Baggage Be Gone: How To Let Go Of Emotional Weight

Per Sabrina Romanoff, a clinical psychologist, in an article published in Very Well Mind, emotional baggage “...refers to unfinished emotional issues, stressors, pain, and difficulties we’ve experienced that continue to take up space in our minds and affect our present relationships”

 

In other words, the psychological wounds we carry prevent us from living peacefully. Worse, emotional baggage can lead to ongoing stress and depression, and even begin to create physical issues. It’s not uncommon for people with lots of emotional baggage to experience panic attacks, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, and insomnia. 

 

Though we all carry some sort of emotional baggage throughout our lives, the happiest people are those who learn to control their emotional baggage instead of allowing it to control them. Of course, this is easier said than done. 

 

However, we have some helpful tips on how to let go of the emotional weight so you can start living freely. 

 

Identify What Caused It

 

Think of addressing your emotional baggage like mold remediation. Though your goal is to treat the mold, you first have to identify what caused it because it doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. The same concept applies to this. 

 

If you carry guilt or commitment issues - two very common types of emotional weight - then it’s not enough to just accept what happened or just jump into a relationship to prove you’re okay. Doing so may lead to temporary satisfaction, but nothing sustainable. Instead, you need to figure out why these feelings exist. Like the mold, you have to get down to the real cause and treat that before you can address anything else. 

 

For example, the root cause of commitment issues could be anything from fear of rejection or abandonment that stems from childhood or having experienced abuse in a previous relationship. By identifying the root cause, you can then address its symptoms.

 

Seek Therapy 

 

If you’re dealing with an emotional weight that’s beginning to get too heavy to carry, then one way you can start to let go is by letting someone else help you with the load. One way to do this is by seeking the guidance and support of a licensed therapist.

 

In therapy, you can address your past and how it’s currently infringing on your life. Furthermore, you’ll get a chance to address what you don’t like about the baggage, which can help motivate you to unpack it. 

 

Though therapy has become a little more expensive in recent years, there are affordable options through apps like BetterHelp. Many therapists also work on a sliding scale or even on a pro bono basis, so don’t be afraid to ask about those options. 

 

Learn to Sit With Uncomfortable Emotions

 

One of the main reasons why we tend to hold onto emotional baggage is because we don’t take the time to process it. 

 

Though everyone has their coping mechanisms, it’s never healthy to avoid your emotions or try pushing them under the rug. Even if you do that - and think things are okay for a little while - they will eventually pop up again the next time you encounter a similar emotion or situation. 

 

A good example would be grief. If you don’t take the time to feel sad and angry, you may not be equipped to take care of yourself or be a strong support system for others when they, too, eventually encounter loss. 

 

It’s going to be uncomfortable but sit with your sadness when you start feeling sad. Cry when you feel like crying. Scream when you feel angry. Starting out, and to make this easier, you can even set a timer so you’re only dealing with these negative emotions within a window you feel comfortable with. 

 

When you do this, you take the power back from these emotions, so they no longer control you. With enough practice and time, you’ll be able to encounter a sad moment instead of allowing the emotional weight of a trigger to ruin your entire day. 

 

These are just a few of the best ways you can begin to let go of emotional baggage. While we all have emotional weight, you don’t have to let it rule over you. There’s a grace in allowing yourself to be human and remember that what words or actions hurt you in the past don’t have to be your identifiers forever. 

 

4 Things I Learned From Overcoming Conflict

We all think differently. We all come from different walks of life. The sooner we accept it, the better everything will be. Acceptance comes first. Knowing that the other person is not necessarily wrong but that there are different perspectives in the equation will help avoid conflict. 

 

Once you figure out how to overcome conflict, remaining calm when being overwhelmed will become easier. You’ll be more aware of your surroundings, will know how to react in certain situations, and what to expect the outcome to look like. 

 

Here are 4 things I learned from overcoming conflict over the years – taking my experiences into consideration will ultimately help with making informed decisions. 

