If You Want More Meaningful Relationships, Schedule Them

Do you have a day planner? Do you have a calendar or schedule where you plan out your activities? A lot of people plan their careers. They have a virtual or physical planner where they keep track of their work commitments. They take their job seriously and know that if they schedule their professional life, they can be more successful than if they take it as it comes.

 

Unfortunately, many people don't do that with their personal lives.

 

That's too bad. We've known for a long time that the human brain loves to be given marching orders. It was designed to respond favorably to order and habitual behavior. If you want deeper connections, you should schedule the experiences that build and maintain them.

 

Who Do You Want a More Meaningful Relationship With?

 

It's been proven that deep relationships make you less likely to develop disease or become sick. Your mind, body, and emotions benefit. The more people you truly understand on a deep level and connect with in a meaningful way, the happier and healthier you will be.

 

This means that when you connect with someone in a big way, you get a significant boost to your well-being. Who wouldn't like that in their lives? To experience all these wonderful benefits of a healthy social life, ask yourself who you can connect with on a deeper level.

 

Once you have that person in mind, sit down and ask yourself some questions. What do they like to do? What values are important to them? Do they like traveling or knitting, or reading? What vices do they have that they wish they could defeat? What are their big goals?

 

If you don't know the answers to these questions, or at least have some general idea of their response, what can you do to discover those answers? In many cases, it doesn't make sense to come out and ask big questions like this. You can spend more time with that person in experiences and activities they enjoy. This helps you indirectly learn that information.

 

Schedule time for those activities. Talk a lot, and listen. Remember your ultimate goal, to get to know the person better. Be flexible and understand that a deep connection might mean a relationship with someone that's unlike you in many ways. Opposites often attract. 

 

Keep these things in mind and schedule the time and emotional energy required to develop a deep and meaningful relationship. Offer a time and environment that's comfortable to them, be yourself, and do this regularly to form a strong, healthy connection.

 

3 Reasons and 3 Ways to be Present

The greatest minds on the subject will tell you we don't fully understand what existence is. For regular people, there's the idea of a past, a present, and a future. We understand we're living right now, and that's pretty much what we can wrap our minds around. We see our life playing out before us. We have senses we use to experience the world.

 

We're in the present now and have memories of a past existence. We have hopes and plans for our future. For most of us, that's what we know about life.

 

Deep thinkers tell us that all we have is the present moment. When you think about it, that makes sense. Your past is gone. There's no control over it. You really don't have any control over your future either. All you have is right now. As it turns out, embracing your present reality has a lot of benefits. Here are three reasons why you should spend more time in the present moment and three simple ways you can do just that.

 

3 Benefits of Embracing the Moment

 

1. Better Relationships and Improved Social Skills

 

Focusing on right now opens your eyes. You see the people in your life with more clarity. This includes those that you barely interact with, as well as the people you see frequently. That leads to better social skills and healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

 

2. Less Stress and Anxiety

 

This is the go-to benefit lifelong mindfulness practitioners talk about. There is much less stress when you worry less about tomorrow, next week, and next month and appreciate the present. 

 

3. Greater Self-Love and Self-Esteem

 

Being mindful of your present state of being leads to self-awareness. You find you have so much more to appreciate about who you are right now and fewer expectations of your future self.

 

3 Simple Ways To Live in the Present Moment

 

1. Breathe Deeply

 

Take a few deep breaths and focus on them. Breathe in and out and appreciate your present moment. Do this for a couple of minutes whenever you need to calm your racing mind. This is a stress-relieving aspect of mindfulness, meditation, yoga, and other practices for living in the now.

 

2. Practice Daily Gratitude

 

Look around you. What do you have to be grateful for? Your truest blessings are here right now. Practice gratitude each day for the good things in your life. This teaches you to appreciate the present moment instead of spending all your time wishing for something better in the future.

 

3. Forgive Yourself and Others

 

Forgiving is about letting go of the past. You remove future expectations as well. This is key to experiencing all you can in the present moment.

 

Those are just a few reasons why being present is so important. You also have three proven ways to focus more on right now and less on the past and future. Give yourself the gift of being present today so that your tomorrow can be more fulfilling.

