Embracing Change: Letting Go To Welcome The New

We all have something we want to let go of, whether it be a harmful habit, physical item, or toxic viewpoint that keeps us tethered to where we are. However, despite wanting to let go, the reality is that embracing change can be hard to do. 

 

Oftentimes, the struggle to let go and embrace change has to do with not having control over the future - and that can be a really powerful fear. But the reality is that while we can make choices based on the best information we have at the time, life is always going to be in a state of flux. 

 

Whether the change is good or sad, practicing the art of letting go can help you to become more flexible and adaptable. It can also help us move forward if we’re still living in the past. Here’s some helpful information that can do just that. 

 

Why Do We Struggle With Change? 

 

Before we dive into all the ways you can start letting go, let’s first analyze why we’re so resistant to change in the first place. 

 

According to Katherine Cullen MFA, LCSW, in her article titled Why Is Change So Hard? published in Psychology Today, “We often find ourselves resisting change, perhaps because of the perceived risk or fear associated with it.” 

 

In her article, she refers to examples such as a chain smoker looking to quit the habit. First, is the acknowledgment of the act. in this case, the smoker realizes that they’re going through a lot of cigarettes per day. While this isn’t enough to prompt immediate action, it gets the gears turning. 

 

The next phase is contemplation, which is when the individual considers the pros and cons of letting go. In the case of a chain smoker, this could be comparing the benefits of quitting such as renewed lung tissue and lowering the risk of developing lung cancer, as well as the cons such as not knowing another way to relieve stress and being fearful of not having any other method of self-soothing. 

 

After weighing the pros and cons, most people will then make a detailed plan - i.e. choose a day to quit smoking and buy a yoga mat for stress relief or hard candy to suck on when they have a craving. Then, they go through with it. Getting to this point of action is hard, but maintaining the lifestyle is even harder because everything is outside of the person’s comfort zone. 

 

For a chain smoker, a watermelon-flavored hard candy is hardly going to be an adequate substitute for something they enjoy. And since lifestyle changes aren’t a linear process, any setbacks could lead to self-judgment and frustration, making embracing the new change all the more difficult. 

 

This cycle is why we’re so resistant to change. We’re often fearful of what lies on the other side of change. Though change isn’t always bad, it’s the what-ifs that we focus on. While the chain smoker giving up cigarettes is just one example, another might be an adult child having difficulty discarding their deceased mother’s clothing. 

 

While they may not necessarily need them, they’re scared of getting rid of them for the risk that they will one day change their mind, or that they will somehow be disappointing their loved ones. Fears like this lead to prolonged (and unnecessary) suffering. 

 

Parents with grown children may also suffer through the struggle to let go of their child’s bedroom or childhood effects, which can make it hard to embrace their child’s adulthood and the new dynamic shared between them. 

 

At the end of the day, the fear of letting go and embracing change often comes down to not knowing what to expect and the risk of having regrets about the decision to change later on, especially if it doesn’t pan out the way we want. 

 

Tips for Letting Go and Embracing Change

 

Letting go can be hard as is, let alone when we’re also forced to embrace the unwanted change that comes with it. 

 

As in the example above, letting go of a loved one’s clothes or personal items has nothing to do with the love of the tangible items, but rather the fear that they’re going to forget their loved ones if they don’t have a physical memory attached to them. 

 

Regardless of what you’re struggling to let go of, here are some tips that can help you welcome change, even if it’s going to be a little difficult. 

 

Declutter

 

Like the example mentioned earlier, holding onto items for the fear that you’ll regret getting rid of them isn’t a good enough reason to keep them around. Clutter can lead to stress, anxiety, and in many cases, depression. 

 

Holding onto items that no longer serve you, even if they’re simply no longer your style, can keep you in the past and chain you there. If you’re interested in letting go, start small. Grab a trash bag and find 10 items you can throw away, like receipts, chipped mugs, or socks that have holes in them. With enough practice, you can work your way up from items that are damaged to those that have a mental chokehold on you. 

 

This is especially true if you’re holding onto clutter for sentimental reasons. While it’s okay to keep a few things, dedicating your home to people or lifestyles from the past can keep you tethered to a painful time in your life. Learning to let go can help you accept what happened and embrace your new life moving forward. 