 

Communication Matters 

 

Our words often don’t mimic what we’re trying to say. During intense conversations, saying things out of anger, and impulsive statements will jeopardize relationships in the long run. Despite the thrill at the time, it is not worth it. Be rational. Be mindful of how your words can affect another person. Using the right language matters. 

 

In workplace dynamics, using exclusionary language, referring to someone as an opposing person will further impact your relationship. There’s a reason why there’s emphasis on being inclusive towards each other. Every word matters. 

 

Importance of Setting Your Ego Aside

 

There are times when you need to take a step back, reflect on your actions, and accept that arguing further out of pettiness will not help anyone. Ego always fuels our desire to be defensive and achieve a meaningless debate – it helps no one. 

 

From my experience, with a project at my workplace, there were conflicting opinions on what the right approach is. Everyone on my team came with their personal perspective on the matter, and it held a lot of weight. In such times, I learned that it is important to find a middle ground and compromise on senseless points. 

 

Talking in Person Matters 

 

It is an underrated trait but trust me, talking in person is far better than going back-and-forth on emails or text. Dealing with a professor in college, or your supervisor at work, comes with a lot of power dynamics. It is difficult to comprehend what the actual message is on either end when looking at a phone screen. 

 

We’re all hooked to our screens, but it is also important to act in an old-school way and confront someone when there’s a sense of conflict arising. 

 

Paying a visit in-person will help humanize the conversation and it is a much more immediate way to find a mutual understanding of things. When there is distance and passive aggressiveness along the way, it is difficult to fully understand what the other person is trying to say. 

 

Having Empathy for Others

 

While dealing with conflict, understanding that everyone comes with their own set of emotional baggage, and you have to deal with them accordingly is essential. Once you acknowledge the fact that everyone has different privileges and circumstances – it is easier to understand everyone’s situation. 

 

Active listening helps here. In relationships, listening to one another, fully grasping the intensity of the situation from all perspectives is vital while trying to resolve conflict. Being there for each other goes a long way – especially in situations where you’re actively trying to build a healthier relationship.

 

Conclusion

Communicate. Don’t let your ego take over you. Confront at the right time. And ultimately, have a sense of empathy for everyone around you. It’ll take you a long way, professionally, and in personal life. 

 

In most cases, conflicts happen due to unaddressed conversations, giving away the willingness to understand someone’s situation. We should all collectively do better. 

 

8 Methods To Boost Your Problem-Solving Skills

Problem is defined by the dictionary as “a matter or situation regarded as unwelcome or harmful and needing to be dealt with and overcome.”

 

“Problem solving is the process of achieving a goal by overcoming obstacles, a frequent part of most activities. Problems in need of solutions range from simple personal tasks to complex issues in business and technical fields.” (Wikipedia)

 

Why You Need Problem Solving Skills

 

1. For one, when you ignore your problems, they tend to get worse.
2. The life skill of problem solving gives you some level of control over your life, in the present and even in the future.
3. Whether in personal dilemmas or professional quandaries, the right approach can turn obstacles into opportunities. 
4. Problem solving helps build resilience.
5. Lastly, it’s a vital skill that helps you deal with life on life’s terms.

 

This article offers eight key methods to enhance your problem-solving acumen, ensuring you tackle issues with clarity, creativity, and confidence. Dive in to master the art of addressing challenges head-on.

 

Defining the Problem with Clarity 

 

Understanding the problem is the foundational step in any problem-solving process. To address any issue effectively, one must first ensure they grasp its entirety. 

 

This involves more than just identifying the problem's existence; it means delving deep to understand its root cause, the people it impacts, and the circumstances under which it arises. 

By dissecting the problem into more digestible parts, the process becomes less overwhelming and paves the way for a more lucid solution-finding journey.

 

The Power of Brainstorming 

 

Once the problem is laid out clearly, the next step is to gather a plethora of potential solutions. This phase should emphasize open-mindedness and creativity, allowing for a wide range of ideas, from the conventional to the out-of-the-box. 

 

The essence of brainstorming is diversity. Including individuals from different backgrounds or fields can infuse the process with varied viewpoints and enrich the pool of solutions.

