Forgiveness As Liberation: The Art Of Letting Go Of Resentment

Everyone has experienced conflict and hurt from other’s words or conduct. Suppose a co-worker got credit for your work, or you were bullied as a child. Incidents such as these leave you feeling resentful, bitter, and angry long-term if not resolved. Unresolved resentment can have a significant impact on your health.

 

“There is an enormous physical burden to being hurt and disappointed,” says Karen Swartz, M.D., director of the Mood Disorders Adult Consultation Clinic, Johns Hopkins Hospital. Chronic resentment can affect blood pressure, heart rate, and immune response, raising the risk of heart disease, depression, and other conditions.

 

On a positive note, forgiveness helps to calm your stress level, resulting in better physical and mental health.

 

Why Do We Feel Resentment?

 

When someone hurts us, we may feel a range of negative emotions such as sadness, hostility, or even hatred. When we don’t let go and forgive, we are consumed with those pessimistic feelings, affecting our self-esteem and well-being. If you are suffering from chronic resentment, you can learn to be forgiving; forgiving is a choice.

 

What is Forgiveness?

 

Psychologists commonly define forgiveness as “A conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.” 

 

Bear in mind that you can forgive without denying or forgetting the wrongdoing against you. You are not required to mend a bad relationship or release others from legal liability. 

 

How to Forgive

 

Choose Forgiveness

 

First, you need to decide whether you choose to forgive. While you don't have to forgive, it is to your benefit to do so. Research by the Annals of Behavioral Medicine shows that increased forgiveness decreases perceived stress and improves mental and physical health.

 

Leverage the Power of Positive Thinking

The effect of negative thinking and feelings is unhappiness. In order to heal, be consciously aware when you’re burdened with pessimistic thoughts. Use positive self-talk to replace the distressing thoughts. For example, you may want to retaliate against the person who hurt you. Remind yourself that you will be fair with that person and that you will not mirror their harmful actions.

 

Change Your Perspective

Think about the other person to understand their actions better. Was the person hurt by others or mistreated? Is the person going through a difficult time? That person may be in pain, struggling with chronic resentment, affecting their behavior with others. Look at the person with a compassionate perspective to gain insight. You don’t need to excuse the person, but you can forgive and move forward.

 

Acknowledge and Accept Your Pain

Recognize the hurt you’re feeling; don’t avoid it. Explore the emotions you’re experiencing and accept the pain. Psychology Today reports “Pain is actually a necessary part of happiness, and research shows that it can lead to pleasure in several ways.” For example, pain helps you recognize happiness; otherwise, you wouldn’t recognize it as happiness. Also, relief from pain is pleasurable and increases your happiness.

 

Conclusion

When someone hurts us, we may have a difficult time letting go of the feelings of resentment. Chronic resentment harms our well-being in many ways. On the other hand, forgiveness frees us from negative emotions, calms our stress levels, and brings us peace of mind. While we don’t have to deny or forget the offense against us, letting go of resentment and practicing forgiveness is liberating and necessary for optimal wellness.

"I think the first step is to understand that forgiveness does not exonerate the perpetrator. Forgiveness liberates the victim. It's a gift you give yourself." - T.D. Jakes

 

References

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/forgiveness-your-health-depends-on-it

 

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/forgiveness/definition#what-is-forgiveness

 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5055412/

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201511/5-reasons-you-have-accept-pain-if-you-want-be-happy#:~:text=But%20pain%20is%20actually%20a,t%20recognize%20it%20as%20happiness

Detox Your Mind: The Importance Of Letting Go Of Negative Thoughts

You might believe that negative thoughts only impact your mental space. However, the truth is that negative thoughts have the capability to invade every area of life. Here, we look at three major areas affected by negative thoughts, including mental health, physical health, and social health.

 

Mental Health

 

Negative thoughts don’t feel good. We all know that. Beyond just making us feel miserable in the moment, though, there are long-term mental health consequences of allowing negative thoughts into our mind. Some of the potential diagnoses that could arise from repeated negativity include:

 

• Major Depressive Disorder

 

• Generalized Anxiety Disorder

 

• Social Anxiety Disorder

 

• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

 

• Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

 

• Psychosis

 

Even if the mental health concerns don’t advance to an official diagnosis, you could still experience a number of mental health symptoms due to frequent negative thoughts. Some of these include:

 

• Depression

 

• Anxiety

 

• Panic attacks

 

• Low self-esteem

 

• Perfectionism

 

Physical Health

 

The mind has a lot more power over the body than most people realize. The way you think impacts how healthy your physical body is. Some examples are:

 

• Increased risk of diagnoses such as asthma, cardiovascular disease, and high blood pressure

 

• Decreased immune system strength

 

• Healthier weight

 

• Healthier blood sugar levels

 

You’ve certainly heard the phrase “mind over matter” at some point in your life. This refers to using the mind to control the body’s physical reactions to external stimuli. You can apply this principal to positive versus negative thinking. When you allow negative thoughts, your physical condition worsens in general.