 

The Science Of Happiness: Strategies For A Joyful Life

Life can get messy and unpredictable sometimes and some things are just out of our control. The way we react to certain triggers and situations and how we show up in life determine how joyful or miserable our lives can turn out to be. It takes intentional action to make life joyful and live a happy life. 

 

As the famous quote goes, “It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you react to it that matters.” - Epictetus

 

Below are some strategies for living a joyful life: 

 

Find and Prioritize Your Purpose

 

If you want to live a joyful and fulfilled life, finding a purpose is key. Some people may find purpose in their work and job, but you can also find it outside of paid work, such as doing something for the good of the community or society.

 

Look inward and think about something that you feel passionate about, that gives back to the world, that can bring in some income, and that you are good at. This is most likely to be your calling. When you find and prioritize your purpose, you have something to look forward to and wake up to every morning. It gives you a sense of purpose and joy when you fulfill your purpose, leading to a happy and satisfied life. 

 

Nurture Relationships

 

When we look at the centenarians from the Blue Zones, we see that they highly prioritize and nurture their social relationships with friends and family. They live a simple life where one of their focuses is to build and nurture supportive relationships. 

 

Even at 90 years old, these people are seen to be fit, healthy, and happy free of any chronic diseases due to their lifestyle and familial support. Therefore, it is important to learn a lesson from the people of the Blue Zones that nurturing healthy relationship has a positive impact on living a happy life. We all need support in our lives, a shoulder to cry on, and like-minded friends to share the joys of life with. 

 

Let Go of Things that No Longer Serve Us

 

Life is full of different phases and each phase requires a different and more evolved version of you. To live a joyful life, learn to let go of things, people, situations, and memories that no longer serve you, and be clear on who and what deserves to move forward into the next season of your life. 

 

This can help you let go and embrace release, leading to a happier life. To live more joyfully, learn to let go of perfectionism and how you think life ‘should be’ or what ‘could have been.’ Embrace the present moment fully and declutter your life of habits, negative mindsets, toxic relationships, and feelings of regret, guilt, or shame from the past. Learn to let go of any emotional baggage that may deter you from living a joyful life. 

 

Be Kind and Compassionate to Yourself

 

Self-care is an integral part of living a happier life. This can simply mean being kind and compassionate to yourself by not talking negatively to or about yourself. It could also mean practicing self-care like taking time out of work to rest and wind down instead of overworking yourself, focusing on improving your mental and emotional well-being, taking care of your body, and whatever else you may prefer as self-care. 

 

To be happier, you should ditch the negative self-talk, rewire, and reframe your mindset to be more kind to yourself, and see how your life shifts from misery to joy. 

 

Joy can look different to every person. What you perceive as joy may not be the same version for someone else. Some may find joy in nurturing relationships while others may prefer some ‘me time’ with themselves in solitude. 

 

It is important to discover your version of joy to live a happier life. Lastly, remember to fill your cup first so that you can pour it into others. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so find your purpose, do activities that enrich your life, let go easily, lean on others, and laugh more to live a joyful life. 

 

Finding Balance: Juggling Work, Life, And Self-Care

The more technology we have, the easier life is supposed to be – but somehow, the world just gets faster-paced and everything feels much more frantic than it did before. You're trying to kill it in your career while looking after friendships, romance, and maybe even children, but what about self-care? It feels like you're constantly juggling and if you take your eye off any of the balls for even a second, one drops to the ground. 

 

Your career demands your attention. 

 

Your family and friends need you just as much as you need them. 

 

And what about self-care? 

 

Believe it or not, you can have them all if you simply find the right balance… and you can find the tips you need to do that below. 

 

Boundaries and Priorities 

 

Step one in your journey to finding balance is establishing boundaries based on your priorities. That might mean you need to sit down and establish your priorities if you haven't already. That means understanding your core values and getting to grips with what matters most in your personal and professional life. 

 

Once that's settled, you can establish boundaries that will protect your energy and time. Just be ready to communicate your boundaries clearly and be firm when saying no. 

 

Think about your boundaries around technology, too – do you pick up emails even when you're off the clock? Do you feel the need to reply to every message instantly? Think about your relationship with the internet and social media. 

