5 Tips for Keeping Self-Sabotage at Bay

We want to be productive. In fact, you might even wake up in the morning with all kinds of enthusiasm for the projects you’re going to get done during the day. 

 

Now fast forward a few hours, and suddenly you’re dragging yourself home at nightfall wondering where the day went, feeling like you never accomplished anything at all.

 

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Most people feel this way at least sometimes. The trick is to realize that this isn’t something entirely outside of your control. Sure, things are going to happen, which derail you, but more often than not, you’re reaping the fruits of self-sabotage. You’ve derailed yourself, through your own negative self-talk.

 

How to get past this? Simple! Start with these easy tips:

 

Listen to Music

 

It’s hard to get yourself going if your mood is what’s dragging. Thankfully this is a quick fix. Put on some music you love, something fast-paced and catchy for a quick pick-me-up and watch your productivity soar.

 

Get up and Move

 

Like listening to music, putting your body in motion will build your energy levels (so long as you’re not trying to run a marathon). Dance around the room, take a brisk walk or try a few jumping jacks to get the blood flowing. Then tackle your task again, wide-awake and energized.

 

Look Inward 

 

Conversely, sometimes what you need is some quiet time. If you find your mind racing and yourself unable to concentrate on what you’re going, try meditation to slow things down. Find a quiet place, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing. Take deep breaths, nice and slow, and focus yourself on the present until you feel calm again.

 

Reassess What’s Important

 

It might be you’re not getting things done because you no longer find the value in your goal. If this seems to be the case, take some time to ask yourself some very crucial questions about why you’re on this journey. It might be you either need to shift your goal to something else entirely or, at the very least, adjust the outcome to serve your present needs.

 

Contribute

 

When all else fails, if you do not feel your work has value, offer to help someone else. Mentoring is one of those win-win situations where you bring your life skills and experience to help someone else who truly needs it. At the same time, you rediscover your passion through the act of teaching others what you know.

 

Do all this, and it’s good-bye self-sabotage, hello accomplishment. Soon you’ll be more productive than ever! 

 

4 Ways You Can Deal with Self-Doubt

Everyone experiences self-doubt from time to time. It's part of life. The important thing is that when you do experience self-doubt, you handle it in the right way. This will ensure that you can overcome it and get back on the road to success in no time at all. Keep reading to find a few ways to deal with self-doubt when negative thoughts arise. 

 

1. Resolve Not to Compare Yourself With Others

 

Often, thoughts of self-doubt come when you compare yourself to someone else. Resolve in advance not to let this happen. 

 

When it does (which it probably will at some point), remind yourself that you aren't the other person. They have a journey completely different from your own. Look at how far you've come on your journey. Your journey is yours and yours alone. 

 

2. Remember the Past is the Past

 

Many people experience self-doubt when thinking about the past. Whenever the past comes up in your mind, remind yourself that it is over and done with. If you dwell on the past, it will make self-doubt worse.

 

Look towards the future and all of the plans you have instead. It can also help to list all the things you are grateful for in the present. 

 

3. Remind Yourself that Failures are Lessons

 

Everyone will have failures at some point in their life. This is inevitable. When you experience a failure, you will likely have some thoughts of self-doubt. 

 

Don't let these get you down. Instead of focusing on the negative, resolve to focus on the positive. Run through the lessons you have learned to feel confident you won't make the same mistake again.

 

4. Have a Support System

 

There is nothing worse than experiencing self-doubts and feeling alone simultaneously. You should do everything in your power to have a support system in place when these doubts start to creep in. 

 

The support system doesn't have to be physical. It could also be a forum or an online support group. Either way, it should be someone you trust to talk to when the going gets rough. They can help remind you of what an amazing person you are and the journey you’ve embarked on to get where you are.  

 

Overall, battling self-doubt when it pops up is never easy. If you follow the four suggestions on this list, you will find yourself well equipped to deal with self-doubt when it does arise. Before you know it, you'll be back on your way to achieving your dreams as your confident and amazing self! 

 

Biohacking: The Simple Way to Reach Your Goals

There is a new buzzword floating around social media that by now you may have heard of; biohacking. But what the heck is it? Biohacking is a systematic approach to reaching optimum health. It is implementing small changes or hacks to improve areas of your life. According to Dave Asprey, the founder of bulletproof coffee, it is making changes in your life to becoming superhuman. 

 

Most biohackers strive to be the best version of themselves. Any areas of your life can be hacked whether it be physical, emotional, social, spiritual and intellectual. The journey of biohacking is up to you and where you see the need to change. 

