To Speak Or Not To Speak?

When having a conversation with someone else, there are two things going on. One person is doing the talking, and the other person is doing the listening. The problems in conversation can often happen when both partners want to talk, and neither really wants to take the time to listen to the other person. 

 

While talking is an important part of communication, if no one is doing the listening, you will end up with hurt feelings, misunderstandings, and a conversation that is not the best to start with. There is a time to talk and a time to listen in any conversation. And you may be surprised by how much listening you should be doing. 

 

It is actually better to spend more time in the conversation listening rather than talking. This is counterintuitive to what we are used to, but there are some benefits. When you take a step back and listen to the other person, you can learn and really formulate your responses, rather than just jumping in with the first thing that you think. 

 

How many times have you been in a conversation, but focused more on your own thoughts and what you should say next, rather than hearing what that other person has to say? Or how often has that happened to you, where it felt like they were not listening to you? This is a good example of why you should listen. 

 

During the conversation, do not focus on what you are going to say first. Spend the time listening to what the other person is saying. Ask for clarification if something is confusing or if you think there is more information that you need. And really listen, rather than focusing on what you will say next. You can then speak up and give your response, based on what the other person has told you. 

 

Do not worry about the conversation stalling. This will actually help it to get ahead and do better because both of you will be on the same page. And even if you do need to pause for a few seconds afterwards before you respond, that is not a big deal. It shows that you are actively listening and trying to come up with the right response for that person, rather than the one that you want to get out there. A good balance between talking and listening will be critical to good communication.