 

Organization and Time Management

 

Organization and time management work in tandem and once you crack this code, you will find it much easier to find balance. Use a calendar or diary, utilize to-do lists, and structure your day to break down your responsibilities and when you will tackle each. 

 

By breaking down every task into manageable moments, you avoid the risk of multitasking, reduce stress, improve productivity, and give yourself time for everything. 

 

Delegate

 

Something that many people struggle with is letting go of control. Let's be clear about this – you can delegate! At work and at home, you can assign appropriate tasks and responsibilities to family members and employees or colleagues. The key to finding balance is sharing the load, so learn to let go. 

 

Take Breaks Intentionally 

 

Part of finding balance and practicing self-care is taking regular breaks, which means you might need to schedule them when you sit down with your calendar and to-do list. So, schedule a take-five, go for a brief walk, sit down for a quiet meditation session, or just chill out with a glass of water or hot tea. A break should not be viewed as a luxury, it's a necessity to improve productivity and performance. 

 

Say No 

 

There's no point in establishing boundaries if you don't learn to say no! 

 

You should be able to say no to things that don't fit or feel right without feeling guilty about it. Everyone has limits, and if saying yes means pushing yourself beyond yours, you need to say no. Whether it's coffee with a friend on your busiest day of the calendar month or picking up an extra project at work when things are hectic at home. There will be times you can say yes to those things, but if you can't say yes now, don't!

 

Lean On Your Support

 

Everyone needs human connections and having a strong support system when you're dealing with life's obstacles and challenges is key. So, be sure that you are surrounded by people who respect you, understand your goals, and build you up. These people should be willing to go 50/50 in sharing responsibilities and happy to pick up the slack from time to time when it's necessary. 

 

Final Thoughts 

 

It might feel like an impossible task, but with a bit of intention, you can strike a balance between work, life, and self-care. It might be difficult at the start, but once you establish your boundaries and learn to stick to them, the rest will come with time and practice. When you do find the balance, you will start to see everything in your life improve. 

Detox Your Mind: The Importance Of Letting Go Of Negative Thoughts

You might believe that negative thoughts only impact your mental space. However, the truth is that negative thoughts have the capability to invade every area of life. Here, we look at three major areas affected by negative thoughts, including mental health, physical health, and social health.

 

Mental Health

 

Negative thoughts don’t feel good. We all know that. Beyond just making us feel miserable in the moment, though, there are long-term mental health consequences of allowing negative thoughts into our mind. Some of the potential diagnoses that could arise from repeated negativity include:

 

• Major Depressive Disorder

 

• Generalized Anxiety Disorder

 

• Social Anxiety Disorder

 

• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

 

• Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

 

• Psychosis

 

Even if the mental health concerns don’t advance to an official diagnosis, you could still experience a number of mental health symptoms due to frequent negative thoughts. Some of these include:

 

• Depression

 

• Anxiety

 

• Panic attacks

 

• Low self-esteem

 

• Perfectionism

 

Physical Health

 

The mind has a lot more power over the body than most people realize. The way you think impacts how healthy your physical body is. Some examples are:

 

• Increased risk of diagnoses such as asthma, cardiovascular disease, and high blood pressure

 

• Decreased immune system strength

 

• Healthier weight

 

• Healthier blood sugar levels

 

You’ve certainly heard the phrase “mind over matter” at some point in your life. This refers to using the mind to control the body’s physical reactions to external stimuli. You can apply this principal to positive versus negative thinking. When you allow negative thoughts, your physical condition worsens in general.

 

Social Health

 

Negative thoughts can destroy any type of relationship. When you have excessive negative thoughts, you tend to ignore positive experiences and characteristics of others. This can also lead to you believing things about the other person that simply aren’t true or making up devastating scenarios in your head. You’ll also find that you’re more sensitive to jokes and other comments in conversation with others. This negativity not only damages your trust and connection with the other person but it also causes you to treat others negatively as well. Some examples of social relationships that could be affected include:

 

• Romantic partners

 

• Friends

 

• Family members

 

• Coworkers and/or supervisors

 

• Neighbors

 

• Teammates and hobby club members

 

• Classmates

 

How to Let Go of Negative Thinking

 

The first step in overcoming negative thoughts is a desire to change your thought patterns. You have to be committed. It will be tough at times but, with the right motivation, you can make it through. Try these tips for overcoming negative thoughts:

 

• Journal daily and write out your negative thoughts and emotions. Turning them into a physical form prevents them from lingering in your mind.

