Self-Parenting 101

Self-parenting, self-love, and self-care go hand in hand. All three are there to help you make conscious decisions and allow you to take better care of yourself.

 

After doing a lot of internal work, I now have a clearer vision of why we need to practice good self-parenting. The problem is that many people feel this type of self-care is shallow or selfish. But that couldn’t be further from the truth!

 

Below are some self-parenting 101 tips and tricks that can help ensure that you always prioritize what you need to thrive and lead a fulfilling life.

 

Let’s get started.

 

What Is Self-Parenting?

 

In short, self-parenting is a type of focused care that involves healthy living patterns and positive daily habits. It puts a spotlight on the things that truly matter in your life, like sleep, nourishment, and security.

 

Yet, while those are all great ways to manage your overall health, self-parenting takes it a step further.

 

At its core, self-parenting is how you can fulfill unmet needs lingering from your childhood. It’s a way to tone down your inner critic, which is actually a culmination of voices that you’ve internalized and now believe as your own.

 

As a result, you learn how to listen more to your emotions and thoughts. You become more compassionate towards who you are as a person, and you allow yourself to feel worthy and seen.

 

It does this by providing new experiences that can lead to more satisfying behavior and a more positive effect, thus helping you create better outcomes in your life.

 

5 Self-Parenting Tips

 

In my search for ways of being a better parent to myself, I looked at some of the ways good parents care for their kids. Then, I used them to create an outline that adults can apply to themselves to enhance their inner parent.

 

Take a look.

 

Accept Your Emotions

 

Feelings help us define what’s happening so we can articulate our thoughts and act accordingly. When children have intense feelings, it can sometimes be overwhelming. If we’re not taught at a young age how to deal with those big, scary emotions, we still won’t be able to deal with them as adults.

 

This is where self-parenting can really help. Tell yourself that it’s okay to have feelings, no matter how big or small.

 

More importantly, avoid making yourself feel guilty or ashamed about feeling a certain way. Instead, learn how to make the most of these feelings to better understand what you’re going through and help yourself move forward.

 

Set Healthy Boundaries

 

When your life has clearly defined expectations, you can safely navigate and explore within those boundaries. So, make it super clear what you expect of yourself and your life.

 

Yet, we’re trained to listen to our elders and to behave properly. Then, we grow up and we fear what will happen if we assert our needs as adults. So, we put everyone’s needs before our own to avoid rejection.

 

However, with boundaries, you have the power. It may sting a bit if someone rejects you for saying no for whatever reason. But you’ll survive and you’ll come out stronger and more confident.

 

Have Reasonable Expectations

 

Write down realistic goals for the year ahead. Start with long-term goals, then break them down into monthly, weekly, and daily objectives.

 

Working down from larger to more manageable short-term goals will give you a sense of accomplishment. Plus, it helps you focus on what you have to do and avoid feeling hurt or helpless.

 

Remind yourself to be proud of your commitment to do the work. And each time you achieve something on our list, reward yourself. Then, after each one, think about setting new goals that can help you achieve more in your personal and professional life.

 

Create a Regular Routine

 

Knowing that you’ll be doing certain things at certain times is one of the best self-parenting techniques ever! Having a routine helps prepare you for what’s ahead so you can have time to adjust and react accordingly. It also teaches you responsibility, leadership, and discipline.

 

For example, one of the first things experts will advise you to do is to go to bed at a specific time each night. Not only that, but you need to create a nightly ritual to help you unwind and relax at the end of the day.

 

Start by turning off all screens 30–60 minutes before bedtime and dim the lights. You can bring an enjoyable book to read. Or you can play some soft music to ease you into sleep mode and reduce any nighttime jitters you may have.

 

Know Your Core Values

 

Adults who come from neglectful homes are often not taught morals when they were children. So, as your self-parent, it’s up to you to determine what it takes to become a helpful, empathetic member of your community.

 

You also have to learn the importance of respecting yourself and others, as well as being honest and trustworthy. And the best way to do that is by finding out what your core values are.

 

One thing you can do to appreciate the role that helping others has in your life is to volunteer at a local shelter or community center. Even a simple gesture, holding the door for someone or smiling at a stranger, can do miracles for your self-esteem.

 

How Avoidance Actually Creates More Stress

When you have an especially difficult or stressful task on your plate, it can be very tempting to avoid completing said task. Or if you don’t like to think about a subject because of an experience, it can seem easier to just not think about that topic. Both of these situations are known as avoidance, and though it may be tempting to engage in this behavior, it causes more stress than it relieves. 