 

Creative Problem Solving

 

Harvard Business School describes another approach to problem solving that while less structured offers valuable opportunities and one that is ideal for situations where the root cause has not yet been identified or defined.

 

The tools of creative problem solving include:

 

• Brainstorming
• Divergent thinking exercises: This involves coming up with a variety of solutions, each unique and each offering possible alternatives. 

 

Visualization

 

Seeing the Problem In many scenarios, visual aids can be incredibly potent tools in the problem-solving arsenal. When dealing with complex issues, writing them down on flowcharts, diagrams, or mind maps can give you insights into their complexities. 

 

Such visual representations can demystify complexities, showcase how different elements interrelate, and pinpoint areas that might require special attention.

 

Evaluating and Prioritizing Solutions 

 

With a list of possible solutions in hand, the next logical step is to sift through them. This involves a meticulous examination of each idea based on various parameters such as feasibility, potential impact, and resources needed. 

 

An objective assessment can also uncover possible risks and upsides tied to each solution. This methodical analysis is crucial in zeroing in on the most viable solutions while sidestepping potential hazards.

 

Tackling Complex Problems Piece by Piece 

 

One common pitfall in problem-solving is becoming paralyzed by the sheer magnitude of an issue. The antidote to this is segmentation. 

 

By deconstructing a colossal problem into bite-sized tasks, it becomes less daunting. This approach not only prevents feelings of being overwhelmed but also instills a progressive sense of achievement with each completed task.

 

The Value of Collaboration and Feedback 

 

Solving problems in isolation can often be limiting. By bringing in a fresh set of eyes, be it peers, mentors, or domain experts, new perspectives can be added to the mix. 

 

Additionally, Engaging in discussions can unearth insights that one might have missed, highlight unforeseen challenges, or suggest alternative paths. This collaborative spirit can amplify creativity and drive towards a more holistic solution.

 

Embracing Mistakes as Learning Opportunities 

 

When it comes to problem-solving, perfection is a myth. It's natural to encounter roadblocks or realize that a chosen solution doesn't yield the desired results. Instead of viewing these as failures, they should be perceived as invaluable lessons. 

 

By introspecting on what didn't work, refining strategies, and persisting in the face of setbacks, one not only finds better solutions but also strengthens their problem-solving aptitude and resilience.

 

Conclusion 

 

Problem-solving is a vital skill in both personal and professional life. By consistently practicing and refining these methods, you'll be better equipped to tackle challenges head-on and come up with effective solutions. 

 

Whether it's a minor hiccup or a significant hurdle, developing strong problem-solving skills will serve you well in any situation.

 

How To Make Criticism Work For You

It may seem counter-intuitive, but sometimes a critique can be the most impactful thing someone can offer you. It all comes down to what you decide to do with it. If you’d like to discover how to make criticism work for you, rather than derail you, read on.

 

Create Distance

 

When someone says something critical about you, you have some choices to make. Of these choices, one of the most significant is whether or not you choose to be offended. 

 

The stoic philosopher Epictetus said this on the subject, “If someone in the street were entrusted with your body, you would be furious. Yet you entrust your mind to anyone around who happens to insult you and allow it to be troubled and confused. Aren't you ashamed of that?”^[1]

 

In other words, don’t fall into the trap of allowing the opinions of others to control your emotions and take charge of your mind. By recognizing that someone’s thoughts about you only have the significance you afford them, you can decide how you will feel, and you see the foolishness of letting other people’s words control you. 

 

This recognition creates distance between what is said and your sense of self-worth, a powerful tool to assist you in navigating snares of modern life such as the attention economy and cancel culture.

 

Let Life Be Your Teacher

 

Choosing to learn from each experience you have is profoundly empowering. You don’t have to agree with people or even think they’re intelligent. The important thing is that you can garner lessons from everything you encounter in life.

 

When someone criticizes you, it’s a great opportunity. Since you’ve already chosen to create distance and not allow words to offend you, you now have the chance to scan over what was said and see if there’s anything useful there. You’re ready to learn and grow if possible, transforming the encounter from a trial to a win.

