What things that others do for you make you feel loved? Do you like to have people give you special gifts, or to send you cards and messages that assure you that you are loved and appreciated? Maybe you are the type of person who appreciates a hug as a way of feeling loved, or really enjoy spending time with your spouse or best friend.
The way we give love to others is often indicative of the way we want to be loved ourselves. Most couples enjoy expressing their love to each other. However, many of us have yet to learn a golden lesson. We all give and receive love every day. Often what makes us feel loved is different to the way others give and receive it. Learning what makes our spouse or children feel loved can be the key to making even great relationships even better.
We all enjoy being told we are loved, but for some people, the spoken word is not enough. Telling your spouse or child you love them but never following it up with the things that make them feel loved can create feelings of confusion and concern in even the best of relationships.
Keep a record of what you do for others to show them your love and note the reactions you receive to those actions. As you observe the significant people in your life and their responses to the different ways, you express love to them; you will soon see how they best “hear” you.
If your wife sees help around the house as evidence of how much you love her, each time you help her you confirm to her you love her. In just one action, you will speak louder to her about your love than if you verbally assure her of your love every day. If your husband wants your physical touch, giving it to him will assure him you love him, more than any number of meals you may cook for him.
Learning to recognize the things that make us feel loved and then identifying what the significant people in our lives need to feel loved is a beautiful self-growth adventure that will revolutionize our relationship. It takes little time and effort to learn how to do this, yet as we learn and use this simple technique, our significant relationships can be transformed.
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