 

The following is a must when starting your biohacking journey: 

 

Assess 

 

What areas of your life would you like to improve? Maybe you simply need to fix your sleeping schedule. Perhaps you have a lot of stress that you would like to reduce or eliminate. Whatever it may be there are hacks that you can do to help improve those areas. Some common areas that biohackers target include improving happiness, productivity, diet, athletic endurance and mental performance. 

 

Implement 

 

Now that you have assessed yourself and know what areas of your life you would like to improve on, it is time to implement hacks to reach those goals. It can be as simple as tracking your daily exercise or taking an anti-anxiety pill. Whatever the hack may be it’s important to start doing them right away and track your progress as you go along. 

 

Document and Evaluate

 

Although implementation is the key to biohacking the other area of importance include tracking your results and evaluating them. This way you can be sure that the hack you implemented is accomplishing the goal you had in mind. Maybe the hack will improve other areas of your life that you were not aware of. Take a just a few moments out of your day each night to record any little thing you have noticed throughout your journey. At the end of each month create some kind of challenge such as a test to see if the hack you implemented has truly made an impact. For example, maybe you wanted to increase your stamina. Before you implement the hack test your stamina and then in a month do the same test to see if you’ve improved. 

 

Adjust

 

Once you evaluate your results it is time to determine if the hack you implemented provides the results you were hoping for. If not, adjust the hack or implement a brand new one. If you received benefits from the hack determine if it is worth continuing or not. Obviously, if the hack didn’t produce the results you were hoping for it may not be worth continuing. 

 

Repeat 

 

If there are more areas in your life that you want to improve to reach the goals that you have set for yourself add more. If what you are doing is working keep doing it. Once you have mastered the hacks that you implemented you may even want to take it one step further. The choices are truly endless.  

 

Biohacking is a never-ending journey. It is not a fast-track system to optimal health or the perfect life. It is a cumulation of lifestyle changes that take work and dedication. Implement, evaluate, adjust and then repeat until you reach all your goals. You can truly accomplish whatever it is that you want to with biohacking.

 

Why Didn't They Tell Us Happiness Is a Choice?

A few lessons time teaches us are difficult to accept. The biggest is probably that the most important, wonderful, and influential people in our lives will sometimes be taken away from us. Older folks will tell you that you never get over the pain of losing a loved one. You try to focus on all that person's great memories and good qualities.

 

In other words, you choose to focus on good things rather than obsess over not having that person in your life anymore. You make a choice. Instead of reacting, you take a proactive approach. You act on the memory of that person positively rather than negatively.

 

Another Choice You Can Make in Life Is to Be Happy or to Be Sad Most of the Time

 

The earlier in life you can figure this out, the better. This knowledge doesn't come to everyone. You may know someone who doesn't realize that happiness is a choice. Some people live their entire lives embracing negativity and believing that the world is out to get them.

 

Let's imagine for a second that you are that type of person. 

 

Nothing good ever happens to you. If it does, it's by pure chance. Life will certainly return to its old routine of knocking you down and kicking you while you're there. Every person, thing, and experience you encounter will undoubtedly cause stress, strife, sadness, and other negative emotions.

 

Living life as this poor soul, one day, your company decides to part ways with you. You're fired. It's not that you were a particularly terrible employee. It's just that the company is downsizing, and you've got to go. This doesn't surprise you, of course. The passage of time has taught you repeatedly that you are the whipping boy of the universe.

 

Now Imagine for a Moment That, for the First Time in Your Life, You Realize You Have a Choice

 

You can view this as just another of the many mistreatments life has dealt you. Or you can look at this as a wonderful opportunity. Now you've got time to start that project you've always dreamed about. You see the silver lining in the cloud rather than just another rainy day.

 

We all have choices. Every day we're given the ability to steer our life in any direction we desire. We can accept that life is tough and there's not much sense in making an effort. Or we can now decide to take action and start doing the things that give us meaning and purpose. Don't live most of your life and discover that you can choose to be or feel anything you want. That's your choice right now. Embrace that idea and start living your best life today.

 

7 Secrets to Reclaiming Confidence that Successful People Know

Winston Churchill once said, “Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” 

 

The problem is, enthusiasm can be hard to come by, especially when yours has taken a beating. Setbacks and disappointments have a way of knocking it down. We start doubting ourselves and lose sight of who we really are. Without confidence, it becomes impossible to try, guaranteeing failure. 

 

Thankfully, we know one thing for certain: confidence can be reclaimed, as every successful person knows. Read on to discover 7 things successful people know about reclaiming confidence.

