Bringing Out The Best In Others

When you take the time to bring out the best in others, you may find that it is enough to change the world. Everyone has something that makes them unique and special, something that makes them stand out from the crowd. But not everyone knows what that is or how to find their unique talents. They may assume that they are not as good as others and their self-esteem is going to falter as well. 

 

You could be the change that will help them to see the best in themselves, the champion behind them that will never let them fall behind. Some of the ways that you can bring out the best in others include:

 

Be Generous

 

To start, you need to be generous. Give others your time and energy. Even more importantly, give them the benefit of the doubt. Believe in them, even when they fail or stumble and struggle to believe in themselves. It takes no talent to believe in someone who is already reaching their goals and knocking down all the walls. The hard thing is to see some of the talents that are buried deep inside someone, especially when that person doesn’t even know that talent is there. 

 

Be Open-Minded

 

Talent can take a lot of different forms and it can bring someone into unusual situations. Many of the most talented people you may meet throughout your life will be completely different than you. For example, maybe you like to have things quiet and this person likes to be loud and outgoing. The greatest talent in seeing the best in others is to get past some of your own biases. Kick that to the curb and see what a difference it makes. 

 

Be Clear

 

When you want to bring out the best in others, your role is to be clear and interact with other people. If you want to do this, you need to collaborate, foster talent, and be there for the other person. You don’t have to be the most capable or the smartest or the best person in the room. You just need to be clear and ready to listen and learn along the way. Let the other person know that you value them and would like to be there for them as they learn more about their talents as well. 

 

Be Persistent

 

It is never easy when it is time to foster talent. The other person can get discouraged and often distracted. They can come to rely on you to do most of the work, rather than taking on the initiative and using some of their talents and skills. This is natural because finding talent can be difficult and some people may get discouraged. Your goal is to be persistent with them and not let them give up at all. You can be there to help others, but your job is not to do the work for them. With some good persistence, you will be able to help them reach their goals and they will be proud that they put in the work themselves. 

 

Be Present

 

You need to pay attention and be present to spot the talent in other people. You need to be able to find some of the smallest clues because most people don’t know their talents and so will not show them off to you in the process. You have to be curious to learn more about that person and then be present enough to show that you care and want to be there for them as well. The greater your ability to pay attention, the more talent you can find for other people. 

 

The Stress Relieving Value of Accepting Your Differences

Were you ever teased as a child? A lot of us were. Some kids will make fun of others who are fatter or skinnier, taller or shorter, or different in some other way. They, unfortunately, learn this behavior from adults who likewise chastise their colleagues, friends, and others for nothing more than being different.

 

This becomes a big problem when several children attack another child and declare some difference to be negative. When this behavior is ongoing, the different child can begin to feel low self-worth. After all, if everyone is telling her that she's different and that her differences aren't good, they must be right.

 

Why else would they all be saying the same thing? That child becomes upset with the person she sees in the mirror. Why is she overweight? Why is her skin different from others? Why wasn't she given the intelligence that all her friends have? This leads to self-doubt, low self-esteem, and in some cases, risky and unsafe behavior.

 

Stress Is a Killer, but It Doesn't Have To Be

 

Obviously, that's a very stressful scenario. Unfortunately, this is a common situation for not just children but teens, young adults, and even older grown-ups.

 

It causes so much stress, both physical and mental. The stress starts to build up because the differences are seen as negative. The marvelous, unique individual that was created is not allowed to be who they really are. They try not to be themselves.

 

On the physiological side of the equation, this chronic stress produces chemicals that lead to anxiety, depression, and other negative feelings. Ask any doctor, and they'll tell you stress is related to most chronic illnesses and many major causes of death.

 

Your differences don't have to be stressful. They shouldn't be. When you embrace who you are, you realize you have much to offer the world. You're fine just like you are right now. This leads to confidence and less stress. You aren't as anxious about trying to please others by fitting into some silly idea they have of who you should be.

 

Your confidence and self-esteem go up when you accept and love your differences. 