 

Social Health

 

Negative thoughts can destroy any type of relationship. When you have excessive negative thoughts, you tend to ignore positive experiences and characteristics of others. This can also lead to you believing things about the other person that simply aren’t true or making up devastating scenarios in your head. You’ll also find that you’re more sensitive to jokes and other comments in conversation with others. This negativity not only damages your trust and connection with the other person but it also causes you to treat others negatively as well. Some examples of social relationships that could be affected include:

 

• Romantic partners

 

• Friends

 

• Family members

 

• Coworkers and/or supervisors

 

• Neighbors

 

• Teammates and hobby club members

 

• Classmates

 

How to Let Go of Negative Thinking

 

The first step in overcoming negative thoughts is a desire to change your thought patterns. You have to be committed. It will be tough at times but, with the right motivation, you can make it through. Try these tips for overcoming negative thoughts:

 

• Journal daily and write out your negative thoughts and emotions. Turning them into a physical form prevents them from lingering in your mind.

 

• Designate a time of day to review negative thoughts. Write down your thoughts when they occur outside this 10-15 minute time frame. This lets you move on quickly throughout your day and process later.

 

• Replace negative thoughts with positive ones when they occur. For example, instead of beating yourself up for being late, be thankful that your friend is willing to be flexible.

 

• Consciously dedicate energy toward receiving and giving love and positivity.

 

• Take care of your physical health. Again, the mind-body connection is a powerful force. Take care of one and the other will improve.

 

• Use positive affirmations for yourself and others. For example, give yourself praise for even the smallest victories.

 

• Practice gratitude for the relationships, possessions, and achievements that you have.

 

• Avoid upsetting media consumption. Incorporate humor and heartwarming media into your daily life.

 

• Dedicate your negative energy toward something productive when the thoughts occur.

 

• Practice daily meditation, such as mindfulness and loving-kindness meditation.

 

Source Links

 

https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2016/05/09/13-coaches-explain-how-to-overcome-negative-thought-patterns/?sh=147fd31b35cb

 

https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2015/08/positive-emotions-your-health

 

https://www.news-medical.net/health/How-Do-Your-Emotions-Affect-Your-Physical-Health.aspx

 

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2020/01/negativity-can-ruin-relationships/604597/

 

https://www.verywellmind.com/negative-self-talk-and-how-it-affects-us-4161304

 

Age is Just a Number: Shattering Stereotypes and Embracing Life's Full Potential

There's a phrase whispered like a mantra throughout our lives: "Age is just a number." But how often do we genuinely internalize its meaning? We watch time march on, counting birthdays like milestones on a dusty road, often associating them with limitations and decline.

 

But what if age, that seemingly linear progression, is instead a mosaic? A vibrant collage of experiences, wisdom, and potential, far richer and more dynamic than a single number can represent.

 

In truth, the statistics paint a compelling picture. Forget the image of the forgetful grandparent struggling with technology. Consider Johannes Mallow, the 48-year-old world memory champion, or the countless older adults mastering new languages with impressive fluency. Studies even show our brains retain their remarkable plasticity, the ability to adapt and form new connections, throughout our lifespan.

 

Our physical ability, too, can defy expectations. Marathon legends like Fauja Singh, who tackled the London Marathon at 100, are testaments to the human spirit's enduring strength. And Ernestine Shepherd, who became the world's oldest competitive bodybuilder at 86, proves that physical peak performance can blossom even in life's later chapters.

 

The world of innovation and achievement follows suit. While we often glorify youthful entrepreneurship, the average age of successful startup founders sits closer to 40 than 25. Experience, it seems, trumps youthful energy when building high-impact companies. And let's not forget the late Bloomers, individuals who find their creative voice or professional calling later in life. Helen Frankenthaler, who redefined abstract expressionism at 50, is a powerful example.

 

Even happiness, that elusive butterfly, seems to take flight with age. A study in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences revealed that people over 85 reported higher levels of life satisfaction than their younger counterparts. Perhaps wisdom's gentle hand helps us understand what truly matters and appreciate the richness of each passing moment.

 

But these statistics are merely stepping stones to embracing the "Age is Just a Number" philosophy. It's about dismantling the ageist narratives that infiltrate our society, from hiring practices based on arbitrary dates to the limiting expectations we place on ourselves and others.

 

It's about recognizing that a 25-year-old can be a seasoned artist, a 60-year-old can still be an agile athlete, and an 80-year-old a tech-savvy entrepreneur. It's about understanding that potential knows no age, and limitations are often self-imposed.