 

Don’t Dismiss Your Fears

 

One way you can embrace change is by acknowledging that you don’t want to let certain things go, whether it’s a tangible item or not. 

 

The more you try to dismiss your feelings, and by proxy, your fears, the more likely they are to stay with you and affect your decisions. If you want to truly embrace change, then acknowledge that getting rid of your mother’s items, or your child’s baby clothes (for example) is hard. 

 

Then, go ahead and acknowledge your fears about getting rid of them. For example, getting rid of baby clothes could signify that the time of your life is over, and you’re scared of what comes next. 

 

Oftentimes, the difficulty of letting go is because we’re fearful of feeling sad, being alone, moving on, or feeling vulnerable. However, these are feelings shared among society. When you bring these fears to the surface, they not only no longer seem so scary, but you can now identify solutions. 

 

With the right support system, you can embrace your fears and still let go, knowing that it’s going to suck…and that’s okay. 

 

Listen to Your Inner Voice

 

At the end of the day, you’ll know when it’s time to get rid of something, or someone, or move on. These feelings are usually subtle; one day you just don’t feel the same way about it anymore. However, when you have that inkling, take notice. 

 

Your inner voice doubles as your voice of reason. Though you may be quick to ignore it or do the opposite, trust that when that little voice pops up telling you it’s time to let go, it’s because deep down, it’s what you know is best for you. 

 

Letting go and embracing change is all about the fear of not knowing what lies around the corner. You can make this change easier by trusting your gut and realizing that yes, change can be scary, but so can staying miserable where you are. 

 

How Can I Feel More Comfortable With Change?

Change can be difficult to deal with, mainly because it is uncomfortable. However, change is an essential part of life. If you can't deal with change, you will never move forward or grow as a person. Below are some ways to help yourself be more comfortable with any changes that are coming your way. 

 

Recognize When Change is Coming

 

Sometimes, change is so uncomfortable because you weren't expecting it. This is why you should do your best to recognize when change is coming and tell yourself in advance. For example, maybe your boss just put in her two weeks' notice. This means that there will be a new boss in two weeks, who will probably want to change a few things around the office. Let yourself know this and go over the scenario in your mind so the change won’t seem as shocking when it does come about. 

 

Write Down Your Fears

 

Change is also uncomfortable because it often digs up some of your deepest fears. Think about the above example. You could be worried that a new boss will demote or fire you. If this is the case, write these fears down. Writing your fears down, no matter what they are, will help you be less afraid and better prepared when (and if) you need to face them at some point. 

 

Ask For Help

 

Are you struggling with a certain change? Ask for help. This can be in the form of mental help from a health professional, or maybe even just asking if your friend will allow you to vent with them for a little bit. Everyone has gone through changes at some point in their life and knows how they are feeling. So know that you never have to face change alone.

 

Look For the Positives

 

All of this fear and discomfort comes from the negative side of change. Remember, change isn't negative. Change is actually positive. This means you need to do all that you can to see the positive side of change. So maybe your boss is leaving, but maybe this means you will finally get a promotion or that you will have a great time working for someone new. No matter the change in your life, there is always a positive side!

 

Overall, change is a crucial part of life, but knowing this doesn't make it any less difficult to go through. When you are struggling to be comfortable with change, try preparing yourself in advance, writing down your fears, and asking for help if you need it. Don't forget to always look at the positive side of change so that you can forget the negatives. 

 

If You Want More Meaningful Relationships, Schedule Them

Do you have a day planner? Do you have a calendar or schedule where you plan out your activities? A lot of people plan their careers. They have a virtual or physical planner where they keep track of their work commitments. They take their job seriously and know that if they schedule their professional life, they can be more successful than if they take it as it comes.

 

Unfortunately, many people don't do that with their personal lives.

 

That's too bad. We've known for a long time that the human brain loves to be given marching orders. It was designed to respond favorably to order and habitual behavior. If you want deeper connections, you should schedule the experiences that build and maintain them.

 

Who Do You Want a More Meaningful Relationship With?

 

It's been proven that deep relationships make you less likely to develop disease or become sick. Your mind, body, and emotions benefit. The more people you truly understand on a deep level and connect with in a meaningful way, the happier and healthier you will be.