 

You'll also find that certain people in your life want to manipulate you rather than accept who you are. Perhaps you should move on from these people and spend more time with supportive individuals who encourage your uniqueness.

 

Be happy with who you are. You're the only "you" that will ever be created. There will never be another human being exactly like you. When you embrace that fact and look at your differences as advantages, you'll suffer less stress and anxiety and enjoy more self-love, fulfillment, and success.

 

If You Want Less Stress and Anxiety, Learn to Empathize More

Stress is a killer. You might hear someone say, "The stress at my job is killing me!" They could be overstating the situation. In many cases though, stress can quite literally kill you.

 

Chronic stress is related to the six leading causes of death. It's believed that more than 75% of all trips to the emergency room or a doctor are stress-related. So the next time a friend tells you stress is killing him, you might want to take that statement seriously.

 

Ask anyone you know and they'll tell you of a stressful situation they experienced recently. This is an unfortunately common occurrence. You might have too much stress in your own life.

 

For a number of reasons, you can benefit from stressing less and relaxing more often. If that sounds like something you'd enjoy, just learn to empathize more.

 

How Empathy Leads to Less Stress and Depression

 

An empathetic person can place themselves in the emotional experience of someone else. That's the first part of empathy. The part of the empathetic process some people forget is responding in a way that's helpful.

 

You see a coworker has a huge workload. She's stressing out and you know there's no possible way she can hit a proposed deadline. You communicate to her that even though her productivity is excellent and she's a great worker, you don't know how she's going to get everything done. 

 

You just paid her a compliment. You saw her emotions were frazzled and she wasn't in a good place mentally. So, you said something nice about her ability on the job.

 

The next thing you can do after you identify with her situation is to provide assistance. Offer to help her tackle some of her responsibilities. When you do, your coworker will thank you. She'll experience less stress, and science tells us that you'll also have less stress, anxiety and depression.

 

When you learn to recognize that someone else is experiencing negative emotions, you want to help. This is the response for most people. What also happens is that you subconsciously recognize that you're not in that situation. You can understand your coworker's emotional stress, but you aren't experiencing the same thing yourself.

 

Dr. Jamil Zaki is a psychology professor and the director of the Social Neuroscience Laboratory in Stanford. He says empathy can help you see past the many differences people have. It helps you move past prejudice or bias. These are negative emotions. They can produce a stress response in your body. Empathy doesn't allow that to develop.

 

Dr. Zaki also says empathy makes people happier in their relationships and even more successful at work. Studies show us that an empathetic person learns how to process his or her own emotions properly by being able to recognize the emotions other people are going through. That means being more empathetic in your life cannot only help others, but it can also give you a wonderful boost of less stress and more peace of mind.

 

10 Public Speaking Tips (Infographic)

 

Making The Most Of Quality Time With Friends And Family

The relationships we have in our lives have a significant impact on our well-being. They help us celebrate good times, offer support during the bad, and fill our lives with companionship to help prevent feelings of isolation and depression.

 

Unfortunately, it’s always easy to maintain the relationships we have or develop new ones. We’re busy juggling dozens of responsibilities that we often put our family and friends on the back burner. Only when it’s too late, do we realize how much we’ve neglected one of the most important aspects of our lives.

 

Read ahead to learn how to make the most of quality time with friends and family so you never take them for granted ever again.

 

The Importance of Quality Time

 

We live in an age where everyone is seemingly connected via their screens. We scroll through social media like our lives depend on it. And we’ve convinced ourselves that by sending a text or clicking on a ‘Like’ button, we’ve done our fair share of social interaction for the day.

 

Yet, humans are social creatures. Starting at screens all day long is sort of the opposite of that, which is why a lot of research shows that excessive use of social media platforms is actually one of the biggest risk factors for feeling isolated, lonely, and anxious.

 

On the flip side, keeping in touch with friends and family does wonders for your mental, emotional, and physical health. This means talking on the phone each week and having in-person get-togethers.