 

They Remind Themselves They Can Do It

 

Successful people recognize failure is normal. Getting there won’t be without bumps. The important thing when trying to regain confidence is to realize success is still a possibility…or even a probability. This is where you remind yourself of your goal and visualize success all over again.

 

They Walk Away

 

There comes a time where a break is the best thing you can give yourself. Confidence wavers when you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Doing a hobby you love, or even just taking a walk, or spending time with friends, does a lot toward regaining a positive mindset when you’re feeling frustrated.

 

They Revisit the Past

 

Where have you succeeded before? Where have you failed? Everything that’s come before is a teaching moment. What do you know about yourself already from these events? Understanding the “you of yesterday” is where your insights today come from. Confidence comes from using this knowledge well. 

 

They Forgive

 

Hating yourself for some mistake you made isn’t going to get you anywhere and only destroys your confidence. Being able to let go and forgive the past is crucial to future success.

 

They Keep a Handle on What They’re Saying

 

Self-talk can be particularly destructive to confidence. How do you talk to yourself? Are you patient and understanding, or do you tend toward negativity? Grabbing hold of those mental put-downs will preserve self-confidence. Using more positive statements will build it up.

 

They Start Over

 

The only sure way to fail is to do the same thing, in exactly the same way, when you’ve already failed the first time. Rather than force failure onto yourself and eradicate confidence, revamp the strategy. Ask yourself how you can do things differently this time.

 

They Keep Trying

 

Persistence pays off. If you fail and stop, you’ll always think of yourself as a failure. It’s the person who gets up and tries again who builds confidence as they go. 

 

In the end, the only way to reclaim your confidence is to put intentional work into recovering it. By using these tips, you’ll get there. Recognize the process can sometimes be slow, but success truly does still lie within your grasp, even after a setback.

 

The Science Of Happiness: Strategies For A Joyful Life

Life can get messy and unpredictable sometimes and some things are just out of our control. The way we react to certain triggers and situations and how we show up in life determine how joyful or miserable our lives can turn out to be. It takes intentional action to make life joyful and live a happy life. 

 

As the famous quote goes, “It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you react to it that matters.” - Epictetus

 

Below are some strategies for living a joyful life: 

 

Find and Prioritize Your Purpose

 

If you want to live a joyful and fulfilled life, finding a purpose is key. Some people may find purpose in their work and job, but you can also find it outside of paid work, such as doing something for the good of the community or society.

 

Look inward and think about something that you feel passionate about, that gives back to the world, that can bring in some income, and that you are good at. This is most likely to be your calling. When you find and prioritize your purpose, you have something to look forward to and wake up to every morning. It gives you a sense of purpose and joy when you fulfill your purpose, leading to a happy and satisfied life. 

 

Nurture Relationships

 

When we look at the centenarians from the Blue Zones, we see that they highly prioritize and nurture their social relationships with friends and family. They live a simple life where one of their focuses is to build and nurture supportive relationships. 

 

Even at 90 years old, these people are seen to be fit, healthy, and happy free of any chronic diseases due to their lifestyle and familial support. Therefore, it is important to learn a lesson from the people of the Blue Zones that nurturing healthy relationship has a positive impact on living a happy life. We all need support in our lives, a shoulder to cry on, and like-minded friends to share the joys of life with. 

 

Let Go of Things that No Longer Serve Us

 

Life is full of different phases and each phase requires a different and more evolved version of you. To live a joyful life, learn to let go of things, people, situations, and memories that no longer serve you, and be clear on who and what deserves to move forward into the next season of your life. 

 

This can help you let go and embrace release, leading to a happier life. To live more joyfully, learn to let go of perfectionism and how you think life ‘should be’ or what ‘could have been.’ Embrace the present moment fully and declutter your life of habits, negative mindsets, toxic relationships, and feelings of regret, guilt, or shame from the past. Learn to let go of any emotional baggage that may deter you from living a joyful life. 

 

Be Kind and Compassionate to Yourself

 

Self-care is an integral part of living a happier life. This can simply mean being kind and compassionate to yourself by not talking negatively to or about yourself. It could also mean practicing self-care like taking time out of work to rest and wind down instead of overworking yourself, focusing on improving your mental and emotional well-being, taking care of your body, and whatever else you may prefer as self-care. 

 

To be happier, you should ditch the negative self-talk, rewire, and reframe your mindset to be more kind to yourself, and see how your life shifts from misery to joy. 

 

Joy can look different to every person. What you perceive as joy may not be the same version for someone else. Some may find joy in nurturing relationships while others may prefer some ‘me time’ with themselves in solitude. 