 

Embrace The Process

 

Sometimes a little humility goes a long way. When we acknowledge that we’re all works in progress, it doesn’t hurt so much to encounter criticism. Instead of feeling embarrassed or belittled, you can figure out how the observation might pave the way for improvement. After all, a lack of growth often leads to stagnation, so we should embrace the process, relishing opportunities to break the mold and move forward.

 

Criticism Can Cultivate Creativity

 

Sometimes hearing what is wrong with something you’ve done can pave the way for innovation. For example, when someone presents you with issues in a proposal you present, or holes in a story you’ve written, it can reveal new ideas that were previously obscured from your view. This expanded vision is a part of how collaboration works, making more minds better than one.

 

According to Harvard Business Review, there’s a sweet spot in criticism that recognizes the flaws in something without throwing the baby out with the bathwater. They refer to this process as “yes, but, and.” In this scenario, the “yes, but” portion presents the issue with a presented idea, while the “and” portion presents potential solutions.^[2]

 

By approaching a discussion this way, the critique becomes an invaluable method for creating novel solutions without disregarding a person’s initial concept. As with many encounters, showing regard for other people’s feelings and perspectives while giving constructive criticism makes for more thorough communication and better outcomes.

 

Final Thoughts

 

It isn’t all bad to be criticized, even when the critic has questionable intentions. When we choose to analyze a person’s words, scan them for utility, and refuse to take them personally, we will always learn from the encounter. The freedom from releasing the perception of insult paves the way for vast personal improvement while removing potential suffering.

 

The benefits of criticism are amplified when it is used constructively amongst respectful individuals. In this ideal scenario, you will be encouraged to elevate your ideas and hone your skills, while being free from personal attack. Thus, being amongst good company is another potent way to make criticism work for you.

 

References

 

1. Salomon, Albert, editor. The Enchiridion. Translated by Thomas Wentworth Higginson, Bobbs-Merrill, 1955. 
2. “Why Criticism Is Good for Creativity.” Harvard Business Review, 16 July 2019, https://hbr.org/2019/07/why-criticism-is-good-for-creativity.

 

Cultivating a Balanced Mindset

In the pursuit of achieving balance, we often get caught up in the external world - creating to-do lists, scheduling commitments, and striving for efficiency. However, a crucial element often overlooked is cultivating a balanced mindset.

 

Shifting Your Perspective

 

Instead of viewing life as a constant struggle for balance, adopt the perspective that balance is an internal state. It's not about achieving external perfection but finding peace and acceptance within yourself. This shift in perspective allows you to approach life's challenges with greater resilience and navigate the inevitable ups and downs without feeling overwhelmed.

 

Practicing Mindfulness

 

Mindfulness practices like meditation and deep breathing can be powerful tools for cultivating a balanced mind. These practices help you focus on the present moment and become aware of your thoughts and emotions without judgment. By training your mind to be present and accepting, you can better manage stress, reduce anxiety, and approach life's challenges with greater clarity and calmness.

 

Gratitude as a Source of Strength

 

Gratitude is another powerful tool for cultivating a balanced mindset. It allows you to shift your focus from what you lack to what you already have, fostering a sense of contentment and appreciation for the good things in life. Taking time to reflect on what you're grateful for, big or small, can significantly improve your well-being and overall outlook.

 

Self-Compassion is Key

 

Finding balance requires compassion for yourself, especially on days when you feel overwhelmed or unable to adhere to your ideal schedule. Instead of self-criticism, practice self-acceptance and understanding. Acknowledge your limitations and forgive yourself for setbacks. Remember, everyone struggles with achieving balance at times, and it's not about attaining perfection but about making progress and learning from your experiences.

 

Cultivating a balanced mindset is a journey, not a destination. By incorporating mindfulness practices, fostering gratitude, and practicing self-compassion, you can create a foundation for inner peace and navigate the ebbs and flows of life with greater ease and resilience. This, in turn, will contribute to a more balanced and fulfilling life, even when faced with external demands and challenges.