 

Strong social connections make you less likely to suffer from high blood pressure, Type-2 diabetes, and other chronic diseases.

 

Another benefit of surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people is that it lowers your risk of depression, stress, and anxiety. In addition, studies show that it can also delay the effect of cognitive disorders like dementia and Alzheimer's.

 

There’s also the fun aspect of spending time with friends and family. You get to create memories and build strong, trusting relationships.

 

Here are a few more benefits to gain from quality time with the important people in your life:

 

• Improves your sense of self-worth
• Boosts self-confidence
• Encourages you to avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits
• Helps you get through challenging times, like an illness, divorce, job loss, etc.
• Increases your sense of purpose and belonging

 

How to Make the Most of Quality Time with Friends and Family

 

Possibly, one of the things that get in the way of connecting with friends and family is that we’re too tired. Staying connected means staying active, scheduling times that suit both of you, and coming up with things to do together.

 

Yet, once you make an effort, you’ll realize it was just what you needed to make you feel happier and less stressed. To help you get inspired, we put together a list of 30 fun-filled ideas you can try the next time you get together with family and friends.

 

1. Try out a new restaurant or coffee shop.
2. Sign up for a dance class.
3. Visit an art gallery or museum.
4. Plan ‘Game Night.’
5. Hire a rowing boat at a local lake.
6. Make a DIY list of things that need repairs or touch-ups around the house and go through them one by one.
7. Pick up a new hobby or activity together.
8. Plan a crafting night where you knit, crochet, color, or pretty much anything creative!
9. Keep track of important events in each other’s lives and celebrate them.
10. Organize a clothes swap.
11. Attend a TED talk together.
12. Host a ‘spa’ night and do each other’s nails.
13. Gather stuff you don’t want and host a yard sale.
14. Enjoy a Broadway (or off-Broadway) show.
15. Sync up your washing schedules so you can meet at the Laundromat.
16. Plan a getaway for the weekend.
17. Set up a home tasting party.
18. Visit a make-your-own pottery studio.
19. Try an Escape Room.
20. Go bowling or Glow-in-the-Dark bowling for even more fun.
21. Invite your friends or family over for breakfast or brunch while dressed in your PJs.
22. Organize a Swap Clothes day.
23. Go shopping!
24. Go to a karaoke bar or rent a karaoke machine and have a karaoke night at home.
25. See a comedy show.
26. Book tickets to the ballet or the symphony and get all dressed up.
27. Enjoy a ball game from the bleachers.
28. Go jumping at a trampoline park.
29. Brew some herbal tea, sit back, and relax while enjoying afternoon tea and biscuits.
30. Attend community events.

 

10 New Things to Start Doing Immediately for a More Interesting and Inspired Life

When life gets dull, there’s no need to succumb to a mundane lifestyle. Instead, just mix it up! Here are 10 new things to do when you’re trying to spunk up your life. 

 

1.    Visit a New Town 

 

Variety is the spice of life, and one way to achieve that is by exploring. You don’t have to trek across the globe to mix up your whereabouts – you can travel to a neighboring town or your closest metropolis. Either way, experiencing a different culture is a great way to make your life more inspired. 

 

2.    Branch Out with Food 

 

Food culture is upon us – let’s relish it! Change up your daily routine by cooking a new meal or going to an exotic restaurant. Here’s the best part: You can do it alone or in good company. It’s your call! 

 

3.    Make a Trip to the Museum 

 

Unless you’re a museum buff, you probably don’t pay frequent trips to the local museum. When you have some extra time on your hands, and you’re looking for new things to do, take a walk-through history or art at the museum. 

 

4.    Spend Time with Someone New 

 

Socialization can be the source of great ideas and inspiration. Give your neighbor a friendly wave or call up an old friend for a coffee date. You never know what could come out of a friendly chat! 

 

5.    Go for a Bike Ride 

 

Fresh air, exercise, and some good ole Vitamin D. A bike ride may be just the thing you need! 