 

It is important to discover your version of joy to live a happier life. Lastly, remember to fill your cup first so that you can pour it into others. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so find your purpose, do activities that enrich your life, let go easily, lean on others, and laugh more to live a joyful life. 

 

Forgiveness As Liberation: The Art Of Letting Go Of Resentment

Everyone has experienced conflict and hurt from other’s words or conduct. Suppose a co-worker got credit for your work, or you were bullied as a child. Incidents such as these leave you feeling resentful, bitter, and angry long-term if not resolved. Unresolved resentment can have a significant impact on your health.

 

“There is an enormous physical burden to being hurt and disappointed,” says Karen Swartz, M.D., director of the Mood Disorders Adult Consultation Clinic, Johns Hopkins Hospital. Chronic resentment can affect blood pressure, heart rate, and immune response, raising the risk of heart disease, depression, and other conditions.

 

On a positive note, forgiveness helps to calm your stress level, resulting in better physical and mental health.

 

Why Do We Feel Resentment?

 

When someone hurts us, we may feel a range of negative emotions such as sadness, hostility, or even hatred. When we don’t let go and forgive, we are consumed with those pessimistic feelings, affecting our self-esteem and well-being. If you are suffering from chronic resentment, you can learn to be forgiving; forgiving is a choice.

 

What is Forgiveness?

 

Psychologists commonly define forgiveness as “A conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.” 

 

Bear in mind that you can forgive without denying or forgetting the wrongdoing against you. You are not required to mend a bad relationship or release others from legal liability. 

 

How to Forgive

 

Choose Forgiveness

 

First, you need to decide whether you choose to forgive. While you don't have to forgive, it is to your benefit to do so. Research by the Annals of Behavioral Medicine shows that increased forgiveness decreases perceived stress and improves mental and physical health.

 

Leverage the Power of Positive Thinking

The effect of negative thinking and feelings is unhappiness. In order to heal, be consciously aware when you’re burdened with pessimistic thoughts. Use positive self-talk to replace the distressing thoughts. For example, you may want to retaliate against the person who hurt you. Remind yourself that you will be fair with that person and that you will not mirror their harmful actions.

 

Change Your Perspective

Think about the other person to understand their actions better. Was the person hurt by others or mistreated? Is the person going through a difficult time? That person may be in pain, struggling with chronic resentment, affecting their behavior with others. Look at the person with a compassionate perspective to gain insight. You don’t need to excuse the person, but you can forgive and move forward.

 

Acknowledge and Accept Your Pain

Recognize the hurt you’re feeling; don’t avoid it. Explore the emotions you’re experiencing and accept the pain. Psychology Today reports “Pain is actually a necessary part of happiness, and research shows that it can lead to pleasure in several ways.” For example, pain helps you recognize happiness; otherwise, you wouldn’t recognize it as happiness. Also, relief from pain is pleasurable and increases your happiness.

 

Conclusion

When someone hurts us, we may have a difficult time letting go of the feelings of resentment. Chronic resentment harms our well-being in many ways. On the other hand, forgiveness frees us from negative emotions, calms our stress levels, and brings us peace of mind. While we don’t have to deny or forget the offense against us, letting go of resentment and practicing forgiveness is liberating and necessary for optimal wellness.

"I think the first step is to understand that forgiveness does not exonerate the perpetrator. Forgiveness liberates the victim. It's a gift you give yourself." - T.D. Jakes

 

References

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/forgiveness-your-health-depends-on-it

 

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/forgiveness/definition#what-is-forgiveness

 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5055412/

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201511/5-reasons-you-have-accept-pain-if-you-want-be-happy#:~:text=But%20pain%20is%20actually%20a,t%20recognize%20it%20as%20happiness

5 Creative Ways to Build Better Focus

Building better focus cannot be found in a step-by-step guide. It is a process, one that is filled with starts, stops, leveling up, and many missteps along the way. In fact, improving your focus might just be one of the most challenging things you can try to do in the Twenty-First Century. We have limitless distractions, stress from home and work, and information flying at us 24/7.

 

Below you will find a list of creative ways to work on improving your focus. But what you must remember throughout all the steps is to take inventory consistently. Notice your mental state, what is distracting you, and why is it distracting you. Taking the time to stop and take stock will give you feedback on what is and isn’t working for you, as well as how you are improving along the way.

 

Consider Your Attention

 

Throughout the day, stop and consider how much attention you are paying to the task at hand. Are you fully focused? Or are you only half working on a project while the other half of your brain thinks about lunch?

 

Consider Your Mood

 

Consider your mood throughout the day and why it may be that way. This should be paired with your attention to what you are doing. Are you anxious while you only half-think about the project? Are you annoyed and typing an email? 