 

• Designate a time of day to review negative thoughts. Write down your thoughts when they occur outside this 10-15 minute time frame. This lets you move on quickly throughout your day and process later.

 

• Replace negative thoughts with positive ones when they occur. For example, instead of beating yourself up for being late, be thankful that your friend is willing to be flexible.

 

• Consciously dedicate energy toward receiving and giving love and positivity.

 

• Take care of your physical health. Again, the mind-body connection is a powerful force. Take care of one and the other will improve.

 

• Use positive affirmations for yourself and others. For example, give yourself praise for even the smallest victories.

 

• Practice gratitude for the relationships, possessions, and achievements that you have.

 

• Avoid upsetting media consumption. Incorporate humor and heartwarming media into your daily life.

 

• Dedicate your negative energy toward something productive when the thoughts occur.

 

• Practice daily meditation, such as mindfulness and loving-kindness meditation.

 

Source Links

 

https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2016/05/09/13-coaches-explain-how-to-overcome-negative-thought-patterns/?sh=147fd31b35cb

 

https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2015/08/positive-emotions-your-health

 

https://www.news-medical.net/health/How-Do-Your-Emotions-Affect-Your-Physical-Health.aspx

 

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2020/01/negativity-can-ruin-relationships/604597/

 

https://www.verywellmind.com/negative-self-talk-and-how-it-affects-us-4161304

 

4 Things I Learned From Overcoming Conflict

We all think differently. We all come from different walks of life. The sooner we accept it, the better everything will be. Acceptance comes first. Knowing that the other person is not necessarily wrong but that there are different perspectives in the equation will help avoid conflict. 

 

Once you figure out how to overcome conflict, remaining calm when being overwhelmed will become easier. You’ll be more aware of your surroundings, will know how to react in certain situations, and what to expect the outcome to look like. 

 

Here are 4 things I learned from overcoming conflict over the years – taking my experiences into consideration will ultimately help with making informed decisions. 

 

Communication Matters 

 

Our words often don’t mimic what we’re trying to say. During intense conversations, saying things out of anger, and impulsive statements will jeopardize relationships in the long run. Despite the thrill at the time, it is not worth it. Be rational. Be mindful of how your words can affect another person. Using the right language matters. 

 

In workplace dynamics, using exclusionary language, referring to someone as an opposing person will further impact your relationship. There’s a reason why there’s emphasis on being inclusive towards each other. Every word matters. 

 

Importance of Setting Your Ego Aside

 

There are times when you need to take a step back, reflect on your actions, and accept that arguing further out of pettiness will not help anyone. Ego always fuels our desire to be defensive and achieve a meaningless debate – it helps no one. 

 

From my experience, with a project at my workplace, there were conflicting opinions on what the right approach is. Everyone on my team came with their personal perspective on the matter, and it held a lot of weight. In such times, I learned that it is important to find a middle ground and compromise on senseless points. 

 

Talking in Person Matters 

 

It is an underrated trait but trust me, talking in person is far better than going back-and-forth on emails or text. Dealing with a professor in college, or your supervisor at work, comes with a lot of power dynamics. It is difficult to comprehend what the actual message is on either end when looking at a phone screen. 

 

We’re all hooked to our screens, but it is also important to act in an old-school way and confront someone when there’s a sense of conflict arising. 

 

Paying a visit in-person will help humanize the conversation and it is a much more immediate way to find a mutual understanding of things. When there is distance and passive aggressiveness along the way, it is difficult to fully understand what the other person is trying to say. 

 

Having Empathy for Others

 

While dealing with conflict, understanding that everyone comes with their own set of emotional baggage, and you have to deal with them accordingly is essential. Once you acknowledge the fact that everyone has different privileges and circumstances – it is easier to understand everyone’s situation. 

