Bad things happen. However, it’s your response to them that defines the quality of your life and character. You can choose perpetual unhappiness or you can rise above the difficulty and treasure life.
Some of us experience more painful events and struggle more often in life than others. We wonder why it happens to us instead of the bad people in the world. Unfortunately, life isn’t fair. Terrible things happen, and they strike when least expected. When this happens, it’s okay to feel down and it’s okay to cry about the circumstances. It’s even acceptable to feel angry.
However, there comes a point where you have to shake it off and let go of the past. You have to make a choice to not allow it to consume you. You have to learn something from the experience and constructively move forward.
This isn’t about clinical depression; this is about wallowing in your misery or self-pity.
You are not Alone in the Sadness
Think of a difficult time in your life. Perhaps you moved across the country for love, only for it to fall apart. Alternatively, perhaps you lost your job soon after getting a mortgage on a brand-new house. When such bad things happen, you are suddenly a victim and your first impulse may be to play the part as if you were competing for an Oscar nomination.
You might burst into tears at the drop of a hat and tell your story to strangers. Often the people around you will show you compassion and pick you back up and brush you off.
No matter how hopeless and helpless you feel, there will always be people in your life that show you that you’re not alone, that you are not unloved. In that situation, you can choose to accept that love or you can allow yourself to be consumed with misery and self-pity.
While you go through your tragedy or upset there are people in pain all around you. They have lost loved ones, are struggling with finances, have terminal illnesses, or are homeless. However, if you are like most people, while you’re in the midst of your misery you don’t care about others. You’re only concerned with yourself and your own gloom.
It often takes a lot of time and space before we can look back on those situations and see there was a lesson in it. It did work out. And we only wasted time by wallowing.
Wallowing In Misery Is A Choice
When you let misery take control of your life, it leads to total self-absorption. It’s destructive for your mental health to dwell on negatives. It leaves you with a chip on your shoulder, bitter and resentful. Focusing on hurt means you’re not focused on controlling your life.
When you blaming your circumstances for your place in life, you give up control and responsibility over your life. You can choose to feel sorry for yourself and wallow in misery, or you can choose to rise above it. Self-pity is selfish and makes us unaware of the suffering of those around us.
Instead, you can choose to edify yourself, take charge of your happiness, and enjoy your life. Your happiness is your personal responsibility. You can control whether or not you look on the bright side.
You can continue to feel the hurt and the pain and you can choose to cry and mope if you want to. But those are only healthy when things to do when you do them in order to let the pain go.
You are not alone and you are not unloved. There are people who need you. But you can’t help them if you can’t help yourself. You may not be able to change the past but your future is in your hands. So forget misery and embrace the bright side.
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