 

You Won’t Stop Thinking About It

 

If you’ve ever experienced trauma, it can be tempting to avoid all thoughts of things that may remind you of the trauma you experienced. Although this may be less painful in the short run, the truth is, long term, this will stress you out more because the thoughts of your trauma will always return until you genuinely learn to deal with them rather than avoid them. The same holds for certain physical tasks. You may put them off because you don’t want to think about them, but this will only stress you out more because you will have to keep thinking about the task instead of simply completing it now.

 

You’ll Run Out Of Time

 

When you put off a task, you may momentarily relieve your stress by telling yourself you will complete the task later. But this is worse than doing the job now because later you will experience more pressure as you are faced with a fast-approaching deadline. This is especially true if you haven’t left yourself enough time to complete the task and have to rush at the last minute. 

 

Avoidance Creates Conflict

 

Maybe a coworker is waiting for you to complete your work so they can get started on theirs. And if you didn’t leave yourself enough time before the deadline, you may cause them to be late on meeting their deadline as well. This can cause a conflict between you as your coworker may be upset that you made them late. And when you experience conflict in your relationships, this only adds to your overall stress level rather than lowering it.

 

Although it can be extremely tempting to avoid certain tasks or put them off, this is a flawed approach as it will only cause you more stress in the long run. This is because avoidance doesn’t solve any problems. Instead, it just creates conflict, which leads to increased stress in the future.

 

6 Quotes to Inspire Your Morning Routine

You've probably toyed with the idea already. You've heard there are better ways to start your day and even considered how you might become more intentional in your mornings. At the same time, a morning routine can seem a challenging thing. You might not know where to begin.

 

If this is the case, take heart. Sometimes the best advice comes from people who have already mastered the skill you’re trying to learn. In this case, let’s look at what some people have to say who really know how to make the most of their day.

 

“The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.”

 

Paul Valery recognized he wouldn’t get anything done by lying around in bed all day. You need to wake up and get moving to make things happen. Embrace his attitude by rising with your alarm instead of hitting the snooze in the morning.

 

“Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.”

 

The Dalai Lama knows a great deal about having the right mindset. To create positive energy which will follow you throughout the day, start with a positive thought from the moment you wake up.

 

“An early morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.”

 

Even back in the early 1800s, Henry David Thoreau knew the value of exercise as being part of your daily routine. By making something so simple as a walk part of the first part of the day, you too can reap the benefits of early morning exercise.

 

“My future starts when I wake up every morning.”

 

Famous Jazz Musician, Miles Davis, realized the value of a fresh and positive start to every day. You can also embrace this attitude by reminding yourself from the moment you wake up just what you’re striving for and why this is important.

 

“To me, breakfast is my most important meal…It’s the fuel you use to hopefully do your best.”

 

Former NFL quarterback Andrew Luck knew he couldn't play football if he didn't first give his body something to fight with. Neither will you get through your day if you don't stop to give yourself the right food first thing in the morning.

 

"Every day, each of us sets the stage for our sentiment, confidence, and success by getting dressed. When you feel great and feel your best, it opens up a world of possibility. Feeling confident and self-assured are important inputs into good days, successful days, and happy days."

 

CEO Katrina Lake understands the importance of putting on the right clothes in the morning to set the tone for the entire day. You can't just wear any old thing if you're hunting success! (Pro Tip: Lay out your clothes the night before to add intentionality to your day.

 

5 Secrets To Self-Motivation

Why is it that motivating others is easy, but we struggle to motivate ourselves? There’s always another task that needs to be done, another deadline that needs to be met.

 

Yet, we need to learn how to take the time to show ourselves that we’re strong and hard-working. One of the secrets of self-motivation is to get our internal gears turning the right way so that we recognize our worth and value.

 

Everyone has goals they’re working towards. Yet, the degree of self-motivation we allow ourselves determines how hard we’re willing to work to achieve the desired result.

 

So, in a nutshell, with self-motivation, anything is possible. But, on the other hand, if it’s lacking in someone’s life, then life goals become of little significance.

 

To always encourage yourself to do better and be better, you need to show yourself kindness and motivation. Without them, you’ll achieve very little in life. To help you get inspired, we rounded up the five secrets to self-motivation.

 

Be Confident

 

“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” - A. A. Milne

 

Having the confidence to stand up for your beliefs and dreams is one of the most critical aspects of self-motivation. Yet, it can get difficult mustering up confidence when your brain is wired to shy away from a challenge.

 

To rewire your thoughts and build up your confidence, get a pen and paper. First, write down 3–4 of your achievements just to remind yourself of how much potential you have.

Then, make a habit of writing one thing you achieved each day. Little by little, that page will turn into two, then five, then a dozen—all the while creating a momentum that feeds on your self-confidence and assurance.

 

Track Your Progress

 

“Talk to yourself about your successes; be sure you’re recognizing your own accomplishments, no matter how small they may be.” - Rhett Power

 

Now that you’ve started writing down your daily achievements, even if it’s just watering the plants, it’s important to keep track of how far you’ve come.