 

6.    Take a Day Trip 

 

When your budget doesn’t allow for a vacation, you can take a day trip to a fun place nearby. Experiment with different foods, visit a few shops and make memories at a new place. 

 

7.    Get Crafty 

 

You don’t have to be an artist to enjoy a good arts and crafts session. Bring out the paint supplies, and glitter and inspiration will hit! 

 

8.    Host a Barbecue 

 

… depending on the weather, of course. When you’re looking for a change of pace, it’s always a good idea to host a gathering with your favorite people. 

 

9.    Go Shopping 

 

There’s nothing like retail therapy! And if you’re working with a budget, you can go thrift shopping. 

 

10.  Pick up Scrapbooking 

 

Sometimes “new” comes from the old. As you piece together your scrapbook, you can look back on your favorite memories. It will boost your inspiration to go make more memories! 

Should You Keep Your Dreams to Yourself?

In 2010, Derek Sivers participated in a TED Conference. His speech lasted just three minutes and in it, he encouraged people to not share their goals with their friends, family, co-workers, or anyone around them. Derek backed up his reasoning with several scientific studies (listen to his presentation here).

 

In his speech, Derek says, “When you tell someone your goal and they acknowledge it, psychologists have found that’s called a social reality. The mind is kind of tricked into feeling it’s already done. Then because you’ve felt that satisfaction, you’re less motivated to do the actual hard work necessary.”

 

Derek goes on to point out how talking about an important life change or goal can make you less likely to succeed. But those aren’t the only reasons you may want to keep your latest ambition a secret from everyone else. Here are three more reasons you should consider keeping mum:

 

Talking about a Goal Destroys Your Stamina

 

How many times have you told someone else you were going to do something hard? Maybe you told a co-worker that you’re planning on losing 50 pounds. Perhaps you told a family member that you were going to get out of debt this year. 

 

You may think doing this pumps you up and makes you more likely to accomplish your goals. But talking about doing something hard can actually drain your energy. You start to come up with all the reasons you won’t achieve it. You might tell yourself, “Well, I just can’t say ‘no’ to sugar. I don’t mind debt that much and I don’t want to change my standard of living.”

 

Sharing a Goal Can Discourage You

 

You’re really going to do it. This will be the year that you quit the factory job you hate so much and start your work at home business. Then you make the mistake of sharing a goal with someone else. 

 

The problem is the other person is negative and quickly points out all of the reasons you’re bound to fail. They may say unsupportive things like, “You don’t have a degree. You don’t have the time. Where are you going to get the money?” 

 

Within a few minutes, you start feeling discouraged. You’d felt so energized and were determined to act on your motivation earlier. But now, you’re filled with self-doubt and negativity.

 

Telling Others about Your Goal Can Damage Your Reputation

 

You’re always the one in your circle of friends with the big dreams. You love sharing your visions and ideas with other people. After all, your new goal is going to work out spectacularly.

 

The only problem is your goals change frequently.  You’re always pursuing something new and you rarely see a goal through to completion. While being a dreamer has its advantages, if you don’t pair your goals with follow-through, you can end up damaging your reputation. People will describe you as flaky and no one will trust your word.

 

Before you tell a friend or family member about your next goal, consider carefully if you should do that. You may accomplish this dream and become more successful if you keep it to yourself rather than sharing it with someone else.  

 

What’s the Dream You’re Afraid to Share?

You have a dream in your heart. It’s the one that’s so precious, so fragile, and so important to you that you don’t share it with others. You hold it close, in the hopes that by protecting it, you’ll one day get the chance to live it. 

 

That’s what Maddie did. She’d dreamed of being a writer since she was a kid. She wanted to write books and see them sold at bookstores around the world. She never shared the dream with anyone and by the time she graduated high school, she decided she needed a practical career.

 

So, she went to college for years and got a degree. Then she began a career as a dentist. She enjoyed getting to help her patients but she still went home every night, feeling unfulfilled. She daydreamed in the quiet moments about the books she’d write.

 

Why Does This Dream Scare You?