 

Achieving Balance in a Demanding World

Finding balance in life can feel impossible in today's fast-paced, demanding world. Juggling work, relationships, personal well-being, and countless other responsibilities can be overwhelming and leave us struggling to manage. But achieving balance isn't about maintaining a perfectly equal distribution of time and energy across every aspect of our lives. It's about consciously prioritizing and managing our resources to create a fulfilling and sustainable life.

 

Prioritize Your Values

 

The first step towards achieving balance lies in identifying your core values. What truly matters to you in life? Is it family time, professional success, creative expression, or physical health? Once you understand your values, you can start prioritizing activities that align with them. This might involve setting boundaries at work to ensure quality time with loved ones, delegating tasks to free up time for personal pursuits, or scheduling regular exercise sessions for a healthy mind and body.

 

Embrace Flexibility and Adaptability

 

Life is rarely predictable, and unexpected events can throw our meticulously planned schedules into disarray. The key is to be flexible and adaptable. Instead of rigidly clinging to a fixed schedule, embrace the flow of life and learn to adjust your plans as needed. This might involve saying no to additional commitments when your plate is full, delegating tasks when faced with unexpected deadlines, or simply taking time to recharge when needed.

 

The Power of "No"

 

Learning to say "no" is crucial for achieving balance. It empowers you to control your time and energy, preventing them from being drained by commitments that don't align with your values. While saying "no" can initially feel uncomfortable, it helps you focus on what truly matters and avoid burnout.

 

Finding Joy in the Journey

 

Finding balance isn't just about managing responsibilities; it's also about embracing moments of joy and fulfillment. Make time for pleasurable activities, for example, spending time in nature, pursuing a hobby or simply connecting with loved ones. These moments of joy are a source of energy and renewal, making navigating the inevitable challenges life throws us easier.

 

Remember, finding balance is a continuous journey, not a one-time destination. Be patient with yourself, celebrate your progress, and don't be afraid to adjust your approach as needed. You can create a balanced, fulfilling life by prioritizing your values, embracing flexibility, harnessing the power of "no," and prioritizing moments of joy.

 

5 Creative Ways to Build Better Focus

Building better focus cannot be found in a step-by-step guide. It is a process, one that is filled with starts, stops, leveling up, and many missteps along the way. In fact, improving your focus might just be one of the most challenging things you can try to do in the Twenty-First Century. We have limitless distractions, stress from home and work, and information flying at us 24/7.

 

Below you will find a list of creative ways to work on improving your focus. But what you must remember throughout all the steps is to take inventory consistently. Notice your mental state, what is distracting you, and why is it distracting you. Taking the time to stop and take stock will give you feedback on what is and isn’t working for you, as well as how you are improving along the way.

 

Consider Your Attention

 

Throughout the day, stop and consider how much attention you are paying to the task at hand. Are you fully focused? Or are you only half working on a project while the other half of your brain thinks about lunch?

 

Consider Your Mood

 

Consider your mood throughout the day and why it may be that way. This should be paired with your attention to what you are doing. Are you anxious while you only half-think about the project? Are you annoyed and typing an email? 

 

Write Down Your Distractions & Look at Them

 

Every time you catch yourself being pulled away from the task at hand, write down the distraction and what you were doing, then get back to work. At the end of the day, look back on what distracted you and when. You may be able to pinpoint weak points in your day and find ways to remedy those distractions.

 

Stop and Breath

 

Ever feel like you’re being pulled in ten different directions? Are the distractions flooding at you becoming overwhelming? Stop and breathe. Clear your mind for a few moments, write it all down, and make a plan. While you may not be able to solve all the problems, at least you can do your best to work through each one with a clear mind.

 

Visualize

 

You can use visualization at any time to clear your mind and focus on one thing. This will allow you to push away distractions and build your mind’s ability to concentrate for a lengthened time. You can visualize colors, images, anything that you focus your mind on.

 

Building better focus is not a race. It is a journey that takes time and patience. Consider incorporating creative, focus building exercises into your daily routine.

 

6 Ways to Make a Positive Impact on Someone’s Life

How do you change a life? You start by making a positive impact on them. Whether you're looking to mentor someone in their career, teach a friend a new skill, or look for another way to offer guidance to someone else, the outcome you desire is always the same. You want them to succeed. 