 

This means that when you connect with someone in a big way, you get a significant boost to your well-being. Who wouldn't like that in their lives? To experience all these wonderful benefits of a healthy social life, ask yourself who you can connect with on a deeper level.

 

Once you have that person in mind, sit down and ask yourself some questions. What do they like to do? What values are important to them? Do they like traveling or knitting, or reading? What vices do they have that they wish they could defeat? What are their big goals?

 

If you don't know the answers to these questions, or at least have some general idea of their response, what can you do to discover those answers? In many cases, it doesn't make sense to come out and ask big questions like this. You can spend more time with that person in experiences and activities they enjoy. This helps you indirectly learn that information.

 

Schedule time for those activities. Talk a lot, and listen. Remember your ultimate goal, to get to know the person better. Be flexible and understand that a deep connection might mean a relationship with someone that's unlike you in many ways. Opposites often attract. 

 

Keep these things in mind and schedule the time and emotional energy required to develop a deep and meaningful relationship. Offer a time and environment that's comfortable to them, be yourself, and do this regularly to form a strong, healthy connection.

 

Schedule Your Worries for a Clutter-Free Mind

The odds are you deal with mental clutter every day. Even the most mentally calm and focused individual engages in clutter-gathering activities. Do you ever ...

 

... ruminate needlessly over some experience in your past or some unknown situation in your future?

... obsess over an interaction you had with someone, good or bad?

... worry and "what if?" yourself crazy about something out of your control?

... hold tightly to negative experiences, emotions, and feelings?

... constantly surround yourself with external distractions and a continual barrage of sensory input?

 

These create mental clutter. It wastes your brain-based energy and your valuable time. These and other mentally cluttering activities lead to disorganization and distractions, confusion and a lack of mental control, poor productivity, and can even cause physical fatigue. The more mental clutter you experience, the more negative emotions and feelings you have to deal with.

 

Stop Worrying All of the Time and Schedule It Instead

 

You wouldn't be human if you didn't worry about different aspects of your life. You want to be your best and create the best life experience. That means you're going to fret, worry and wonder over any number of topics from time to time.

 

Your worry comes about because of fears, expectations, concern over potential outcomes, and other reasons. Instead of engaging these worries when they pop up, schedule a time each day to deal with what's happening in your mind. When something worrisome enters your mind, you tell yourself you'll deal with it at a previously scheduled time.

 

Then consciously get your mind involved with something else. Do anything that requires your conscious devotion. This will push your worry to the back burner of your mental stove, which can be dealt with later. 

 

Stop spinning the wheels of your mental machinery. Your worries don't have to take over your mind and start cluttering your mental storage space. Deal with them by appointment, sometime in your schedule, where you can give them your undivided attention.

 

Schedule this worry-work at the same time each day and each week if possible. When you perform the same activity at the same time, eventually, your mind will notice. It begins to expect you to handle your worries at a designated time. You'll discover you start to worry less because your mind is used to ignoring these thoughts when they are off schedule. This can limit the worrisome thoughts you have to deal with throughout your day.

 

How to Calm Your Racing Mind, Stop Stressing and Enjoy Life

That inner chatter never seems to stop. Speaking of your inner voice, why is it so negative most of the time? And when is stress going to take some time off? There isn't an area of your life where stress isn't a common companion. When will you ever be able to actually enjoy your life?

 

If you've had these thoughts, you definitely aren't alone. Modern-day life is crazy busy. There are digital distractions everywhere, and we voluntarily ask for more every time we pick up our phones. Between our jobs, family commitments, friends, and other constant influences in our lives, it seems we never have any time to call our own.

 

Good for you if you want to slow your life down from its usual warp speed. Unlike many people, you realize that modern life's constant go, go, go isn't necessarily beneficial. Here are a few ways to reduce the time urgency in your life so you enjoy more control, less stress, and more free time to do important things.

 

Plan for Pauses

 

When things are getting hectic, stop. Please don't make a quick decision before pausing to think about it. It would help if you also planned several pauses throughout your day.

 

These don't have to be long periods. The busiest schedules allow several 5 or 10-minute breaks so you can slow down, de-stress, and calm your mind.

 

Shhh!

 

We're referring to the need for a stress-free, quiet space so you can slow down your racing mind and enjoy some downtime.