 

You can use something as simple as a to-do list where you cross each task as you get each one done. Or, if you want to be more general, just cross off the whole day.

 

There are also numerous apps and software tools that help you create a personalized digital task board. This makes it easier to customize goals on a smaller scale, as well as all the way to the more time-consuming monthly and yearly goals.

 

As a result, you hold yourself accountable. Plus, you wake up each day knowing exactly what you’re supposed to do, giving your life purpose and meaning.

 

Maintain A Positive Outlook

 

“There’s a direct correlation between positive energy and positive results.” - Joe Rogan

 

Maintaining a positive mindset can go a long way in boosting your self-motivation. It’s also a great tool to have when things don’t go as planned. That’s when having that positive outlook can help you see things from a different perspective.

 

When your brain expects positive results, your choices will be geared towards the more positive. You’ll also be less likely to blame others for the unexpected things that pop up in your life.

 

To do this, you need to be aware of your negative thought patterns. Then, each time you feel some negative thoughts starting to pop up, replace them with positive ones immediately.

 

Another way to achieve this is by repeating positive affirmations in the morning to boost your motivation and confidence as you start your day.

 

Set Realistic Goals

 

“It must be borne in mind that the tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goals to reach.” - Benjamin E. Mays

 

Goals give your life a sense of direction, like a promise you make to yourself, then do your best to keep it.

 

For example, it could be something as simple as cutting back on sugar for a whole week. Or, maybe something a bit more consuming, like working out each day for a month.

 

Whether it’s work, family, or something personal, the best way to set goals is to break them up into measurable tasks. This can be monthly, weekly, daily, or even by the hour—whatever works for you.

 

Another tip is to make the goal just challenging enough to pique your interest. Yet, it shouldn’t be too complex that you give up easily.

 

Surround Yourself With Supportive People

 

“Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.” - Oprah Winfrey

 

Having positive people who help you achieve your potential is a great way to increase your self-esteem. In return, this gives your internal motivation a nice boost.

 

They’re also great for holding you accountable. They keep you pushing forward even when you don’t feel like getting out of bed.

 

The best thing is that it works both ways, which only works to strengthen your relationship. Plus, no one wants to let down that person who’s always there for them through the good days and the bad.

 

6 Tips For Working Through Your Mistakes

None of us are immune to making mistakes. Yet, those who have the skillset and confidence to learn from their mistakes are the ones who seem to do better in life.

 

By gaining knowledge and experience from our slip-ups, we boost people’s trust in our abilities. Not only that, but we become more capable of navigating life’s ups and downs with minimal stress and anxiety.

 

In this guide, I’ll discuss six tips for working through your mistakes. I’ll also talk about the psychology behind making mistakes, and how your blunders can actually help you become the best version of yourself.

 

So, let’s get started.

 

Own Your Mistakes

 

The first step in working through a mistake and learning from it is to admit to it. It’s not easy owning up to our oversights, but it’s part of the process of growth and self-discovery.

 

Also, try not to make excuses or justify your actions. I have to admit that it’s a lot easier to hide behind some lame reason or just blame someone else for what happened.

 

Let’s face it; we’re all afraid of being criticized and judged. However, when you do that, you only feel good for a short while. But then, soon after, the guilt starts to eat away at you.

 

So, while difficult to do, holding yourself accountable will be better for you in the long run. First of all, it’ll give you peace of mind. Plus, you’ll gain the respect of your peers as well as yourself.

 

Shift Your Perspective

 

Why did Thomas Edison have no problem failing all those times throughout his career? Because he didn’t see his mistakes and failures as something bad to be ashamed of.

 

Instead, he took them as an opportunity to learn. If he’d been afraid of what people might say about his repeated mistakes when he was inventing the light bulb, he wouldn’t have made history and become one of the most famous inventors of all time.

 

The same goes for hundreds of successful people. Yet, we usually don’t focus on their journey. Instead, we fast forward to the part where they became famous, forgetting that they spent days and weeks slipping up and trying to fix their errors.

 

Explore Alternative Courses of Action

 

Once you’ve trained your mind to see the good that can come from making mistakes, you’ll be better equipped to understand what went wrong.

 

You’ll also know why it happened and what you can do in the future to prevent it from happening again.

 

Yet, probably one of the most significant advantages of making mistakes is when you’re able to dig through the rubble and come up with alternative courses of action. For example, list the facts and devise other ways to handle the same situation or something similar.

 

This is a great way to take advantage of what happened and use it as a stepping stone to the next big thing in your life. As a result, you’ll find it easier to work through your mistakes and manage things more effectively.