 

Are you ready to be the teacher they need? 

 

Let's explore some ways to make a positive impact on someone else’s life through teaching:

 

Figure Out the Relationship You Want to Have

 

First, what kind of relationship are you looking to have? Do you want to be a teacher in a classroom? Do you want to come alongside a friend and help them out once in a while? Do you want to be a formal mentor, possibly in a business setting? Your choice will dictate your next steps. For example, if you wish to teach in the classroom, you might want to ask yourself what skills you have to teach. Perhaps you might want to offer a night class at a Community College. Or you might want to set up a webinar from your home to guide students through some new skills.

 

Define the Goal

 

Once you've established your setting and gained a student or a set of students, you need to create a clear objective. What is the purpose of this teaching relationship? What do you want the other person to get out of it? What do they want to get out of it? 

 

Go All In

 

Don't go into this unless you're truly willing to invest in the individual. Become more interested in helping them succeed as a person than marking their achievements off some list. 

 

Know When to Stop

 

You'll find the best outcomes in giving guidance to others when you know what they truly need. To find this out, you might need to lay aside your agenda and listen to them for a while. Their initial problems might not be what they need to solve. It could be there’s something deeper going on. When you allow the other person room to talk, they will often come around to what's really bothering them if you give them enough time. 

 

Drop Assumptions

 

Don't think you know everything, especially about the person you're mentoring. Rather than assuming anything, take the time to ask them about themselves. Discover what they want out of this relationship.

 

Be Vulnerable

 

You've made mistakes too. Be willing to share your catastrophes. There's a lot of lessons to be learned from other people's mistakes. Your experiences are a valuable tool when it comes to teaching others. 

 

In the end, the best way to make a positive impact on someone's life is to be open and honest in your desire to help and in how you treat the other person. Honesty is crucial to the mentoring relationship.

 

The Art of Cultivating Connection: Building Rapport in Professional Settings

Building rapport in professional settings goes beyond polite small talk. It's about forging genuine connections that foster trust, collaboration, and success. Whether negotiating with a client, leading a team, or navigating office politics, mastering the art of rapport can unlock unexpected doors.

 

Active Listening is the Cornerstone of Connection

 

Effective communication starts with genuinely listening. Forget multitasking or waiting for your turn to speak. Give your undivided attention, maintaining eye contact and nodding to show engagement. Ask clarifying questions and paraphrase critical points to demonstrate understanding. This builds trust, reveals hidden insights, and strengthens your grasp of the situation.

 

Seek Common Ground

 

Finding shared interests or experiences fosters a sense of familiarity and comfort. Notice subtle cues – a sports jersey, a travel mug with a city you recognize – and use them to spark conversation. Share relevant personal anecdotes to bridge the gap and show yourself as relatable. Remember, it's not about forcing connections but about genuine curiosity and finding that spark of commonality.

 

Empathy is the Key to Unlocking Understanding

 

Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Consider their perspective, acknowledge their feelings, and offer support where needed. Show genuine interest in their thoughts and aspirations. A simple phrase like "I understand how you feel" or "That must be challenging" can go a long way. Demonstrating empathy creates a safe space for open communication and strengthens your bond.

 

Nonverbal Cues - The Unspoken Language of Rapport

 

Positive body language speaks volumes. Maintain an open posture, lean in during conversations, and offer genuine smiles. Mirror the other person's mannerisms subtly to establish harmony. Be mindful of your facial expressions and avoid anything that might convey boredom or frustration. Nonverbal cues can build bridges or create walls, so be conscious of your message.

 

Authenticity is the Foundation of Lasting Rapport

 

Building genuine connections requires being your true self. Avoid pretending to be someone you're not or forcing conversations about topics you don't find interesting. Embrace your unique strengths and perspectives, and allow them to shine through. People are drawn to genuine individuals, and building rapport on a foundation of authenticity creates lasting relationships.

 

Remember, building rapport is a continuous process, not a one-time event. Consistently practicing these skills will establish trust and approachability, helping you succeed professionally.