 

Noise, chatter, music, and audible input from multiple sources can overpower your mind. It jacks up your stress system and can even harm your body. Locate a quiet and calm space with few distractions to spend time during the day. 

 

Visualize a Different Reality

 

If you can't physically remove yourself from a busy, fast-paced environment, take a mental trip instead. Close your eyes and clear your mind. Visualize a place you find peaceful and calming. Go there in your mind. Immerse yourself in this imaginary experience to quiet the modern world's distractions, noise, and constant demands.

 

Slowing down is not just about physical speed. It also involves your senses. Give your senses a rest occasionally and slow the flow of modern-day life. This gives you more time to de-stress and enjoy life rather than feeling like it's something you have to endure.

 

How to Start a Visualization Practice - The Fundamentals

Introduction to Visualization

 

Visualization is a powerful mental practice that involves creating vivid and detailed images in your mind of the future you desire. By engaging your imagination and cognitive processes, you can turn abstract goals into concrete visions, making it easier to achieve them. Think of visualization as a mental rehearsal for success. Whether you aim to improve your health, advance your career, or achieve personal goals, visualization can help you get there. Let’s dive into the basics of how to start this transformative practice.

 

Section 1: Understanding Visualization

 

Visualization begins with your mind. It involves creating detailed mental images of your desired outcome and engaging all your senses to make these images as real as possible. The key is to imagine not just the visual aspect, but also the sounds, smells, tastes, and feelings associated with your goal. This multisensory approach helps to anchor the visualization in your subconscious mind, making it more effective.

 

For example, if your goal is to excel in a public speaking engagement, you would visualize yourself on stage, seeing the audience, hearing their applause, feeling the microphone in your hand, and sensing the adrenaline and excitement of delivering a successful speech. The more detailed your visualization, the more powerful it will be.

 

Section 2: Setting the Stage for Visualization

 

Before you begin visualizing, it’s important to create a conducive environment. Here’s how:

 

Find a Quiet Space: Choose a location where you won’t be disturbed. This could be a quiet room, a peaceful outdoor setting, or any place where you feel comfortable and relaxed.

 

Eliminate Distractions: Turn off your phone, close the door, and minimize any potential interruptions.

 

Create a Relaxing Atmosphere: Dim the lights, play soft music, or use white noise to create a calming ambiance. You might also consider using aromatherapy with scents like lavender or chamomile to enhance relaxation.

 

Get Comfortable: Sit or lie down in a comfortable position. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths to center yourself.

 

Section 3: The Visualization Process

 

Now that you’re ready, follow these steps to begin your visualization practice:

 

Define Your Goal: Start by clearly identifying what you want to achieve. Be specific and detailed. Instead of visualizing “success,” visualize a specific achievement, like getting a promotion, completing a marathon, or mastering a new skill.

 

Create a Detailed Image: In your mind’s eye, see yourself achieving this goal. Include as many details as possible. What does it look like? What sounds do you hear? Are there any specific smells or tastes associated with this achievement? How does it feel to accomplish this goal?

 

Engage Your Emotions: Emotions play a crucial role in visualization. Feel the excitement, joy, and satisfaction of achieving your goal. The more positive emotions you associate with your visualization, the more powerful it will be.

 

Repetition is Key: Practice your visualization daily. The more you visualize, the more ingrained these images will become in your subconscious mind, increasing the likelihood of achieving your goals.

 

Section 4: Tips for Effective Visualization

 

To make the most of your visualization practice, keep these tips in mind:

 

Stay Positive: Focus on positive outcomes and avoid negative thoughts. If doubts or fears arise, acknowledge them and then shift your focus back to your desired outcome.

 

Be Patient: Visualization is a skill that improves with practice. Don’t get discouraged if it feels challenging at first. With time, it will become easier and more effective.

 

Combine with Action: While visualization is a powerful tool, it should be combined with action. Use your visualizations to motivate and guide your efforts toward achieving your goals.

 

Conclusion

 

Visualization is a powerful practice that can help you turn your dreams into reality. By understanding the basics, setting the stage, and engaging in regular practice, you can harness the power of your mind to achieve your goals. Remember to stay positive, be patient, and combine visualization with actionable steps. Start your visualization journey today and watch as your desired future begins to unfold.

