Why Do We Struggle With Self-Care?

We all know that self-care is important to your well-being and success in life. This fact alone doesn't make it any easier to carve out more time in your life for it. Please keep reading to discover some of the reasons you may struggle with self-care so that you can be more aware as you try to work it into your routine. 

 

You Feel Shame

 

Many people don’t find the time for self-care for the simple reason that deep down; they don't believe that they deserve it. This comes from a poor self-image when an individual doesn't believe they are worth the time for proper self-care. Improving your self-image and reminding yourself that you are deserving of self-care can make it easier to schedule time in your busy life for it. 

 

You Don’t Want to Make the Effort

 

It is also an effort to set aside time out of your schedule to take care of yourself, and some people are too lazy to make this effort. Often this laziness goes back to a poor self-image or poor time management, or both, so these two aspects may need to be addressed if you find yourself not wanting to make an effort to include self-care in your life. Sometimes these people find it is easier to engage in self-care when they put it directly into their schedule. 

 

You Don’t Know What Self-Care is

 

In this day and age, it is common to hear people say "treat yourself," and it's important to distinguish that treating yourself is not self-care. Treating yourself should come as a reward after a specific activity, not a regular staple in your life. For example, "treating yourself" is an ice cream cone on a Friday night, while "self-care" is being sure you eat enough healthy fruits and vegetables. 

 

You Are Tired

 

The number one reason that people struggle with self-care is that they are tired. This is a self-perpetuating problem because, without proper self-care, you will feel increasingly tired. If this is something you struggle with, it's important to get over that first hump of self-care and get yourself some rest so that you don't feel too tired for future self-care sessions. 

 

All in all, there are several reasons you could be struggling with self-care. This article might not even list your specific reason here. Regardless, it would be best if you found out why you are struggling with self-care so that you can solve the problem. Without self-care, you will be tired and stressed for the rest of your life. 

 

How To Start Meditating

Getting started with meditation is a lot easier than you may think. There isn’t any special equipment you need to buy or classes you should be taking. While buying a book, a guided meditation audio recording or an app for your smartphone are certainly options, you don’t even have to do that to get started. I’ll share everything you need to know to get started meditating right here in this post. 

 

Start by getting comfortable in a spot that’s as free of distractions as possible. You want to sit down either on a chair with your feet firmly planted on the ground, or sitting cross-legged on the floor. If you sit on the floor, you’ll be more comfortable if you sit on a cushion. It’s important that you can sit in whatever position you choose comfortably and that you’re keeping your back straight. Slumping may make you sleepy while you meditate, and bad posture may cause you discomfort after a while. 

 

Before we start with the actual meditation, let’s get back to distractions. In the beginning, you want to cut as many of them out as possible. Choose a quiet spot where no one will interrupt you. Turn off the ringer on your phone, close the blinds if you think it will help to create a calm and soothing space. You won’t always have to go through all this trouble to meditate because, after a little practice, you’ll be able to do the little meditation exercise I’m about to share with you anytime, anywhere. But like any new skill, meditating can be a little hard in the beginning. It sounds simple enough, but it’s easy to get distracted. That’s why it’s important to set yourself up for success by cutting out any distractions you can. 

 

Here’s how to meditate. Sit down, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. Notice how the air flows in and out of your nose and mouth. Try to think of nothing else. This is the hard part and something that takes practice. Start meditating for a few minutes here and there and increase the time as you move along. Don’t judge yourself when your thoughts stray. Keep bringing yourself back to the sensation of the breath anytime you notice that you’re thinking of something else. 

 

That’s all there’s to it. Getting started with meditation is simple, but like any new skill, it takes practice. Be patient with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Stick with it and keep practicing these new meditation skills. You’ll be glad you did.

 

Baggage Be Gone: How To Let Go Of Emotional Weight

Per Sabrina Romanoff, a clinical psychologist, in an article published in Very Well Mind, emotional baggage “...refers to unfinished emotional issues, stressors, pain, and difficulties we’ve experienced that continue to take up space in our minds and affect our present relationships”

 

In other words, the psychological wounds we carry prevent us from living peacefully. Worse, emotional baggage can lead to ongoing stress and depression, and even begin to create physical issues. It’s not uncommon for people with lots of emotional baggage to experience panic attacks, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, and insomnia. 

 

Though we all carry some sort of emotional baggage throughout our lives, the happiest people are those who learn to control their emotional baggage instead of allowing it to control them. Of course, this is easier said than done. 

 

However, we have some helpful tips on how to let go of the emotional weight so you can start living freely. 

 

Identify What Caused It

 

Think of addressing your emotional baggage like mold remediation. Though your goal is to treat the mold, you first have to identify what caused it because it doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. The same concept applies to this. 

 

If you carry guilt or commitment issues - two very common types of emotional weight - then it’s not enough to just accept what happened or just jump into a relationship to prove you’re okay. Doing so may lead to temporary satisfaction, but nothing sustainable. Instead, you need to figure out why these feelings exist. Like the mold, you have to get down to the real cause and treat that before you can address anything else. 

 

For example, the root cause of commitment issues could be anything from fear of rejection or abandonment that stems from childhood or having experienced abuse in a previous relationship. By identifying the root cause, you can then address its symptoms.

 

Seek Therapy 

 

If you’re dealing with an emotional weight that’s beginning to get too heavy to carry, then one way you can start to let go is by letting someone else help you with the load. One way to do this is by seeking the guidance and support of a licensed therapist.

 

In therapy, you can address your past and how it’s currently infringing on your life. Furthermore, you’ll get a chance to address what you don’t like about the baggage, which can help motivate you to unpack it. 

 

Though therapy has become a little more expensive in recent years, there are affordable options through apps like BetterHelp. Many therapists also work on a sliding scale or even on a pro bono basis, so don’t be afraid to ask about those options. 

 

Learn to Sit With Uncomfortable Emotions

 

One of the main reasons why we tend to hold onto emotional baggage is because we don’t take the time to process it. 

 

Though everyone has their coping mechanisms, it’s never healthy to avoid your emotions or try pushing them under the rug. Even if you do that - and think things are okay for a little while - they will eventually pop up again the next time you encounter a similar emotion or situation. 

 

A good example would be grief. If you don’t take the time to feel sad and angry, you may not be equipped to take care of yourself or be a strong support system for others when they, too, eventually encounter loss. 

 

It’s going to be uncomfortable but sit with your sadness when you start feeling sad. Cry when you feel like crying. Scream when you feel angry. Starting out, and to make this easier, you can even set a timer so you’re only dealing with these negative emotions within a window you feel comfortable with. 

 

When you do this, you take the power back from these emotions, so they no longer control you. With enough practice and time, you’ll be able to encounter a sad moment instead of allowing the emotional weight of a trigger to ruin your entire day. 

 

These are just a few of the best ways you can begin to let go of emotional baggage. While we all have emotional weight, you don’t have to let it rule over you. There’s a grace in allowing yourself to be human and remember that what words or actions hurt you in the past don’t have to be your identifiers forever.