 

So, how do we genuinely internalize this transformative message? It starts with a shift in perspective. Let's view age as a spectrum, not a rigid ladder. Let's celebrate the wisdom gained with each passing year while nurturing the curiosity and spirit of adventure within us all. Let's champion lifelong learning, embrace new challenges, and redefine what it means to "age gracefully."

 

Most importantly, let's replace the tired figure of decline with the vibrant narrative of continuous growth, boundless potential, and a life that explodes in color and possibility, regardless of the number on the calendar.

 

Because, my friends, age is just a number. It's time we started living like it.

 

3 Ways to Make Sure You Get All the Sleep Your Brain Needs to Stay Healthy

It seems like insomnia is a modern epidemic. Whether you deal with insomnia or you are chronically sleep-deprived, it’s likely that poor sleep is affecting your performance.

 

Sleep deprivation feels terrible. You will have noticed that if you’ve had a bad night’s sleep, you feel sluggish, heavy, and slow, as though you’re trying to walk through syrup. You’re clumsy and confused, you drop things, and nothing seems to go right.

 

As well as making you feel bad, a chronic lack of sleep can have physical effects on your brain. Sleep deprivation impairs your ability to process and store memories and can even increase your risk of Alzheimer’s disease. Two proteins associated with Alzheimer's, beta amyloid, and the tau protein, increase with chronic poor sleep. There is some evidence in laboratory tests on mice that sleep helps to clear these proteins from the brain. 

 

The good news is that there are things you can do to improve your sleep health to keep your brain in tip-top shape.

 

1. Find Out Your Own Best Sleep Levels

 

Everyone has their own individual sleep needs. Famously, British politicians Winston Churchill and Margaret Thatcher needed very little sleep, but only getting four or five hours a night is not recommended for most people. Whether you need seven hours or ten, find out what is enough sleep for you. 

 

Enough sleep means waking up without needing an alarm, feeling rested and energetic, and not needing coffee to get you through the day. 

 

2. Improve your Sleep Hygiene

 

Studies have shown that the hour or two before bedtime has a powerful effect on the quality of your sleep. Schedule in some proper downtime, and stop using blue light-emitting devices like smartphones, computers, tablets, and television an hour or so before you plan to go to bed. Read a book, take a relaxing bath, or listen to calming music—or all three—instead. 

 

3. Don’t Lie There Trying to Sleep

 

If you can’t sleep after ten minutes, get out of bed and do something else. Lying in bed, getting stressed because you can’t sleep is a recipe for poor sleep and insomnia. You’re also likely to start brooding, mulling over problems or running over the events of the day. 

 

Get up do something relaxing like reading or meditating until you feel sleepy. It’s okay to do this more than once, even multiple times. You’re trying to train your brain to think of bed as a sleeping place, not a thinking place. 

 

Improving your sleep will help you to feel calmer, be more productive, and may lower your risk of Alzheimer’s later in life. 

 

Getting Enough Sleep Can Change Your Life

If you regularly skimp on sleep, or maybe don't sleep well, it may be time to change your sleeping habits. 

 

Getting a good night's sleep is important because the amount and quality of sleep you get can profoundly affect your life. And you may not realize just how much getting enough sleep could change your life.

 

The Health Consequences Of Not Enough Sleep

 

It may not seem like getting enough sleep is a big deal. After all, who cares if you are a little bit tired at work? Well, according to Amita Health, not getting enough sleep can cause considerable damages to your health. Not getting enough sleep has been tied to an increased risk of heart disease, obesity, stroke, and diabetes—all of which are dangerous conditions. And it isn't just your physical health that suffers—because your mental health can suffer too. Not getting enough sleep can make you more prone to conditions such as depression and anxiety, both of which can negatively affect your life.

 

Your Relationships Will Improve

 

Now that you know the problem with not getting enough sleep, you're probably wondering how sleep can change your life. One of the ways getting enough sleep will benefit you is that you will have better relationships with others. When you are constantly tired and short on sleep, this can lead to you being short-tempered with those around you. This short-temperateness can lead to problems in both romantic relationships and friendships. When you start getting enough sleep, those around you will probably notice your mood shift and be much more willing to spend time with you!

 

Your Career Will Advance

 

Besides just improving your health and relationships, getting enough sleep can help you further your career. This is because career success goes hand in hand with building relationships. It's hard to build relationships at work if you are grumpy or constantly tired. Also, when you are tired, you won't work as efficiently. Once you are getting enough sleep, you will have better work relationships and get things done faster—the combination of which will change your career—for the better. 

 

Overall, it can be difficult to prioritize sleep, but it needs to be done. When you get enough sleep every night, you improve your health, relationships, career, and ultimately your life! So, stop skimping out on sleep and make it your priority today!