 

The Essential Role of Self-Discipline in Overcoming Obstacles

Life is full of barriers. Sometimes, the impediments you encounter on your journey seem impossible to overcome. Usually, though, there is a solution to life's problems. Make the following considerations when you require discipline to overcome a hardship.

 

Take The First Step

 

Pythagoras was a Greek philosopher in the 6th century BCE. As with most philosophers during this early age of enlightened thinking, he had several views on living that still apply today. Here's a quote credited to him that can help you improve your discipline. 

 

"Beginning is half of every action."

 

It's only natural to stop dead when you have a big obstacle in front of you. It makes sense. You have to judge how this impediment to your progress can be overcome. The key is to avoid getting stuck in this assessment process.

 

Discipline means taking action. It's like courage in a lot of ways. You act even though you are uncertain about the outcome. When roadblocks appear without warning, take some time to formulate an action plan. Then act. The key to finishing is starting, so don't let life's obstacles keep you from progressing to a great outcome.

 

Become Your Hero

 

Do you have a favorite movie star? There may be a leader in finance, politics, or some other field that you look up to. You are their biggest fan. One way to develop rock-solid self-confidence is to model that person.

 

What would they do if they were going through the same situation you are encountering? How would they react? Certainly, they would succeed. That's one of the things you respect about them: their ability to reach new levels of achievement reliably. When it's tough to push on, be the person you admire in your mind. This can give you the discipline to keep going.

 

Answer This Simple Question

 

Life gets difficult at times. You've already encountered this natural law. You wouldn't be here now if you weren't a survivor, someone who has overcome difficulties in the past.

 

There have been times you had to practice incredible self-control. Even though you have succeeded in these situations, it might be tough to see yourself getting past some difficulty now. Answer this simple question when self-doubt threatens to keep you from creating the reality you deserve.

 

What am I willing to do to change my life?

 

Will you confidently take a step today to overcome an obstacle when you prefer to wait until tomorrow? Discipline is about choosing to do something you'd rather not do right now to improve your life. Answering that question fills you with the energy and confidence needed to push forward and gives you the first action you need to take to create change.

 

Remember that you can't control everything that happens in your life. The only thing you can control is your response. Choosing not to react when life gets hard will change your situation. Disciplining yourself to take action when obstacles appear is its own reward.

 

Don't Let Your Circumstances Dictate Your Self-Worth

Star Trek was a groundbreaking science fiction TV series of the 1960s. A matter transporter was one of the technological wonders the show employed in many episodes. An object or a person could be teleported from the Star Ship Enterprise to a transporter on board another spacecraft or a nearby planet.

 

Imagine that the fictitious transporter worked. You could teleport yourself from your current location to anywhere else on earth. You could leave any environment or situation in just a few seconds and transport yourself to a much more favorable location.

 

If you are familiar with the original Star Trek television series or the many TV and movie shows and films it spawned, you know how timely the transporter could be. Captain Kirk, Spock, Dr. McCoy, and others were often saved from imminent death when transported to a much safer and friendlier location.

 

Transporting Your Self-Worth

 

You have a virtual transporter in your mind. You can transport yourself to another reality whenever your experiences change. When things are going great, many people live in a high self-worth reality. When life gets tough, they shift their self-worth to a lower-quality reality. 

 

We often allow our perception of ourselves to change due to our experiences. We allow people, places, and things to change our feelings. If we already struggle with self-worth, it happens more often than not. It’s part of being human, a flawed human that we all are. That doesn’t make it right. It just means you need to be aware of the possibility of it happening.

 

Keep this in mind, your environment and your thoughts might change but it doesn’t change the unique individual you are. You are a good person soul deep. You are capable and worthy. So, wherever you go, no matter what external factors are involved, there you are.

 

There’s No Need to Shift Your Self-Worth

 

Feeling the need to flee doesn't happen to someone with a high level of self-worth. They recognize the person that they are inside no matter what external factors are happening around them. 

 

People with a great self-image and high self-esteem are comfortable in their skin. They don't change their opinion of who they are just because of the surrounding circumstances. This is good because our circumstances and experiences frequently change without us being able to stop them.

 

Value yourself. Embrace who you are, warts and all. Intimately get to know your strengths and weaknesses, your skills and abilities. Respect the fact that you are a unique individual that has never existed before you came along and will never exist after you are gone. That's reason enough to respect and love yourself greatly. 