 

Are you like Maddie? Do you have a dream that you’ve managed to quiet over the years? Maybe you’ve told yourself that you’ll write that book when the kids are grown. Maybe you’ve decided that you’ll have time to travel when you retire. Maybe you’ve said that one day you’ll go back to school and pursue that career dream, just as soon as you have enough money.

 

But stop and think. Ask yourself what you’re really afraid of. What makes you so frightened of going after the dream? Are you afraid of what people will say? Do you worry that your spouse won’t be supportive? Are you concerned about being shunned by others in your community?

 

How Will It Change Your Life?

 

Sometimes, we fear fulfilling our dreams because it means change. Even good changes – like finally working in a career that makes you happy or making room in your life to travel as often as you want – can feel scary. 

 

Before you can go after that dream, you need to ponder how your life will change. You need to imagine the day you’ll leave your job. You should visualize the moment you step on the stage and receive the diploma you’ve always wanted. You need to close your eyes and create the life of your dreams in your mind.

 

Are You Ready to Pursue It?

 

There is a chasm between the life of your dreams and your life now. The space in between the two will be filled with hard work, bitter tears, crippling setbacks, and intense pain. But if you’re willing to persevere, you’ll find the life you want is on the other side.

 

Maddie followed after her dream of becoming an author. She started writing books. She took writing classes. She networked with other authors. She began submitting her work to publishing houses and got feedback that helped her improve her work even more. She hasn’t sold a book yet, but she’s close. 

 

It takes courage to pursue your dreams and it’s tough. But it’s not nearly as hard as sitting on the sidelines of your own life, hoping that one day you get a chance to live out your deepest longings.

Are You Journaling Your Dream?

You’ve decided to get serious about your dream. But the dream is big and you feel overwhelmed. You’re not sure where to start or how to breathe life into it. You only know you want it so badly that you can taste it.

 

You’re first step could be journaling your dream. Find or buy a journal. Pick one that fits your personality and inspires you to fill each page. Some people like buying fancy leather bound journals while others prefer notebooks from a discount store. It doesn’t matter what your journal looks like or what material it’s made from, it only matters that you love it.

 

Capturing the Journey

 

If you’re not sure how to begin your journal, begin by writing about your dream. Talk about when you first remember becoming aware of the dream. Did you know you wanted to write books when you stepped into the library as a little kid? Did you know you were meant to be on stage when you participated in the theater club in high school? Did you only just discover your dream? Write about it!

 

It’s important that you remember this journal is for your eyes only. You don’t have to worry about perfect spelling and grammar. You’re not going to be graded on your sentence structure or expected to use the right punctuation. You’re free to let everything out in this space.

 

Praying for the Dream You Desire

 

Some people use journaling as a way of connecting with God and praying over their dreams. For example, one woman would start her journal entries with the words: “Dear Heavenly Father…”. She viewed each entry as a love letter to God and found it helpful to share her dream journey with Him.

 

Another woman used her journal to draw images that depicted her life. If she had a bad day and experienced a setback, she would sketch her frustrations and pain. When she had a good day, she would depict her feelings in the forms of cartoons. 

 

Speaking Your Dream into Existence

 

After you’ve dreamed or doodled your goals in your journal, it can be helpful to brainstorm your mantra. You can then repeat these mantras when you’re working on your goal and when you’re tempted to give up and let your dream die.

 

For example, Lesley’s dream was to become a public speaker despite the fact that she suffers from social anxiety. She wanted to spend her time motivating teenagers who felt like everyone had given up on them. 

 

As she began looking for speaking opportunities, she would repeat to herself, “I believe in myself and in my dreams. The world is filled with hurting teenagers who need to hear my message.” 

 

When it comes to your journal, there are no rules. If you want to doodle or draw all over it, do it. If you want to fill it with letters to God or the universe, do it. If you want to write your mantra down a hundred times a day, do it. Remember, this is your safe space where you’re free to dream. 