 

Stop Dwelling on the Past

 

It’s only natural to find yourself fixated on that time you spilled coffee all over your presentation. Or when you stumbled on your way up the stairs and nearly ran into your boss.

 

Yet, dwelling on the past and overthinking are two of the biggest barriers to working through your mistakes.

 

Not only that, but they have a negative effect on your self-esteem. As a result, you become more anxious and apprehensive and have trouble moving on.

 

When you feel like your negative self-talk is taking over, you have to make a conscious effort to stop it before it gains momentum. Show yourself the same kindness and empathy you’d show to a friend.

 

The best way to do that is to make peace with your mistakes. Tell yourself that life moves on.

 

You can’t change what happened. So, the best way to get over something like that is to use it to avoid making the same mistake in the future.

 

Create a Plan of Action

 

The next logical step is to develop a plan of action. This is where you create a vivid mental image of what you should and shouldn’t do differently to get better results.

 

To start, gather as much information as you can and analyze it. Then, finally, put your plan into motion.

 

One of the best ways to ensure your plan is successful is to rely on new resources or skills. So, why not join a class or pick up a hobby? It’ll get you involved in new experiences while exposing yourself to new skill sets that you can use for self-improvement.

 

Make New Mistakes

 

No matter how old you are or what position you hold in your workplace, you will make mistakes. They’re a natural part of growing as an individual.

 

The only thing you can do is to make the most of your mistake and use it as a learning tool. This way, you’ll minimize their impact on your mental and emotional health, and you’ll be able to pick up the pieces much more efficiently.

 

So, the next time you find yourself slipping up, try taking a solution-oriented approach rather than dwell on the actual mistake. This positive way of dealing with things will allow you to think a few steps ahead to focus more on the solution rather than the problem.

 

5 Ways To Be A Socially Responsible Person

According to the dictionary, being a socially responsible person means ‘working or operating in ways that aren’t harmful to society or the environment.’ In other words, when you acknowledge your responsibility for your choices and be accountable for your actions, you’re socially responsible.

 

You may not feel you’re not making a powerful impact like Bill Gates or Warren Buffet can by donating millions of dollars. However, you still have the power to contribute in your own way.

 

An excellent place to start would be to start reducing your footprint. Remember, our planet needs all of us to put in the effort. So, no matter how minor you may think your role is, you’re still making a world of difference!

 

To help get you started, scroll down for five ways you can be a socially responsible person.

 

1. Stay Informed

 

Always stay up to date on the events taking place around you, both locally and globally. This way, you gain a better perspective on what environmental issues need immediate fixing and what you can do about them.

 

Many times, we get sucked into the vortex of our hectic lives, and we lose sight of the big picture. By knowing all current and relevant information, you’ll start seeing the big picture. Thus, your actions will be geared towards things that can actually help benefit the environment.

 

2. Get Active

 

Everybody talks a good talk, but few ever do anything about it. So, why not be the change you want to see in this world and start participating in your community?

 

Getting out there and doing something is a great way to actively take part in helping out the environment. How about volunteering at various events to get better acquainted with your neighbours and community members?

 

Another idea is to attend community meetings and brainstorm ways to reduce pollutants. The more you participate, the more you’ll discover there are plenty of great ideas and opinions that can go into improving your community.

 

3. Show Empathy

 

Those suffering from a food or water shortage problem can be all the way across the globe. But that doesn’t mean you’re not affected by it, even on a small scale.

 

This is why showing empathy and being sensitive towards other people’s dilemmas are two of the best ways you can be socially responsible. It shows that you recognize other people’s pain and suffering. At the same time, it motivates you to build productive habits and reduce your use of some of the things that played a part in creating these problems in the first place.

 

4. Be a Responsible Consumer

 

Before you buy anything, find out where it’s made. Then, take a look at the company’s practice with regard to the environment, as well as their staff.

 

Another idea is to buy sustainably. This means buying products made of natural fibres that easily biodegrade and return to the ground as organic matter.

 

On the other hand, synthetic fibres may look fashionable. But they’re not biodegradable, which means they remain in the environment for hundreds of years, increasing pollution levels as well as greenhouse gases.

 

Also, try to buy locally as much as you can. It’ll go a long way in supporting businesses in your area while boosting the economy in your community. It also cuts back on shipping expenses. So, you save money while saving the environment from an excess of delivery trucks going back and forth.

 

5. Make Smart Decisions

 

Making smart decisions on a day-to-day basis means building good habits. For example, one way to reduce your water consumption is to turn the water off while brushing your teeth or shaving.

 

Reuse and recycle plastic products as much as possible to reduce the amount of waste. Also, take along a canvas shopping bag when buying groceries. You’ll reduce your plastic consumption and look super cool doing it!