An anchor is a tool used to hold a ship or boat in place to keep them from sailing away on their own. One of my favorite old hymns says, 'Will your anchor hold in the storms of life when clouds unfold their wings of strife? When the strong tides lift, and the cables strain, will your anchor drift or firm remain?’. Forget about singing the song and ask yourself those questions. Considering that life is so fragile and complex with so much going on, what is the best thing, or who is the best person to entrust your journey here on earth with? For most people, the source of strength is the faith they have in celestial beings. Their absolute being relies on their spiritual life. Thus, if you were to ask what their anchor is, they would name whichever deity they believe in. However, our faith normally lays a foundation for us to build our lives and leaves the rest to us. Can whatever you rely on for strength pull you through the worst situations of life?
After our faith has built a foundation, it is up to us to then build the walls and secure our lives. Storms of life are inevitable and, they will come in different forms. Some will shack our boats to a point where we don’t see the possibility of a better life beyond the storm. As much as it would be greatly beneficial to have others carry our burdens with us, how effective or sustainable is that?
Being the anchor of your life means having the ability to keep your life on your purposed track regardless of what you encounter. Even where you do find help, you are still the one responsible for the major tasks meant to carry you forward. It requires you to put together your faith and life lessons to build a more secure life. It is also about you finding ways to be your own hero. Here is why you should be the main actor in your story and be the anchor of your life:
1. Others may not always be there – it is very common for people to put way too much trust in others particularly their friends, spouse, and family. This happens mostly in codependent relationships where one attaches their entire being to their relationships with other people such that they lose a part of themselves to those people. What happens when those people leave or grief strikes? That is where you then find people broken, confused, and hopeless, unable to move forward. What happens when the friend who often offers a shoulder to cry on is having issues and is unavailable to give you support. Does life have to stop and wait for that person to get back to you? As your support system, you learn to control emotions and other mental issues enough to stay focused and keep going even when people come into your life and leave. You maintain your identity and find contentment in the person you are.
2. You know yourself and your life better – no one can understand your situation better than you do. That makes you the best person to deal with your situation where others would most likely miss the mark or mislead you. Sometimes we handle situations better with fewer voices suggesting to us different ways of running our lives. Handling our situations gives us a chance, to be honest with ourselves and self-introspect. Other than that, your dreams will keep you going where those who don’t understand your purpose give up on you and your dreams.
3. You become stronger and wiser – imagine yourself having people assigned to take care of all your tasks including solving personal problems. Where would that leave you? You miss the opportunity to learn more about life and yourself. When you are independent, everything goes through you. You know what you did wrong or right for things to turn out the way they are, which allows you to build onto your existing knowledge. Exposure to challenging situations will help you become mentally stronger while you also discover more of your abilities.
4. Safety from exploitation and unhealthy relationships – self-reliance protects you from those who would take advantage of your situation had you relied on them more. Many people have fallen victim to various types of abuse while some have found themselves trapped in difficult situations because they put too much trust in other people. Being in control of your life allows you to choose the path that works for you. Dependence exposes your weaknesses and makes you easy prey to predators.
5. Independence and identity – as alluded to previously, with self-reliance you choose how you want to run your life. You are not under pressure or too desperate to please people to the extent of losing yourself in the process. For example, some people are often forced to match their parents’ achievements and some are used to correct their parent’s mistakes. On the other hand, some spouses give their partners too much control and voluntarily surrender their all to the partner in an attempt to prove their commitment. Such levels of submission hinder people from living their lives to the fullest.
6. Easier to stay true to your purpose – being the one who calls the shots keeps you from forgetting who you are and losing direction. Due to that, it is easier to keep your eyes on your goals and to work on the latter at a pace that works for you.
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