 

Write Down Your Distractions & Look at Them

 

Every time you catch yourself being pulled away from the task at hand, write down the distraction and what you were doing, then get back to work. At the end of the day, look back on what distracted you and when. You may be able to pinpoint weak points in your day and find ways to remedy those distractions.

 

Stop and Breath

 

Ever feel like you’re being pulled in ten different directions? Are the distractions flooding at you becoming overwhelming? Stop and breathe. Clear your mind for a few moments, write it all down, and make a plan. While you may not be able to solve all the problems, at least you can do your best to work through each one with a clear mind.

 

Visualize

 

You can use visualization at any time to clear your mind and focus on one thing. This will allow you to push away distractions and build your mind’s ability to concentrate for a lengthened time. You can visualize colors, images, anything that you focus your mind on.

 

Building better focus is not a race. It is a journey that takes time and patience. Consider incorporating creative, focus building exercises into your daily routine.

 

The Purpose of Others Can Help Define Your Purpose

It’s confusing not to know what your purpose is. You may believe you are supposed to be a police officer. But, that just defines your job. It’s not necessarily a purpose. Helping people would be closer to a purpose while the job of police officer helps you accomplish that.

 

You may want to define your purpose more accurately than just stating you help people. However, perhaps you can’t seem to get a grip on any definition. When this is the case, try to determine the purpose of others.

 

If you read the profiles of many of your idols, you will start to see a theme forming. This theme will likely resonate with you and get you closer to your purpose. For instance, you may believe that a certain president was a great motivational speaker and you have always admired that. By learning more about his or her life, you can gain some insight about why they can motivate. The story is as important as the trait of being a motivator. Perhaps part of your purpose is to motivate others.

 

When you are researching or observing others, you need to delve deeper into their backgrounds. The research will reveal what situations they faced and what kind of people they were before becoming successful. You may even uncover information that is not so flattering about your idols concerning their past. But it is insightful. It also shows that these people are not super humans and fallible just like everyone else.

 

Sometimes, you can gain insight into people you would not consider to be idols. They may have opposite views, which you find contentious and even offensive. However, they became the way they are for a reason. Again, their story will help you see a new perspective. It may change your biases and preconceived notions on how people are not as different as you believed.

 

The idea behind learning about the purpose of others is not to become like them. It’s to find some similarities and differences between your purpose and theirs. When you see similarities, this can explain your purpose. When you see differences, you can use this to try to look at life from a different angle.

 

You don’t want to use this information as some formula that you can plug in a computer which then spits out what your purpose is. You need to use it more as a guideline and how it can help you seek new paths in your quest for purpose.

 

6 Important Reasons Why Living with Purpose is Important

Like most people, you’re probably focused on achieving your goals and making the most of your potential. But maybe you have overlooked something that turns out to be fundamental not just to your success, but to your happiness?

 

Living with purpose may be more important than you’ve given it credit for. Experts agree that finding meaning, finding, and living your life’s purpose has wide-ranging benefits, some of them a little unexpected.

 

1. Purpose Can Help You Focus

 

When you have a clear concept of your life’s purpose, it’s easier to focus your energy and your actions on what you want to achieve. You know where you want to go and how to get there. Purpose acts as a guide and a map on how to reach your goals.

 

2. Purpose Makes Gratitude Easy

 

Living with purpose can help you to feel more contented with your life as it already is. People who are aligned with their life’s purpose report greater satisfaction with their present circumstances because they know they are focused on what they want out of life.

 

3. Purpose Sharpens Your Passions

 

Knowing your purpose also helps you focus on what fires you up. It helps you to find your passions and go after them.

 

4. Purpose Helps You Live in Alignment With Your Values

 

Doing the work of your purpose and working out what matters to you in life helps you to align everything you do with your deepest held beliefs and values. Deciding to live a meaningful life means you are not so tempted by the things that will lead you off the path of purpose.

 

5. Purpose Makes You A Better Leader

 

Having a boss who has a clear vision of where they want to go and how to get there is very inspiring for employees and clients alike. Clarity of purpose inspires trust and respect, and it’s a great motivator.

 

6.    Purpose Helps You Live Longer

 

Perhaps the most unexpected benefit of finding and living your life’s purpose is that it can add years to your life span. Researchers in Japan found that men who had a purpose in their life lived longer than men who didn’t. Knowing your purpose can help you deal better with stress and the ups and downs of life.

 

People who are living a purposeful life, aligned with their deepest values, tend to worry less and deal with stress and anxiety better. They have better cardiovascular health and suffer less from depression, insomnia, and anxiety.