You Can Communicate Your Feelings Without Upsetting Others—Here’s How

Have you ever held back on saying something because you didn’t want to upset someone? There’s always a point where you internally debate whether or not to open up or say something, and it’s vital that you take that moment to decide to go forth and communicate. It’s not about avoiding upsetting people but rather about being confident in yourself and your feelings. You’re allowed to feel a certain way, and in order to communicate those feelings, start with these X tips. 

 

1. Understand Yourself Fully First

 

If you start a conversation off with anger or frustration or something else that fuels you to confront someone, chances are you will upset them. Instead, take some time to understand yourself first. Then, when you decide to communicate your feelings, you’ll have a clear headspace, and you’ll be ready to discuss maturely. 

 

2. Decide What to Communicate and What Not to Communicate

 

Some things are best kept to yourself. That doesn’t mean repressing them, but if you get annoyed at your friend for going shopping too often, that’s more of a personal problem than a problem you should voice. Before you jump into a conversation, delineate between the things you should discuss and the things you shouldn’t discuss. 

 

3. Think About Who You Trust

 

Opening up about emotions and vulnerability means you are ready to talk to someone about something serious. But that doesn’t mean you trust the person. You may feel vulnerable and just want a listening ear, but if you’re opening up to someone you don’t trust, you could get yourself into trouble. Make sure the person you’re speaking to is someone you trust – and someone who cares about you! 

 

4. Be Caring

 

There’s nothing good about a conversation that spirals into a heated discussion or anger-fueled debate. Be caring and empathetic with your words. Remember that at the end of the day, the person you’re communicating with is a human just like you. They deserve the respect you’d like to be treated with. The golden rule may seem outdated, but it should always be in the back of your mind – especially when you’re opening up in a feely discussion. 

 

5. Be Independent

 

It seems counterintuitive to think about being independent when you’re opening up to someone, but it’s a big component of a healthy discussion. Despite your relationship with this person, you are you. You need to be responsible for your feelings and actions, and you need to understand that no one is responsible for making you feel a certain way other than yourself. 

5 Steps to Effectively Communicate Your Feelings in Relationships

In relationships, there’s communication, and then there’s effective communication. Communication is something that takes a lot of work, and once you’ve successfully positioned yourself as a communicator, the next step is to crack the code at being an effective communicator. If you’re at that step, try these 5 mini steps to help you along with effectively communicating your feelings. 

 

1. Allow Yourself to Feel 

 

Going into a conversation with guilt or apprehension about your feelings? That won’t help you or your partner. You’re completely allowed to feel whatever you’re feeling, and you’re also allowed to talk about those feelings. 

 

2. Label your Feelings

 

You’re experiencing these feelings, but are you reading more into them? Are you labeling them and trying to put into context the essence of your emotions? It’s not easy to do, but it’s a really important exercise for you to do on your own before opening up and sharing with someone else. 

 

3. Start with Yourself

 

If you’re extroverted or you like talking about your feelings a lot, your first inclination may be to talk it out with your significant other. That’s a great thing to do, but it begins with you. You’ll have a hard time processing everything if you’re influenced by someone else’s insight or advice. Start with yourself, and then work your way up to a discussion with your partner. 

 

4. Remember How Much You Matter

 

You matter to your significant other; your feelings matter to your significant other. Keep this in mind and try to negate the potential fear or hesitation you may be experiencing. Swap those feelings for feelings of confidence and security in the strength of your relationship. 

 

5. Swap “You” for “I”

 

Whenever you get close to saying “You made me feel” or “You did this,” swap it for a personal statement. A conversation is helpful for you to share your perspective – not for you to point fingers at your loved one. Think about how you feel, why you feel that way, and what has happened to contribute to those feelings. 

 

Above all, when you’re entering into a conversation with your significant other, be happy that you’re taking this step. It’s excellent for you and even better for your relationship. Give yourself (and your partner) a pat on the back for working through something difficult, and keep yourself reminded of the light at the end of the communication tunnel – a happy, healthy dynamic between you and your partner.