Active Listening: A Task More Difficult Than Public Speaking

Active listening is the ability of a person to focus their attention on the speaker, to process and absorb what that person is saying, and to respond thoughtfully. It is about really paying attention to what the speaker is saying, rather than daydreaming, worrying about the to-do list, or focusing on what you are going to say next. 

 

Active listening is going to be different than what most people do, which is passive listening. With passive listening, you kind of hear the person in the background, but you do not absorb what they are saying that well. 

 

The goal of active listening is to fully pay attention to what the speaker is telling you. You will look at some of their verbal cues, their nonverbal cues, and listen to them rather than paying attention to some of the other things that are on your mind. It includes asking a lot of questions to learn more about what they want to share, getting clarification and digging deeper when necessary. 

 

There will be some talking when you use active listening. But the listening has to come first. When you actively listen to the other person, you will have a better idea of what they are trying to share, and some of the hidden meanings that are there. And this makes it easier to give a response that will work well with what that person was telling to you, rather than making the conversation go off on a tangent. 

 

Active listening is something that takes time to learn. Too many of us focus on passive listening or are focusing on what is important to us at the time. This is a habit that we need to get out of and since it is lifelong, it is hard to break. Trying a little bit at a time will make a difference and can help you to really have some of the meaningful conversations that you want. 

 

When it comes to having a good conversation with other people, you need to start utilizing active listening. Even trying it a little bit can be enough to make the conversation flow more and helps make the other person feel like you value them more than before. It is a hard habit to learn, but by being empathetic, focusing on the speaker rather than yourself, and practicing, you will get this skill down in no time.