. I’ll share everything you need to know to get started meditating right here in this post. 

 

Start by getting comfortable in a spot that’s as free of distractions as possible. You want to sit down either on a chair with your feet firmly planted on the ground, or sitting cross-legged on the floor. If you sit on the floor, you’ll be more comfortable if you sit on a cushion. It’s important that you can sit in whatever position you choose comfortably and that you’re keeping your back straight. Slumping may make you sleepy while you meditate, and bad posture may cause you discomfort after a while. 

 

Before we start with the actual meditation, let’s get back to distractions. In the beginning, you want to cut as many of them out as possible. Choose a quiet spot where no one will interrupt you. Turn off the ringer on your phone, close the blinds if you think it will help to create a calm and soothing space. You won’t always have to go through all this trouble to meditate because, after a little practice, you’ll be able to do the little meditation exercise I’m about to share with you anytime, anywhere. But like any new skill, meditating can be a little hard in the beginning. It sounds simple enough, but it’s easy to get distracted. That’s why it’s important to set yourself up for success by cutting out any distractions you can. 

 

Here’s how to meditate. Sit down, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. Notice how the air flows in and out of your nose and mouth. Try to think of nothing else. This is the hard part and something that takes practice. Start meditating for a few minutes here and there and increase the time as you move along. Don’t judge yourself when your thoughts stray. Keep bringing yourself back to the sensation of the breath anytime you notice that you’re thinking of something else. 

 

That’s all there’s to it. Getting started with meditation is simple, but like any new skill, it takes practice. Be patient with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Stick with it and keep practicing these new meditation skills. You’ll be glad you did.

 

4 Things I Learned From Overcoming Conflict

We all think differently. We all come from different walks of life. The sooner we accept it, the better everything will be. Acceptance comes first. Knowing that the other person is not necessarily wrong but that there are different perspectives in the equation will help avoid conflict. 

 

Once you figure out how to overcome conflict, remaining calm when being overwhelmed will become easier. You’ll be more aware of your surroundings, will know how to react in certain situations, and what to expect the outcome to look like. 

 

Here are 4 things I learned from overcoming conflict over the years – taking my experiences into consideration will ultimately help with making informed decisions. 

 

Communication Matters 

 

Our words often don’t mimic what we’re trying to say. During intense conversations, saying things out of anger, and impulsive statements will jeopardize relationships in the long run. Despite the thrill at the time, it is not worth it. Be rational. Be mindful of how your words can affect another person. Using the right language matters. 

 

In workplace dynamics, using exclusionary language, referring to someone as an opposing person will further impact your relationship. There’s a reason why there’s emphasis on being inclusive towards each other. Every word matters. 

 

Importance of Setting Your Ego Aside

 

There are times when you need to take a step back, reflect on your actions, and accept that arguing further out of pettiness will not help anyone. Ego always fuels our desire to be defensive and achieve a meaningless debate – it helps no one. 

 

From my experience, with a project at my workplace, there were conflicting opinions on what the right approach is. Everyone on my team came with their personal perspective on the matter, and it held a lot of weight. In such times, I learned that it is important to find a middle ground and compromise on senseless points. 

 

Talking in Person Matters 

 

It is an underrated trait but trust me, talking in person is far better than going back-and-forth on emails or text. Dealing with a professor in college, or your supervisor at work, comes with a lot of power dynamics. It is difficult to comprehend what the actual message is on either end when looking at a phone screen. 

 

We’re all hooked to our screens, but it is also important to act in an old-school way and confront someone when there’s a sense of conflict arising. 

 

Paying a visit in-person will help humanize the conversation and it is a much more immediate way to find a mutual understanding of things. When there is distance and passive aggressiveness along the way, it is difficult to fully understand what the other person is trying to say. 

 

Having Empathy for Others

 

While dealing with conflict, understanding that everyone comes with their own set of emotional baggage, and you have to deal with them accordingly is essential. Once you acknowledge the fact that everyone has different privileges and circumstances – it is easier to understand everyone’s situation. 

 

Active listening helps here. In relationships, listening to one another, fully grasping the intensity of the situation from all perspectives is vital while trying to resolve conflict. Being there for each other goes a long way – especially in situations where you’re actively trying to build a healthier relationship.

 

Conclusion

Communicate. Don’t let your ego take over you. Confront at the right time. And ultimately, have a sense of empathy for everyone around you. It’ll take you a long way, professionally, and in personal life. 

 

In most cases, conflicts happen due to unaddressed conversations, giving away the willingness to understand someone’s situation. We should all collectively do better. 

 

Beyond the Number: Practical Steps to Embrace an Age-Positive Life

We've all heard the saying, "Age is just a number." But how do we translate that sentiment into everyday life? How do we dismantle ageist stereotypes and cultivate a genuinely inclusive mindset for ourselves and those around us?

 

The good news is, it's not magic; it's action. Here are some practical steps you can take to embrace an age-positive life:

 

Challenge your own biases:

 

• Awareness is key. Take time to reflect on your own subconscious biases about aging. Do you associate youth with energy and potential while linking older age with decline and limitations? Recognize these thoughts as internalized stereotypes and actively work to challenge them.

• Flip the script. Instead of focusing on perceived limitations, consider the strengths and wisdom that come with experience. Consider older adults as mentors, resource pools, and valuable societal contributors.

 

Embrace lifelong learning:

 

• Curiosity is ageless. Never stop learning, growing, and exploring new interests. Whether taking a class, picking up a new hobby, or simply engaging in stimulating conversations, keep your mind active and receptive to new ideas.
• Become a mentor. Share your knowledge and experience with younger generations. Volunteering as a tutor, coach, or community leader can be mutually rewarding, fostering connections and breaking down age barriers.

 

Combat ageism in everyday life:

 

• Use inclusive language. Avoid ageist terms like "senior citizen" or "over the hill." Instead, use respectful and person-centered language focusing on individual identities and contributions.
• Challenge ageist assumptions. Stop making assumptions about what someone can or cannot do based on their age. It would help to treat everyone with respect and dignity, regardless of their years on the planet.
• Advocate for positive change. Speak up against age discrimination in the workplace, healthcare system, and other areas of society. Support age-inclusive policies and initiatives that promote fair treatment and opportunities for all.

 

Build bridges across generations:

 

• Seek out intergenerational connections. Spend time with people of different ages, from young children to older adults. Share stories, learn from each other, and celebrate each generation's unique perspectives.
• Organize intergenerational activities. Participate in events or programs that unite different age groups, such as community service projects, cultural celebrations, or intergenerational learning initiatives.
• Embrace family connections. Cherish relationships with grandparents, parents, children, and other family members across the age spectrum. These bonds offer invaluable support, love, and a sense of belonging, regardless of age differences.

 

Resources for your age-positive journey:

 

• Books: "Younger" by Alexandra Robbins, "Disrupt Aging" by Aubrey de Grey, "The Longevity Book" by David Sinclair
• Websites: The National Center to Reframe Aging, The Global Coalition on Aging, The MacArthur Foundation's Initiative on Successful Aging
• Organizations: AARP, Eldercare Locator, The National Council on Aging

 

Remember, embracing an age-positive mindset is a continuous journey. There will be stumbles and challenges along the way, but every step you take towards breaking down age barriers and fostering inclusion makes a difference. Let's celebrate the richness and diversity of human experience, regardless of the number on the calendar. Together, we can create a world where age is truly just a number, and everyone has the opportunity to thrive at any stage of life.