 

Active listening helps here. In relationships, listening to one another, fully grasping the intensity of the situation from all perspectives is vital while trying to resolve conflict. Being there for each other goes a long way – especially in situations where you’re actively trying to build a healthier relationship.

 

Conclusion

Communicate. Don’t let your ego take over you. Confront at the right time. And ultimately, have a sense of empathy for everyone around you. It’ll take you a long way, professionally, and in personal life. 

 

In most cases, conflicts happen due to unaddressed conversations, giving away the willingness to understand someone’s situation. We should all collectively do better. 

 

7 Good Morning Questions That Create Happiness

Voltaire says, “Judge someone by their questions, rather than by their answers.”

 

In other words, the right kind of questions are those that expand your thinking. They make you reflect on how to be better and do better. They can also help determine the quality of your day.

 

A good question can be especially helpful in the morning when you’re trying to get ready for work or school.

 

So, why not try to add some liveliness and vigor to your mornings with a few motivational questions?

 

Starting your day out with purpose and a sense of gratitude has been proven to be one of the most effective ways to live a happy, fulfilling life.

 

Asking the right questions in the morning has the power to put you in a good mood for the whole day. As a result, having a positive mindset allows you to focus more, retain more information, and get more done.

 

Here are seven good morning questions to create happiness and start your day with focus and energy. Try them out and see which ones work best for you.

 

What is the most important thing I can do today for my well-being?

 

There’s a reason why they tell you to put on your oxygen mask first. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of others. So, take the time to figure out what you can do to serve your own well-being.

 

Remember, every day is a new chance to change and improve the life you’re living. Work hard to reach your goals and achieve the things you believe in. Take small steps, and before you know it, you’ll get closer and closer to your goals.

 

What am I excited about accomplishing today?

 

Visualize your schedule for the day, starting from when you walk out of the door, reach your workplace, then come back home. What tasks do you need to accomplish? Do you have any deadlines for today? Meetings?

 

Try to picture everything in detail but put more focus on the positive aspects of your day. By giving yourself something to look forward to, you’ll be better equipped to handle the complex or tedious tasks of the day.

 

How can I encourage others, and myself, today?

 

To accomplish anything meaningful in life, you need to dream big and believe in those dreams. The more you believe, the farther you’ll get.

 

Yet, sometimes, we need a small push to get us going. This is when spreading around some reassuring words of encouragement and motivation. Be courageous in your thinking, yet also maintain your sense of optimism and cheerfulness. In other words, have your head in the clouds and your feet firmly planted in the ground.

 

Don’t forget to spread your eagerness and zeal to everyone around you.

 

What am I grateful for?

 

Socrates said, “Contentment is natural wealth, luxury is artificial poverty.”

 

Don’t waste your life fixating on what you don’t have rather than what you already have. If you do, you’ll never have enough.

 

The best thing you can do is appreciate the goodness that’s already yours, and you’ll have plenty to be grateful for. When you appreciate the people and things in your life, you’ll discover that you have a lot to live for.

 

How can I show my love to those I care about?

 

Relationships with friends, family, and life partners only work when the two sides decide to make a conscious effort to put in the work. They can be small acts of love and appreciation, just to tell one another that you’re there and that you care.

 

But these small acts go a long way in, especially when they come from the heart because it’s not so much what you do as it is how you do it. So, understand what matters most to those you care about. Then, spend a few minutes showing them in their own love language.

 

Can I take a break?

 

This question can be taken to mean two things: can I take a break for the entire day? Or can I take a break during the day?

 

If you find that you keep asking yourself the first question every morning, it could be your body’s way of telling you need to schedule time for yourself. Try to set aside no less than 15 minutes each day for some self-care.

 

On the other hand, if you’re asking yourself ‘Can I take a break during the day?’ that alone can unlock those feel-good hormones and happy emotions.

 

Even if your schedule is packed for the day, knowing that you have a break coming up will give you something to look forward to.

 

What would I like to remember about today?

 

Every day is special because it’s a chance to live your truth and take action toward meaningful goals. Yet, many times we take our days for granted without embracing the gift we’re giving with each sunrise.

 

So, ask yourself this: what can you do today that’s worth remembering?