 

Admire who you are. You were created uniquely and are valuable to the world just as you are. Don't let your present circumstances change the way you perceive yourself because they can change without any control on your part.

 

5 Tips for Keeping Self-Sabotage at Bay

We want to be productive. In fact, you might even wake up in the morning with all kinds of enthusiasm for the projects you’re going to get done during the day. 

 

Now fast forward a few hours, and suddenly you’re dragging yourself home at nightfall wondering where the day went, feeling like you never accomplished anything at all.

 

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Most people feel this way at least sometimes. The trick is to realize that this isn’t something entirely outside of your control. Sure, things are going to happen, which derail you, but more often than not, you’re reaping the fruits of self-sabotage. You’ve derailed yourself, through your own negative self-talk.

 

How to get past this? Simple! Start with these easy tips:

 

Listen to Music

 

It’s hard to get yourself going if your mood is what’s dragging. Thankfully this is a quick fix. Put on some music you love, something fast-paced and catchy for a quick pick-me-up and watch your productivity soar.

 

Get up and Move

 

Like listening to music, putting your body in motion will build your energy levels (so long as you’re not trying to run a marathon). Dance around the room, take a brisk walk or try a few jumping jacks to get the blood flowing. Then tackle your task again, wide-awake and energized.

 

Look Inward 

 

Conversely, sometimes what you need is some quiet time. If you find your mind racing and yourself unable to concentrate on what you’re going, try meditation to slow things down. Find a quiet place, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing. Take deep breaths, nice and slow, and focus yourself on the present until you feel calm again.

 

Reassess What’s Important

 

It might be you’re not getting things done because you no longer find the value in your goal. If this seems to be the case, take some time to ask yourself some very crucial questions about why you’re on this journey. It might be you either need to shift your goal to something else entirely or, at the very least, adjust the outcome to serve your present needs.

 

Contribute

 

When all else fails, if you do not feel your work has value, offer to help someone else. Mentoring is one of those win-win situations where you bring your life skills and experience to help someone else who truly needs it. At the same time, you rediscover your passion through the act of teaching others what you know.

 

Do all this, and it’s good-bye self-sabotage, hello accomplishment. Soon you’ll be more productive than ever! 

 

4 Ways You Can Deal with Self-Doubt

Everyone experiences self-doubt from time to time. It's part of life. The important thing is that when you do experience self-doubt, you handle it in the right way. This will ensure that you can overcome it and get back on the road to success in no time at all. Keep reading to find a few ways to deal with self-doubt when negative thoughts arise. 

 

1. Resolve Not to Compare Yourself With Others

 

Often, thoughts of self-doubt come when you compare yourself to someone else. Resolve in advance not to let this happen. 

 

When it does (which it probably will at some point), remind yourself that you aren't the other person. They have a journey completely different from your own. Look at how far you've come on your journey. Your journey is yours and yours alone. 

 

2. Remember the Past is the Past

 

Many people experience self-doubt when thinking about the past. Whenever the past comes up in your mind, remind yourself that it is over and done with. If you dwell on the past, it will make self-doubt worse.

 

Look towards the future and all of the plans you have instead. It can also help to list all the things you are grateful for in the present. 

 

3. Remind Yourself that Failures are Lessons

 

Everyone will have failures at some point in their life. This is inevitable. When you experience a failure, you will likely have some thoughts of self-doubt. 

 

Don't let these get you down. Instead of focusing on the negative, resolve to focus on the positive. Run through the lessons you have learned to feel confident you won't make the same mistake again.

 

4. Have a Support System

 

There is nothing worse than experiencing self-doubts and feeling alone simultaneously. You should do everything in your power to have a support system in place when these doubts start to creep in. 

 

The support system doesn't have to be physical. It could also be a forum or an online support group. Either way, it should be someone you trust to talk to when the going gets rough. They can help remind you of what an amazing person you are and the journey you’ve embarked on to get where you are.  

 

Overall, battling self-doubt when it pops up is never easy. If you follow the four suggestions on this list, you will find yourself well equipped to deal with self-doubt when it does arise. Before you know it, you'll be back on your way to achieving your dreams as your confident and amazing self!